White Fence Dream

Chapter 148 Let’s talk again
This sentence made Zhou Jingyun a little dazed.

At the beginning, he asked Zhuang Li to return to the capital first because he had to settle Madam Zhuang. He and Zhuang Li hardly even saw what each other looked like.

It was not until he finally returned to the capital that the two had a chance to be alone together.

A lot of things happened at that time. Perhaps to explain, Zhuang Li introduced himself to him and told him what kind of person he was.

He still remembered her saying "she is not a good person" and was born unlucky and brought bad luck.

He doesn't believe such words.

"I lied to you back then," Zhuang Li said. "Besides killing my mother, which is considered unlucky, I also have other strange features that have caused people to fear and hate me since I was a child, and I've been considered a monster."

Weird? What's weird? Zhou Jingyun was puzzled.

"Now, through your words, combined with what I have learned myself, I roughly know what Shen Qing and the others want to do to me." Zhuang Li said, smiling, "They want my body."

Want her body, this sounds even stranger. Zhou Jingyun was silent for a moment, thinking of what Shen Qing said, that as long as the queen's thoughts are not dead, the queen can be reborn, and then he thought of the face he saw on Zhuang Li's face that morning.
"This is ridiculous!" he said flatly, "Whoever it is is who it is. How can their body be taken away?"

"Because I'm different from others." Zhuang Li said, looking at Zhou Jingyun, "Prince, the me you see now is actually not me."

Zhou Jingyun was stunned. What did he mean that the girl he saw was not her? Then who was he seeing?

"What you saw was the image of Zhuang Li that you unconsciously imagined in your mind based on the features you heard others introduce him to."

"Other people, the maid Chunyue, my mother, and my family, all see me as they imagine me to be."

"If you draw me as I see me, you will see that I have thousands of different faces."

Zhou Jingyun felt his ears buzzing. How could this be possible? What he saw was not her true appearance? What everyone saw was not the same her?
This is ridiculous!
She was standing right in front of me, thin, elegant, fair-skinned, with thin eyebrows and cherry lips. How could this not be her?
"It's me, but it's not me. You can understand that my true appearance is covered with a mask. This mask is based on your imagination of me and the imagination I guide you to have. For example, I told you that I am a bit like Chunyue."

She looked a bit like Chunyue. Zhou Jingyun subconsciously looked at Zhuang Li. The woman's face seemed to be slightly rippling, clear and blurry. She did look a bit like that maid...

The thought flashed through his mind, and Zhou Jingyun was startled. He couldn't help but turn his eyes away, and Zhuang Li's voice continued to come to his ears.

"I was born with a soulless body and mind that were empty. Mr. Zhuang said that I was like a mirror. When people look at me, they can easily see their own desires."

"When I was a child, I couldn't control myself, which caused many people to look at me and be frightened by my own greed, anger, and ignorance, and go crazy. That's why people say that looking at me is unlucky and that I always have accidents."

"After following Mr. Zhuang, I learned how to control my spirit. I can fine-tune my mind according to what others think, so I don't scare people crazy at any time."

"Do you still remember the arrest warrant from the Supervisory Council that you brought back earlier? Actually..."

When he said this, Zhuang Li looked at Zhou Jingyun.

“I look a lot like my sister.”

"But, unless I want them to, people can hardly see my true self."

Zhou Jingyun turned his gaze back to look at her, a look of shock.

Zhuang Li was still holding his hand and could feel that Zhou Jingyun's hand was a little cold.

Zhou Jingyun said before that Shen Qing had said some ridiculous things to him, and what she said to him now was not much better than what Shen Qing had said.

"Prince, I'm not crazy, and neither are you. There are indeed strange people and things in this world."

She said softly, holding Zhou Jingyun's hand tightly.

Feeling the softness and warmth of the hand holding his, Zhou Jingyun took a deep breath: "So, Shen Qing and the others want to turn you into... her?"

Just because she has many faces in the eyes of the world, can she be turned into the Queen of Chiang?
This is still too absurd! Even if the appearance has changed, it is not that person. It is just an illusion that can only appear briefly, but it can be made longer lasting, and a person who can pretend to be that person can be created to fool the world.

But that person is dead and gone, and the one with the same face is not her, so this is still an illusion.

Zhuang Li was silent for a moment.

"Yes and no," she said. "If I think I am her, then I am her."

She thinks...

Zhou Jingyun looked at her.

How could she think she was someone else? "Because my mind is unstable, others see me as someone other than me, and I will also... forget that I am myself." Zhuang Li said softly, "I encountered danger before, my mind was separated, and I could hardly wake up again."

"That old illness?" Zhou Jingyun suddenly asked.

Zhuang Li smiled at him and nodded.

"I thought I was able to wake up because Mr. Zhuang risked his life to save me." She said, laughing at herself, "It turns out that he didn't risk his life for me. He and Shen Qing wanted me to become..."

She looked at Zhou Jingyun.

"Empress Jiang."

“But they didn’t succeed.”

"I'm still me."

"The surviving youngest daughter of the Bai family."

That's why Shen Qing told him that he was originally going to take Bai Li away. Zhou Jingyun was silent, as if he understood Zhuang Li's meaning, but it was really too ridiculous, and he felt confused.

"They didn't succeed last time, so now they want to do it again..." He said, looking at Zhuang Li, and suddenly thought of something, "You wrote to Madam Zhuang because... you are not feeling well?"

After hearing such an absurd thing, his bewilderment was visibly apparent, but he still thought of this matter amidst the chaos...Zhuang Li looked at Zhou Jingyun and nodded: "Yes, you saw it on my face...I saw it on her too."

Zhou Jingyun knew who she was talking about and was shocked again. Did she see it too?

"On my face." said Zhuang Li.

This... Zhou Jingyun felt his thoughts even more confused, and he thought of Zhuang Li's words in the confusion.

"It's not that others see what they want to see when they see you..." He murmured, "If you see yourself as someone else..."

Isn't that what she said, that she forgot who she was?

Zhuang Li nodded: "Yes, so I knew something was wrong with me, and I asked Mrs. Zhuang for help..."

When she mentioned the word "help", there was a hint of disappointment in her voice.

Unexpectedly, the letter was hijacked and Mrs. Zhuang was also controlled. Zhou Jingyun thought about it, and suddenly thought of something else, looking at Zhuang Li: "Do you know?"

Only then did he come to his senses and wonder why he had just started talking about Mrs. Zhuang. Zhuang Li's reaction was not to ask, but she didn't ask a single question. She rushed over to hug him and said, "I thought you were the same as them."

This clearly knew, and he seemed to think that he...

"I saw it." Zhuang Li nodded and smiled, "You took the letter I wrote to Madam Zhuang and hid it under the book."

Zhou Jingyun was stunned. He thought about the day when he took the letter from Shen Qing and hid in the study because he was too shocked and at a loss. When he heard Zhuang Li suddenly came, he subconsciously hid the letter...

So she saw it.

She had health problems at the time and must have been very worried, so she asked several times whether the letter had been delivered.

He said he had delivered it, but the next moment I saw that he had hidden the letter.

What would she think?
Shocked, sad, angry...

How did she face him during those days...

Zhou Jingyun felt mixed emotions.

"It was so sudden. When Shen Qing took out the letter, I was shocked. He spoke strangely. I didn't believe him and just wanted to confirm it myself."

"I sent Jiang Yun to Dengzhou, thinking I would tell you after confirming it. Otherwise, I don't know what's going on, and you'll be flustered after hearing it, and you won't be able to solve the problem."

He paused here, looked at the hand that was still held by Zhuang Li, and held it with his backhand.

"I'm sorry I made you sad."

Half a chapter.