Red Mansion: Bastards rule the roost

Jia Cong nodded, changed his clothes, and went to the garden.

The banquet was placed in the magnificent Qiu Shuangzhai to celebrate the spring as a farewell party for Jia Huan.

Now the girls are also generous. Because Jia Cong said that the monthly payment of two taels of silver in the past was really stingy, he approved the note. The monthly salary of the girls in the mansion was increased to ten taels. If the West Mansion had no money, it would be spent from the East Mansion.

Everyone was gathering around the Huali Marble Case to admire Tanchun's collection of famous Buddhist scriptures. When they saw him coming, they hurriedly came over to take over.

"What are you doing?" Jia Cong laughed.

"Looking at San Yatou's post." Baochai said.

Daiyu pursed her lips and smiled: "People often say that Brother Cong is both civil and military, but unfortunately there is one thing that is not perfect after all."

Everyone was busy asking why.

Daiyu pointed to the post on the case and teased: "Brother Cong is not known as the most talented person in the world."

Everyone laughed.

Baoyu was very happy, and felt that this was the only place where he could beat Jia Cong, so he smiled evilly and said, "Brother Cong, just don't go out to write, and no one else will know."

Jia Cong mumbled, "Whether I write well or not is worth anything. If I want to write, don't I know to ask Sister Bao and Yan'er to write for me?"

Baochai and Daiyu covered their mouths, smiled, and glanced at him.

Baoyu suddenly received 10,000 points of damage and smiled, speechless.

Daiyu has always been the deepest pain in his heart. Although he has recovered a lot now, it is still difficult to let go.

Sister Feng came over with Sister Qiao in her arms and said with a smile: "I'm here to have a drink today, not to test my knowledge or write.

Cong'er is not like Nezha, who has three heads and six arms. He has to practice martial arts, fight wars and run emperor's errands, so there is no time to practice calligraphy. "

"Sister Feng's words are very kind." Jia Cong smiled and went over, teasing Sister Qiao: "Call me master, call me master."

Sister Qiao spat bubbles at him, barked twice, and rolled her eyes.

Everyone laughed.

Sister Feng spat: "She is only more than three months old, what is her name?"

Jia Cong smiled and said, "Am I not teaching her?" He really didn't care much about his daughter. Apart from official duties, he didn't have enough time to spend with his many wives when he returned home, so he couldn't take care of his daughter.

Sister Feng rolled her eyes at him and said, "You don't love her much on weekdays. If you look carefully, she won't kiss you."

Everyone covered their mouths and snickered.

Jia Cong smiled dryly and said, "Isn't this busy? Is there anything to eat? I'm almost starving to death." He just ate some solid food on the road, and he had another fight, so he was already hungry.

Baochai hurriedly ordered someone to bring a plate of yam cake stuffed with jujube paste and a plate of sweet-scented osmanthus and mung bean mille-feuille cake.

"You, you are busy with official duties and don't care about yourself. It's such a big deal, and the food is not delicious." Daiyu said.

Jia Cong waved his hand for everyone to sit down and said with a smile: "Don't worry about your frown. I'm in good health. Don't you know?"

"Youhun said, let's eat yours!" Daiyu blushed and spat at him.

All the girls knew Jia Cong's outspoken nature, so they just pretended not to hear and gathered together to talk.

After a while, Jia Huan came. Baochai was afraid that Jia Cong would be hungry, so she ordered people to pass the food around.

The food and wine were already prepared, and a dozen girls filed in with food boxes, filling a large table in an instant.

Since everyone gathered in the garden today, including Jia Cong's family, Tanchun ordered several Eight Immortals tables to be put together so that more than a dozen people could sit down.

Baoyu loved this kind of liveliness and said with a smile: "It's boring to sit in an elegant seat. You have to follow orders."

The girls laughed and said, "What order do you have?"

Jia Cong was most afraid of their drinking orders, so he hurriedly said: "Today is a farewell party for Brother Huan. He has the final say on what orders are given."

"Okay, Brother Huan, please tell me." Everyone laughed.

Jia Huan didn't expect that he would one day be the protagonist. He scratched his head and thought for a moment. If he said punching, it would be too vulgar and make people laugh.

Suddenly seeing so many people sitting together, he said with a smile: "Okay, let's beat the drum and pass the flowers. If the flowers fall into someone's hands, they will be given a drink and a joke will be told as a penalty. If the joke is not funny, an additional drink will be fined."

"This also makes it possible for both refined and popular people to appreciate it." Xiangyun said with a smile: "Now the osmanthus flowers are blooming just in time, pick one quickly." The servant woman hurriedly went to pick flowers and get the drum.

Daiyu smiled and said, "Guan Ling, go behind the screen and play the drums."

The senior official smiled and nodded.

After a while, the drum sounded, and the sweet-scented osmanthus came out from Jia Huan's place. Everyone took it one by one. The drum beat slowly, and the flowers were passed slowly. The drum sounded fast, and the flowers were passed quickly. They turned twice, and they were just in Jia Cong's hands. The drumbeat suddenly stopped.

Everyone laughed: "Brother Cong should tell a joke."

Jia Cong smiled bitterly, naturally knowing that this was an unspoken rule. If Jia Mu was here, she would be the first to say it. He had to have a glass of wine and thought for a long time before he came up with a joke that Su Can had told him before.

"A bride came to the church and gave birth to a son. The mother-in-law was so ashamed that she hurriedly took it and hid it. The bride said: 'If I had known that my mother-in-law cared so much about her, I would have asked someone to bring the aunt and the eldest child in the family.'"

The girls all burst into laughter, covered their mouths and spat: "Brother Cong, whatever you say, will ruin your daughter's innocence."

Jia Cong hurriedly defended: "I heard that this is a real thing in Lingnan, I am not making up nonsense."

Tanchun spat: "Who told you that?"

"That's the Su Can who came that day." Jia Cong said with a smile.

All the girls shook their heads and laughed.

The drum beat started again, Jia Cong winked at Ling Guan, and the flowers fell into Baochai's hands.

"Sister Gaibao said." Xiangyun clapped her hands and smiled.

Jia Cong was also very curious about what jokes Baochai, who "can be ruthless and touching", would make.

Baochai thought for a while and said: "The Jade Emperor built the Lingxiao Palace, but he was short of money and food, so he wanted to give the Guanghan Palace Dian to the emperor in the lower realm. Because he wanted the emperor to be good, he asked Emperor Zaojun to go down to the lower realm to negotiate the price.

After seeing the court, the people in the court were surprised and said: "Why are the people sent by the heaven so evil?" Lord Zao smiled and said, "No one in the world does anything for nothing."

Everyone laughed and said, "It's clear that we are the comprador."

Jia Cong also clapped and laughed: "Sister Bao, this joke is so serious."

Jia Huan was the middle-aged girl among the sisters. She was embarrassed not to smile, but also embarrassed to laugh. She only laughed twice. Gods are like this, not to mention that I am a mortal, and I can laugh with peace of mind.

The drum beat again, and this time the flowers fell into Daiyu's hands.

Because Baochai, Pearl and Jade were in front, Daiyu was not to be outdone. She thought for a while and said: "It was a great competition, and a talented fortune teller divined a tortoise. He got a good image, and he was sure to succeed in this science. He was overjoyed and took the tortoise shell with him. Take it with you.

At the end of the day, everyone was called to enter, and the chief examiner came up with the questions. The purpose was at a loss, and I couldn't write a word all day long. Because he caressed the turtle and sighed, "I don't believe how such a good turtle can't write!" '"

Baoyu laughed and applauded repeatedly. He liked the jokes that ridiculed Lu Chong the most.

Everyone also laughed and said, "It's too mean to be narrow-minded."

Daiyu smiled arrogantly and glanced at Jia Cong, implying that this young lady is not inferior to some people.

Jia Cong smiled and leaned into her ear and whispered: "Qi'er and Sister Bao were in love for a while. They are not only good at telling jokes, Cong knows it very well." Daiyu's face turned red, she pushed him away quickly and spat: "Dirty stuff."

Next, the Osmanthus fragrans fell into Jia Huan's hands without any suspense. This was his strong point. Because he was eager to say, "I told you this joke, but you have never heard it before. You laughed so hard that you broke your belly."

Baoqin said: "Speak quickly."

Jia Huan said with a smile: "But let's just say it first. In the mountains and rivers, it's hard to find a true friend. If you don't feel good about it, just blame yourself for not understanding it. It's not that my jokes are bad."

Xichun spat: "What a ridiculous joke, we can't understand it, it's just a big joke."

Jia Cong knew what he was capable of and said with a smile: "Brother Huan, just tell me. Third brother, I will make my own decision."

Jia Huan cleared his throat and said: "A bride had extremely difficult labor. When the fetus was about to turn, she felt colic in her abdomen and wanted to die. She gave birth to a baby boy two or three days later.

The woman said to her husband: "I am almost on the verge of death for this piece of meat." Since there is such a son, the worship can be endless.

I wish I would never sleep on the acacia bed from now on. If I get pregnant and give birth again, I will not be able to live. If you miss the love between husband and wife, please live alone in different rooms to save the rest of your life.'"

At this point, there was a pause.

Xiangyun glared at him and said, "What's so funny?"

Wang Xifeng also spat: "You are so obscene that you actually make fun of women. You will know if it hurts until you give birth to a daughter in your next life."

Jia Cong said hurriedly: "There is more to come, why are you so anxious? Brother Huan, please tell me."

Jia Huan chuckled and said, "I will set up a couch in a separate room. Two months later, it's late one day and I'm about to fall asleep."

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. My husband was surprised and asked who it was. The woman said: 'Me. 'My husband asked you who you are? The woman said again: 'Me. '

My husband asked you who you really are? The woman laughed through the window: "Here comes a man who is not afraid of death. Open the door quickly." '"

Jia Cong sprayed a mouthful of vegetables on the ground and laughed.

Baochai, Daiyu, Fengjie'er, Youshi, Li Wan, Keqing and other women all had red faces, couldn't help laughing, and cursed repeatedly.

The girls Yingchun, Tanchun, Xiangyun, Baoqin, Xiuyan, Xichun and other girls didn't react for a while and were stunned for a while. Then they blushed and lowered their heads, secretly scolding Jia Huan for being a bastard.

After enduring it for a moment, he couldn't help it anymore, so he sneered and scolded Jia Huan again, trying to hide it, for fear that others would know that he understood the joke.

Although Baoyu couldn't help but laugh, he still stamped his feet and cursed: "Damn it, damn it, no matter how you say these vile things, you are not afraid of offending the sisters."

Seeing that the girls were embarrassed, Jia Huan hurriedly sat down and laughed dryly: "I heard what my mother said, but I don't quite understand it either."

Jia Cong hurriedly protected him and said: "It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. The sisters gather just for fun. Brother Huan's joke is very good. If you have the ability, you can tell a better one."

Yin asked to continue playing the drums, and as expected, there were no more jokes than him.

This makes Jia Huan proud.

After the banquet, Jia Cong said with a smile: "Brother Huan is going to guard the border tomorrow. I have nothing to give you. I only found a good horse for you. It's called Jade Lion. You can ride it."

"Thank you, Third Brother." Jia Huan was overjoyed. He had long been salivating over Jia Cong's A Thousand Miles of Light, but he had no money to buy a BMW.
-
The next day, the sisters saw Jia Huan off, and Jia Cong went to the prison to visit Zhen Yuan.

When the jailers saw him coming, they hurriedly lined up to greet him.

"Are the women of the Zhen family okay?" Jia Cong asked.

The prisoner Baihu who was on duty today said hurriedly: "My lord, all the female relatives are doing well. The low-ranking officials specially cleaned the cells, prepared beds and quilts, and locked them tightly. They served good food and rice every day, and they were warm. Tea and hot water are kept constant, and if there is any illness, please consult a doctor.”

Jia Cong nodded and entered the prison cell. He saw two or three people in the Zhen family sharing a room with one bed per person, which was quite comfortable.

When the women saw him coming in, they hurriedly greeted him and asked Zhen Yuan to agree.

Jia Cong cupped his hands and said, "Madams, grandmothers, and girls, I have wronged you for a few days."

"No grievance, no grievance. Thank you so much for your kindness. The Zhen family is satisfied and warm."

Jia Cong ordered someone to open Zhen Yuan's cell and said, "Sister Yuan, come with me. I have a few words to say to you."

Zhen Yuan remained silent and followed him out to the inner room of the admiral's residence.

"Sister Yuan, please sit down." Jia Cong saw that she was a little haggard and said hurriedly.

Zhen Yuan glanced at him, shook his head and said, "Please ask the Duke for your inquiry, I will just stand and answer."

Jia Cong secretly sighed, this is the difference between a girl who is in a cell and a girl who is not in a cell. Even if he takes care of her, she will end up in prison. Zhen Yuan is no longer as proud as before and has become low and low in self-esteem.

"What do I want you to say in reply? Why are you being polite to me?" Jia Cong stood up, held her shoulders, and pushed her into the chair.

"No, please don't touch me, my lord, I'm not clean." Zhen Yuan turned around like a frightened deer in a hurry and ran away.

After staying in prison for two days, without changing clothes and without the conditions for bathing and washing, Zhen Yuan just wanted to stay away from Jia Cong to avoid embarrassment and preserve the last bit of dignity for herself.

Jia Cong hurriedly consoled her: "In my heart, sister Yuan is the cleanest person in the world. I love the lotus that emerges from the mud but is not stained, and the pure ripples are clean without being evil."

When Zhen Yuan heard this, her eyes turned red and she almost cried. She wanted to throw herself into Jia Cong's arms and cry happily, but she was afraid of hurting him.

Jia Cong went over and hugged her gently and said, "Sister Yuan, I was negligent. I didn't expect that your daughter's family, Aijie, last time I was in jail, I didn't take a shower."

Zhen Yuan sneered, and suddenly felt that it was not a big deal if he didn't take a shower for two or three days. If it lasted for a long time... he also felt a little disgusted in his heart. If he didn't take a shower for a month, I wouldn't want him to hug me.

Jia Cong said with a smile: "I have everything in my room. Why don't you wash it in my place? After you finish washing, let the sisters wash it one by one." He pointed to the screen and there was a yellow inside. Huali's big bathtub.

Um? Can I take a bath? Zhen Yuan was a little moved, but she glanced at Jia Cong secretly, and shook her head, thinking how decent she was to take a shower in his room.

Jia Cong laughed softly and said, "Are you afraid that I can peek? I'm a well-known gentleman. I can sit in my arms without getting messy. If you don't believe me, try it."

"Bah, I won't try." Zhen Yuan spat with a red face.

"Forget it, if you don't want to wash it, forget it. If you get lice in a few days, don't blame me for not reminding you. The prison cell is not clean." Jia Cong said with a smile.

"There are lice?!" Zhen Yuan almost jumped up. She had never seen such a creature before. Thinking of having such a thing on her body, she felt vague itching everywhere.

Jia Cong spread his hands and said, "Isn't this normal?"

"Brother Cong... I want to take a bath..." Zhen Yuan did not dare to be stubborn anymore and said hurriedly.

"Okay, I'll ask them to bring hot water immediately." Jia Cong's eyes lit up and he ran out happily.

Zhen Yuan bit her lip and spat at his back, her face was as red as a blush, she didn't know what a mess he had.

After a while, several captains took turns carrying hot water in, and filled most of the bucket of water in an instant. A clever little strongman also very thoughtfully picked up many petals from the sweet-scented osmanthus in the yard and threw them into the bathtub.

Seeing Jia Cong standing with his arms folded, looking like he was waiting for a good show, Zhen Yuan felt ashamed and embarrassed, and said angrily: "You still won't go out."

Jia Cong said: "Aren't I afraid that they will break in without a clue and scare you? They won't dare to break in while I'm here. If you don't trust me, then I'll go out and you wash slowly. "After speaking, he turned around and left.

"Come back." When Zhen Yuan heard that someone might break in, her heart suddenly jumped and she hurriedly called him.

Jia Cong bounced back with a whoosh: "Sister Yuan, what are your orders?"

"You, don't leave, go sit outside for a while, okay?" Zhen Yuan said with a blushing face.

"With your order, I'll guard the outside for you." Jia Cong smiled and sat outside. (End of chapter)