Sanctuary Paradise

Chapter 617 Crying
abyss.

In this era devastated by the invasion of the abyss, whenever this word is mentioned, what comes to mind are bound to be all kinds of twisted and weird things, and the impression produced is bound to be disaster and despair.

Even the Dark Cult, which claims to believe in the Abyss, cannot help but feel fear and awe of the Abyss when faced with a wave of massive Abyssal creatures. Even a characteristic named "hope", as long as it is born in the Abyss, the result it brings is often only a distorted and morbid sense of despair.

However, theoretically speaking, despair and chaos can never be all the things born in the abyss. Since the most frightening thing about the abyss is its unpredictability, there should actually be infinite possibilities in the abyss.

In other words, in the abyss, there is actually a probability that something with characteristics that just fit the normal cognitive concept of "friendly" will be born. In other words, this itself is an experience of the "unknown" of the abyss.

But it's just in theory.

For the abyss full of distortions and unknowns, the difficulty of creating an abyss characteristic that has not been distorted, has not gone to extremes, and perfectly meets people's definition of friendliness is like randomly picking a coordinate in the vast and dark universe and just choosing a world, and this world happens to be suitable for living things to inhabit and survive.

Although there is a possibility of success in theory, it is like the probability of selecting a fixed number from a number line. Anyone with a normal brain knows that the probability of success is no different from zero.

Therefore, there are no abyss characteristics in this world that are friendly to creatures and civilizations born from orderly rules.

This is the tacit common sense in the astral world. No matter which scholar, no matter who has come into contact with the word abyss, when describing the characteristics of the abyss to those ignorant novices, they all say this without exception.

After all, such redundant descriptions will only make people less vigilant about the abyss than necessary. Compared to harboring unrealistic expectations of the abyss, it is obviously more appropriate to let future generations directly speculate about the things born in the abyss with the greatest malice.

however……

"Oh, in the end, I was taught a lesson by theory?"

In mid-air, Yamu looked at the White Saint in front of him and laughed, with an extremely complicated expression in his golden pupils.

Abnormal characteristics, love.

If he had heard about this trait directly, what would have come to his mind would have been all kinds of twisted and extreme abilities, rather than treating it as something truly friendly and kind.

But the fact is, the White Saint, who was born on the White Frontier, is truly harmless and has no twisted, extreme, or morbid characteristics. She loves the people of the White Frontier and everything in the White Kingdom with incomparable purity. Even the pure white power she uses does not have any actual destructive power or pollution, which is an extremely rare abyss characteristic of the lawful good camp.

"If you think about it carefully, it's really ironic. Or maybe... this is what they call 'the malice of the abyss'."

Yamu sighed, looked up at the slowly creeping black sky above his head, and a hint of coldness flowed across his pupils.

The civilization that was just one step away from its peak fell apart under the deception of "loyalty"; the "love" born from filth fell into despair in powerlessness and was infected with the disease of filth.

"But... even if that's the case, what's the point..."

A hoarse and weak female voice sounded, and the White Saint was seen sitting on the ground with her head lowered. Her hands that had turned into tentacles clenched unconsciously, and she choked slightly, and her dark tears kept dripping onto the sea of ​​flowers below.

"Everyone is dead. The world has been swallowed by filth, and I can only watch it happen. Even though filth is constantly being generated, I can't do anything about it."

The White Saint murmured, her body curled up unconsciously, and there was still no light in her dark red pupils.

Even though she knew the reason why Yamu held back, the tragedies she had witnessed over the past thousand years had turned into an unforgettable curse engraved in her mind. The hatred for her own powerlessness, the despair for the death of her beloved children... These negative emotions made her the person who produced the most filth in the world, and she could only watch it all happen, unable to even end this cycle.

"In that case, why not ask for help?"

A calm voice sounded, and Yamu half-knelt down, staring at the White Saint in front of him with tears streaming down her face, and spoke.

"Help?"

The White Saint murmured, with a hint of confusion in her dark red pupils, as if she didn't understand why Yamu mentioned this word.

"Yes, for help. If I'm not mistaken, you have been the one who has been saving others for the past thousand years. It has always been you who has been trying to bear the pain and torture brought by filth alone, right?"

Yamu looked at the White Saint with his eyes slightly lowered and said in a deep voice. Upon hearing this, the White Saint nodded blankly, obviously not understanding what Yamu meant by mentioning these things.

"Is there…something wrong with this?"

For her, saving those children who were tortured by filth was the most normal thing. She could clearly feel their pain and their love for her, and she could also feel that she truly loved those children who had their own ideals and dreams.

"There is no problem. Rather, it is because of your actions that this world has been able to survive until now, right?"

Yamu said, glancing at the Little White Saint standing behind him, and said:

"If it weren't for your efforts, this world would have been completely engulfed by filth thousands of years ago. The records and events we have seen would not be presented in our memories as they are now. The so-called White Kingdom would not exist at all. There would only be a world full of filthy creatures left."

"This also includes little Lily. If it weren't for your efforts, she wouldn't have been born into this world, right? And the guardians like the Black Knights, if it weren't for you, they wouldn't have had the chance to see the wonders of this world."

"Honestly speaking, judging from the results, I can completely understand why those people are so devoted to you. After all, your love has transcended selfish desires and reached a level that is enough for them to sacrifice their lives for it and regard it as their own faith. Even if I were a person from this world, I would probably find it difficult not to have reverence for the 'White Saint', right?"

"To the people of this world, you are their 'God'."

Yamu murmured, looking towards the remains of the White Holy God at his feet, staring at the remains that the White Holy Maiden used to contain filth, and said.

"I...a god or something...I never hoped to become one."

"I just...want to make their lives as happy as possible."

Upon hearing this, the White Saint bit her lip and denied it. She did not agree with what Yamu said about the "god". However, Yamu did not refute it. Instead, he nodded and said:

"I know, but to them, these are actions that only 'gods' can do, and they are different from those that only exist in thoughts."

"Your presence is equivalent to telling them that the gods they believe in are truly standing here, are truly fulfilling the duties of a 'god', and are truly giving back to their faith."

"The most important thing is that even you have been using the requirements of 'God' to define yourself."

She has always been... using the requirements of 'God' to regulate herself?

Upon hearing this, the confusion in the White Saint's dark red pupils became even more intense. It was obvious that she didn't understand why Yamu said that.

To her, she was just doing something perfectly normal. In fact, in her opinion, everything she had done was far from enough to repay the love of the people of the White Kingdom.

"Of course, maybe this doesn't matter to you, but this kind of thing does not depend on subjective attitudes, but on objective behavior. If you really think that what you have done is not worthy of the height of a 'god' in this world, then answer me a question."

"Let me ask you, have you ever asked others for help even once?"

"When you are tired, you want someone to support you. When you are upset, you want someone to comfort you. When you encounter difficulties, you want to ask others to help you solve them... It doesn't matter what it is. As long as there is even one case, tell me, have you ever sought help from someone for your troubles?"

"I...doing that will cause trouble for them. I can't..."

"So, is there?"

"No...no."

A small, timid voice was heard, and the White Saint shrank back, as if she was afraid that Yamu would scold her again.

But this time, Yamu did not scold anything. Instead, he looked calmly at the curled-up White Saint in front of him and said:

"In that case, why not try to ask others for help, at least once?"

"I……"

"It doesn't matter when, even now, to the person you love, or the person who loves you, or even an insignificant person. If you feel that your heart is filled with pain and despair, try to ask them for help once."

"But...I..."

When the White Saint heard this, it was as if the words were stuck in her throat. She wanted to speak but couldn't.

help...

Just as Yamu said, she had responded to such prayers countless times in these thousand years.

Old people, children, men, women... no matter who they are, as long as they are worth saving, they are the children she should save. However, when she turned the identity of the person seeking help to herself, she suddenly felt at a loss.

How to do……

After all, why should I ask others for help?

The world has become like this. The people she knows and the children she loves have all been swallowed up by filth, and the filth on her body is the retribution for her own incompetence. She herself could not withstand the erosion of filth. This pain should not be borne by others.

In an instant, a large number of chaotic thoughts emerged in the mind of the Saint of Confession, making her feel as if the world in front of her had become chaotic.

help...

Why... do I have to do this?
"What's the point of doing this..."

A mosquito-like whispering sounded, and the White Saint buried her head, bit her lips, and murmured in a voice that only she could hear. As if in response to her question, a calm voice sounded in her mind the next second:
"The significance lies in that, to them, you today are the only evidence that they once existed. Even if it is just a memory, it is the last trace those people left in this world."

In mid-air, Yamu was staring at the White Saint, his golden pupils reflecting the other's lifeless eyes, and he said:

"So if you really love them, before you do anything else... learn how to love yourself first."

As soon as the words fell, the White Saint was stunned for a moment.

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Learn…how to love herself?
"I……"

The White Saint looked at her body, her lips moving slightly, as if she wanted to say something, but all kinds of memories emerged uncontrollably in her mind. Finally, all the memories were frozen in one picture:

'Anna, you said... you remember everyone's dreams, right?'

"Hmm... Miss Lena, do you have any wishes?"
"I do have a wish, but I would like to ask you for something more than that."
'What is it? '

'After I fall asleep, please take better care of yourself, Anna.'

"Oh, and you can use my body. I won't be using it for a while anyway. And this way, you will probably value yourself a little more."

"Wait, Ms. Lena, using your body or something..."

"Don't refuse. This is my reward to you. After all, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't even have the chance to wake up."

"Wait a minute, Ms. Lena, I..."

"Well, just in case, let's make another vow. I'll leave the rest to you, Anna."

In a trance, the White Saint felt as if she had returned to that night twenty years ago, back to the conversation she had had with the woman who had brought new possibilities to her life.

That day, she was "forced" to sign a contract with the other party, occupying his body and using his strength to walk out of the restricted area. However, the reason given by the other party at that time made her feel indebted to this day, and made her always cherish the body she used, fearing that the body that did not belong to her would suffer any serious damage.

Five years later, when she woke up again, she only used her power to create the eight children. She left a few words and fell into a deep sleep again. She still remembers that the words she left were...

"If it really doesn't work, think about what else you want to do, and then cry it out loud."

The calm voice overlapped with the voice in memory. In an instant, the White Saint was stunned and stared at Yamu in front of her, muttering:
"Someone has said this to me before."

"Really? That's a coincidence. I heard this from other people as well."

Yamu smiled softly upon hearing this, but the White Saint stood there in a daze as if she had lost her voice, staring at the scene in front of her motionlessly. Tears flashed in the corners of her dry eyes again, and she murmured in a hoarse voice:
"I still... don't understand."

"Why... everyone has to do so many things for me."

“Why…even though we know I am creating filth, people still make those efforts.”

"Why... the one who survived must be me who brought so much filth, and not them."

"but……"

"I... still remember."

"Altis said that he wanted to end the curse of filth and let the people of the White Kingdom no longer suffer from filth."

"Evelyn said she wanted to see the sky turn white."

"Ster Luo said that he hoped that children in the future would no longer have to go hungry like they did when they were young."

"Dasius said that when he gets older, he wants to be a knight teacher and train more outstanding knights."

"Saidaen said that he wanted to see what the starry sky looked like and how bright the sun was."

"Erin said that she wanted her teacher and his wife to be resurrected so that she could be the teacher of their children."

"Yela, that child, she has always hoped to fulfill Artis's dream and protect the promise she made to Artis' child."

"besides……"

In mid-air, a choking sobbing voice was heard, and dark tears kept sliding down the face of the confession saint. She kept telling the dreams of one person after another who she remembered, sobbing constantly, but never refusing to stop.

She remembers it all.

Or maybe, I have never forgotten it from the beginning to the end.

Even though she was haunted by filth, even though she would fall into nightmares brought about by the erosion of filth in her dreams, even though she was greeted by excruciating gnawing pain every day when she opened her eyes, she had never forgotten it.

"So, assuming the filth could be dealt with, what would you want to do yourself?"

Finally, as if pulling the dream back to reality, Yamu's voice rang in the ears of the crying White Saint.

What does she want to do herself?
For a moment, the White Saint was stunned. She looked at the scene blurred by tears, and her vision seemed to become dazed. Finally, she looked at the Little White Saint standing behind Yamu, and a sour feeling surged from her nose. She choked and said:

"if……"

"If that day ever comes, I want to... watch these children grow up healthy and strong."

"I want to see the worlds in Miss Lena's memories, meet more children, and watch them realize their dreams."

"I want to help those worlds like ours in Miss Lianna's memory, so that they have the opportunity to see what the starry sky looks like."

"And, and, I..."

As the White Saint spoke, her voice was gradually covered by sobs. Finally, it was as if a certain line of defense in her heart had completely collapsed. She burst into tears and sobbed:
"I don't want to have nightmares anymore. I don't want to be in so much pain anymore. I don't want to watch them die without being able to do anything. I...I..."

"I don't want to die."

A loud cry like that of a newborn baby echoed in the air. The White Saint choked and spoke hysterically in a hoarse voice. Looking at this scene, Yamu suddenly laughed, and his laugh was very relaxed and comfortable.

"Really? Leave it to us then."

After the words fell, the White Saint was stunned. She raised her head and looked at Yamu's figure turning away. A look of fearful expectation appeared on her tear-soaked face, and she murmured:
"Really...Is it okay?"

"Don't worry. Since you have the memories of that Valkyrie, you should know it better than anyone else in this world..."

A confident chuckle sounded, and Yamu glanced at the White Saint behind him, then looked at Xin Lailai and the Death Bearer in front of him. He took the long sword in his hand, and wiels of golden lightning arcs began to leap on his body again, giving people a feeling of unstoppable sharpness.

"We are pioneers."

……

(End of this chapter)