I stole someone else's ticket to rebirth

Chapter 1 Whoever uses dirty words will lose
  "I have a bachelor's degree, so it's not too much to ask the other person to have a bachelor's degree, right?"

"Not too much."

"I have a car, so I ask the man to have a house. Isn't it too much?"

"Not too much."

"I have an annual salary of 300,000 yuan, so I want the man to have an annual salary of 500,000 yuan. Isn't that too much?"

"It's not too much."

In Jiangcheng's dating corner, a man and a woman were sitting face to face. The woman was talking calmly, with a confident expression on her face, while the man was answering perfunctorily.

The woman felt offended and asked: "Li Yang, what's your attitude? You are thirty-two years old, have never gone to college, have a savings of only 200,000, your parents have no pension, and you don't have a house or a car." , I’m already giving you a lot of face by being able to come here.”

Li Yang looked at this woman whose facial features were not as good as his own, and said helplessly: "Sister, you are already forty-two!"

The woman immediately yelled: "Who are you calling eldest sister? What's wrong with me being forty-two? I graduated with a bachelor's degree and have an annual salary of 300,000. Who do you think you are? Are you looking down on me?"

"How dare I? Besides, I didn't intend to talk to you in the first place. It was you who insisted on coming to me."

The woman said angrily: "Look around the market. How many girls are as good as me? In my opinion, you have nothing but good looks! You don't think I have a crush on you, do you? You're laughing so hard!" Do you think no one wants me?"

"How could it be? There is a seventy-eight-year-old girl in our village. A twenty-year-old Arab prince just proposed to her a few days ago. She was given 99 nuclear-powered aircraft carriers, 999 destroyers, 1999 fifth-generation aircraft, and a hundred big The oil field, the gold used as a bride price, hired eight hundred oxcarts to pull it. The later you get married, the better, good men are behind you, and a man who really likes you won't care about your age."

As Li Yang said this, the woman's expression became more and more distorted.

After Li Yang finished speaking, she suddenly grabbed her hair and yelled: "Ah...ah...get out of here! Get out of here!"

"Fuck! This is my fucking position. I came here early in the morning..."

Before Li Yang finished speaking, he saw the woman's eyes as if she wanted to eat someone.

All the eyes around him are focused here.

"Fuck! I'm in trouble!"

After saying that, he stood up and left his seat.

It wasn't that he had to come on a blind date, but his old mother forced him to come.

And after a while, his old mother will come here to see if he takes it seriously. If not, there will be a long talk when he goes back.

But if you encounter a crazy woman, what can you do?

I came to the corner of the blind date corner and prepared to look at another location. My mother has been in a bad mood recently, so she might as well do some face-saving projects.

As soon as I lit a cigarette, my mother called.

Li Yang immediately explained: "Mom, there are too many people in the blind date corner. I came here early in the morning and couldn't get a seat, so I'm still waiting. I promise to go on a blind date honestly, and I will definitely let you hold the big fat boy next year. "

The person on the phone said: "I knew you wouldn't be able to do it. Your Aunt Wang introduced me to a girl who is twenty-eight years old and not bad looking. I will give you her WeChat account. This is your last chance. Do you hear me?" ?”

Li Yang agreed with a grimace, "Hey, don't worry, I will definitely try my best to be someone's licking dog!"

After hanging up the phone, he opened WeChat and saw a number sent by his mother.

Apply as a friend: Introduced by an acquaintance.

If you don't say it this way, there will be no topic at all, and it will simply be spread out. Everyone is just for the blind date. As long as it is not too outrageous, it will be agreed.

Soon, the woman agreed. Before he could go to Moments to see what she was like, he received a reply from her.

"From Jiangcheng?"

"Correct!"

"Eight hundred acquaintances."

Li Yang: "????"

"Aunt Wang introduced me."

"Oh, the bride price is 300,000 yuan."

"Grass! Get out of here..."

Li Yang hasn't finished typing yet.

Wu Tianqi, Li Yang's best friend in high school and Li Yang's only friend for many years, suddenly called.

After the call was connected, "Fellow Daoist Wu, what do you want from me?"

"I'm divorced again."

"Huh? We've only been married for four months, right? Damn, you're going to pay me some money!"

Li Yang suddenly started yelling, "Wu Tianqi, this bastard, has been married three times."

Divorced again now? According to his family's conditions, there will definitely be a fourth marriage, which means that he has to pay the contribution money again.

Wu Tianqi on the other side of the phone sighed: "I finally understand. When I set you up with Wang Manqi, you lost ten years to that witch Wang Manqi. Now the karma has fallen on me."

When mentioning this matter, Li Yang took a deep breath, exhaled a large amount of smoke, and said: "It's not your fault, it's because I haven't played with her myself."

Fourteen years ago, Wang Manqi, whom he chased throughout high school, agreed to be his girlfriend. Because he was just a few points short of passing the second-level exam, he gave up the opportunity to repeat the course and worked full-time to support Wang Manqi, who also only passed the third-level exam, in college.

He lost ten years of his youth and spent 600,000, but Wang Manqi dumped him four years ago on the pretext that he had no money or ability.

The next day, Wang Manqi announced her new relationship on WeChat Moments.

When chasing Wang Manqi, Wu Tianqi contributed the most.

Therefore, Wu Tianqi always felt a little guilty in his heart.

Wu Tianqi blamed himself and said: "It's my fault. I knew she was a witch a long time ago, but I still let you fall into the devil's path."

Wu Tianqi is a die-hard fan of immortal novels. Because of Wang Manqi's natural charm, he gave her the title of witch. He always felt that Wang Manqi was not a righteous person.

"Then why did you get divorced this time?"

Li Yang didn't want to dwell on this matter anymore. His family situation was average and there was no room for error in his life.

But Wu Tianqi's family situation is good. His father used to be the director of the Academic Affairs Office, and his family is even related to the richest man in Jiangcheng. The error tolerance should be very high.

In the end, this guy's life was really ruined.

His first daughter-in-law suffered from lupus erythematosus and was infertile, so she hid it from his family for three years.

The second daughter-in-law gave birth to two children in six years, but none of them were his.

The third daughter-in-law was married for only four months, but somehow she got divorced again...

"I had a miscarriage. The doctor said there were too many abortions before..."

"What? Damn it! Isn't that girl only twenty-two years old?"

Wu Tianqi sighed and said, "This is retribution."

"Okay, okay, after so many years, you are not tired of saying it? I am very happy now. The quantitative program algorithm I took the lead in writing for the company is awesome. The boss earned 100 million and gave me 50,000 yuan. , I will have a deposit of 200,000 yuan in a few months." "Oh, I won't refund you that money."

"Wait a minute..."

At this time, Li Yang deleted the previous content in the WeChat chat box while talking on the phone.

He asked the woman: "Are eight hundred coming? Just tonight!"

The woman hesitated for a few seconds and replied, "Yes."

After waiting for a while, Wu Tianqi sighed: "Are you free at noon? Let's have a drink together?"

"We can't leave, we're at the blind date corner! By the way, you just said you wouldn't refund my money?"

"Yes, when you get married, I will give you one piece of the three pieces and give it back to you."

The next second, Li Yang sent Wu Tianqi a screenshot of the chat history in which the woman had just responded to him.

"Look at the picture I sent you on WeChat. I'm getting married tonight. Please pay back your share of the money as soon as possible."

After Wu Tianqi on the other side of the phone saw the chat history, he shouted: "Are you still not a human being? Is this considered a marriage?"

"Why doesn't it count? We only got married for one night, and we will divorce when we wake up tomorrow. We just didn't get a certificate... Didn't you get a certificate when you married your first wife?"

Wu Tianqi said helplessly: "Just for the share money? You are so cruel!"

"Stop talking nonsense, three thousand yuan, not a penny less, call me now!"

Wu Tianqi said quietly: "Well, you said that if Lili's health is fine, my child is ten years old now. If it is a girl, I will let her grow up and marry you."

Lili is his first wife, she is very beautiful.

Li Yang threw away the cigarette butt and cursed: "Can you stop talking nonsense? I have something to do, so I'll hang up first!"

This guy was really shameless in order not to pay the three thousand yuan.

"and many more!"

"Anything else?"

"I have always wanted to ask you a question. Have you and Wang Manqi ever practiced dual cultivation?"

"beep……"

Li Yang hung up the phone directly.

It doesn't seem like everything is that bad, but in fact a lot of it is irreparable.

If I study hard in high school, I can at least pass the entrance examination. There is a high probability that my mother will not be injured fourteen years ago, let alone the root cause of the disease.

If you decide when you should, then when Wang Manqi starts to find excuses to procrastinate after graduating from college, you will realize that there is still a turning point in your life.

But now that he is thirty-two, for ordinary people, he has basically been sentenced to death.

……

He was bored while waiting for an empty spot, so he opened a certain low-IQ bar that he had been hanging out in for a long time.

There are talents here who can temporarily stop your brain from thinking about other things.

Soon he found a post.

"I'm going to be reborn soon, but I can only bring one thing with me. Please help me figure out what I should bring."

In this low-IQ forum, a post like this appears, which is incompatible with the atmosphere of the entire forum.

After all, profound topics such as 'Why can't you see outside when you close your eyes' are often discussed here, and the boundary between people and mental illness has become more clear.

Li Yang clicked in, wanting to see which guy who should be discharged from the hospital had been staying here.

However, after seeing the answers inside, he didn't know whether to celebrate that there was a new patient in the bar, or to be angry that this guy was so cautious even in his dreams.

A, Jay Chou’s new song after 14 years
  B, a brand new Fruit 6S
  C, 14-year National College Entrance Examination Answers

Because this post is relatively new, no one has responded yet.

Of course, it's also possible that others saw him and felt that he was hopeless and didn't bother to pay attention to him.

Someone replied: "What the hell are you doing with Jay Chou's new songs? Can you play his songs from 14 years later?"

Soon, the other party replied: "My goddess is a fan of Jay Chou. If she can see Jay Chou's new song, which is the first in the world, she will definitely be very happy."

"Then what's the point of bringing a Fruit 6S? If you try to smuggle some data into it, I won't blame you. Why on earth do you want to bring a brand new one? What's wrong? Are you related to the broken phone?"

The other party quickly replied: "My goddess is a loyal user of Fruit Phone. She has never been able to afford it. I want her to be the first person in the world to use the new Fruit Phone."

"???"

Well, this patient has not yet been discharged from the hospital, and he has gone to who knows where, and has become a licking dog.

There is almost no cure for dog licking disease!

Unless you put yourself to death and survive.

Don't ask, asking means someone is looking in the mirror.

Li Yang found the answers to the 14 National College Entrance Examination on his mobile phone, then sent them over, saying, "This is pretty reliable. I also took the college entrance examination in 14, and I often regretted it to death. I will memorize these answers."

Soon, the other party replied: "Great, this way, my goddess can be admitted to the university of her choice!"

"The eighteenth generation of your ancestors worked in the underworld for hundreds of years before they got you a ticket to be reborn, and asked you to go back and work as a dog licker?"

"Otherwise? If I can please the goddess, they will also be happy..."

Li Yang's blood pressure rose.

As a keyboard warrior on the Internet, he has never broken the defense.

There is an unspoken rule when it comes to being a keyboard warrior: whoever uses bad words loses.

"Fuck! What a shame! If I encounter a piece of shit like you, I will suffer eight lifetimes of bad luck. Don't let me touch you in reality. I will beat you every time I see you! Are you reborn? You are reborn! You are the ticket to rebirth too. match?"

After saying this, he angrily quit the program.

There is only one person in the world who can break his defense!
  He stood up violently, suddenly feeling a little dizzy, and everything in front of him became increasingly blurry.

"Damn it, I've never had any health problems!"

"The most important quality of a dog licker is not to get sick, otherwise Wang Manqi would have kicked me!"

"You must be angry with that bastard."

"Grass……"

(End of this chapter)