I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 485: The Lazy Review of Taking Flowers

Su Chengyi is Chen Jinzhi's first love.

Although she looks like a fishing god who knows the way of love, she actually has no experience in love at all.

But Chen Jinzhi is very good at observing people's words and expressions. Due to her growing environment, she developed the habit of observing humans since she was a child.

Having seen the worst side of people at a very young age, it becomes very difficult for you to build trust with anyone when you grow up, let alone develop love.

Therefore, Chen Jinzhi originally thought that things like "love" would have nothing to do with her in this life.

After all, what we see from our parents can be said to be the worst outcome for a marriage.

Although Su Chengyi's parents had a bad relationship, at least they were very good in the beginning and truly loved each other.

——Although both of them would probably deny it at this moment and call this relationship their black history.

But for Shu Wang and Chen Wende, there is no such thing as "love" at all.

It was just a "scam" from beginning to end.

Shu Wang's background is somewhat similar to Yang Liu's. He comes from a family of scholars, his parents are both civil servants, and his conditions are pretty good.

But their education of Shu Wang was a very old-fashioned "little jade" model, and they protected her too well.

So after both of them passed away in an accident, Shu Wang was very confused and had no idea how to live alone.

It was at this time that Chen Wende appeared. He easily won Shu Wang's trust by playing the role of a capable savior with his own ideas.

From Chen Jinzhi's current perspective, of course he can see at a glance that he is only after the property, but for Shu Wang at that time, it was like grabbing a life-saving straw.

After the two got married, Chen Wende began to show his true colors, becoming an alcoholic and moody.

But Shu Wang naively accepted all of Chen Wende's bad habits. She subconsciously felt that love and tolerance might make people better, and she also thought that the birth of a child would make him take on responsibilities.

But this obviously didn't work. People like Chen Wende never knew what responsibility was. He became addicted to gambling and started domestic violence and mental control that lasted for many years.

After squandering all the inheritance left by Shu Wang's parents, he decisively abandoned his wife and daughter and ran away.

Chen Jinzhi sometimes found it ridiculous that what ultimately broke Shu Wang was not his long-term abuse but his departure.

Shouldn't we regard the departure of such a lackey as an opportunity to start a new life?
Later, she learned that there is a mental illness called "Stockholm syndrome".

The psychological analysis is this: hostages encounter a cruel and tyrannical killer who is violent and can take their lives at any time. Over time, hostages will unknowingly hand over their lives to the killer.

From then on, the hostages will believe that their right to eat, drink, and even breathe comes from the kindness and charity of the murderer.

In this process, the hostages' feelings towards the murderer will also change from initial fear to gratitude.

Finally, it becomes dependent.

Chen Jinzhi believed that Shu Wang's feelings for Chen Wende might be so morbid that she never said she hated him until she committed suicide.

If so-called marriage and love were such a thing, Chen Jinzhi felt sick and nauseous.

She would never fall in love with such a person. Even if Stockholm syndrome really caught up with her, she would only choose to drag the other person to death with her.

With this thought in mind, Chen Jinzhi grew up day by day.

As she grew older, she became more dazzling and outstanding. People who saw her for the first time no longer blurted out "cute" but "beautiful".

As such, she will naturally have many suitors.

Chen Jinzhi maintained outward politeness and rejected everyone politely.

"Thank you for your kindness, but I have no plans to fall in love at the moment."

"I'm sorry, you're a nice person, but I don't have any thoughts about you in that way."

"Excuse me."

"I am so sorry."

"."

In fact, she was disgusted by such pursuits. Every time she met someone, she couldn't help but think of Chen Wende's horrible face.

But Chen Jinzhi also knew that this was her own psychological problem. Perhaps other people's love for her was just out of sincerity, so she barely maintained this superficial harmony.

But based on what she said in her heart, she simply couldn't trust anyone.

Miss Chen Jinzhi, a woman like an eagle, ruthless and heartless, with a heart as hard as cement, originally firmly believed that she would stay in this state for the rest of her long life.

Until she met Su Chengyi.

At a moment when she was absolutely confused about the future, she encountered the most significant turning point in her life.

Chen Jinzhi thought that if he wanted to describe such an encounter, it would be easy to make it sound cheesy.

But this is indeed the case, as Zhang Ailing said:
"Meet the person you are destined to meet among thousands of people.

In the endless wilderness of time, there is neither a step earlier nor a step later. "

Chen Jinzhi has never set an ideal type for herself, but there is such a person who makes you feel that you like everything about him.

It's as if he was born to be your entire ideal, and you were born to wait for his appearance.

It was only now that Chen Jinzhi would awkwardly retract her feelings of “disappointment” with her mother.

Sorry, mom, I seem to have inherited the part you least wanted me to inherit.

Perhaps it is because he inherited the love brain that Chen Jinzhi can be so keenly aware of those undercurrents of emotion.

Whether it was the moment when his "curiosity" towards Su Chengyi turned into "love", or the secret love that the quiet girl across the table inadvertently revealed at this moment.

Too obvious.

Chen Jinzhi couldn't help but think.

But perhaps it is normal that other people cannot see it. Only she who feels the same way can see it clearly.

No matter whether it is the restrained and joyful smile on the corners of her mouth, or those moments when she lowers her eyes and is absent-minded, what is revealed is only one thing clearly - I like you so much.

There is a saying that goes, you can’t hide your love for someone. Even if you cover your mouth, it will still show through your eyes.

Maybe Lin Zhiwan can't speak, so her eyes can express more emotions.

It seemed that she had tried very hard to cover it up, but she encountered Chen Jinzhi, a bug with the built-in "see-through" skill.

Chen Jinzhi clenched his chopsticks, poked the rice in the bowl, and laughed for a moment.

Facts have proved that even if you are a blockhead in relationships, you can still have such a strong luck in love.

But this piece of wood himself is still in the dark, and people can't find any reason to be angry with him.

Really.

Although Su Chengyi felt a little guilty when he was glanced at by Chen Jinzhi with meaningful eyes, it did not affect his appetite.

Lin Zhiwan's cooking skills are really amazing. Even though there is an unreliable assistant named Yang Liu helping out beside her, which slightly affects the appearance of the food, the taste is still top-notch.

He felt like he hadn't eaten such a big bowl of rice in a long time.

While Su Chengyi was enjoying his meal, Yang Liu and Chen Jinzhi chatted naturally, mostly about interesting things from his childhood. Yang Liu was smiling and happy when she talked about these things.

Children like Su Chengyi are very easy to raise. Not only will they not cause trouble, they will also not pester their parents to play with them.

Just throw him a book and he will read it for the whole afternoon.

And it looks pretty cute. Such a cub pretending to be cool and putting on a poker face does not make people feel annoying, but only funny.

But as he spoke, Yang Liu began to feel a little emotional again.

"Jinzhi, do you think it's because Auntie let him do what he wanted that he became such a sullen person?"

He can get rid of the children with just an obscure book that he himself cannot understand. Then Yang Liu can take the opportunity to lie on the bed and watch soap operas leisurely, while Su Zelang can go out and drink beer and eat barbecue with his brothers at ease.

As parents, neither of them considered whether their child would be too bored if he just read books all day, whether he would be unable to make friends, or whether he would grow up to be a nerd.

"Oh my, you don't know, I was really afraid that he wouldn't be able to find a girlfriend in the future with his personality."

The thought of Yang Liu made him feel a little scared. He put down his chopsticks and rubbed his chest.

Chen Jinzhi smiled when he heard that, and his eyes lightly swept over the top of Su Chengyi's head as he was concentrating on eating rice.

"No, Auntie, you may not know this, but Su Chengyi is very popular with women."

"puff."

Su Chengyi almost choked on his food and looked up at her in confusion.

Chen Jinzhi gave him a slightly teasing look in return.

"Ah? Is this true? Do all the young girls nowadays like this style? Oh, I am really old and I don't understand the current fashion."

Yang Liu dropped her chopsticks in high spirits, feeling angry from listening to the gossip.

But she soon realized another problem, that is, Chen Jinzhi also liked girls like him, so she quickly changed the subject.

"No, no. Xiaoyi, you have a real girlfriend now, so it won't work if you have good relationships with women.

Don't learn your father's ways! Mom will tell you the truth, a man like him is lucky to have met a kind ex-wife like me. If it were someone else, all his bad deeds would have been exposed long ago! Let's see how he can survive in society!"

When Su Zelang was mentioned, Yang Liu gritted her teeth, full of hatred.

Su Chengyi couldn't help but think that when it comes to love, hatred lasts longer than love.

Although both of them have new families now, they are always indignant when they mention each other, and they both feel that the other has let them down.

Maybe when they both go to a nursing home, when they both have only a few teeth and can't walk, they will still fight each other with crutches.

However, speaking of popularity with women, if it were in his previous life, Su Chengyi would never have thought that he would be evaluated as "very popular with women".

In his previous life, there were girls who were attracted to his deceptive face, but unfortunately, when they just asked for his WeChat, he ran away as quickly as if he had seen a ghost in broad daylight.

Even if someone really wants to develop a relationship with him, there is no chance at all.

But Su Chengyi thought that this was not the point, because even if he mustered up the courage to insist on getting along with the other party, the final result would be tragic.

Within three days at most, the unlucky girl will be forced to run away because of his personality, and will learn her lesson from it - Mom, I will never be a face-chaser again.

Su Chengyi doesn’t think he is that handsome, but at least the genes are there.

Yang Liu is a well-known beauty. Su Zelang was also very handsome when he was young, and he also has the temperament of a literary and artistic rock youth.

So, when it comes to being popular with girls, it’s useless to just rely on a good-looking face.

Su Chengyi thought about it and realized that although it seemed that his luck with women was indeed quite good now, most people should just serve as a mood-setter.

Up to now, the only people who have had the most in-depth contact with him, besides Chu Qingmian and Chen Jinzhi, is Liang Nina.

Ever since Liang Nina said seriously last time, "That's all very good, but I just don't like it," Su Chengyi finally accepted the reality that Liang Nina really liked him.

It's not a childish mentality, nor is it gratitude, it's just love.

But Su Chengyi still clearly chose to refuse. He felt that he was emotionally indifferent and was definitely not the modern version of Duan Zhengchun.

Although Duan Zhengchun is affectionate everywhere, he truly loves every woman he meets. He is a contradictory character who is both passionate and infatuated.

Su Chengyi felt that he probably couldn't do that. It was already an accident that he fell in love with two people at the same time. How could he divide his heart with a third person?

Even if there are three thousand rivers of water, I only take two scoops of water to drink.

Su Chengyi calmed himself down and suddenly reached out and held Chen Jinzhi's wrist.

Although both of their hands were hidden under the table, Chen Jinzhi was still startled and turned his head to look at him.

"Take this flower bush and look back lazily, half destined to practice Taoism and half destined to be you."

Su Chengyi looked into her eyes and said with a smile.

I walk freely among the flowers but am too lazy to look back, partly because I am devoted to practicing Taoism and partly because of your presence.

Chen Jinzhi knew the meaning of this poem clearly. She pursed her lips slightly and let her eyelashes droop down like a curtain to cover her wandering eyes.

"Oh my, this child is teachable. This child is teachable."

Yang Liu smiled with great relief, and couldn't help but sigh that God had a good vision and her son did not inherit his unreliable father's playboy genes.

"Wanwan, we wrote this poem last time, right? Do you still remember it?"

Yang Liu took Lin Zhiwan's hand and asked with a smile.

Some time ago, Lin Zhiwan started practicing writing in her spare time.

She can recognize most of the commonly used characters, but her handwriting is not good and there are often typos.

Now that I don’t have to do hard labor, I’m trying to improve my cultural level in my free time.

When Yang Liu was young, he was an artistic youth who loved reading and writing poetry, so of course he was happy to help. Lin Zhiwan has learned many ancient poems recently.

Among them is Yuan Zhen’s “Five Poems of Separation, No. 4”.

Lin Zhiwan, who had been silent for a long time, looked up blankly at this moment. She looked a little distraught, but it was fleeting.

Compared to the second two lines, "I'm too lazy to look back at the flowers, half because of my cultivation and half because of you", the first two lines are more widely known.

"once having seen the best, the rest is not worthwhile looking."

Lin Zhiwan silently recited this poem in her heart.

She didn't know what her voice sounded like, so what she recalled in her mind at this moment was the ups and downs of Yang Liu's voice.

After experiencing the magnificent sea, the water anywhere else is no longer worth seeing.

Once you have been intoxicated by the dreamy scenery of clouds and rain in Wushan, the scenery elsewhere will no longer be called clouds and rain.

Lin Zhiwan curved her eyes and smiled, and after a while, she nodded gently.

She remembered.

(End of this chapter)