I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 506 A good match

Chapter 506 A good match
"Ding ding."

The sound of Su Chengyi knocking on the cup sounded very much like the voice-over of the protagonist in some anime when he suddenly had an idea.

"If you put it that way, I'll remember."

"Ok?"

Chen Jinzhi didn't understand.

"When was the first time I consciously felt attracted to you?"

Su Chengyi also added a prerequisite to this sentence, that is, "conscious".

Because there are no restrictions on the heartbeat, no one can tell exactly when it started, but the first point when one clearly realized it can still be confirmed.

Chen Jinzhi blinked, revealing a somewhat inquiring look.

Although she didn't say anything, her expression showed that she was very curious about it.

"——Ahem."

When the words came to his lips, Su Chengyi paused and coughed twice in embarrassment.

He was sure that this must be a secret that even Chen Jinzhi could not guess.

It takes a lot of courage to say such brazen words under the nose of this thousand-year-old fox.

"Do you remember the day you and Jeon Eun-yeon came to visit No. 1 Middle School together?"

".Remember."

Chen Jinzhi frowned slightly.

For some reason, she had a bad feeling.

"That day, when you introduced me to her, you spoke Korean, which I didn't understand."

Su Chengyi rolled up a circle of pasta with a fork to pretend nothing had happened.

"But I had a recorder in my pocket and accidentally pressed the record button."

"After I got home, I realized that your conversation was also recorded. I was really curious, so I used the voice function of the translation software to translate it."

"Jeon Eun-yeon asked me who I was, and your answer was"

Before Su Chengyi could finish his words, Chen Jinzhi on the opposite side raised his hand to stop him from speaking.

"Okay! I remember now."

She seemed unusually embarrassed, and after a while, she covered her eyes and sighed softly.

This was indeed something she had not expected.

Of course she remembered, her answer at the time was: "It's the person I like, my future boyfriend."

But the reason why Chen Jinzhi answered like that at that time was simply because he took advantage of the fact that Su Chengyi didn't understand.

And she also carefully considered that this is a whole sentence, not a short word, so the method of remembering the pronunciation and then going back to repeat the translation would not work.

Even Chen Jinzhi, who was extremely resourceful, could not have imagined that the other party had a recorder on him.

He just "accidentally" pressed the recording button, and the timing was just right to record that conversation. And this person's curiosity was so strong that he used translation software to translate it on the spot.

What a shame.

Chen Jinzhi began to feel that this was a Waterloo in her life.

"It's nothing, actually."

Su Chengyi looked at her red ears and continued:
"I didn't know whether you were serious at the time. I thought maybe it was just a joke between friends or something like that, or maybe it was just a custom over there."

".Where would such a strange custom exist?"

Chen Jinzhi couldn't help but complain.

Su Chengyi spread his hands.

"But anyway, my heart was moved for a second."

He can still recall that feeling now, staring at the text on the screen and translating it word by word, feeling unbelievable but with his heart beating faster.

"Just one second? That was a disguised confession of my love."

Chen Jinzhi raised his eyes and looked at him.

"Although what you said is true, its authenticity is questionable. You liked to tease me whenever you had the chance."

As Su Chengyi complained, he poked a piece of the cut Wagyu beef in the bowl onto her plate.

"That was all a joke to show my sincerity."

Chen Jinzhi lowered his head and looked at the food that had piled up into a small mountain in front of him.

"I didn't believe a single punctuation mark at first."

Su Chengyi said.

I thought Chen Jinzhi would refute, but unexpectedly she just smiled and nodded.

"Well, I know you don't believe a single punctuation mark, so I feel so relaxed when I say these words."

Chen Jinzhi didn't finish all the food on the plate in the end, but Su Chengyi could see that she had tried very hard, so she became the "Clean Plate" tonight.

The waiter placed the dessert on the coffee table on the balcony, and the two leaned against the railing, enjoying the evening breeze.

The Oriental Pearl Tower stands tall as the most eye-catching landmark, surrounded by high-rise buildings and magical neon lights flashing on the LED screens.

Only when you are actually in this city can you understand why it is called the "Magic City".

Countless people came here with hope, some got the life they wanted, but more left with regrets and scars.

Behind every light, there is a world that you cannot understand clearly.

The night view of Shanghai is not unfamiliar to both of them. Chen Jinzhi's recent work has been in Shanghai, while Su Chengyi still retains many memories from his previous life.

He looked towards the southeast, where he saw a group of buildings where every inch of land was valuable. His home in his previous life was located there.

At this time, if he was not working overtime, he should be standing on the balcony in a daze, just like now, except that there is one more person next to him.

For countless nights in his previous life, he watched the change of day and night in silence through the floor-to-ceiling window.

Looking down from a height of dozens of floors, the endless stream of vehicles looks like an orderly swarm of ants, and the lights of thousands of homes in the night look like floating fireflies.

Su Chengyi withdrew his gaze from the distance and turned to look at Chen Jinzhi beside him.

There was no expression on her face at the moment. She just leaned casually on the railing, her long hair blown by the night wind, making her look like she was shooting a movie poster.

Su Chengyi wanted to reach out and pull her inside a little, but he suddenly inexplicably doubted the sturdiness of the railing.

He was not afraid of heights, and he knew that the probability of something going wrong with the railing was about the same as the probability of a plane suddenly crashing into the building at this moment.

But when Chen Jinzhi stood in this marginal area with her long hair flying, it always made people's hearts hang in the air.

"Actually, the question I asked Teacher Su just now about love and pity is not important."

I don’t know if Chen Jinzhi noticed his nervous look, but he suddenly spoke.

"why?"

"Because, no matter what the answer is, I don't care that much."

Chen Jinzhi turned his head to look at him with a serious tone.

Su Chengyi frowned, trying to understand what she meant by saying this.

Chen Jinzhi seemed to have guessed that he would not understand, so he blinked and continued:
"Sometimes people ask questions with answers. If I had that kind of confidence and was truly sure that you loved me, I would probably say this now."

“Don’t pity me, don’t be with me just because you pity me.

Su Chengyi, I want you to love me, not pity me."

Su Chengyi's eyes flickered, and he said hesitantly:

"But, you mean if?"

"Yeah." Chen Jinzhi smiled gently, with twinkling lights reflected in his eyes.

“Because that’s just the blind confidence that comes from asking questions with answers.

Just like when I told Eun-yeon that this boy was the one I liked, it was just because at that time I thought you would never know what I said.

Just like I always said things that sounded frivolous to you, just because I knew you wouldn’t believe a single punctuation mark. "

She spoke these words in a calm tone, but Su Chengyi inexplicably felt a dull pain in his heart. He took a deep breath and continued to ask:
"So apart from this if, what are your real thoughts now?"

"Now."

Chen Jinzhi fell into a brief moment of thought, then gave a faint smile.

Su Chengyi wondered if she herself didn't realize how complicated this vague smile looked.

“I would probably say that.”

she said slowly.

"If you really just feel pity for me, then please have pity on me to the end."

"Don't feel sorry for others just because you see someone who is more pitiful."

When asking this question, Su Chengyi never expected Chen Jinzhi to give such an answer.

He instantly felt overwhelmed by guilt, as if he deserved to be hung on the pillar of shame and cut into pieces.

But he also suddenly understood the difference between love and pity.

When he learned of Lin Zhiwan's feelings, he also felt a similar sense of guilt.

Because I felt that she had met the wrong person, and that she was a very good girl who should not be let down by a man like him.

I also regret why I didn't realize this problem earlier. If I had, maybe there would have been a better way to stop the loss in time.

But it’s totally different from how it feels now.

In addition to the guilt, he also felt a real heartache.

Chen Jinzhi is now a big star surrounded by thousands of people. Her every move can attract countless attention, and public opinion and traffic are surging.

She seemed to be able to handle everything, and there seemed to be nothing in the world that could really knock her down.

Even if she is surrounded by enemies, she will never let go of her sword until her death.

Su Chengyi always felt that she was such a person.

But now that she was looking at him, she felt so fragile that she seemed like she would fall into the misty night behind her in the next second.

“I think love is richer because of differences.”

Su Chengyi reached out, held her fingers, and pulled her in a little.

"What do you mean?"

"To be honest, besides Sister Lin, I have come into contact with some other girls."

Su Chengyi scratched his hair, unsure whether it was the right thing to say at this time.

But this is the simplest and most effective way to prove what he just said.

In experimental research, this is called setting up a control group, and its purpose is to improve the ability to identify and the persuasiveness of the conclusions.

"Sister Lin is very nice, you've met her, you know she's very beautiful and gentle, but I can't develop any romantic feelings for her.

She had such a hard life in the first half of her life, so I sincerely hope that she can be happy in the rest of her life, and I will bear witness to this as a friend and a brother."

"There was a schoolgirl who claimed that she fell in love with me because I was the only one who voted for her in a voting event. I used to think that she was just having a chuunibyou attack, but now I kind of believe it.

She also had a lot of problems in her life, otherwise she wouldn't have become so paranoid and stubborn. But I am very grateful to her, because when she fell in love with me, my personality was much more withdrawn and weird than it is now.

So I also hope that she can live a good life in the future, and I am willing to be a good senior, but that's all."

After talking about these two people, Su Chengyi was a little stuck for a moment.

So, there are actually not many women around me!!!
But Chen Jinzhi listened very carefully, as if he was still waiting for his next words.

Su Chengyi had no choice but to cough and forced himself to continue:

"There is also a very neurotic girl. I often feel that I can't keep up with her jumping thoughts. I originally thought that she would grow up in a pampered environment, but it's not the case. Her family conditions are not good either.

She always keeps to herself at school, but seems to enjoy it. She is actually a very interesting girl.

A mutual friend of mine, a guy with glasses, told me that he suspected she was interested in me. I thought he was just making it up, but I also knew very clearly that she and I might be very good friends, but we would only be friends. ”

If Ye Ju heard him say this, she would probably raise her spatula - she recently worked part-time in a private chef, and she chased him eight thousand miles away and scolded him for being narcissistic.

"Well, besides that, there's an older sister who drives a Ferrari and often asks me if I'm interested in going for a ride with her."

This is the truth, but Jian Xiao probably treats him as a electronic pet. She would send him a WeChat message like this whenever she wants, and she doesn't care at all that he has read the message but not replied.

After some effort, Su Chengyi finally racked his brains to tell all his troubles.

Chen Jinzhi listened with great interest, a meaningful smile brewing in his peach blossom eyes.

These things were not new secrets to her, but it was still more surprising to hear Su Chengyi speak them out himself, stuttering and with a guilty look on his face.

It seems that even a piece of wood can be aware of these things to some extent.

Or maybe it was because she taught too well in person?
Now Su Chengyi really couldn’t think of anyone else who could perform here, and he finally breathed a sigh of relief.

"But you're different from all of them."

He changed the subject and spoke in a serious tone.

Chen Jinzhi was slightly stunned.

“Even though I know that other people have so-called ‘like’ feelings for me, I don’t feel like responding to them.

Because I don’t want to respond and want to escape, I will find many excuses for myself, such as they may not accept my personality, or I suspect that their love is fake and has a shelf life.
But in the end, I just don’t have a heartbeat, nor do I feel a sense of sympathy.”

“So I just said that love is deep because of differences.

Because you are a special person to me, I am still good at finding many excuses for my escape, but in the end, these excuses cannot convince me to give up my love for you.

When I hurt you, I not only feel sorry, but I also feel heartbroken.”

“But, I can’t seem to convince myself to give up on you sooner rather than later because I’m afraid of hurting you.

At the end of the day, I am a very selfish and sick person.”

Su Chengyi lowered his head, his fingers unconsciously hooked on the metal watch strap hanging on his wrist and pulled it hard.

Chen Jinzhi lowered his eyes to look at the obvious red marks on his wrists caused by this. This seemed to have become an unconscious habit for him when he felt nervous.

But despite this, his tone did not change at all because of the pain.

“Our lives are meant to be connected, no matter what, it has to be this way.

I hate the word "give up," especially when it's put in your face. "Death" sounds easier than anything else."

Chen Jinzhi thought that this person's mumbling sounded like a sorcerer chanting an evil spell, with a kind of calm deathly aura.

Although we knew a long time ago that he must have some psychological problems, it was still a bit surprising when such pathology really showed up.

But, how to say it?

She wasn't disgusted or afraid at all, or rather, she quite liked it.

"I'm sorry, but that's not fair to you."

After Su Chengyi came to his senses, he couldn't remember what he had said and just apologized subconsciously.

Chen Jinzhi lifted his wrist and gently brushed the red mark that looked somewhat shocking with his fingertips.

The next second, her eyebrows curved into a beautiful arc.

"That's fair."