I am reborn and refuse to be a sickly rich woman

Chapter 373 Yao Mingyue: It’s a pity that I haven’t seen the day of gray hair. (Important subscription chapter!)

Yao Mingyue's heart problems have existed for a long time and can be said to be congenital.

Yao Mingyue calmed down and gently raised her head from Xu Musen's arms. She knew she could no longer hide her emotions.

Xu Musen sat on the bench so that her head could rest lightly on his shoulder.

"Do you remember that when I was a child, I actually developed a little slower than my peers.

Sometimes I have some symptoms of hypoglycemia and anemia, and I always feel a little dizzy from time to time. As a result, I rarely do any strenuous exercise. Most of the time, I just watch the lively and cheerful children of the same age running and playing happily.

This is even more so in winter. It’s like I’ve been put on pause. I hide in bed every day but my hands and feet are still cold. I’m always sick every winter…”

Before entering junior high school, she was always small, following behind Xu Musen every day, a little follower who would pant if she walked fast.

These problems improved slightly when she grew up, but her heart problem was never completely resolved.

Of course Xu Musen remembered that Yao Mingyue was very beautiful when she was a child, but her face was always pale, like a very delicate little porcelain doll that would break if touched.

Holding Yao Mingyue's hand, Xu Musen nodded, a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth to ease the atmosphere: "Well, of course I remember, when you were so small, you could never gain weight, and sometimes I would be in trouble when I met a bigger dog."

"I'm not as weak as you say!"

Yao Mingyue's sad mood was somewhat dampened by what he said, but looking at his cheeky appearance, he felt very warm holding her hand.

Just like when he was a child, he always looked mean, but as long as there was something delicious or fun, he would always save it for her first.

She snorted.

"Anyway, I didn't develop well before and didn't eat much. Otherwise, I would definitely be..."

As Yao Mingyue spoke, she glanced down quietly. Her strength was still a little short of not being able to see her toes when she looked down.

Otherwise, with her mother's genetic genes for body proportions, she could definitely compete with a certain warm and big watermelon!

No, why do you need such a big breast? It will only make your shoulders sore and your clothes won't look good. It's just to make someone like you more. Bah! I don't need to be liked by this dead scumbag who only cares about breasts and not people!

So, Xu Musen was stepped on again.

Xu Musen looked at her slightly red eyes that were filled with resentment. He knew what this petty-minded girl was thinking: "I didn't say anything. What are you imagining?"

"You wouldn't have thought..."

Yao Mingyue pulled him again in a faint voice and slowly leaned on his shoulder. She used to be very jealous, even jealous of her mother. Sometimes she would even complain about why her mother didn't pass on such a good figure to him.

And looking at Nuannuan, you can tell that Xu Musen, this superficial guy, just likes this!
But now, Yao Mingyue really doesn’t have the energy to continue being jealous.

“In fact, my parents took me to see many doctors since I was a child, but the conclusions were always the same.

I have a congenitally weak heart, just like most people have a 2.0 engine, but I only have a 1.0, so it's usually fine.

But when winter comes, or when the body changes, or when you experience any emotional ups and downs, it’s easy to “lay down.”

Yao Mingyue laughed, and it was clearly a joking tone, but it always sounded so sad and bitter.

Xu Musen held her hand silently and listened to her story.

"The doctor's advice is conservative treatment. Radical surgery is too risky. It will get better as you get older, but it will be difficult for you to live as long as an ordinary person..."

Yao Mingyue is like a brilliant flower blooming in the youth, blooming passionately but also withering faster than ordinary people.

It's just that Yao Mingyue's personality has changed little by little over the years, making her increasingly strong and learning to hide her vulnerable side in her heart.

In the eyes of outsiders, she has completely transformed from a little follower who only hid behind Xu Musen to a perfect goddess who is envied in every aspect.

It was so perfect that everyone thought she was really fine. Even Liu Rushuang gradually believed that her precious daughter's illness was really getting better as she grew older.

All the efforts she made were tangled and twisted in her heart, becoming the catalyst for her to develop a yandere personality...

Xu Musen gently stroked her head and looked at her red eyes and pale face.

Just like when they were children, that winter when the two of them walked home hand in hand, Xu Musen had to warm her little feet for a long time before she looked so pitiful.

"Why didn't you tell me these things earlier?"

Xu Musen did not blame her, but he had never heard her and Liu Rushuang mention these things. Xu's father and mother only knew that Yao Mingyue was a little weak, and they did not know that she had such a serious problem.

"Letting you know will only make you worry, so it's better for me to choose alone..." Yao Mingyue lowered her head, her feet slightly together in the wheelchair, feeling conflicted and sad.

"If I don't even have the right to worry about you anymore, that would make me sadder than if I had to worry about you."

Xu Musen couldn't help but tap her forehead gently: "If you want to do everything by yourself, then what am I?"

Xu Musen's words were indeed filled with some angry reproach.

Yao Mingyue was looked at by him with stern eyes, but her heart was warm. She understood this feeling.

They have been together since childhood and have experienced almost everything together. They are no longer distinguishable from each other.

If there really is a secret between each other, and they are deliberately hiding the secret from each other, then for the other person it will be like a dull pain that is being torn apart.

Yao Mingyue knew this feeling of "betrayal", but... she looked at Xu Musen's determined eyes.

The more gentle he was, the more Yao Mingyue's heart ached. She was afraid that the harder it would be to let go now, the harder it would be to separate in the future.

What if... What if she doesn't survive the operating table, then everything now will only become another layer of ice and snow in the cold winter of her future life.

"I have wanted to tell you before."

Yao Mingyue's voice paused slightly as she remembered something.

"Do you remember those three years in my last life when I suddenly left after my junior year?"

"I remember."

Xu Musen nodded. He always remembered that although the two of them were a little awkward during college, it was obvious that they were slowly starting to move towards the identity of a real couple.

Yao Mingyue also promised him that they would get married after they graduated from university.

But before graduation, Yao Mingyue disappeared without a trace, and Liu Rushuang did not reveal a single word. They were separated for three whole years.

Xu Musen looked at Yao Mingyue: "So, during those three years, did you choose one person to undergo surgery?"

"Well... I'm sorry for making you wait for three years. Don't blame my mom. It was me who didn't let her tell anyone."

There were mists in Yao Mingyue's eyes. She was ready to die alone, so what kind of pressure must she be facing?

Moreover, at that time, Xu Musen was just an ordinary college student, and Xu's father and mother's company had just started again. They could not withstand such a blow, so it would be better for her to bear it all by herself.

"I don't blame Auntie, nor do I blame you. I'm just a little sad. I feel like I've never really helped you and the family since I was a child, but you always think about me, which makes me feel like I'm a very selfish person."

Xu Musen took a deep breath and said self-deprecatingly that the three years when Yao Mingyue disappeared was also a heavy blow to her. The person she loved most suddenly left without a word.

Especially after knowing that she was willing to leave, he felt even more depressed. Although he was powerless after knowing about this kind of thing, he could at least share some sorrows together. However, it seemed that he, his childhood sweetheart who was now in poverty, could not help anyone and could not change anything.

"Who said that!"

Yao Mingyue suddenly became excited. She placed her slightly cool little hand gently on Xu Musen's cheek: "Haven't you done your best to protect your sister Mingyue?"

Yao Mingyue gently stroked his cheek, her red eyes sparkling with luster: "Not everyone wants to be the savior of the world, and I don't like such people. I just remember that as long as I follow you, you always give me the first bite of food, and you always save your pocket money to buy me gifts. Every day after returning home, you warm my feet with your own stomach... To me, you are my own super hero! Humph, even Nuan Nuan can't compare to me!"

Yao Mingyue narrowed her eyes, a bright smile of pride on her face, as if she was showing off that she had a childhood sweetheart who was a great hero, who was the only one in the world that belonged to her.

"You praise me so much, but in fact you just don't want me to feel guilty. The more you do this, the more selfish I appear." Xu Musen looked at the warmth and pride in her eyes, which was like the warmest sunshine, and he no longer felt the cold wind from outside.

"If I have to talk about selfishness...I think I am the selfish one."

Yao Mingyue leaned gently on his shoulder: "I originally thought that I could bear all the consequences by myself, but when I was actually lying on the operating table, when I almost couldn't get off the operating table, I knew that I was not that strong, nor that great...

Really, Mu Sen, at that time I almost didn’t even have the chance to come back and find you again.”

Yao Mingyue and Xu Musen held hands even tighter, as if they were afraid that if they let go they would never be able to hold each other again.

Her whole body was shaking.

"So, after that time, my problem became even bigger. I was even more afraid of losing you. This fear made my desire for control grow stronger... But after all, I knew that with my own body, it would be difficult for me to grow old with you, and I might not be able to have our own children... So the more I was afraid, the more I wanted to control you. The more I got from you, the more I couldn't accept the possibility of losing you in the future..."

As Yao Mingyue spoke, her voice couldn't help but tremble with bitterness.

She knew that even if there had not been that car accident in her previous life, it would have been difficult for her and Xu Musen to grow old together.

Besides, it is impossible for anyone not to care about the issue of children. She is also in pain. What she is afraid of is not that the child will take away the love that Xu Musen gives her, but that if Xu Musen knows that she cannot have children... she will definitely feel more stressed.

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She knew that Xu Musen would definitely comfort her that everything was fine, but wouldn't this be even more unfair to him? This was equivalent to destroying all his hopes...

She is very selfish.

She knew it was not the right outcome, but she just refused to let go...

In this life.

After Yao Mingyue's memory gradually regained consciousness, she actually thought that Xu Musen had been deeply hurt by her in her previous life, so why not just let it go...

Anyway, he already has a girl by his side, so he can live a good life even without her, his disappointing childhood sweetheart.

But she still couldn't let go, she still wasn't willing to give up, she still wondered if she could... stay with him for another year or two, one or two months, or even one or two days.

But before she knew it, she was trapped again.

She couldn't help but shed tears again, sobbing on Xu Musen's shoulder, aggrieved and self-blaming: "I am so selfish... I know that you will still be sad in the future, and I know that disappearing in this life is the best choice, but I still want to be with you... Musen, I'm sorry, but I really like you..."

Xu Musen's heart felt like it was broken after hearing this. He gently hugged her shoulders and let her cry in his chest.

"I know... I know. I don't blame you. On the contrary, I think we should both be thankful. I'm thankful that I haven't really made up my mind to forget you, and I'm also thankful that you can continue to be selfish."

Xu Musen patted her back gently and smelled the faint rose scent on her body. This was the most unforgettable smell that had accompanied him in both of his lives.

"If you really choose to hide it from me in this life, and choose to miss each other, I will know about you sooner or later. If I know the truth at that time, I will really go crazy and will really be unable to forgive myself."

Xu Musen said softly, if the two people were really as stubborn as they were at the beginning, the two of them would have misunderstandings and "blames" towards each other.

Xu Musen can live a good life. He will have endless wealth, and he will have a good girl like An Nuannuan by his side.

However, the truth cannot be hidden after all.

If one day, Yao Mingyue in this life fails to survive, Xu Musen will really go crazy.

Because Yao Mingyue's yandere personality was formed, a large part of it was actually his fault...

As a childhood sweetheart and a husband, he could not guess what Yao Mingyue was really worried about.

They even questioned her about the child. For Yao Mingyue at the time, this undoubtedly broke her last psychological defense...

Xu Musen looked down at Yao Mingyue, gritted his teeth, and finally leaned over to her ear and said, "Mingyue, let's not have children in the future, and we will just live well together, okay?"

Yao Mingyue raised her head, tears welling up in her eyes. She looked at Xu Musen for a long time before shaking her head: "I know you like children, and I will like whatever you like... This is a pity, but it is also my choice this time."

"The arrival of a child must be the fruit of overflowing love, not a burden that drains a person. You should have told me earlier. I would never have said that to you in my previous life..."

Before Xu Musen could finish his words, Yao Mingyue gently covered his lips.

"I knew you would do this..." Yao Mingyue sniffed, her eyes flickering, "You have been used to spoiling me since you were a child, but the more you do this, the more uneasy I feel."

"What's there to worry about? I'm willing to pamper you. I'm happy to do so. I've been wanting this opportunity for a long time but haven't had it yet..."

Xu Musen helped her wipe the tears from the corners of her eyes. As dogs, they all do it voluntarily, not to mention that they never do it one-sidedly.

Yao Mingyue stared at him deeply, holding his cheek with one hand: "Xu Musen... I know, I know what you want to say, but I have really made up my mind this time. I want to try again. I have experience this time, and the success rate is already 50%. I think my luck will always be better this time. If it really doesn't work... maybe we can have another life?"

Yao Mingyue also spoke in a relaxed tone, but tears kept flowing from the corners of her eyes.

Who can guarantee that there will be another life?

Who can guarantee that even if there is a next generation, it will definitely have a good outcome?
"Mingyue, what I said is true. It's enough for me that you and I are fine..."

"I know, I know, you fool, you can't bear any injustice for me, but now I don't want to let you suffer any more..."

Yao Mingyue looked at Xu Musen's anxious eyes, and a tearful smile appeared on her pale cheeks: "Besides, you are not only responsible for me now, there is another girl who needs you too.

In fact, I am very happy to hear you say this to me today, and I also really understand what Nuannuan said to me, to love someone, you must give, to make the other person feel happy, and then you can say that you really love them, Nuannuan is really amazing... Although I don't want to admit it, but she is really good. "

Xu Musen was speechless for a long time.

Waiting for the fine snow in the sky to slowly cover the top of the head, as if it had dyed the hair of both people white.

Yao Mingyue's skin was made to look even whiter, her hands grew colder and colder, and every breath she took made her heart feel stuffy, but her eyes were extremely firm and passionate.

"Brother Musen, let me choose again in this life. I don't believe my luck will be so bad, and... I am still that selfish little girl. If I can bet right this time, I will still fight with Nuannuan for it again.

After all, we are childhood sweethearts and husband and wife in our previous lives. We have been together for a long time, but the only thing missing is the ending of growing old together. This time, let me be selfish again, okay, husband~"

Snowflakes were falling, and at this moment, the shoulders and heads of the two people seemed to be covered with a layer of white frost.

One word is brother, the other is husband.

The entanglement of two people in two lives, the past few decades, seemed to have passed through a long period of time in these two sentences.

Black hair turns white.

At this moment, the two people seemed to have crossed the time, looking at each other from afar, yet snuggling together tightly.

Xu Musen knew that he couldn't persuade her.

He held the girl in his arms for a long time, looking at her unwilling but relieved, gentle but stubborn, uneasy but determined...

Contradictory yet reasonable, that's her.

She is silly and yandere.

Xu Musen slowly stretched out his hand after a long time and gently flicked off the misty snowflakes on her hair, revealing her soft, ink-black long hair.

"Snowflakes can't dye our black hair, nor can they take away my sister Mingyue. We will definitely see each other's hair grow old together, right? My dear wife."

Xu Musen's voice was equally gentle and passionate, as if to melt the cold winter.

The two people looked at each other silently for a long time. When the wind and snow slowly fell on their heads again, Yao Mingyue's tears were flashing with smiles in the corners of her eyes.

"OK…"

So silly... So nice...

(End of this chapter)