Conan's self-cultivation of fake wine

Chapter 316 Too bad, be careful before entering

Written at the beginning: If you don’t read this chapter, it won’t affect the subsequent plot. Think of it as a side story. The entire story is filled with dialogue, and it is completely different from the protagonist’s usual image.

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At night, in the backyard of Aido grocery store.

Lu Ren only drank a sip of wine and chatted endlessly.

“When I became aware of my unconsciousness, there was no way out.”

"Most of the so-called slowness is pretended. How can a normal person not know whether someone likes or hates you? The slow type either exists in fantasy works, or else he is an out-and-out person who plays with emotions and is indecisive. Scum."

"Everyone is a visual creature. I am no exception. Whether you like someone or not, you must first look at their face. If they are good-looking, others will gradually discover the excellent qualities of this person. I am the same. At first I just thought He looked good, and then I thought he was a very nice person.”

"I……"

Lu Ren stopped talking and sighed.

The atmosphere fell silent again.

The eldest brother Xiong Jianguo sat opposite Lu Ren, drinking one cup after another. There was no appetizer on the table in front of them.

But it doesn't matter, what I drank today was boring wine.

What Lu Ren said was the food to go with the wine.

After a while, seeing that Lu Ren still didn't speak, the eldest brother put down the wine glass in his hand and looked behind Lu Ren with empty eyes.

"What are you going to do?"

Lu Ren was silent, "I don't know."

The eldest brother nodded, took the wine bottle and poured himself another glass. He raised his head and drank it in one gulp. He lowered his voice and said, "Then let me tell you a story first."

"……Um."

"I have been strong since I was a child, and I eat a lot. Farming, building walls, carrying big bags are the same as playing. Others take one bag at a time, but I have two or three bags at a time. I am a famous young man in Shiliba Village. In this way, I I married the most handsome local girl as my mother-in-law. At that time, I felt that I was the happiest person in the world. I held my head high wherever I went. But young people, young people. If you don’t eat a little bit, you don’t know how high the sky is.

But no one can beat me. No one can beat me. No one dared to hit me, not even my parents. That's how I took the wrong turn. I kept making mistakes again and again until I could no longer look back, until I met someone who could beat me and dared to beat me.

I have thought of myself as a hero for half my life, but in the end I was just a bear. The bear fled here in panic with his pregnant woman. I was the only one born in the family, and my parents couldn’t afford to raise more children. This one of mine is enough to feed four or five people. How can we continue to live with such a loser?

I thought it was okay, I could eat, but I was better at working and fighting. I patted my chest and said to my parents, ‘As long as I’m here, you can just enjoy yourself. ’ That’s exactly what I did. How much money can you make by working and farming? I pretended to be the big brother, wore sunglasses, smoked imported cigars, and had a bunch of younger brothers. Worship Guan Gong, the word "righteousness" comes first. We share blessings and share hardships.

I made money, big money. I brought my parents from the countryside to the city, let them live in a big house, and hired a little girl to take care of them at home. They didn't know what I did for a living, they just thought I was doing business.

I feel that I am worthy of my parents and I am filial enough. Can other filial sons let their parents live in a big house? I can.

Now...I am a filial tortoise. No one provides them with old age care. I am an unfilial son and a bastard. I bought so much paper money and burned it for my parents every year. Is it useful? It's useless. When a person dies, he dies.

People I know helped me escape here and found a place for me to live. Keren needs to eat. How to eat without money. I don’t understand this, and I can’t make any money. I kowtowed to others and went to work illegally. Even this was not enough. My mother-in-law, who was pregnant with a baby, was doing laundry to earn money. This is how the root of the disease came to be.

Later we had children and some money. I opened such a grocery store and worked there for only a few years. My mother-in-law also left. The girl was only four or five years old at the time. Her name was Xiong Meili, a name given to her by her mother-in-law, who hoped that her daughter would be as beautiful as her in the future. "

Xiong Jianguo wiped the corners of his eyes, "She's really pretty."

"Now my daughter is also married, has her own family, and has her own children. Her husband is a Japanese, and he is not bad. She chose it by herself. I originally wanted to let her go home and return to her roots. No. Thinking of her getting married and staying here like this. I didn't stop her.

I hate the Japanese, but I hate myself even more. I am not qualified to make decisions for my daughter.

My daughter asked me to come and live with them. He said that his grandson misses me as his grandfather. I refused. A three or four year old boy knows nothing. They have their lives. You don’t need one more asshole like me.

There are also young people who come to my store. According to this statement, they seem to be from the Heisei generation? Some of these people shout one sentence, 'Reconcile yourself'. I think it makes sense. It’s just that I can’t do it, and I won’t do it. Perhaps only I can remember what happened in the past. enough. "

With that said, the eldest brother picked up the wine glass again and looked at the wine in the glass under the moonlight.

The wine that usually drained away easily now seemed to be on fire.

It's hot to the touch, I can't drink it, I can't put it down.

"Brother, don't drink it." "Well, then don't drink it." The elder brother poured the wine in the cup into the courtyard, "Wine is not a good thing. If you can't help it, then don't drink it."

"Ah."

"Now, do you know what to do?"

Lu Ren was silent again.

For a long time, "I don't know."

"You don't like her?"

"like."

"She doesn't like you?"

"like."

"Then what are you talking about? Didn't I make it clear enough? There are only so many decades in life. Do you really think that at my age, you regret it as much as I do?"

"I just don't know what to do because I don't want to regret it." Lu Ren also raised his glass and poured the wine into the courtyard.

Today's wine is too bad to drink.

"After I graduated from college, I worked in a company. I worked alone for five or six years, and I was about to graduate to my third degree. I had never been in a relationship, and no one pushed me. She was only 18 or 17. There was a gap between me and her. Teenagers.

Age certainly doesn't matter. It's just that I have always regarded her as a sister, or even as a daughter. My parents died when I was 18 years old. I once had family affection, but then I lost it without warning. The more people lose something, the more they cherish something.

She also lost loved ones. I just thought, I will be her relative. I just thought about giving her all the things I had longed to have but never had. But I didn’t expect…”

"How do you say that word?" Xiong Jianguo lowered his head and thought for a while, "Family love has gone bad?"

"...Probably. It's my fault. It's because I didn't think carefully, and it's because I didn't use the right method. It's because I didn't learn the correct way and distance to get along with people. It's not enough to be sincere.

I messed up. "

"..."

"Then there is love. I believe that there is beautiful love, such as the story of you and your sister-in-law, my parents. They are also very loving. It's just that I don't deserve it. I am jealous, jealous, selfish, and I know what kind of person I am. .

I believe that a good relationship is - we will be independent and free from each other; we will respect each other. Give each other good love and emotional value; in this love, we continue to discover our potential value and make ourselves better. Instead of torturing each other and becoming more and more tired and embarrassed.

I believe it and I desire it. But I know I can't do it.

The more I tortured my heart, the more I discovered that my soul was dirty and weak.

Weak, weak and fragile.

I try hard to meet people's expectations of me, but only I know that I am not that person at all.

That child is very important to me and I like her very much. I think she is very similar to me. The pain she had experienced, the tears she shed secretly. I've experienced it too, and I've cried too.

She's fine, she's just like me. She is different from me, she is kind and strong. Instead of being like me, who is clean on the outside but full of all kinds of negative emotions on the inside.

She is the ideal me, but she should not be me either. I want her to be better, not like me.

As a relative, I can tolerate her, protect her, and give everything without reservation. Family love cannot be divided. Even if she leaves me and goes somewhere else. Her place in my heart will not change. As long as she is happy.

But to become a lover, I don’t know how to do it, and I don’t know if I can do it. I have never been loved and I don’t know how to love others. If we stay together forever, will I get bored with her? Will she discover her shortcomings? Will she do the same? Discovered that I wasn’t actually who she thought I was. It didn't meet her expectations.

What should I do then, and what will she do?
  Will I part ways with her because I am inappropriate at that time and no longer care about her as much as I do now?

From my only relative, he became a passerby in my life.

I don't know, and I don't want to know. "

"You selfish bastard." Xiong Jianguo was so angry that he overturned the table and poured the wine all over Lu Ren. "Go away and don't bother me with this kind of problem again."

"……Feel sorry."

Lu Ren stood up and left.

(End of this chapter)