Li Er of the Tang Dynasty: Ancestor Xie is here!

The jokes of the Song Dynasty are so outrageous that both the person involved and the audience will inevitably feel ups and downs when listening to them.

It's just that the person involved was furious, but the audience smiled knowingly.

But jokes also depend on who tells them. If it were a minister telling a joke, I'm afraid he would have to eat it with a guillotine. But now it’s the immortal master telling jokes, and even if the person involved has an opinion, they have to hold it in.

Lao Zhao himself didn't care, anyway, it was his younger brother and nephew who were embarrassed. But they are still the Zhao family after all. In front of so many people, they are still a bit worried about their face.

Besides, as for Zhao Guangyi’s stupid letter, why didn’t he run away without giving him two slaps?
"Kneel down for me!" Zhao Kuangyin looked at Zhao Guangyi angrily, still unable to understand his hatred, and even kicked him twice.

These two kicks were very real. Zhao Guangyi was kicked so hard that he grimaced, and it was obvious that he was in pain.

"Tell you, watch me and see how I go on the Northern Expedition!" Zhao Kuangyin stared at his incompetent brother: "How did I teach you how to play with a knife back then? Now I will teach you how to fight!"

"I...I know how to fight..." Zhao Guangyi was still whispering: "It's because the generals don't have enough lives..."

Zhao Kuangyin was furious after hearing this, and he kicked him again: "I'm going to fuck you...I'm going to fuck your mother-in-law. How can you say you know how to fight if you're the only one who sent out the Pingrong Ten Thousand Formation Plan?"

He originally wanted to say "Fuck your mother", but he held it back and changed it to "Mother-in-law".

This person has been with Lao Zhu for a long time, and it is inevitable that he has picked up some bits and pieces. It's okay to say this to others, but you must never say it to Zhao Guangyi and Zhao Tingmei, no matter how useless they are.

The "Pingrong Wanquan Formation" is a set of combat formations developed during Zhao Guangyi's reign. It is named "Pingrong Wanquan". It can be seen that it is regarded as a proud work and relies on its omnipotence to deal with border troubles. After the introduction of this formation method, it was implemented in the army and border defense.

In the historical records of the Song Dynasty, apart from a few empty words from officials praising the "universal formation", there is no record of its effectiveness. Related battle cases also reveal the fact that the formation given by Emperor Taizong of the Song Dynasty cannot be used in actual combat.

For example, in October of the fourth year of Taiping and Xingguo's reign, shortly after the first Northern Expedition to Youzhou was defeated, the Liao army launched a southern attack, and the main forces of Song and Liao faced each other in the city. Emperor Taizong of the Song Dynasty "gave the formation map in advance and divided it into eight formations for them to engage in." The Song army deployed the formation according to the map, with large gaps between each formation. It is regarded as the predecessor of "Pingrong Wanquan Formation".

General Zhao Yanjin believed that "our division's Xingbu is extremely powerful" and advocated changing the formation and "attacking together". Commander Cui Han did not dare to "change the order without authorization". Later, when Zhao Yanjin and others took the initiative to take responsibility, he changed the army into two formations, "front and rear, in coordination with each other". He concentrated his forces to attack and won a complete victory. The great victory in Mancheng was the result of the general's flexibility and flexibility in the battle, which just proved the stupidity and failure of the dogmatic formations and formation diagrams taught by Song Taizong.

Zhao Guangyi, on the other hand, had no clue at all. Instead, he was very proud and felt that his formation was perfect - so much so that even Chen Hongli felt ashamed when he named it "Wanquan" - I only dared to call it "Wanquan". Everything will be safe once you get there, right?

Zhao Guangyi, who had no idea, was so proud of his masterpiece that he often gave formation plans to control the generals. This seriously violated the basic principles of military use and made the commander neither dare to make necessary adjustments to the control plan according to the battlefield situation, let alone Give full play to the enthusiasm of active combat, and can only deal with it passively.

Friends who often lead troops in combat know that the battlefield changes rapidly and fighter opportunities are fleeting. Even if you rely on asking for instructions to fight a war, you can't even hope to catch up with any hot dishes, let alone fight with a pre-made formation plan? As a qualified commander, one must truly understand the intentions of his superiors, truly integrate them, and truly understand the status and role of the tasks he has received in the campaign and the overall battle situation.

Only in this way can you give full play to your subjective initiative, break the box, have the courage and creativity to find new ways in new situations, have great courage, be determined and ruthless, dare to win completely, and have a strong desire to eat the enemy. Intent and ambition.

It's just that Zhao Guangyi is too ordinary and too confident.

"I don't believe it, I just..." Before Zhao Guangyi could finish speaking, he was punched three times by Zhao Kuangyin.

"Me! Me! Dog-footed me!" Zhao Kuangyin said angrily: "In front of me, are you worthy of calling me?"

Zhao Guangyi took three punches and became honest as expected. He stayed there and never spoke again.

He didn't dare to speak, and he would get beaten if he did, so he might as well just shut up and say nothing.

Zhao Kuangyin waved his hand and ordered people to take Zhao Guangyi back to Zhenguan Dynasty so that he could continue to serve his sentence.

When the chickens have finished eating the rice, the dogs have finished licking the noodles, and the fire has broken the locks, he will naturally be released after serving his sentence.

After Zhao Guangyi was taken away, Zhao Kuangyin looked at the Song army assembled below the city tower and announced the dispatch of troops to the Northern Expedition.

In the eyes of the common people, this is a rare thing, and it is also a morale-boosting thing.

Since Song Taizong Zhao Guangyi failed in the two Northern Expeditions, and the current emperor Zhao Heng had to pay annual compensation for winning the battle in Chanzhou City, the Song people felt that they could not hold their head high when facing the Liao people.

Especially Bianliang City, the most virtuous area under the emperor's feet, originally felt that he and the country were both prosperous and destructive. The most important thing is that Bianliang City was the capital of the Song Dynasty, and foreigners traveled here all year round to do business. The imperial court is weak, and the common people cannot stand up to those foreigners, as if their backbone has been severed.

Now that Emperor Taizu is here in person and leading his troops for the Northern Expedition, that's really...

We all hope that Emperor Taizu will return, the one with the black face and goatee.

Some people even made up a song saying, "My parents talk about the good old days all day long, long ago, in the time of Emperor Taizu, when grandpa pursued grandma. My grandpa swore that only in his fifties Years ago, the water of the Bian River was still very clear, and the court was victorious; and grandma seriously said that when she was a girl, she could drink the water of the Bian River directly without getting sick."

Although this is a complaint against the imperial court, it actually shows what the people are thinking.

I don't know who took the lead in shouting "Long live my emperor", and then the people of the entire Bianliang City gathered together to shout "Long live my emperor". Together with the Kaibao Song Army brought by Zhao Kuangyin, as well as the forbidden troops in Bianliang City, Everyone was shouting.

The current Forbidden Army is not like it was a few decades ago. Although it is a bit degraded and has some redundant troops, at least for now, it is not completely rotten to the root.

It's rotten, but not completely rotten.

Kaibao Songjun is an authentic Tiance-style training, and the teachers hired are the same as Li Jing and Li Ji. The training regulations of the Tiance Army were completely in accordance with the training methods of the armies of later generations.

There are strict rules and regulations in the army, and military discipline and style have become very strict under Li Qing's obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Now that the Kaibao Song Army stands on the ground, it can be seen that it is obviously different from the Imperial Army of the Zhenzong Dynasty.

The Imperial Guards of the Zhenzong Dynasty were always leaning on their spears or leaning on something, and were extremely loose. But when the Kaibao Song Army stood there, it was like a javelin, sticking straight there without wavering. . "He is truly the master of bears and tigers!" Wang Dan commented with a smile while stroking his beard.

He saw that those Song soldiers were completely without armor, but based on the principle that he didn't know the soldiers and what was going on in the Taizu Dynasty, so he couldn't comment too much, he chose to remain silent.

But he was silent, so naturally he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Kou Zhun, who was originally in Jingde for three years, was squeezed out by Wang Qinruo and others and went to Shaanxi Province to be the magistrate. He was rehabilitated by Zhao Kuangyin and returned to the central government as privy envoy and Tongping Zhangshi.

Kou Laoxier is different from ordinary civil servants, he knows how to fight. Although the anecdote and allusion of "When a white knife goes in and a green knife comes out, I'll pierce your gallbladder; when a white knife goes in and a yellow knife comes out, I'll pierce your gallbladder" is made up, Kou Laoxier is indeed quite insightful in military strategy. This can be seen in the process of persuading Zhao Heng to personally conquer Chanzhou City.

"Guanjia, why don't we wear armor when we open the treasure army?" Kou Zhun asked worriedly next to Zhao Kuangyin.

The Song Dynasty was relatively tolerant, so the monarchs and ministers did not talk much between themselves in normal times. They could just say whatever they wanted, and there was no need to kneel on the ground and ask for death penalty before expressing opinions. Generally, this kind of situation occurred in formal occasions. middle.

How many times have I said that you should address your duties when working!
"Ping Zhong, there is no need to worry. Kaibao Army has been learning new tactics all year round. Moreover, Kaibao Army has just ordered a batch of Tang-style equipment from the Tang Dynasty, and its firepower has been greatly enhanced." Zhao Kuangyin stroked his beard and said with a smile: "Armor No need, Pingzhong just needs to watch."

Kou Zhun's sharp eyes saw the artillery being dragged behind the "Tang Bao" lightning. He pointed at it and asked, "Guanjia, what is that?"

"Artillery," Zhao Kuangyin stroked his beard and said with a smile, "This is the god of war. I have brought a full artillery division this time. As long as they fire at the same time, they will be destroyed for dozens of miles in an instant."

There was obvious disbelief in Kou Zhun's eyes, just this "little thing"? How much energy can there be, and it can be destroyed for dozens of miles in an instant? Why don't you go to heaven?
He had seen many exaggerated rhetorical techniques like this. As for the Lushan Waterfall, it is indeed spectacular, but it is not as exaggerated as "The Milky Way Falls in the Nine Heavens". If we scale it according to the scale that literati are accustomed to... these tens of miles, after scaling it, can destroy a room?
Zhao Kuangyin also knew that he didn't believe it. People always have doubts about things they have never seen before, not to mention that this thing is beyond his knowledge.

Lao Zhao had a good temper and did not feel dissatisfied. He patted Kou Zhun on the shoulder with a smile and said: "Ping Zhong, there is no need to worry. When the war starts, I will show you and you will understand."

With anxious thoughts, Kou Zhun confusedly got into Lao Zhao's special command car.

It's said to be a command vehicle, but it's actually a large, specially-made RV. For this expedition, a total of ten vehicles were brought, and the ministers shared nine vehicles. Kou Zhun was deeply loved by Zhao Kuangyin and shared one vehicle with him.

Kou Zhun said he didn't dare, but his legs moved faster than anyone else, and his body was more honest than anyone else.

As he stepped into the car, Kou Zhun was deeply attracted by the luxurious accessories in front of him.

"Pingzhong, don't be so formal. Come on, come on, play poker with me." Zhao Kuangyin chuckled and sat down at the edge of the mahjong table.

Yes, he has a mahjong machine in his car...

In order to avoid boredom on the expedition, he took it with him.

The Kaibao Song Army that came to this dynasty had completely realized the mechanization of troop transportation. If it were not for fighting across time and space, the Song army that opened the Bao Dynasty could take trains to fight in various places. But now is a special period and special situation after all. In order to reach the destination quickly, Zhao Kuangyin ordered all the trucks in the army to be gathered and headed to the Zhenzong Dynasty to participate in the battle.

The Song Dynasty is not short of trucks now. After all, the trucks of the Zhenguan Dynasty were basically exported to the Song Dynasty. Big dog owners are not short of money, they just have a "buy, buy, buy" attitude. Every time Zhao Kuangyin banged the table, Li Shimin got a little red-eyed - without him, for some reason, the mineral richness of the Song Dynasty was more than that of the twenty dimensions of the Tang Dynasty combined.

Kou Zhun had no intention of playing cards. He sat by the window and looked at the more than 10,000 trucks with mixed feelings in his heart.

Is this Kaibao Dynasty already so powerful?

By this time, he was completely relieved.

The transportation capacity has already subverted the three concepts, and the combat effectiveness will definitely not be bad.

He now began to look forward to the power of the artillery.

Seeing Kou Zhun looking outside with concern, Zhao Kuangyin did not dissuade him, but called Lao Li and the others to start playing cards.

Li Qing went back early, and he didn't want to join in this kind of excitement.

Kou Zhun was still very enthusiastic about Li Shimin. After all, he was the most perfect boss in the eyes of his courtiers. Kou Zhun was an upright man, and because he repeatedly violated Yan Zhijian, he was gradually reused by Zhao Guangyi. When there was a severe drought in the spring of the second year of Chunhua, all the ministers were saying that it was destiny. Only Kou Zhun used the theory of interaction between heaven and man as a basis to remonstrate that the punishment was unfair. Later, it was found out that it was true.

Although Zhao Guangyi had a good temper and was quite tolerant of his direct remonstrances, he developed a dislike for him over time. In the second year of Dao, because Kou Zhun's temperament was too upright, Zhao Guangyi lamented, "The rat bird still understands people's thoughts." , let alone people?" Kou Zhun was dismissed as prime minister and demoted to Dengzhou as magistrate.

For a person like him who has an upright temperament and does not rub dirt in his eyes, the boss he admires most is Li Shimin.

Of course, Lao Li also liked Kou Zhun very much. He leaned back in his chair and smiled and persuaded Zhao Kuangyin to bring Kou Zhun back to Kaibao Dynasty. He said that it is easy to get a lot of gold, but it is hard to find an honest minister, not to mention that Kou Zhun was extremely talented and perfect. The "human mirror".

In fact, Lao Li was also holding back his bad intentions, thinking that Wei Zheng couldn't just have it for me, but you also have to have your own mirror.

Zhao Kuangyin groaned and could only agree to Li Shimin's words out of sympathy.

For the ministers who violated Yan Zhijian, every emperor's mood was complicated - it could be said to be love and hate. Love him, what I love is that he is upright and speaks out when he has something to say, unlike some courtiers who play tricks on you; hate him, he is really itchy at all, and sometimes speaking outright is too harsh.

As the saying goes, lies don't hurt, the truth is a sharp knife. Sometimes, telling the truth is so harsh.

As the saying goes, good medicine is bitter in the mouth and good for the disease, and true advice is good for the deeds if it is hard on the ears. This is the truth.

(Please vote for me, the new month is starting to be exciting!) (End of this chapter)