i'm not a bad man

Chapter 618 Breaking the bones and connecting the tendons

Because I was looking back on my experiences over the past year, I fell into a state of trance. It wasn't until Qiao Jiao next to me knocked on my shoulder that I came back to my senses. She curled her lips first, and then smiled at me. I said: "This is the first time I saw you not lighting up a cigarette when you were distracted..."

I also smiled and replied: "So, habits are not something that cannot be changed."

"Since habits can be changed and solutions can be found in conflicts...then, can we still be optimistic about our future lives?"

I couldn't find full confidence, but in order to give Qiao Jiao confidence, I still replied against my will: "Of course you can imagine that you are very optimistic. Even in the rainy season, if it rains for a month, there will be sunny days."

"I think so too, but I don't know why, but when it comes out of your mouth, I don't believe it."

"why?"

"You have the nerve to ask why!... You are the one who least fulfills your promises among all the people I have ever met. It was my dad before me. It was only after I met you at the age of 24 that I discovered that I Compared with you, dad is just a scumbag..."

I shook my head and smiled bitterly, and after a while I replied: "When abilities and ideas do not match, there will be so many promises that cannot be fulfilled..."

Qiao Jiao followed me and smiled bitterly, and then said to me after a while of silence: "Did you see the seesaw over there?"

"Well, I saw it when you just parked the car."

"You said, this seesaw will swing back and forth as long as someone sits on it. Can it shake all those annoying worries out of the body?"

"You'll know if you try it."

……

Because it was late at night and the lights in the park had already been extinguished, Qiao Jiao turned on the flashlight of her mobile phone and placed it on the flower bed next to the seesaw. In the empty and boundless night, such a beam of light was really a drop in the bucket, but it was enough. We see each other clearly.

Qiao Jiao said that what she fears most in her life is darkness, but the thing she cannot hide from the most is darkness, because her parents divorced when she was very young. Soon, her father had a new family. life, so she spends most of her time alone.

I know that the darkness she is talking about is not darkness in the true sense, but a kind of loneliness without a companion. The darkness is just a magnifying glass, which suddenly magnifies her loneliness.

But it doesn't matter, at least at this moment, we are with each other.

……

I lit a cigarette and Qiao Jiao picked a leaf to play with. We just sat on the seesaw and swayed to each other. This seesaw is really a magical thing. As it swayed, I forgot many things, even I forgot the purpose of coming to Chengdu, and instead thought about a lot of things that happened when I was wandering on the road.

Qiao Jiao seemed to have remembered the past, so she took the initiative to chat with me about Lu Xi. She said to me: "Lu Xi and I are really good friends and best friends, so there are some things between us." Promise... But there seems to be a kind of magic spell between people. The more something is agreed upon, the harder it is to realize it..." After a pause, she asked me again: "Do you know that between us? What is the most important agreement?"

I thought about it seriously, but because I had no way of knowing, I finally shook my head helplessly at her. Of course I could make a guess, but when I thought of my unfulfilled promises, I couldn't help but feel ashamed, so I gave up. Got the idea to take a guess.Qiao Jiao didn't intend to let me guess. After I shook my head, she said to me in a low voice: "When we knew that the ultimate meaning of a relationship between a man and a woman is to get married, we agreed that we must be in the same place. Get married on the same day and hold the wedding on the same day... If marriage is a kind of pain, then we will share the hardship; if marriage is a kind of happiness, then we will share the blessings... In fact, I never thought there was anything wrong with this agreement before. It wasn't until we fell in love with the same man that we suddenly discovered... It seemed to be a bit ruinous... Only by marrying the same man would there be a situation of sharing blessings and hardships... If you marry a different man , how can there be such a thing as sharing blessings and sufferings? After all, men have good and bad qualities. What if she marries a good man and I marry a bad man? Or, vice versa..."

At this point, Qiao Jiao stopped, and then fell into a state of confusion...

I thought of something when she was absent-minded, but I didn't dare to say what I thought.

Finally, Qiao Jiao closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then said to me: "So, before my wedding, she mentioned this agreement to me... I was really fascinated, and it actually happened. Because this agreement went away with her... knowing that the so-called wedding on the same day and holding a wedding on the same day is simply unrealistic."

I didn't know how to express my inner emotions, so I sighed subconsciously and remained silent.

"Han Chao..."

It wasn't until Qiao Jiao called my name that I agreed, but Qiao Jiao had already changed the subject, and she asked me again: "If we can escape this disaster this time, we can give you a chance to make a new life." How will you live if you have the opportunity?"

I thought for a long time before replying: "Did you know that besides singing and writing songs, I also have a talent that I am particularly good at?"

"What talent?"

"I am very good at writing compositions. Since elementary school, some of my compositions have been published in the city newspaper... My Chinese teacher told me seriously, if one day you can no longer survive, don't forget You can consider being a writer and write about life, human emotions, and your idealism... A writer is also a profession, and you can support your family." Follow me The Weixin public account: ***, you can view the latest chapters!
Qiao Jiao looked suspicious and said, "You are bragging, are you so versatile?"

"Do you really think I got into the 985 University by luck?...Except for my English, which is slightly worse, I am top-notch in all other subjects."

After saying that, I rummaged through the photo album for a long time, and finally found the college admission notice from that year, and showed it in front of Qiao Jiao. Qiao Jiao came over and looked at it again and again, and then said: " I believe it, you continue..."

I took a heavy drag on the cigarette, and after a moment of silence, I said: "If God is willing to give me a chance to be a new person, I will become a writer... The relationship between men and women is too hurtful, sorry. There are too many... When I become a writer, I will write a novel with only men and no women... only about the brotherhood between men and men, the father-son love between men and men, and the love between men and men. The comrades-in-arms between them...there is no trace of women at all..."

Before I finished speaking, I was interrupted by Qiao Jiao: "Speaking of the comradeship between men, I suddenly remembered a TV series."

"What TV show?"

"Soldiers Assault, it seems to be a very popular TV series when I was in elementary school... There was only one female character in the whole show, and in the end she was beaten to death by Xu Sanduo, a special soldier, because she was a drug dealer!"

After saying that, Qiao Jiao laughed "haha", and I laughed with her. Thinking about it in retrospect, this arrangement was indeed quite funny.

My laughter hadn't stopped yet, but Qiao Jiao had tears in her eyes and looked at me with an extremely complicated look. It wasn't until I looked at her that she said to me: "If there is One day, I married another man... Don't be sad... In fact, what hurts is not the relationship between men and women, it's that there is always something missing between us, but it's hard to let go... So, there is always something wrong. It feels like breaking bones and connecting tendons..."

(End of this chapter)