Love in a mental hospital

Chapter 49 The Real Hero

Gu Ran walked to the second floor platform where there was only one bed, pulled out a box full of diaries from under the bed, and stuffed the diary titled "The First Year of Life in Haicheng" into it.

After stuffing the box back under the bed, he groaned lazily and lay down on the bed.

The temperature in Haicheng was comfortable, so he could sleep anywhere. Out of habit, he pulled the quilt and put it on his belly.

Ten seconds later, he opened his eyes.

Insomnia.

For a qualified psychological counselor, especially an outstanding graduate like him who can enter Jinghai, if he cannot fall asleep within ten seconds, he has failed.

why?

Because you had your first surgery today?

Because tomorrow I'm going to an uninhabited island with three beautiful girls and a beautiful girl's best friend, so I'm so wildly imaginative and excited that I can't sleep?

Gu Ran left the bed, walked down the second floor, and came to the first floor where the living room, kitchen, and study were integrated. He turned on the light and sat on the sofa.

One way to go to bed early is not to do anything else in bed and just use the bed as a place to sleep.

If you can't sleep, you can't stay in bed.

So, what is the reason for insomnia today?

Is it really because of the surgery and tomorrow’s trip? Gu Ran didn't think so. He was a professionally trained person and external factors of this level could not interfere with his sleep quality.

According to Sherlock Holmes's classic quote, "Exclude all impossibilities, and whatever remains, no matter how unbelievable, is a fact.", it is obvious where the problem lies -

Damn 'Big Cup', 'Standard Ice', '7 Points Sugar' peach-flavored oolong!

Every milk tea in the world that can cause insomnia should be sentenced to death!

A dog takes a mouse. If you want to offset your sleepiness, coffee is enough. I want you to mind your own business with milk tea!

Gu Ran randomly picked up a copy of "Collected Works of Acheng" from the bookshelf and flipped through a page. It was "Gossip". He didn't really want to read it, but he still liked it.

Scroll down page by page.

He yawned when he saw that "the commentator said that Mr. Lu Xun's wooden box can be opened as a bookcase to store soft things that can be taken with him at any time."

Putting the book back on the bookcase, I silently recited the next sentence in the book: "I wonder why this "hard-core" Lu Xun always leaves?" ’, while walking up to the second floor.

Fell asleep this time.

But I had another dream.

For psychological counselors, "dreaming" specifically refers to dreams in which one is aware that one is dreaming. At this time, one only needs to calm down and not wake up, and then consciousness can come and create a "dream body" in the dream.

That is lucid dreaming.

◇

Gu Ran looked up and was back here again. He was not surprised.

The dark night was like a gauze curtain, and the moon was dim because of it. Under the weak light, the grass was endless, and he stood alone in an almost invisible grass path.

【Psychological shadow】

It is not unusual to have thoughts during the day and dreams at night.

Gu Ran hopes to dream about Su Qing and He Qingyan.

He wanted to step on He Qingyan's head.

Kneel down and beg Su Qing to let him touch her legs. In the dream, maybe she will agree?

He moved forward, or perhaps backward, along the path, unable to tell which direction he was going.

After walking for a long time, he gradually began to have random thoughts. The scene in front of him was simply a reappearance of getting lost in the fields when he was a child.

There were no street lights or flashlights at that time, the only light was the moon in the sky.

But the moon is also covered by clouds most of the time.

It was pitch dark all around, and he was the only one trudging anxiously.

Gu Ran's body was filled with dream smoke, and he was beyond recognition. When he thought of his childhood, he felt uncomfortable.

He did not force himself and let the dream body escape. Whether it was a lucid dream, a [psychological shadow] or a [spiritual world], they were all essentially dreams, and dreaming affected sleep.

Today, my sleep time has been reduced due to Taoxiang Oolong, so I need to pay more attention to the quality of sleep.

End your dream soon.

The amount of smoke rising into the sky was much more than Gu Ran had imagined. It was not at all like the amount of smoke that a person would experience after being burned, but more like the size of the oldest straw-thatched house in the village being set on fire.

That old man is also pitiful. He has lived in a thatched house all his life and really lived like a cow or horse.

Every time Gu Ran passes by there, he can't help but wonder, will his whole life be like this?

His parents, who had not yet gone out to work at that time, had already told him that the family had no money and asked him to drop out of school after primary school. Therefore, he cherished learning very much and treated every day like it was the last day, unlike other children who were tired of studying.

The memories of his childhood became clearer and clearer, and Gu Ran even felt physically uncomfortable because of it——

He was temporarily blind and his ears were ringing.

He raised his head, trying to find the moon to make himself feel better, but suddenly he found that the dream smoke escaping from his body condensed into a black bird in the sky that was darker than the night.

It's strange, he shouldn't be able to see anything.

He has experienced blindness more than once, and he is very sure that he is blind now and cannot see. Then why can he see everything around him clearly?

Is it because this is a dream?

The dream smoke is getting less and less, all gathering into black birds, or being swallowed by black birds.

The black bird flapped its wings and suddenly swooped towards Gu Ran.

Gu Ran subconsciously raised his wrist to cover his face. Only then did he realize that the dream body had not disappeared.

But anything is possible in dreams. If it doesn’t disappear, it doesn’t disappear. It doesn’t matter.

The black bird and Gu Ran merged into one, and on the grass plain as black as a gauze curtain, a darker shadow expanded rapidly,

At a certain moment, a huge wing-like black shadow suddenly unfolded.

Gu Ran disappeared, and so did the black bird. Instead, there was a black dragon with huge wings and a ferocious and majestic dragon head.

"This is the first time I have had such a dream." Gu Ran knew exactly what he had become.

A western black dragon.

"Is it related to my recent re-watching of "The Interpretation of Dreams"? Is it because I didn't turn into an Eastern Dragon because I subconsciously feel that I have more dark sides in my soul?"

Gu Ran analyzed.

"Perhaps it can be written into a paper or a poem. In this way, I will be both a scholar and a poet."

"Mary Shelley claimed that the story of "Frankenstein" was inspired by her own lucid dreams, and that the plot could automatically develop in the dream;

“Ramanujan, known as the ‘Son of India’, claimed that mathematical formulas would automatically appear in his dreams;

"Tello, the director of "Pan's Labyrinth", mentioned in an interview that before the age of 11, he made friends with monsters in his dreams;

"Gu Ran, the greatest psychological counselor in the 21st century, represents therapy: "Black Dragon Therapy";

"He is also the greatest poet of the 21st century. His representative poetry collection is: "The Black Dragon Lives in Our Hearts"."

Gu Ran was very satisfied with this statement.

The emotions of his childhood seemed to have been sucked away by the blackbird, and although they were now reintegrated with him, they would not make him feel sad, and everything became controllable.

"I don't know if I can fly."

Gu Ran didn't want to wake up now. Tomorrow was Saturday anyway, and Su Qing's set gathering time was also nine o'clock. It didn't matter if he read less or slept more in the morning.

Studying in dreams also counts as study time.

He tried to flap his wings, and suddenly, a powerful force surged through his body. Although he staggered a little, he successfully used the dragon wings to leave the ground slightly.

Seeing that he was about to fall again, he hurriedly flapped his wings again.

The dragon's claws and tail, which he had no extra thought to care about, plowed long ravines on the grassland. The black dragon clung to the grassland and flew like a glider.

Gu Ran slowly stabilized his body. He really dreamed that he could fly!

Bang!

The black dragon fell headlong, and the huge inertia given by the powerful power of its wings allowed its huge body with a wingspan of fifteen meters to plow the ground.

A large field was opened up from the wasteland. Anyway, when Gu Ran saw it, he thought it would be a pity not to plant vegetables.

"Dragon tribe will never grow vegetables!" He raised the dragon's head and looked at the moon.

The moonlight pours on the dragon's body like water.

boom!boom!boom!

The wings flapped again and again, and the black dragon lifted up inch by inch and left the ground.

"Boom!" This time, he rose directly into the sky and shot out like a sharp arrow.

The wind was howling and the night was cool. Gu Ran felt that he had really turned into a black dragon. He roared loudly, and the roar of the dragon echoed on the grassy plain.

"In the Ming Dynasty, there was Feng Menglong, and in the new era, there is me, Gu Menglong!" Gu Ran was so proud that he even gave himself a pseudonym.

The black veil was lifted, and a white-haired nightmare jumped out. Gu Ran struck out without thinking.

The white-haired nightmare was disemboweled by the dragon's claws and dissipated into smoke.

The black veil was lifted again, and this time eight white-haired nightmares jumped out. Gu Ran laughed and swiped the dragon's tail, exploding them all.

Another three-meter-tall blue-haired nightmare came out with a bone knife.

The black dragon used one claw as usual to catch the green-haired nightmare.

Four green-haired nightmares lifted up the black veil in the distance, and dozens of white-haired nightmares came to fight as bravely as if Gu Ran had invaded their territory.

Soon, Gu Ran sighed in boredom.

The lawn-mowing game is only interesting at the beginning. The most fun thing about Contra is 3 lives, 30 lives is fine, but infinite resurrection is boring.

Gu Ran was preparing to forcefully leave and end the Black Dragon Dream. It was more important to fall into deep sleep as soon as possible.

"Huh?" He suddenly looked at the black butterflies in the sky and decided to wait a little longer.

He didn't enter the source of Lu Lu's shadow during the day, so he could just enjoy it in his dream.

The black dragon spread its wings, suddenly rose from the ground, and flew close to the grass.

His understanding of the source of Lu Lu's shadow came from the postoperative meeting and Su Qing's showing off. The dream should also rely on his superficial understanding.

Although superficial, dreams will complete themselves with their imagination, and it is not surprising to dream of winning lottery numbers.

Dreams seem to be able to explain everything, which is equivalent to 'indecision, quantum mechanics'. He woke up from too many white-haired nightmares and green-haired nightmares. Black moths were like a vast ocean, moving like a dark cloud across the grassy plains.

The black dragon can glide for a long time with one flap of its wings. Even so, the speed must be controlled to avoid scattering the dark clouds.

Compared to the previous run, it was completely different.

After flying for a long, long, long time, until all the black moths disappeared, Gu Ran finally saw a second path in the grass.

Is it because he couldn't enter the source of the shadow during the day that the road was so long?

Gu Ran flew along the grassy path. This time, it only took a short time for him to feel a change in space.

The black dragon landed in a city, hovering on the top of the tall buildings, slowly descending, leaning down to look at the street.

The streets were already in panic and the crowd was in a hurry.

Except that there was no police force present, it was almost like a real dream, but there were no white sheets anywhere.

The city was very familiar. Black Dragon raised his head and looked into the distance. It was Spring Mountain and this was Haicheng.

He flapped his wings and flew, trying to reach Spring Mountain, but he couldn't get close.

Not only Chunshan, there are many places that Gu Ran cannot approach.

"Subconsciously, I don't want to go to {Jinghai} like this? What about other places? Because I haven't been there?"

Gu Ran looked at the street. The men and women were dressed in a slightly "old-fashioned" style, so the time must have passed.

Lu Lu is now twenty-nine years old. The first time she had psychological problems was when she was eighteen years old. Is it eleven years ago now?

"Who is that person?" Gu Ran saw a familiar figure.

The black dragon swooped down and landed, and the pedestrians scattered like a school of fish.

The black dragon crawled and staggered forward on the road, its huge body blurring into a ball of dragon-shaped shadow.

Immediately afterwards, the black part pulled away and turned into a black bird in the air again, soaring into the sky. Only Gu Ran was left walking forward.

Gu Ran stopped, glanced at his hands, and then looked at the small black dot in the sky.

People around him pointed at him, and he quickly ran, not to escape the crowd, but to catch up with the child in front of him!

Zhao Wenjie!

I actually dreamed about him!

When passing by a passerby, Gu Ran took the other person's Nokia away and looked at the time: 2008, May , Friday at four o'clock in the afternoon.

According to Zhao Wenjie's birth date in his medical records, he is only fourteen years old now.

Gu Ran returned the phone, ignored the angry pulls from passers-by, apologized, and continued to keep up with Zhao Wenjie, who was running wildly in front of him.

Zhao Wenjie ran into an alley, which was lined with trees and the balconies of every house were filled with flowers.

Some families set up stalls outside their narrow homes to sell coconut milk, corn, tea eggs, grilled sausages and other foods to tourists.

"Xiaojie, are you coming back so early today?" shouted an aunt who was knitting a sweater while guarding the stall.

"General cleaning!" Zhao Wenjie turned around and stepped back while answering, "Let's get out of school early!"

After that, continue running forward.

He ran very fast, as if he was running for a little wind. The wind blew his bangs back, and a few strands of hair were stuck to his forehead with sweat.

As he neared home, he became quiet, his childish face showing a cunning plan to play tricks on others.

Gu Ran stopped and just looked.

He knew what would happen next, even if it was his dream, he didn't want to pry into Zhao Wenjie's privacy.

He saw Zhao Wenjie entering the house cautiously, and then saw him rushing out crying, running desperately, wiping his tears as fiercely as if he wanted to tear his eyeballs out.

Gu Ran remained silent.

His level of lucid dreaming was not high enough to control the development of his dreams: He wanted to make up for the regrets of the day and glanced at the source of Lu Lu's shadow, but saw Zhao Wenjie at the source.

Gu Ran stood there and waited for a long time, waiting for Zhao Wenjie to come back.

When the sun was about to set, Zhao Wenjie returned to the alley at normal school time in the setting sun, which looked like a rising sun.

He is thirty years old, wearing a long robe common in martial arts TV, and holding a sword in his hand.

In front of the house, he drew his sword and walked in.

"Zhao Wenjie." Gu Ran said.

Zhao Wenjie slowly turned around and saw Gu Ran standing in front of a wall in the alley, under a dull street lamp.

He rushed in front of Gu Ran in two or three steps, swung his sword across and wiped his neck.

Gu Ran didn't move.

The sword stopped one centimeter away from Gu Ran's neck.

"Doctor Gu, do you want to stop me?" said thirty-year-old Zhao Wenjie, "As long as I kill them, my disease will be cured!"

"Then why have you endured it for so many years?" Gu Ran asked.

"I thought I could bear it, but I couldn't bear it."

"Stop dreaming." Gu Ran shouted, "Do you have any illusions that you can kill this matter by killing your mother?"

He continued: "There is no such good thing in this world! If you kill your mother, the pain will only become double. You can never escape the pain you encounter!"

"Whether it's useful or not, I won't know until I kill him!" Zhao Wenjie looked crazy.

"Can you kill me?" Gu Ran asked back, "Zhao Wenjie, you are not as cruel as you think, and you are far more filial than you think. The reason why you are sick is because of your kindness."

"Shut up!" Zhao Wenjie brought his sword closer.

He has the long hair of ancient people, and when he is excited, his hair dances wildly.

"Zhao Wenjie" Gu Ran said softly.

Zhao Wenjie sneered: "Are you afraid?"

"I'm just reminding you," Gu Ran looked directly into his eyes, "You only let yourself become a master of the inner family, but you never let yourself learn a single move - the one who will stop you is not me, but yourself. "

"Xiaojie?" A woman walked out of Zhao Wenjie's house.

There was a middle-aged man beside her.

The woman quickly introduced: "This is your father's friend. He came to see your father."

"Are you Xiaojie?" The middle-aged man smiled and reached out to touch Zhao Wenjie's head.

Zhao Wenjie waved him away.

The middle-aged man was not angry either. He had a kind of pride and calmness that was disgusting. He smiled and nodded to the woman and said, "I'll come back when Lao Zhao comes back." Then he turned and left.

"Why are you back so early today? Are you sweating?" The woman wiped the sweat from Zhao Wenjie's forehead with her hand distressedly, "Today is Friday, shall we go out to eat? What do you want to eat?"

Zhao Wenjie remained silent.

When his mother wiped his sweat, he didn't resist; when his mother held his hand and took him out to eat, he didn't refuse.

Gu Ran and thirty-year-old Zhao Wenjie watched the woman hold the hand of fourteen-year-old Zhao Wenjie and walk out of the alley.

The sword suddenly fell to the ground. Thirty-year-old Zhao Wenjie staggered to the wall, pressed his forehead against the wall, and screamed and cried silently.

"I can't do anything, Doctor Gu. I can't even do anything to that kind of person. I'm useless!"

He said something and banged his head against the wall, causing blood to flow down the wall.

If Zhao Wenjie really takes action, will the blood of his mother and that man be splashed on it?

Gu Ran stretched out his hand to block the gap between his forehead and the wall. Zhao Wenjie bumped into it once, and his hand felt severe pain as if it was penetrated from front to back.

Gu Ran said as if talking to himself: "Who in this world has no 'useless' moments?"

He seemed to be talking to himself.

"You like martial arts novels, and so do I, but among the heroes in the novels, who can really take revenge?

"Xiao Feng is a Khitan, Duan Yu is not his father's biological son, Xu Zhu was abandoned by his parents, Guo Jing has no father, Yang Guo's father had a blood feud with Huang Rong and Guo Jing, and Zhang Wuji's parents were forced to death.

"China is like this. Who among the superheroes in the West has no regrets?

"Unfortunately, pain is unavoidable, no matter who it is, but Zhao Wenjie," Gu Ran looked at Zhao Wenjie, "before pain, you can choose to destroy, but if you want to be a hero, a real hero, you have to be strong!"

Zhao Wenjie didn't speak, just cried silently.

All Gu Ran can do is accompany him.

Psychological counselors cannot solve the impermanence of life. The only thing they can do is to help patients become mentally stronger again.

As dusk fell into the sea, the lights began to turn on, and the street lights where Gu Ran and Zhao Wenjie were were also turned on.

Zhao Wenjie happened to be outside the light, and Gu Ran was inside the light. Gu Ran's hand was always blocking Zhao Wenjie's forehead and the wall.

On August 12, Gu Ran woke up in the morning with a phantom pain in his palms and felt the need to write down this dream.

----

"Private Diary": August 12, sunny, Saturday, I woke up from the dream.

I have read "The Complete Poems of the Tang Dynasty". As a psychological counselor, I read with purpose. I am very sensitive to some words.

"Where" and "I don't know" are both high-frequency words.

"Where" was mentioned 1583 times; "I don't know" was mentioned 1348 times.

I know and am sure that Zhao Wenjie will never be able to escape the shadow of his mother's cheating throughout his life, but I hope that there will also be a steady stream of sunshine in his life to warm his cold body in the shadow.

(End of this chapter)