Football: Don’t talk about feelings, I’m just an AI

"3:2! Arsenal changed their fate against the odds and tied the total score at 6:6. If this score can be maintained until the final whistle, then Arsenal will advance!"

"The Emirates Stadium went crazy, and all the fans were chanting Xia Qi's name feverishly."

"Oh, Xia Qi is so irrational that he took off his clothes to celebrate. He got a yellow card! Brother, this is completely unnecessary."

Different from Zhang Lu’s complaints and criticisms, Xia Qi’s hardcore fan Zhan Jun explained:

"This yellow card is indeed a bit unnecessary, but it makes sense if you think about it carefully. Arsenal's game tonight was really too depressing.

I guess Xia Qi himself was extremely depressed. Fortunately, he withstood the pressure in the end. How could he care so much when the pressure was released? "

"If you are young and not frivolous, you will be called a young man in vain. If you have a topaz card to commemorate your wanton youth, it will always be more exciting than an ordinary life..."

The moment Xia Qi scored the goal, his blood boiled. This was the first time that he had passed five levels and killed six generals on his own! What's particularly important is that this goal is the "final decisive goal", which is so damn exciting!

The referee Rizzoli waited until Xia Qi returned from the celebration and gave him a yellow card. Xia Qi had no excuse for this and just smiled innocently.

The game continues,

Although Bayern suffered a blow, it actually aroused their ferocious nature. After all, as the Bundesliga class leader, they have the arrogance in their bones to look down upon all things.

After losing the ball, Bayern launched a fierce offensive towards Arsenal's goal.

The total score of the two teams is tied at 6:6, with only one goal separating the winner and the loser. It is the 82nd minute of the game, and everything is still undecided...

Bayern's frontcourt trident appears to be more and more active.

But the Arsenal players' confidence was boosted, they found their own rhythm, and were no longer afraid of Bayern's offensive.

Robben broke through with the ball. When faced with the defense of two people, he pretended to pass the ball to Mandzukic. When the defensive player was tangled, he suddenly sent the football between the two people and bypassed himself...

"Beautiful ball passing..."

However, Peter Pan's breakthrough would only end there.

Cazorla made a fierce tackle and knocked over Robben with the ball.

Thunderous cheers immediately erupted in the Emirates Stadium, and the fans enthusiastically shouted: "Stuck in the thigh!" "Stuck in the thigh!" "Stuck in the thigh!". This is Cazorla's biggest award.

However, the referee Rizzoli was in a terrible situation. He ran over and showed Cazorla a yellow card and gave Bayern a free kick in the frontcourt.

In an instant, the Emirates Stadium was filled with boos, as if they were in a donkey's stable.

Wenger immediately asked Aaron Ramsey to warm up, preparing to replace Cazorla, who was stained with yellow.

Whether the team's waist is strong or not is related to the team's offense and defense. The yellow Cazorla will not dare to do many actions because of the yellow robe, so it is correct to replace him.

Zhang Lu from Penguin Live also gave Wenger's substitutions a high rating.

However, Xia Qi was about to cry on the court.

At this time, Arsenal's midfielders on the court are Xia Qi, De Bruyne, Theo Walcott, Gnabry and Aaron Ramsey who is about to play.

Xia Qi didn't need to guess to know that Aaron Ramsey's first words after coming on the field were definitely: Captain, don't shoot, the Imperial Army asked me to bring you a message (ahem, it's a conspiracy)

Captain, the boss asked me to give you a message, you go play as a defensive midfielder...

But Xia Qi is not that Xia Qi, and not everyone can play this waist.

On the court, Xia Qi gathered his mood and solved Bayern's free kick first.

Bayern's frontcourt free kick was taken by Robben himself after discussion with the Bayern players.

He took two steps back and stood still with a serious expression on his face, looking directly at the Arsenal goal.

Judging from his posture, it is clear that he wants to "take the sword out of its sheath and kill him with one move!"

really,

After the referee's whistle sounded, Robben took a run and shot directly. The football went over the wall and the crossbar.

Arsenal fans were stunned for half a second before bursting into laughter and shouting: "Plane, the plane disappeared over the Emirates Stadium."

Robben ran back expressionlessly...

After the free kick, Aaron Ramsey came on the court, and as expected, Xia Qi played the midfielder position.

Xia Qi waved to goalkeeper Martinez for the ball with a confident expression on his face, and at the same time asked his teammates to disperse.

In my heart, I was actually panicking.

...

...

Seeing that Xia Qi did not take the initiative to get the ball, but passively waited for the football to roll over, Schweinsteiger's eyes lit up. Was he distracted?

He was immediately overjoyed and rushed towards Xia Qi, trying to cut off the football before Xia Qi.

Xia Qi's mind was in chaos, but when he saw Bastian Schweinsteiger rushing toward him, his vision suddenly became clear.

Just like the moment the examinee picked up the examination paper, his anxious heart suddenly calmed down...

The instinct from the body almost requires no thinking. Xia Qi did not step forward to fight for the football. Instead, he turned his body with his back to Schweinsteiger and blocked him behind him with a side step.
The football rolled past Xia Qi, and De Bruyne got the football not far away.

Xia Qi's debut as a defensive midfielder stunned the audience.

Rainbow farts were flying all over the Penguin live broadcast room.

"This leak not only defended Bastian Schweinsteiger, but also sounded the clarion call for Arsenal's attack. This is a leak from God's perspective."

On the court, De Bruyne passed the football to Balotelli. Under the interference of the defenders, the latter's shot hit the side net and failed to convert Xia Qi's leak into a goal.

Neuer took a goal kick and Xia Qi ushered in the "high school entrance examination".

Alaba is an offensive full-back, and Ribery, needless to say, is one of the best left midfielders in the world.

The cooperation between the two on the left is Bayern's main scoring method.

Walcott was defending Ribery when Alaba suddenly came in from behind.

Ribery pretended to pass the ball to Alaba, tricking Walcott into defending, but actually passed the ball to Gotze in the middle.

This is Guardiola's tactics, which are more complex and dangerous than Seamaster's tactics.

After the football was passed, Ribery cut and ran.

Gotze passed an overhead ball to Alaba, but Alaba did not catch it, imitating Xia Qi, and blocked Walcott.

The football was passed to Ribery who rushed up from behind.

This leak is also very beautiful.

When Ribery unloaded the football from the air to his feet, Xia Qi was the only defensive player in front of him, and the others were blocked by Gotze and Alaba.

Xia Qi's "high school entrance examination" is here.

Ribery didn't know that the Xia Qi in front of him was not the same Xia Qi. The losses suffered last season were still vivid in his mind. He didn't dare to stop the football where he was.
As soon as the football hit the ground, he used the outside instep of his left foot to push it toward the baseline.

Is this a cross or an inside cut? ? ?

Xia Qi didn't dare to neglect and quickly turned around to chase after him.
Because Xia Qi wanted to turn around, Ribery was faster,

He caught up with the football and then made a pass.

Xia Qi had just arrived and saw Ribery about to pass the ball. Regardless of his right leg still lagging behind, he couldn't wait to stretch his left foot forward, hoping that he could stop the football.

However, Ribery's cross was just a fake move. Seeing Xia Qi's focus, he immediately pulled the ball and changed its direction.

At this time, Xia Qi, who had already surrendered his center of gravity, wanted to change direction and intercept, regardless of his actual situation.
I couldn't coordinate my head and feet, so I groaned and sat down on the ground...

"Ribery knocked down Xia Qi! This will become a famous scene."

"Xia Qi's defense has dropped a level. Wenger should change Xia Qi's defense coach. The current coach is misleading."

The few Bayern fans in the stands burst into loud cheers, and the sound was even more cheerful than their own goal.

Between scoring goals and Xia Qi making a fool of himself, Bayern fans were more happy to see Xia Qi make a fool of himself.

Affected by this, Ribery, who has passed the pass, is very eager to score goals. If he can score goals, Xia Qi will become his background wall and constantly appear on various news channels.

However, things often get what you ask for, and Ribery, who cut inside to hit the goal, hit the side net with a shot. When Xia Qi fell,
The bitter ridicule of Bayern fans aroused Xia Qi's competitive spirit.

He knows that in the next round, Ribery and Alaba will continue to attack this wing.

Because the riding-face-output is very tempting! ! !

The face that rides the "Golden Globe" is even more attractive. (Top 3 Golden Globe Awards)
But I definitely wouldn’t give him this face.

Without Al, I am not someone to be bullied.

Xia Qi's strong desire to compete made him temporarily ignore the gap between himself and Al.

Sitting on the ground, when he heard the roar of laughter from the stands, he was not angry. Instead, he smiled, looking very calm, but in fact, there was a majestic flame hidden in his heart.

When Xia Qi was knocked down by Ribery, the Internet exploded.

"Is there something wrong with Xia Qi's health? He's not in optimal condition. This shouldn't be the case!"

"Scar Man's double speed is very fast, so it's normal for Xia Qi to be unable to guard against it."

"Fart! Xia Qi's double speed is not bad, okay? He may have underestimated the enemy. His right leg did not exert force when it should have exerted force..."

"Blow, blow hard! No matter how much the defensive rubbish is washed away, it will still be rubbish. I don't believe that Xia Qi will be knocked down by Ribery later."

"I bet, Xia Qi still can't defend him in the next round. If he loses, I'll take advantage of it live."

Xia Chui and Xia Hei had a quarrel on the Internet.
On the football field, Ribery struck again. This time he chose to cooperate with Alaba against the wall.

After Ribery passed the football, he rushed forward and then received the football behind De Bruyne.

The cheers of the Bayern fans in the stands once again occupied the entire stadium. They were not cheering for Ribery passing De Bruyne, but seeing Ribery getting the football and rushing towards Xia Qi.

The Arsenal fans stood up from their seats with heavy faces and looked towards the stadium with their hearts in their throats.

"Get past him!"

"Get past him!"

"Get past that boy!"

Arsenal fans were unhappy when they heard Bayern fans shouting like this.

They fought back: "Destroy him!" "Destroy him!" Some extreme people even shouted loudly:
"Kick his legs off!"

Fans on both sides fought with their voices. On the court, Xia Qi also ushered in his own battle.

Ribery dribbled the ball forward and kept an eye on Xia Qi from the corner of his eye.

He expected Xia Qi to throw a flying tackle at him, so that he could make full use of his speed.

With speed, he fears no one!
Ribery glanced at Xia Qi from the corner of his eye while calculating the distance between the two.

As long as Xia Qi's center of gravity sinks, he will poke the football out and then jump over Xia Qi.

He had already planned to fart in the air in Xia Qi's face, haha... It was too disgusting, so he had to use his mouth. In short, he must anger Xia Qi and make him suffer.

Out of the corner of his eye, Xia Qi indeed made a flying shovel move.

So why are you hesitating?
Follow the script,
Ribery thrust the football forward, and Xia Qi cleared it.

In an instant,
Bayern fans cheered in victory.

At the same time, Ribery jumped up immediately, intending to pass over Xia Qi.

He did act according to the script, but Xia Qi didn't follow the routine.

This is not Xia Qi in the AI ​​state. This flying shovel action is not standard. It is a scissor kick like a beginner. The scissor kick is a yellow card action.

One of his feet slipped on the ground, while the other foot was raised high in the air.

Ribery never expected that Xia Qi, who was wearing a yellow robe, would make a card-taking move, and he was caught off guard and tripped up.

What a coincidence, the onomatopoeic fart sound made by the mouth changed when he fell down, and turned into the sound of shitting.

Then he fell down.

Xia Qi was stunned. He had never thought of hurting anyone intentionally. It was because he was not skilled enough.

I didn’t even expect that I would trip Ribery out of trouble.

Damn it,

See you soon,

After playing football for so long, I have never heard of anyone kicking shit on the field.

But that sound just now... it was obviously that, there was no mistaking it.

Xia Qi quickly helped Ribery up.

"Did you pull it out?"

Xia Qi asked while turning his head to look at Ribery's butt.

It was almost the end of the game, and there was no clean spot on the player's shorts, and there was just a large grass stain on that spot.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it. Please go down and change into some shorts."

Ribery was confused by Xia Qi's question at first, but now he saw the look of disgust on Xia Qi's face and immediately understood what he was talking about.

"I don't!"

"Beep!"

Referee Rizzoli ran over.

"Mr. Referee, I tripped the shit out of Frank. He needs to get off the field and change his jersey."

"I didn't! Don't talk nonsense!"

Ribery was anxious. Although this would put Xia Qi, who had two yellows and one red, out of the game, he would definitely become the laughing stock of the world.

This misunderstanding must be explained clearly.

"But I heard a sound."

"Don't talk nonsense, that, that, that is..."

Players from both sides quickly gathered around when the whistle blew.

Hearing Xia Qi say that he tripped Ribery out of shit, he invariably looked at Ribery's butt, and then invariably had a look of disgust on his face,
Balotelli couldn't control himself and laughed out loud like a pig.

Ribery was anxious, really anxious. He didn't care about anything else. He poured the beans into the bamboo tube and revealed everything.

"Mr. Referee, I saw Xia Qi coming with a shovel. When I wanted to jump over him, I farted loudly, which angered him. The fart was not made with my butt but with my mouth. The result..."

While talking, Ribery became anxious and wiped the grass stain on his butt with his hand and showed it to everyone.

"Look, this is not shit..."

The onlookers dispersed in a hurry. It doesn’t matter if you are, I will treat you as one.

Referee Rizzoli suppressed a smile and asked: "Are you sure you don't have to go off the field?"

Ribery nodded quickly. If he continued, he would not be able to explain clearly, and his "shit name" would immediately become famous far and wide.

After receiving the exact reply, Rizzoli turned to Xia Qi and said, "Do you know that the move you just made was a dangerous move?"

Xia Qi nodded and immediately pretended to be pitiful to express that he would not do it again.

Franck Ribery stood aside and said: "Yellow card, two yellows combined into one."

If Ribery does not take the blame, Rizzoli may play his cards. After all, he is known for his precision and severity in the refereeing world.

However, being angered by Ribery, and thinking of Ribery's malicious intentions and Xia Qi's sincere attitude, the two became completely different sides when compared.

In the end, he did not take out the cards and only gave Xia Qi a verbal warning. This also became a controversial point after the game.

On the sidelines of the court, Guardiola angrily protested to the fourth official... (End of chapter)