I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 481 But I Don’t Like It

Su Chengyi held a green bowl of cake and walked with Liang Nina to the street light on the other side.

In fact, they were not far away. He could feel that the two people on the tricycle were eating and watching the show at the same time.

Liang Nina lowered her head and turned the lavender bowl cake in her hand around.

"This should be delicious. I ate it often when I was a kid."

Su Chengyi tried to make conversation while taking a bite of the bowl of cake.

The one in his hand is cantaloupe flavored, with a crystal clear appearance, soft and cool taste, and a light fruity aroma. It is very suitable for eating on a summer night like this.

Nina Liang said “hmm” and took a bite imitating him.

"Everything that the senior likes is delicious."

Although the small bite she took hardly caused any damage to the bowl cake, she still said this with certainty.

"How do you know what I like?"

Su Chengyi raised his eyebrows.

"When I went to the cafeteria to get food, I always followed behind and ate whatever the seniors ate."

Nina Liang laughed, not realizing that this behavior seemed a little wrong.

This guy.

Su Chengyi coughed and decided not to ask her such questions again, as it would only make himself uncomfortable.

Although he was used to Nina Liang "following" and "spying" on things about him, his reaction was just to ignore and disregard it, which did not mean that he could really accept it calmly.

"What's the flavor of your bowl cake?"

Su Chengyi simply continued to make small talk.

“Grape is my favorite flavor.”

"Is it such a coincidence?"

Su Chengyi just took it casually from the bag, otherwise he would definitely pick a strawberry for himself.

"Ah."

Liang Nina nodded, and then continued:

"I didn't have a favorite flavor before, but now my favorite is grape flavor because it was given to me by my senior."

"."

Su Chengyi felt like he had been talked to death again today.

After a long silence, Su Chengyi glanced lightly at Liang Nina's loose sleeves.

Because she was about to threaten Chocolate and because she unbuttoned her cuffs when she took the admission letter, a piece of skin on her wrist was vaguely exposed.

Su Chengyi had always wondered why she always wore long sleeves no matter what the season was.

If it's because of conservative reasons, but she often wears very short skirts to look good.

Now I know, because there are some densely packed scars hidden there.

It was obviously caused by humans, the wounds were regular and of consistent depth.

Su Chengyi sighed imperceptibly, which was why he called her aside to chat.

Otherwise, with Chocolate's straightforward mind, he would definitely ask directly if he saw it.

Through such scars, some problems can be clearly seen.

The most intuitive point is also very regrettable.

That is different from what Su Chengyi imagined. The problems that Liang Nina showed cannot be explained by "middle school syndrome", "puberty" or "everything will be fine when she grows up and matures".

She really has some psychological problems that need treatment, and she has been constantly hurting herself because of these psychological problems.

It is not an easy task to create a scar like that.

At least you have to ensure that the hand holding the knife can always remain steady, and to do this, you need to be able to endure all the pain you cause.

Su Cheng thought that he might be able to do this as well.

In this respect, they are even somewhat similar.

But Su Chengyi would not create unnecessary pain for no reason, just to hurt himself.

Why did Liang Nina commit such self-harming behavior?

Su Chengyi was thinking this when he heard the person next to him suddenly say:

"Senior, I am very happy."

Nina Liang lowered her head and looked intently at the shadow on the ground.

Su Chengyi followed her gaze and discovered that the bowl-shaped cake in his hand was made into the shapes of different animals. Now, under the street light, a black shadow in the shape of a little bear was cast.

"You should be happy. You have made great progress."

Su Chengyi replied.

Nina Liang exhaled lightly and continued:
“Before the results came out, I was very nervous and scared and couldn’t sleep at all.

After seeing the score, I was relieved. But soon I started to worry again, is my score stable? What if it's not good enough? What if it's just a little bit off?

For this matter, I went to that kind of institution and asked all the teachers I could find. At the beginning, they also gave me serious advice on choosing a major.

Later, they realized that I just wanted to hear them say, "Oh, you will definitely pass the exam."

I kept hearing these words and didn't dare to think about what would happen if I failed.

So, I didn’t dare to come to see you until I received the admission letter.”

She lowered her eyes, looking unusually calm.

"I'm not as smart as the senior. Even if I try my best, I can only just see the back of the senior."

Hearing this, Su Chengyi cleared her throat and felt that she needed to correct her thoughts.

"What are you thinking about? Do you remember what your score was at this time last year? You are already very good now.

I have only been learning since I was a child, you don’t need to compare yourself with me.”

"Ah."

Not knowing what she was thinking of, Nina Liang laughed softly again.

"I have no talent for studying, but when it comes to liking seniors, I must be the most talented person in the world."

Su Chengyi paused, not knowing what to answer, so he had to bite the bowl of cake in his hand into his mouth.

"I will keep working hard for you, Senior. Today, I finally succeeded in accomplishing something."

Liang Nina turned around and looked intently at Su Chengyi's profile under the street light.

"So, senior, please look at me once in a while."

Her pupils looked very calm at this time, as if she was just making a very simple, harmless and humble request.

Of course, there were many more words that she hid in the shadows under the light.

Senior, I finally get to see you again.

Senior, you will never understand how much I love you.

Senior, why are there always so many people around you?

Senior, is it because of their existence that you don’t want to be with me?
Senior, what method can you use to only look at me?

Seniors, seniors, seniors, seniors, seniors, seniors, seniors, seniors, seniors.

Of course Su Chengyi could tell that something was not right with this guy.

She looked very focused, but actually she was more like in a daze, so she must be thinking about some random things in her mind.

It started again.

Su Chengyi bent his knuckles and tapped her head lightly, pulling her out of her wandering thoughts and all kinds of strange and dangerous ideas.

"Button your sleeves before you go back later."

Nina Liang was stunned for a moment, her expression instantly became flustered, and she covered her wrist evasively.

"Not this one."

"Ah."

Without waiting for her to make an excuse to cover up, Su Chengyi nodded to indicate that he had no intention of asking further questions.

"Congratulations, it seems you can keep the title of senior for a long time." Su Chengyi smiled and looked at the winding street lights in front of him.

"Do you need blessings for further studies?"

Liang Nina said "Hmm!", and after just a few words from Su Chengyi, the dark and strange aura on her body suddenly disappeared, and now she looked like a sweet and lovely high school girl.

"Happy graduation. I hope you can use the talent you have for liking me to like yourself."

Su Chengyi paused for a moment before continuing:
"The weather is so hot, I think you might want to wear short sleeves sometimes."

After hearing his words, Nina Liang was stunned for a long time before slowly loosening her hands covering her cuffs.

"Senior, do you think it's ugly?"

“It’s not a question of being ugly”

Su Chengyi thought about it, shook his head, but didn't know how to continue.

It's more abrupt than ugly.

Such a scar on the pale and thin wrist looked like a piece of broken exquisite white porcelain.

"It's best not to do things that hurt yourself like this again."

"But senior, when I was actually doing it, I couldn't remember that it was something that would hurt myself."

Nina Liang looked into his eyes with a serious look, and her tone was as if she was discussing a math finale problem.

"Compared to the extremely chaotic emotions, the pain is far from the most unbearable. Instead, it allows me to clearly realize that I am still alive."

She blinked and pulled up the sleeve of her shirt on her left hand.

In fact, it didn't look as exaggerated as Su Chengyi imagined. After that, she probably took some measures to remove the scars to make up for it.

But during the period between the college entrance examination and the score checking, her anxiety was too severe, so most of the injuries were new.

"Senior, I can't like myself because I know what a terrible person I am."

Liang Nina smiled. She probably rarely smiled on weekdays, so the movement of the corners of her mouth seemed a little forced.

"Actually, I know what the senior wants to say. It's written all over his face."

Su Chengyi raised his eyebrows, somewhat unconvinced.

"What do I want to say?"

“Senior wants to say, Nina Liang, why are you so ignorant? It’s not uncommon for children to be in the middle school for so long.

After studying hard and getting into college, you should look forward. You have survived such a difficult year in senior high school, and the most important thing is to enjoy your life as a female college student.

I know you've been through a lot of bad things in the past, but we can't live in the past forever. Now is a good opportunity to forget everything in the past.

The environment at Kyoto University is very good, and you will meet a lot of people there. When the time comes, you will realize that there are at least one million people in the world who are better than your seniors.

A beautiful and lovely girl like you, naturally there will be a lot of people who like you.

Of course, it would be better if my temper could be improved a little bit. But it’s hard to say, after all, many people are just fooled by this.”

Liang Nina imitated Su Chengyi's tone, which was as bland as water, and even his expression was very similar.

He was clearly speaking of great principles but had an unconvincing poker face, which was completely ridiculous.

If you don't really know him, you obviously can't imitate him to this extent.

Su Chengyi looked at her serious expression and found it a little hard to accept for a moment.

Did he always have this kind of expression when he was talking back at others? It was as if someone was pointing a gun at him from behind and telling him to recite his lines.

“You’re almost eighteen years old now, you need to learn to take care of yourself.

Also, think about it, if you don’t even have the ability to like yourself, how are you going to like others?

The relationship between us now is that of senior and junior, and will only be that of senior and junior in the future.

I can't give you any response because I don't have much emotions to begin with, and now I have given them to other people.

Oh yes, and two people at that. You can't expect me to like three people at the same time, I'm too busy."

"Okay, okay, stop it."

Su Chengyi quickly raised his hand to beg for mercy.

Liang Nina burst out laughing. After this performance, her mood seemed to be much better. She opened her mouth and took a bite of the bowl-shaped cake that she had been holding in her hand for a long time.

Su Chengyi sighed and had to take back all the profound principles he had prepared.

Liang Nina can direct and act by herself and restore what he wants to say, so it is naturally useless for him to recite those tight spells.

"Besides, with you as the third person, what about the fourth and fifth people?

You see, I can't just accept everything, can I? If you want to blame someone, blame it on you for not coming here first."

Liang Nina continued to mutter, she turned around with her hands behind her back and raised a faint smile.

"Senior, sometimes I think, if I had been braver in the past, I would have been the first person to appear beside you.

But if I could do it again, I'm afraid I still couldn't do it.

Because my senior said that if someone doesn’t like herself, there is no way to make others believe that she likes her.

So, it seems like this is the best outcome now.”

"Seniors are seniors, and juniors are juniors. That's not bad, right?"

Liang Nina's face showed that expression of stubbornly waiting for his answer again. Su Chengyi thought about it and then answered:
"Correct."

"It's okay, I can wait"

As Nina Liang was talking, her eyes lit up as if she thought of something happy.

"Besides, the senior may not be able to handle the two seniors, right?"

"Well, maybe."

Su Chengyi didn't know how to answer this question.

Liang Nina was obviously waiting for this answer, and she was waiting to enjoy the scene after the Shura Field explosion.

This is also the reason why she felt unhappy even when she saw Ye Ju, but was not aggressive towards the two people in the center of the Shura Field.

Because she clearly knows that the current beauty is only superficial, and collapse is only a matter of time.

In fact, everyone is like her and has nothing.

Su Chengyi looked at her expectant expression and inexplicably felt his hair stand on end.

"Button your sleeves and go back."

"Okay, Senior."

Liang Nina lowered her head obediently to fasten her cufflinks.

Su Chengyi looked at her obedient appearance with lowered brows and eyes, and finally couldn't help but started to recite the spell to tighten the hoop.

“College is really different from high school.”

"I know."

"You'll meet a lot of people who are better and more interesting than me."

Su Chengyi's words were genuine. In fact, it was difficult for him to find someone with a more boring and worse personality than him.

"The most important thing is that they won't reject you the same way I rejected you."

"Yes."

Liang Nina pretended to be bland and nodded frequently.

"Senior, you like to read Jin Yong, right? Have you read "White Horse Roars in the West Wind"?"

Su Chengyi didn't understand why she suddenly brought up this matter, and could only nod blankly.

"The White Horse Roars in the West Wind" is a short story that tells a simple story. Compared with Jin Yong's other works, it is inconspicuous.

Compared to the original work, the last paragraph of the whole article is probably more famous.

Su Chengyi recalled the description in the original work.

"There are willows, peach blossoms, swallows, and goldfish in the south of the Yangtze River. There are many handsome and brave young men, and dashing and unrestrained young men among the Han people. But this beautiful girl is as stubborn as the ancient Gaochang people."

Liang Nina turned around under the street light, the dim light made her expression obscure, but there was a smile in her tone.

"That's all very good, but I just don't like it."

(End of this chapter)