I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 1 Go Back To The Past
Su Chengyi lowered his head and leaned against the platform. The heating in the subway station was fully turned on, but he still felt a little chilly.

It was the rush hour after get off work, and the passers-by were all in a hurry, which was in sharp contrast to him standing there like a sculpture.

"Am I paranoid?"

That was the only possibility he could think of.

Otherwise, he was obviously on his way home from get off work, but in a daze, how could he be standing in the subway station from ten years ago wearing his middle school uniform?
Listening to the sound of the subway whizzing by, long-dusted past events flowed into his mind like the wind.

Sharp memories rushed like shards of glass, and he only felt an unusual headache.

"Su Chengyi!"

A clear and charming call pulled him out of his chaotic thoughts.

He raised his head blankly, and in front of him was a long-haired girl wearing the same school uniform. She had bright eyes and white teeth, and she was looking at him with her head tilted and a smile.

Su Chengyi stared into her shining eyes and opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

The girl in front of her frowned and asked worriedly:

"What's wrong with you? Why do you look like you've lost your soul?"

Ah, just remembered.

Her name is Chu Qingmian, and she was the monitor in high school.

In Su Chengyi's impression, the two had little contact with each other in private, and the closest relationship was probably only the name on the report card.

So he shook his head and replied:
"I'm fine, I just forgot what I was doing here."

Chu Qingmian burst out laughing again, grabbed his sleeves and pulled him out.

"Idiot, of course you have to go home!"

Yes, it's Saturday afternoon.

It was already the final stage of his senior year in high school, and the weekends prescribed by the school were only from Saturday night to Sunday afternoon. He originally took the subway to go home.

Thinking of this, Su Chengyi let her hold his cuffs, and the girl kept chattering along the way.

"I saw you as soon as I got off the subway. At first I thought you were waiting for someone, but you looked weird, so I said hello to you."

"Why did you run away before school ended today? Remember to go to Li Tianwang to collect your scholarship tomorrow."

"You've been here for so long, are you hungry? I brought milk..."

Chu Qingmian didn't seem to talk so much in his memory, and Su Chengyi felt that the noise made her head hurt even more.

When the two of them got on the escalator out of the station, Chu Qingmian finally calmed down for a while, lowered her head and rummaged around in her bag for something.

Rising from the dark underground to the ground, the dull warmth in the subway station was blown away by the cold wind.

The dazzling winter sun shone down, and he subconsciously stretched out his hand to block it.

"Here, here it is, strawberry flavored."

After adapting to the light, what came into view was Chu Qingmian's bright smile, with a shallow dimple, which looked particularly dreamy under the halo.

The girl's hair fluttered gently in the breeze, carrying a faint scent of fructose.

Su Chengyi reached out and took the box of strawberry milk, turned away and whispered: "Thank you."

Chu Qingmian immediately came to him with joy as if she had won the lottery:
"Wow! You actually accepted it! A great success!"

"..."

It seems to be the case. In the past, I would never accept anything from others, and I would never speak more than three words to my classmates.

It's not so much aloofness as a character flaw.

Severe social anxiety coupled with an avoidant personality meant that he had few friends since he was a child.

This situation did not improve until he graduated and officially started working.

Fortunately he is a programmer.

Eight out of ten programmers are as reticent as him.

But high school students are different.

They basically have endless energy to vent, and a desire to judge anything that is unreasonable.

Although they are not inherently malicious.

Su Chengyi was the "heretic" who was outside the crowd and was tried.

So his high school career can almost be said to be a complete nightmare.

No matter where he goes, he is followed by sizing eyes, and now he feels a little uncomfortable just thinking about it.

When their thoughts wandered, the two of them had already reached the crossroads side by side.Chu Qingmian on the side seemed to be in a very happy mood, and even hummed a little tune:

"One step, two steps, three steps, four steps, looking at the sky~"

Su Chengyi stood still and coughed lightly: "I'm going this way."

Chu Qingmian jumped forward two more steps and turned around with her hands behind her back:
"I know! Su Chengyi, see you tomorrow."

Su Chengyi watched her cheerful little rabbit disappear out of sight, and then walked towards his home.

After walking for about ten minutes, the surrounding high-rise buildings gradually turned into somewhat dilapidated old-fashioned buildings.

Since he was admitted to college, he has not been back here.

Looking at the surrounding scenery, I felt a sense of change.

As soon as he turned into the alley, an old lady carrying a vegetable basket recognized him and called him with a smile on her face: "Hey!"

Su Chengyi tried hard to match the person in front of him with the name in his memory.

The old lady didn't wait for him to say hello, but took out two eggs from the basket and stuffed them into the pocket of his school uniform.

"You take home your own local eggs and steam them to eat. It will replenish your body. Look how thin you are! A young man can't just grow taller but not fat..."

"Thank you, Granny Xu."

Finally remembering the title, Su Chengyi bowed lightly to her.

As if she didn't expect him to respond, Granny Xu was so surprised and happy that she insisted on taking him home for dinner.

"Let's go, come to my mother-in-law's house for dinner, she will make braised pork for you!"

Su Chengyi quickly excused himself by saying that he had a lot of homework today and would do it next time.

Only then did he successfully break free and get into the corridor next to him.

The corridor looked a little dark because of the backlight, and the voice-activated light was probably broken.

Small advertisements can be seen everywhere, covering the cement walls.

There were debris piled up at the turning point of the middle partition. As he walked past, the air was filled with the smell of dust.

Walking to the fifth floor, the key was inserted into the keyhole, and the old security door creaked.

The afterglow of the setting sun spilled into the house through the glass windows, stretching his shadow long.

"Did you forget to close the curtains?"

He closed the door gently and walked to the window.

It was already dinner time, the symphony of pots and pans was playing, and children were running through the alleys laughing and playing after school.

His hand hesitated on the edge of the curtain for a second, but in the end he didn't pull it closed.

Turning around and lying down on the sofa, Su Chengyi closed his eyes and his thoughts fluctuated.

Feeling the sunlight slowly disappearing and darkness creeping in from the window.

Why is it me who is reborn?
I finally escaped from the quagmire of collective life and returned to my own besieged city.

My salary is enough to cover my expenses in first-tier cities; my body is healthy except for lack of sleep; I have never been in love and have no emotional problems.
If I have to say it, he is unhappy.

Human beings are essentially social animals, but their relationships with other people are as indifferent as a layer of tissue paper, leaving no trace of a passing goose.

He lives in this world like a walking corpse with no sorrow or joy.

But if you really think about it, the majority of people in the world are unhappy, right?

As the saying goes, things often go wrong as you wish, but you can tell people the same thing.

Perhaps those who are happy in the eyes of others also have unspeakable pain.

Study hard and stay away from his hometown. All the efforts he put in in his previous life were just weaving a cocoon shell just to wrap himself up.

But now the cocoon is broken.

Su Chengyi opened his eyes, darkness had enveloped the entire world, and lights from every house were dotted like stars.

In the Magic City, he had countless nights like this, silently looking out the glass window at a world that had nothing to do with him.

The lights of the world, which seemed so far away at that time, now seem to be within reach.

He sat up and suddenly felt hungry.

Touching the box of strawberry milk in the pocket of the school uniform, an unconscious smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.

For some reason, he suddenly didn't resist being reborn so much.

(End of this chapter)