Crimson sinking

There was a hint of self-mockery in Linji's words, she said in a tone that was just talking to herself:

"Indeed, the moment I had my destiny, the person who changed the first step of my destiny told me that my task would be to serve a noble person, maybe I would become a sex slave, maybe I might become someone else's wife , maybe better, it all depends on our efforts..."

"Why did you choose to take this path?"

"It's still the same sentence, no one can resist in the face of a fate that cannot be changed. 【】I chose this way because there is no worse choice than this road!"

Lin Ji's guilty tone made Hina silent for a while, and continued to listen to Lin Ji's words quietly.

"For more than a month, we really haven't had much intersection. You do yours and I do mine, but I rest more comfortably. As for your evaluation, it's the kind of person who lives for himself. I am very envious and yearn for it. Even though your task is to protect my safety like others, but you are different from them, you have a more proud soul, you just selectively do what you should do I have always hoped that I could live like you, no matter how tired I am, I have never regretted it..."

Lin Ji lowered her head, as if feeling a little cold.

Facing the transparent thin gauze, Hina wanted to spread the quilt for him, but Linji tore it away. She said to Hina, "Can you hug me for a while?"

Hina hesitated in her movements. Facing the weak girl in her eyes, she did have an instinctive sense of caring, but her heart told her that the person in front of her was Lin Ji, the subordinate of Enilo, His Majesty's concubine...

Seeing Hina's hesitant eyes, Lingji said mockingly:

"Why, do you think that a seductive woman like me who needs no shame is afraid of tarnishing your saintly and proud soul and making her stained with dirt?"

Hina felt a little guilty for being told part of her thoughts. She was only thinking about this matter in a male way of thinking, and she was more accepting of the image of girls like Irene and Kalia.And I instinctively distinguished that this should not be a woman related to my own life, this is someone else's woman...

Hina couldn't help but sigh to herself.

"You said it was just a hug, didn't you?"

Hina didn't lie down again, and faced forward, holding Linji in her arms with outstretched arms.

Lin Ji closed her eyes, and relaxed her head to Hina's chest.The soft hair rubbed against Hina's neck a little bit, feeling a little itchy.

"It's so warm..."

Lin Ji tucked her body so that her body could stick closer to Hina, and her brows showed a trace of relaxation.

"Although your shoulders are not broad, it makes people feel a rare relaxation. I think it will be very happy to be your woman."

As if recalling something, Lin Ji opened her eyes and said apologetically, "I'm sorry, I just said it naturally just now, forgetting that you are also a woman."

"It's ok."

Hina's tone was no longer as cold as before.

"To be honest, I have never believed in men. Although I have never doubted that there are good men in this world, at least they have never appeared in my world. My world only feels poverty, whips and conspiracy, so, I I always feel that I live a very pessimistic life, so I always want to destroy something, because I am not used to others being happier than me..."

"There is a story that a long time ago, some priests like white robes taught us poor children to know how to contribute and share, and to be grateful for God's gifts. When they left some bread, they left feeling good about themselves, thinking that they had done something. When there is nothing to be done, a group of poor children are left scrambling for the food in their hands. The only thing you can do at that time is to stuff as much as possible into your stomach before the priests leave. Selfishness is just a means to protect yourself..."

"Before I was 12 years old, I spent almost all of my time in the slums. At that time, I was almost living in poverty. In a person's life, there will always be a few people who are the most profound, and there is one at that time, Although I don't really like that person..."

"It was a boy two years older than him. He had rotten teeth and was not very good-looking, because his body was fairly strong. Whenever the pastors distributed bread and other food, I always I was bullied more. At that time, he would help me to occupy a seat, and afterwards he would grab more food that others hadn’t finished eating, and finally showed his broken teeth and smiled and handed me the food. He once said to me, "When you grow up, can you give me something?" Although I didn't like this person very much, but at that time, I was forced by life, and I agreed to his words. After all, the future is too imaginary. Although I have always fantasized about a certain hero leading me out of that predicament, at least I have to wait alive, I am afraid of being hungry..."

When she heard Linji's words "I'm afraid of being hungry", Hina couldn't help but feel another emotion in her heart, as if Irene said "I'm afraid of the dark" alone in her arms in the desert.

At this time, Hina's expression couldn't help but stretch a little, and her tone was a little more gentle.

"What happened to that boy?"

"He's dead..." Linji's cold and unhesitating sentence made Hina flash a little bit of astonishment, looking at Hina's expression, Linji seemed to be saying something very ordinary.

"He died, and was beaten to death by other children. He enjoyed more resources by himself, and eventually attracted more people's anger. In order to protect their own interests, a group of people secretly conspired to trick that guy into a People's corners, beaten to death..."

"At that time, I was not sad at all. When he chatted with me, he joked about this possibility. I also had a hunch, but I didn't expect it to happen so suddenly. At that time, I sneered in my heart, I Without going back to the slum, I dragged the boy's body to the church that distributes food to poor children several times a week. I met the priest and indifferently rebuked their so-called mercy for bringing us What came..."

"After I finished speaking, I left the corpse and left. Although they seemed so hypocritical, I knew they would deal with the boy's body better. This is the only way I can repay the boy. The ways of helping over the years... Later, when a group of poor children waited expectantly for the church to distribute food again, the door of charity was never opened again. I remember, I laughed happily at that time..."

"When I was 13 years old, although I had been malnourished, I knew that I had begun to develop and was growing into a girl. Before the age of 13, my face was dirty, and I looked like a normal person. I'm a skinny tomboy, no one will give me a second glance. But when I realized that I was growing into a girl, I became more and more afraid. I dare not go back to that slum again... I have been there with my own eyes A fourteen or fifteen-year-old girl was raped by a group of similar boys in turn. Although she might not want to at first, but after a few more times, those poor girls will get used to it. They will become prostitutes everywhere in poor neighborhoods. Earn some meager income from their bodies, and when they are older, they will also recruit other young girls who have just grown up, repeating the same cycle..."

Hina admits that she has never been worthy of those prostitutes, but thinking about it from another perspective, except for some women who enjoy being perverted, who would be willing to enjoy the kind of career that is despised by others?

But Hina has no mercy. The past is the past. After all, they are already sinking now, and the sinking cannot be saved by reason. Those women with a strong will are only a minority after all.

Hina couldn't help but lower her tone again, and whispered, "What happened next?"

"Later, I walked in ordinary neighborhoods, trying to find a job that I could do. I believed that I could support myself with my own hands. But because I was a child from the slums, most people would not accept me, because poor children Most of them are thieves and liars, I can’t explain it. I can only find rough jobs that carry things, but I’m naturally weak, and I’m easy to get out of breath after doing it for a while, and I’m dismissed after a few days... "

At this point, Lin Ji still had her eyes closed, but her hands hugged Hina's waist, and her arms couldn't help but tightened a bit.

"I hate winter the most, because I don't have enough clothes to keep warm, and my frostbite will be severe every winter. That year, there was a heavy snowfall, and I only wore two thin clothes that I didn't wear when I was doing rough work. Clothes. Sometimes I would go outside the canteens to find any leftover fresh food and throw them outside, and even compete with some stray wild dogs for some food. That day happened to be an important festival, and each family Everyone stays at home behind closed doors for the festival, and there are few open restaurants. Like many stray wild dogs, I can’t find anything to eat. I wander in the shady streets in a vain way, and I dare not stop, because after I stop I would really like to fall asleep, although this will waste my energy, but only in this way, I have the possibility of finding new food. When I pass by a small house, I can't help smelling it through the half-open door A hint of barbecue smell, very fragrant..."

"I was really hungry at that time. I saw the grilled meat on the iron plate through the crack of the door. I analyzed the owner of this house from the footprints in the snow. The footprints were heading towards the grocery store not far away..."

"I made up my mind and had to be a thief. Although it might be miserable if I crawled and caught it, I was hungry. So I slipped into the door carefully, climbed up the hot barbecue, and couldn't help but take a bite. I quickly fled to the outside, and while I was running away, I successfully took a small meat-cutting knife and hid it in my boots. But when I opened the door again and saw a big man with a face full of flesh, I was finally scared..."

……

.... .

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