I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 356 Those murmurs carried by the flowing clouds
After sitting in front of Xu Zhihan's grave for a while, the sun was no longer as bright and dazzling as before, but it struggled out from the gradually accumulating clouds, still carrying a gentle warmth.

Su Chengyi's eyes passed over the tombstones one by one. As time passed, many stone monuments were eroded by wind and frost, and even the names of their owners became blurred.

"Shu Wang"

Su Chengyi stopped and looked at the two words that had obviously been wiped and touched repeatedly.

This is a very nice name, with a gentle and soft temperament.

Although there was no photo attached to the monument, Su Chengyi felt that she could almost imagine what she looked like.

After all, Chen Jinzhi said that she looks more like her mother.

From this point of view, Chen Jinzhi's name was probably given by his mother.

Jinse has no end in fifty strings, a string of thoughts and a string of years.

Before the college entrance examination, Su Chengyi was brought here by Chen Jinzhi.

The feeling was really shocking, like someone in the movie walked through the screen. "

Chen Jinzhi must have made a lot of determination to take him to Shu Wang's tomb.

Su Chengyi said, because this world is not so good that people don't want to leave, nor is it so bad that people want to leave immediately. She has seen enough of the bad in this world, but she still hopes that you can see the good that she has not seen.

The flickering firelight blew over his fingers in the wind. They should be hot, but he didn't know it.

She is the much-anticipated and dazzling star Iris. I am just an ordinary wage earner. I only see her giant posters when I pass by the big LED screen in the shopping mall during the breaks. "

She said that every time she wanted to talk to her mother, she felt she couldn't hold on anymore and wanted to give up.

Su Chengyi always felt that this was the time to meet his parents.

That's why after being reborn, I recognized her immediately.

Yun thinks of clothes and flowers, but that's all.

"I don't know if she has ever mentioned me to you. We met after she transferred to No. 1 Middle School."

Su Chengyi really had some murderous intention towards Chen Wende at that time. After all, this man really deserved to die, and it is difficult for people to consider the consequences when they are emotionally overwhelmed.

In the end, she took the path of debut.

The road for domestic girl group idols is very difficult, with many obstacles and prejudices, but the emergence of Chen Jinzhi successfully broke the doubts. "

“My plan was not thorough enough and I failed to protect her.

When chatting with someone who has passed away, there seems to be no need to hide anything?
"In fact, I had met her before I was reborn. But at that time, we were just passers-by and big stars.

If death is a bad thing, then why would you make this choice. If death is a good thing, then why don't you take me with you.

She is really great and is now a well-known and popular traffic.

Having said this, Su Chengyi paused slightly.

"I don't know if it was because I was so shocked by the incident of a big star falling from the sky that it aroused your daughter's curiosity. In short, she started to get close to me inexplicably like she was studying alien creatures."

The subsequent meeting with Chen Wende was of course not included.

Then Chen Jinzhi said that she saw it, so she brought him here to let her mother see it too.

It’s hard work every day, but fortunately the results are good.

Unwrapping the plastic wrap of another stack of paper money, Su Chengyi looked down at the red and green numbers swept by the flames, coughed, and said awkwardly:

In that timeline, Su Chengyi clocked in to work in an office building, typing complicated codes day after day; Chen Jinzhi held a concert tour on the other side of the world with a time difference of more than ten hours, surrounded by thousands of people.

"A lot of things happened after that."

The moonlight was clear and her smile was gentle.

Su Chengyi thought about the advertiser's slogan on the big screen, "Iris's choice is trustworthy!" and felt a little want to laugh for a moment.

Su Chengyi was silent for a long time, forcibly blocking his thoughts.

However, I don’t know how she will feel at that time, and I can’t understand it anyway.

Fortunately, the last bit of reason in his mind reminded him that finding Chen Jinzhi was the most important thing.

"Auntie, you don't know, she was really famous at that time. I am an otaku who never pays attention to entertainment news, but she is too famous.

Su Chengyi suppressed his mood, squatted down and inserted the candle into the soil.

"Hello, Aunt Shu. My name is Su Chengyi, and I am Chen Jinzhi's boyfriend."

Fortunately, she was fine. Looking back now, I still feel a little scared.

Even though he knew there was no response, he felt extremely nervous, as if he was really being scrutinized by his mother-in-law.

Looking back now, the first time I saw Chen Jinzhi, I still felt like my heart skipped a beat.

“Now she is not only an idol, but also a female singer. There are two songs of hers on the new song list.

The weather is so nice, I don’t want to mention scum.

She knelt here and asked her relatives underground the question she had thought about countless times:

After all, when she came for Xu Zhihan, she didn't give any hint that her mother was buried here.

At that time, the two of them probably could not have imagined that they would interact with such a distant person.

Everyone is wondering why she trained in South Korea but did not suffer from many of the problems of South Korean assembly line artists.

Many music critics say that her singing is very tasteful, with a Chinese-style charm, which is very rare.

But I know it's because you taught her to sing Huangmei Opera. "

"Recently she received an invitation to her first variety show in her life and is preparing for it.

So I came to see you on her behalf and talk to you.

Auntie, I know that the entertainment industry is deep and there are opportunities everywhere, but there are also traps everywhere.

But don't worry, I will definitely protect her. "

"She will definitely get better and better in the future, Auntie, you and I both know that."

Su Chengyi lit the last stack of paper money and coughed due to the smoke.

After talking so much, he suddenly felt a little tired, so he sat down on the spot.

Let the burning ashes fly like snow and fall on his knees and shoulders.

The sunlight warmed the ironing of his black woolen coat. Su Chengyi lowered his head to fasten the buttons on the cuffs and then unbutton them again.

After a long while, he took out a bouquet of flowers from his pocket and carefully placed it in front of the monument.

White carnations, the packaging is very simple.

——Because he pierced it with his own hands.

The academic master named Su, who was confident in learning any technique, finally gave up on hand-made origami after wasting several sheets of colored paper.

He looked at the bouquet and finally cut off the packaging part when taking the photo.

After sending the photo to Chen Jin, her status quickly changed to "the other party is typing", but no information was sent.

Su Chengyi was not in a hurry. He looked up at the clouds floating over the mountains. The sky and clouds were blue and white, which was the color of the No. 1 Middle School uniform.

Chen Jinzhi has some ingenuity and is able to match the school uniforms and look good without violating school rules and disciplines.

On those days when Su Chengyi skipped class and went to the rooftop to catch up on some sleep, when Su Chengyi woke up and opened her eyes, she could always be seen leaning against the railing in a daze.

Her figure was thin, as if she was about to blend into the scenery behind her at any time, giving her a vague sense of unreality.

Whenever such strange thoughts come up, Su Chengyi will sit up or cough.

Until she turned around and asked him with a smile, "Are you awake?", he would nod and pretend to have just woken up.

Pretending not to stare at her back for a long time. The sky today looks like it did in those days that will never come back.

The phone vibrated, but it was not a message but a call.

Su Chengyi picked up the call and said nothing.

It was quiet on the other side of the receiver, except for her gentle breathing.

After a long time, she finally spoke slowly.

"Why did you remember to go here?"

"Tang'an has always had this custom during the Chinese New Year. You don't have time, so I'll do it."

Su Chengyi spoke in a relaxed tone, suppressing the low and sad emotions just now.

He didn't know Shu Wang, and the reason why he had these emotions was because he liked Chen Jinzhi, so just thinking about it from her perspective would make him feel sad from the bottom of his heart.

Chen Jinzhi was quiet for a few seconds and suddenly sighed softly.

"Thank you."

Su Chengyi originally wanted to say, "No, no, no," and "Tell me more," but after thinking about it, he said "hmm" instead.

Chen Jinzhi was originally very busy today. She owed a lot of commercial shooting, and the group's new song was in a hurry. She was busy rehearsing the stage moves, and spent last night in the practice room.

When she felt a dull pain in her stomach, she suddenly remembered that she had not eaten all day.

If someone knew about it, he would be angry again.

This person always thinks that his anger is very hidden, but in fact it is easy to guess.

Unlike the mature and steady person he imagined himself to be, Chen Jinzhi knew very well that he was actually a stingy and childish guy.

She will get angry if she doesn't eat well, and she will get angry when a marketing account casually pulls CP for her.

The most important thing is that when you are angry, you will definitely say no.

Chen Jinzhi couldn't help but raise the corners of his mouth as he thought about it.

Seeing such a smile, the hurried staff next to him were stunned and stopped in their tracks: Oh my God, how can our small and broken company sign a beauty of this level? !

Only by thinking of Su Chengyi, Chen Jinzhi could briefly escape from the tiring work, like a sudden burst of bright color in a black-and-white silent film.

The staff packed the salad, and she avoided the sweet dressing and poked a piece of cauliflower into her mouth.

Then he took a photo in time and prepared to send it to Su Chengyi.

This is evidence that she eats well.

Unexpectedly, I saw the message he sent first.

A bouquet of carnations lay quietly in front of the monument, and she recognized this extremely familiar location almost immediately.

In the years since he left Tang'an and went to South Korea, Chen Jinzhi was unable to go to the cemetery to complete such a tradition.

In a strange country, with different habits of food, clothing, housing and transportation, I learned a new language syllable by syllable.

No matter how much vulnerability and longing there is, there is nowhere to vent it.

So after returning to China, the first thing Chen Jinzhi did was go here.

I originally thought I would have a lot to say, but after all, my four-year career as a trainee was all in vain.

But at that time, as she stood in front of the monument, she suddenly felt that there was nothing to feel wronged about.

After all, I returned to my hometown, heard the familiar accent, and got closer to my only relative in the world.

After meeting Su Chengyi, this feeling became even stronger.

In the initial interaction between the two of them, she still held curiosity, kept a safe distance, and wore the mask she was accustomed to.

Since when did she realize that she couldn't get away?

Chen Jinzhi thought that it probably started from the time when she reflected on herself in front of Shu Wang's monument.

At that time she said:
"Mom, ever since you left, I have often wondered, if I could go back in time, what method should I use to save you?"

"If I can prevent everything that happened later, even if it changes the trajectory of the future, even if everything I have now disappears, even if I never appear in this world, I will do it."

"But recently, I suddenly started to waver."

"Because I met someone I like very much. I can't help but wonder, if I go back in time, will it change the process? Will it erase my encounter with him?
Thinking of this, I suddenly became afraid. "

"Mom, after so many years, in this timeline when you left me, I finally experienced some emotions like happiness for the first time in a long time.

Sometimes I wonder if his appearance will be another fantasy of mine, just like the scene I have imagined countless times if you are still here. "

"Fortunately, he does seem to be real. Now I kind of believe what you said. The world may not be that bad."

"Mom, I hope you can forgive me for being selfish.

It would be great if you could give me a little more blessing. "

Chen Jinzhi once put his hands together and had such a monologue in front of his mother's monument.

But now someone came here and gently placed a bouquet of flowers for her.

It seems that I tied it myself. The piece of wrapping paper accidentally exposed at the bottom of the picture is crumpled, which is obviously not the work of a florist.

Chen Jinzhi's fingers holding the phone unconsciously exerted force, causing his fingertips to turn slightly white.

"Ahem, you don't have to think too much. I happened to remember this, so I came over to take a look."

Perhaps feeling that her silence was unusually long, Su Chengyi cleared his throat and spoke.

"After some time, during the Qingming Festival, let's see if you can make time, and we'll come over again."

"Teacher Su."

Chen Jinzhi's voice was very soft, like a floating cloud.

"Ok?"

Su Chengyi responded subconsciously.

"Thank you."

Chen Jinzhi's voice had a gentler smile than before.

Su Chengyi was slightly startled when he heard this, and could only say "Yeah" again.

"Mom would like you very much if she could see you. She used to praise an actor who has a temperament very similar to yours."

Chen Jinzhi continued to speak, his voice rising at the end, and he seemed to be in a good mood.

Su Chengyi could imagine the crooked look on her eyebrows, but he felt something was wrong.

It sounded like she was laughing, but for some reason she felt her eyes were red.

"If I can see you, and it's just in time, she will give you glutinous rice balls stuffed with sweet-scented osmanthus."

On the other side of the receiver, Chen Jinzhi's voice became weaker and weaker, until it was blurry and could no longer be heard clearly.

Su Chengyi pressed the speakerphone and heard her words that were so weak that they seemed like she was mumbling in her sleep - "I miss you so much."

And very, very quiet, muffled sobs.

Su Chengyi just listened silently. He knew that he didn't have to do anything at this time, just stay with her quietly.

He looked at the burned paper money, and the green smoke rose up from the ashes and drifted away in an instant.

The green smoke carries silent thoughts, and the flowing clouds also convey unfinished murmurs.

(End of this chapter)