i'm not a bad man

Chapter 76

After Tu Lin left, the sound of the tide suddenly became clearer, and the wind blew over, bringing with it a slight cutting pain. But I knew that the environment I was in had not changed. It was me who was quiet. After being quiet, I felt a little bit of pain. The perception of the world becomes sharper...

It is better to say sensitive than sharp, because in the sound of wind and waves, I remembered many things that once made me feel painful and regretful; I am even more afraid that the beliefs and life I have always insisted on will one day be destroyed by someone. People, something suddenly overturns; especially today, Qiao Jiao's laughter as she looked at my RV seemed to ring an alarm bell in my heart, and made me feel a little guilty towards Luan Yu.

In those two years, I only knew how to take her around, but I never asked her what she really wanted, let alone what her family was like.I feel that this RV is our home, and we can go wherever we want. We will never plan or design for the future, and Luan Yu is not allowed to plan, because I feel that all planning is a kind of binding and Confinement will make me feel unhappy and vulgar... I often tell Luan Yu that if there is no romance and freedom, it is better to die than to live. Whenever this happens, Luan Yu will remain silent, even if she has something in her heart. Thousands of words.

It was on the prairie of NMG. As far as the eye could see, there was only endless green and loneliness. The night was the best cover. We hid behind a mound, sweating freely and mingling with each other...

After the incident, she rested her head on my shoulder, played with my very long hair, and suddenly said to me gently: "Husband, do you want to have a baby?"

"You want a baby?...Don't be kidding, our RV can only accommodate the two of us at most. Aren't multiple children a burden?"

"Why can't you change your mind?... Let's stop in a city we like, each find a job, and then buy a house. When we have our own home, we can have a baby... You can’t imprison our entire future in this RV, understand?”

"I don't know. We promised to live a happy life together. It's only been more than a year since we came out. You are just like those vulgar women. You want a future, a house, and the next generation from me... Are these really that important?"

"Okay, you can say these are not important...but yesterday was my birthday, do you remember?"

"yesterday?"

"Ah."

"It was really yesterday... there was a sandstorm in Zhongwei yesterday. I was busy on my way and forgot about it!"

"I know, so I don't blame you. I'm telling you this because I think it's time to stop and have a rest after walking for so long. The scenery on the road is beautiful, but we can't forget the life. Those meaningful things…I’m really a little tired.”

"Okay, after we finish walking NMG, we will find a seaside city to stop. What do you think of Qingdao?"

"Qingdao?... Qingdao is certainly good, but the housing prices are too expensive. If you like the sea, we can go to Rizhao next door to Qingdao."

"Don't think about the house, just Qingdao... Qingdao is a new first-tier city after all, with a lot of food, drink, and entertainment. I really don't like the way that after ten o'clock in the evening, there are no people on the street. Small cities are so boring!”

I can’t remember the rest of the conversation clearly, but when I recall these words at this moment, I realize that Luan Yu’s current life also stems from my original decision. If I had listened to her, If she goes to live in Rizhao, she won't meet that man in Qingdao...

I was poor and had nothing, but I actually changed her fate.

At this moment, my heart was filled with an indescribable feeling. In the end, I just closed my eyes and lit a cigarette. After a cigarette, I opened a bottle of beer and drank alone...

How does it feel to say goodbye to the RV and find a house to live in?
I asked it over and over again in my mind. I didn't have the answer, but Luan Yu must know.

……

Carrying a beer bottle that didn’t have much alcohol left, I came to the RV, touched its cabin with my hands, walked around, and finally said with some choking: "Old man, thank you for accompanying me to so many places. You have given me so many beautiful memories... You have never changed, you are loyal, and you have never left me on the road... But I am a human being, I will change and have new ideas... So, I want to find a house I'm settled... I'm sorry, there is no free house in the world, I need some money... Today... I say goodbye tonight... You can go to the second-hand car market with me tomorrow... In the days to come, Stay with your new master..."

After saying that, I closed my eyes and tears fell.

I didn't want to cry, so I wiped away the tears with my hands, walked to the RV, and then took out the guitar from the box. I wanted to sing a song for it as a farewell ceremony.

……

I plucked the strings and sang "Flowers of the Sea" by Luo Dayou. This was my favorite song, but I had never sung it on the road; I once thought that when I sang this song again, I would definitely It's to say goodbye to a very important person...

It's a pity that Luan Yu left quietly, so there was no chance to sing to her. So, at this moment, I will give it to my beloved RV. To a certain extent, it can be equal to Luan Yu.

"You are so tender, giving me a dream that floats faintly in the undulating waves; in your arms, you are so affectionate, rocking my dreams, lingering towards every boundless wave in the sea, On your body; dreams come true, turning around, waves and shadows disappear into the world of mortals; water lines remain, and regrets are left in the air. I only wish that he would live, that the figure of yesterday could be with you, and be inseparable forever... You are such a strange love, Shattering my dreams, like the fleeting light of foam on the water's surface..."

As I sang, I shook my head. At the moment when I shook my head, I could no longer control my emotions, and two lines of sad tears fell down my cheeks.

...Thinking of this journey, I couldn't help myself, and my desire to smoke became stronger again, so I closed my eyes and reached out to touch the cigarette case on the table...

I didn't touch the cigarette case, but I was hit hard by something on my face. It was really hard, but it didn't hurt. It just blocked my sight.

I hurriedly sat up, then took it away from my face, and took a closer look. It turned out to be an unused towel!Qiao Jiao was standing three to five meters in front of me. Her two eyebrows seemed to be about to be twisted together because of anger.

"Damn...Sister Jiao, what are you doing?"

After saying that, I didn't waste the piece of aunt's towel and used it to wipe away the tears on my face.

"Han Chao, can you do something for me?"

"Don't you just want an aunt's towel? Who can give it to you?... Damn it, please tell me to slow down for a while, I'm going to faint from your aunt's towel!"

Qiao Jiao didn't pay attention to my feelings at all. She still said to me with anger: "I don't hate your friend, he is just a fool... What I hate is you, you are a beast who deserves to be killed with a thousand cuts!"

"Oh, my friend likes you, but he is a fool... What about you yourself? You are not much smarter, are you? If you are capable, you have nothing. If you are a nun, don't like Sister Lu."

"Don't try to change your mind with me here...I'm really going to make you vomit blood because of your anger!"

"As for that? You just don't like me and want to take the opportunity to mess with me... I just asked you to buy auntie towels by yourself, but you said you are not interested... Now you are coming to me to accuse me, where did you get the energy from? ?”

Qiao Jiao still had an angry expression on her face, but I felt more and more that she was a psychopath. She was like a sadist in perverted movies, but I am not a masochist. I also have a temper.

Just when I was about to have an attack, Qiao Jiao suddenly reached into her shoulder bag. I thought she was going to pull out some hidden weapon, so I subconsciously leaned back and protected her head with both arms.

But nothing hit me. I put down my arm tentatively, and then looked at Qiao Jiao cautiously. I saw that she was holding a bag in her hand. The bag contained the cold dew that I wanted to eat before but didn't. Peach.

At this time, Qiao Jiao said again: "Yesterday in the Luxi ward, I saw your anxious look when you wanted to eat but couldn't get it. I remembered it in my heart... So, as soon as I came back, I drove around I searched... I searched for fruit shops in half of Qingdao, and then I found it at an export fruit wholesale market... I didn't come to Auntie today, but I was tired because I was looking for this peach for you. That’s why I brought it forward... I asked you to buy auntie towels just by the way, but what good things did you do in the end?... Have you ever thought about how embarrassed I was when I saw that friend of yours!"

I looked at Qiao Jiao, surprised, but also gradually moved. So after a short silence, I finally lowered my voice and said to her: "Why are you so nice to me all of a sudden?"

"I told you, I will repay your kindness to me. I can't let you suffer that blow for me in vain."

"Uh... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm just a straight man, and I didn't even think about that."

"Take it."

After saying that, Qiao Jiao threw the bag of cold dew peaches on my folding table, turned around and left...

I quickly got up and chased after her, and shouted after her: "Sister Jiao, you left something here, wait a minute."

Taking advantage of Qiao Jiao slowing down, I walked quickly behind her, then stuffed the piece of auntie scarf she had just used to pat me back into her shoulder bag, and said, "I am a single man, this It’s not appropriate for me to keep things here.”

"Why don't you die quickly?!"

After Qiao Jiao cursed like this, she suddenly frowned and pressed her lower abdomen with both hands, almost unable to stand...

I was stunned for a moment, and suddenly I remembered Luan Yu's appearance when she had menstrual cramps.

Yes, she must be having menstrual cramps.

No matter how she behaves, at the end of the day, she is still a woman!

(End of this chapter)