Siheyuan: Relieve stress and relieve worries

Chapter 508 Two suicide notes
Yan Jiekuang sat quietly in his study, lighting a cigarette and smoking. His two best classmates and playmates had already left him. It was extremely painful for Yan Jiekuang to receive the news of their sacrifice after so many years. Yan Jiekuang looked at the two letters and directly opened the letter from Zhang Wenchang.

Looking at the yellowed paper and the crooked words, Yan Jiekuang muttered to himself, "My handwriting has always been like that since I was a child. Why haven't I changed it yet?"

"Yan Lao San:

I never thought you would receive my letter until now. I wanted to write to you, but unfortunately we are very strict here and I can't break the rules. By the way, how is your sister? Has she grown up? I don't have a girlfriend yet.

Third brother, maybe when you see this letter, I have already gone to see Marx. I didn’t feel anything when I first came, but the longer time goes by, the more I miss the days when the four of us were getting into trouble all the time. That time should have been the happiest time of mine. Do you remember those fish I fried? You don’t know, many people in the compound had diarrhea after eating them. Later, my dad said that it might have been fried half-cooked and went bad if left out.

Third brother, my dad passed away before me. I felt helpless at that time. I really wanted someone to comfort me, but unfortunately you were not by my side. By the way, Gangzi has already gone to the battlefield. He is really boring and didn't tell anyone. When my dad was glorious, he sent me a note saying that he was going to charge and asked me to mourn. Damn it, I didn't mourn at all. I had to avenge my dad.

I am leaving now, and this may be the last letter I write to you. Don't worry, I am not entrusting you to anyone else. I just miss you and the time when we played carefree in the sun.

Third brother, you must remember me and not forget me. Otherwise, when I am glorious and have no friends to visit my grave, I will be so lonely. Remember to come and see me.

Alas, tell Jie Di that I want to marry her, but unfortunately I have no chance.

OK, I wish you a happy life, a harmonious family, and live your own life well. In the next life, if someone winks at you during class, that person must be me, so remember to recognize me. Haha!
Goodbye, my friend! Third brother, let's be brothers in the next life.

Zhang Wenchang's last work

November 1986, 5"

After reading Zhang Wenchang's letter, Yan Jiekuang burst into tears. His body was shaking constantly. He lit a cigarette with his shaking hands. He wanted to calm himself down, but he couldn't light the cigarette.

After a long, long time, Yan Jiekuang slowly calmed down. In fact, the children outside had already heard their father's movements, but Yan Jiekuang had said in advance that they were not allowed to come in, so they just sat in the yard and listened to the movements in the study.

After a while, Yan Jiekuang stopped crying, and the children finally breathed a sigh of relief. They looked at each other and Xixi whispered, "It's okay. Our mother will be back today. We just need to wait for her to come back."

Yan Jiekuang smoked a cigarette and looked at Li Chenggang's letter. He hesitated for a moment, but still opened it. Li Chenggang's handwriting was much better than Zhang Wenchang's.

"Student Yan Jiekuang:

Long time no see, did you miss me? Haha, I might have to go to the front line, the squad leader asked us to write a suicide note, I wrote it, but after thinking about it, I decided to write to you three brothers as well, otherwise, you will definitely say that I am not authentic.

Jie Kuang, I'm leaving first. If you can see this letter, it means I have done an honor. I think what I did was right and it was worth it, but my family doesn't know it yet. Ever since we got together, I knew you were the smartest and would definitely have a bright future. I shamelessly ask you for a favor. Go visit my parents and grandma to see how they are doing. If they are not doing well, please help them if you can. Thank you.

Ever since I joined the army, I have missed the days when the four of us went fishing. It is also because of fishing that my family has enough to eat. I know that you three brothers always give me more fish because there are many children in my family. I am also very grateful to you, you are my brothers.

Brother, I'm leaving now. If, I mean if, there really is a next life, I will be your younger brother, and we will be brothers for life.

Okay, I won’t say any more. I miss you. It would be a bit hypocritical to say more. Remember, when you have time, please visit my parents for me. You know the address, so I won’t repeat it. Buddy, let’s go fishing in the next life.

Li Chenggang

November 1983, 4"

Yan Jiekuang slumped in his chair, looking up at the ceiling, letting the hot tears slide down both sides of his face. He could no longer make any sound, and just sat there until Ji Lian pushed the door open.

As soon as Ji Lian came in and saw Yan Jiekuang, tears came down and she hurriedly said, "Third brother, my third brother, what's wrong with you? What happened?" Then Ji Lian ran to Yan Jiekuang and hugged him in her arms.

After a long time, Yan Jiekuang slowly came back to his senses. Looking at Ji Lian who was holding him, he said in a hoarse voice, "Oh, when did you come back? Is the matter over there done?"

Ji Lian cried and looked at Yan Jiekuang and said, "You still have the heart to ask me, what's wrong with you, why do you feel like the sky is falling, is this still you, my third brother? Do you think I can not come back?"

Yan Jiekuang was stunned for a moment, then said with a wry smile: "I'm fine, really, I'm really fine, it's just that I feel a little depressed."

Ji Lian asked: "What happened?"

Yan Jiekuang pointed to the two letters on the table and said, "My two best classmates in school died a long time ago. I always thought they were still alive. These are the suicide letters they wrote to me. I just received them."

Ji Lian understood instantly. She didn't look at him, but looked at Yan Jiekuang distressedly and said, "The dead are gone, and the living must live well. You can't torture yourself, can you?"

"I'm not, I'm just a little too sad. Okay, I get it. You go and have a rest and leave me alone." Yan Jiekuang said a little impatiently.

Ji Lian looked at Yan Jiekuang and was at a loss as to what to do. She walked out of the study and went to cook for the children. She knew that Yan Jiekuang could do nothing at this moment.

Yan Jiekuang did not sleep that night, thinking about his two brothers. Finally, he figured it out. He had to go and pay tribute to his brothers, and also do what Li Chenggang asked him to do. In the second half of the night, he leaned back in his chair and fell asleep in a daze.

When he woke up the next day, he was covered with a blanket. Just as he was awake, Ji Lian came in with a bowl of porridge and some buns. Seeing that Yan Jiekuang was awake, she said, "Wake up. You didn't eat anything yesterday. Come and have some breakfast."

As she said that, she placed the food on the desk in front of Yan Jiekuang. Yan Jiekuang was really hungry, so he started to eat with big mouthfuls. Seeing his look, Ji Lian felt very distressed, so she said to him in a consoling way: "Third brother, you may not know that Liangzi and Fangfang also did not sleep all night. In the middle of the night, they were still guarding the yard at the door. You have to cheer up. The children are very worried about you. If you continue like this, your health will collapse."

Seeing Ji Lian comforting him with tears in her eyes, Yan Jiekuang thought of the children outside and felt that he had really gone too far. How could he not be able to bear such a small blow at such an old age? He nodded and said, "I'm sorry for making everyone worry. I'm fine. It won't be like this again. Don't worry."

Although Ji Lian was a little skeptical about Yan Jiekuang's words, at least so far, Yan Jiekuang was no longer as sad as when he came back, and was no longer too immersed in his own world. Ji Lian was also a smart woman, so she stopped the topic and said, "I'll be at home these two days. You can be busy with your own things. I'm at home."

Yan Jiekuang raised his head and looked at Ji Lian, forcing a smile and said, "Thank you, it's all thanks to you. I really have something to do these two days, so I'm going to trouble you at home. By the way, if you have anything to do, just send Liangzi and his two siblings to my mother, and you can take care of your own things."

Ji Lian was a little unhappy and said, "Why, can't I rest for a few more days for my family? Don't worry, I said I'll be at home, so just do your thing."

Yan Jiekuang smiled and ate his breakfast in big mouthfuls. After breakfast, he planned to wash his face and tidy up. As soon as he went out of the house, he saw five people squatting side by side at the door, with a baby carriage next to them and a dog lying next to the stroller.

Except for those who went to Suzhou, all the children were there. Xiao Jin looked like he wanted to come over but didn't dare to. Yan Jiekuang laughed and said, "Come here, Xiao Jin!"

Xiao Jin ran over, and Yan Jiekuang picked it up. It licked Yan Jiekuang's face with its tongue, wagged its tail, and made a whimpering sound. It was worried about him. Yan Jiekuang put Xiao Jin down and said, "I'm sorry to have made you worry. It's okay. Go do what you need to do. By the way, I have to go out for the next two days and will be back in two days."

The other children didn't say anything, only Xiaopang said worriedly: "Dad, where are you going? Do you want me to go with you?"

Yan Jiekuang smiled and waved his hands, saying, "No, no, I am here to sweep the graves of your two uncles who died. I will be back after I finish sweeping the graves. I won't be late."

As he spoke, Yan Jiekuang touched the children's heads one by one to comfort them, and finally picked up his daughter. Nannan cried out of grievance, but not loudly. Yan Jiekuang kept coaxing her.

(End of this chapter)