I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 144 Same dream, different world

The old city was completely silent late at night, with only the gentle sound of the evening breeze blowing through the window screens, and the clear moonlight appearing and disappearing through the gaps.

Su Chengyi lay on the bed and slowly closed his eyes.

This was the first time in his life that he was confessed so directly.

After all, he has almost zero love experience, especially when the other person is someone like Chen Jinzhi.

You know, people who could only be seen through LED advertising screens in their previous lives, people who can cause a sensation among fans around the world with every move, every gesture, and every smile.

She is standing in front of you now, and she also said that she likes you.

Even Su Chengyi, whose heart was sealed by cement in his previous life, could not help but feel the warmth of the spring breeze melting the ice and snow.

It was difficult to suppress the tension and excitement for a moment, and he felt as if his heart had stopped beating for a second.

But after a short period of time, my mood slowly cooled down.

He didn't understand the definition of "like".

Chu Qingmian never said the word "like" to him face to face, but no matter how dull he was, after hearing Chu Qingmian's self-confession that night in the abandoned laboratory building, he could still feel that——

She probably likes him.

This kind of love may come from my childhood obsession.

It's like a seed was planted at that time, and now it has grown into a towering tree, with pavilions like a canopy.

But Chu Qingmian is determined and brave, there is no doubt about this.

Su Chengyi couldn't imagine anyone else who could keep trying to get closer to someone who didn't respond for ten years.

He felt a little sad when he thought that in his previous life, Chu Qingmian had waited for him for so long without getting an ending.

Chen Jinzhi took this opportunity tonight to express his feelings to her, perhaps the only friend she could trust in the world.

Although she thought she didn't understand, that's why she pointed it out so boldly.

However, by some mistake, he accidentally recorded this conversation and knew what she meant.

Su Chengyi also wanted to brainwash herself. She usually likes to make jokes like this. She is just setting me up with her friends. How could she really like me? And other reasons for evasion.

But he knew very well that it wasn't.

The three hours of waiting for him to come home in the dark, the morning breeze blowing on the knee pillow on the rooftop, the sudden kiss on the rainy night, and the raised corners of the mouth when he said these words tonight.

There are too many to deceive yourself.

In the past life, let alone falling in love with Chen Jinzhi, even meeting her would have been a luxury.

And her aura on stage doesn't look like she's going to be in love at all.

The current Chen Jinzhi is far different from what he saw in his previous life.

In the short first half of her life, God gave her too much suffering, so she grew up to be invulnerable to all poisons.

The only thing that hasn't changed is that she is still the kind of person who is very good at restraining her emotions. The only emotions she can express are part of her heart.

So in other words, she may like you more than meets the eye.

The current Chen Jinzhi is beautiful and fragile at the same time. This may be the source of her special temperament.

Like a glass statue in a swamp, if he didn't step up to help her, she would slowly sink into it.

Such a person crosses the mire, dusts off the dust, and holds out a shimmering crystal heart to you with trembling hands. Probably no one in the world knows how to refuse.

But just because you can't refuse doesn't mean you know how to accept it.

Su Chengyi didn't even understand the definition of like, let alone a more intimate and complex relationship like love.

The reason for his negative and pessimistic attitude towards love relationships can be traced back to Su Zelang and Yang Liu.

The two of them personally showed the young Su Chengyi what it was called: Lan Yin Xu Guo.

Orchid is a beautiful beginning, and xu symbolizes a failed ending.

It's not like catkins blowing up in the wind. When the wind blows, they scatter in all directions.

The meeting and love between Su Zelang and Yang Liu is simply a romantic scene that cannot be captured in movies.

Fall in love at first sight among the crowd, fall in love quickly, and stay together without hesitation even if the whole world opposes it, but what will be the result?

Su Chengyi understood at a very young age that the relationship between people may be beautiful, but it is also fragile.

Any quarrel, disagreement, or unintentional hurtful words will cause a rift in the relationship between two people, and the damage is irreparable.Most people will not be trapped in such a relationship for a long time. After a few tears and a few days of sadness, they may be able to come out and embrace a new life.

After experiencing a few more such failures, they will finally realize that love is not the most important part of life, so they will become numb, put "suitability" before "like", build a strong and perfect family, and finally Live a happy life in the eyes of others.

Just like what Su Zelang and Yang Liu are doing now.

But Su Chengyi is not the majority.

Regardless of whether it was in his previous life or now, he actually always had a place similar to a safe zone in his heart.

It is a strong inner line of defense, and its function is to protect yourself.

If someone passes through many checkpoints and finally enters the safe zone and sees the truest person, he regrets it and turns around and leaves.

Su Chengyi felt that it would be a devastating blow to herself.

The beginnings of the stories were all beautiful, and he did not doubt the sincerity they showed towards him now.

But the Jincheng martial arts lecture in "Chungking Express":

"Saury will expire, canned meat will expire, and even plastic wrap will expire. I began to wonder what else in this world will not expire?"

There are too many risks and emotions involved in starting an intimate relationship. Although the symptoms of social anxiety have been reduced a lot than before, it is still difficult for him to really take that step.

After thinking about it, Su Chengyi suddenly felt that he was thinking too much.

Maybe it was just a casual confession out of emotion, but he had almost thought of the name of his child.
Isn’t this self-defeating?
What's more, the college entrance examination is coming soon. Even if you have to consider these things, it will be after the college entrance examination.

He sat up, patted his face, sighed, stood up in the moonlight, closed the curtains in the room, covered himself with a quilt and fell asleep.

the other side of the city.

Chen Jinzhi saw off Quan Enyan, who was rushing to Shanghai to attend an event, and returned home.

There was no surprise, because Wan Gui was subjected to a barrage of insults.

Chen Jinzhi seemed to have not heard anything, and quietly cleaned up the mess in the house as he had done countless times in the past.

Ever since that man left home, Auntie's temper has become even more irritable.

She was probably worried that she would be left in such an unfamiliar foreign country, so she vented her anxiety on the only familiar person she could see.

Actually understandable.

Chen Jinzhi leaned on the shaky window sill, raised his eyes and looked at the moon behind the clouds.

Tonight was supposed to be a joyful night. She saw relatives whom she hadn't seen for a long time and introduced her to the boy she liked.

Su Chengyi seemed to be the type who was afraid of trouble, but he still accompanied them around the school.

Quan Enyan praised her for her good taste and said that if Ernie wanted to fall in love, she must be with a boy like this. It was a perfect match and she very much agreed with the marriage.

It would have been nice if I didn't end up going to the playground.

If you don't go to the playground, you won't be able to see the long row of white walls, and you won't be able to see the signatures of this year's senior students written on them.

You can't see the three words "Chu Qingmian" carefully signed under "Su Chengyi" written in cyan pen.

These three small characters were squeezed into the middle blank space with great difficulty, and they were obviously added later.

Quan Enyan didn't know Chinese characters, and Su Chengyi looked away awkwardly after seeing "Su Chengyi's father".

So probably only I noticed such details.

There are many types of likes. There is only one type that will search a whole wall full of names just to sign them together.

In other words, he and she are of the same species.

Looking at the moonlight frozen on his fingertips, Chen Jinzhi suddenly sighed almost inaudibly.

The reason why she understood "like" to be a fantasy was because she felt that there were too many insurmountable gaps between the two of them.

People like Su Chengyi will have an extremely smooth and bright future, but her life is still a mess, and nothing is real.

Chen Jinzhi originally knew the truth that a wise man never falls in love, but he didn't know where the love started, and it only went deeper and deeper. Now it's too late to get out.

So no matter what lies ahead, she will never give up.

After clarifying his feelings again, Chen Jinzhi took one last look at the bright moon hanging in the night sky, gently closed his eyes, and wished that the people on the other side of the city could have a good dream tonight.

As soon as the bell rang clearing the night, several people had the same dream but different lives.

　Unable to sleep, I got up and coded another chapter.
　　
　
(End of this chapter)