Rebirth of King Zhou

Chapter 328

To be honest, Zi Xing really never thought that one day he would become the protagonist of a series of vulgar plots. 【 】What's more, he doesn't have the right to "refuse to act" at all.

What else can he say besides lamenting his own misfortune?

However, while sighing at himself, he couldn't help but feel a deep expectation in his heart. Why is this?

The "Thunder Clan" has confirmed through some channel that the "Thunder and Lightning Physique" that originally belonged to "Lei Zhenzi" was completely taken away by Zi Xing (this kind of stuff can also be taken away, which shows that Zi Xing was born to be a robber) materials).

In other words, Zi Xing met the first prerequisite for cultivating Lei Clan Kung Fu to the extreme.Right now, he only lacks "[-]/[-]th of Lei Zu Yuan Blood".

The information collected by "Nvwa of Evil" shows that the Lei Clan wants Zi Xing to join the Lei Clan and coddle the offspring with the sissy Zhenzi. In fact, they want to use the offspring as a bridge to "transplant" the "Thunder" possessed by Zhenzi. Ancestral blood" to Zi Xing.After all, they want to train Zi Xing to be the top Thunder Clan master who can "control the Heavenly Tribulation".

That would have been a good thing.But since no one in ThunderClan has ever tried this kind of "transplantation", the success rate is less than one percent.And once it fails, there will be absolutely no life.

This is why Zi Xing is still hesitant in the face of the huge benefit "yòò".

It feels like a "stunt actor", a big crew offered an astronomical figure and asked him to complete a "stunt performance" that narrowly escaped death...

If it can be successful, the benefits are of course enormous.In charge of the Heavenly Tribulation, the blood boils just thinking about it.No wonder the "Nv Wa of Evil" had agreed with Zi Xing in advance: If she succeeds, she will share [-]% of the "Power of Heavenly Tribulation".Thirty percent, enough to make her stink. Fart.

But what if it fails?

Zi Xing is worried about this now.

"Why did I make this choice?" Zi Xing was full of resentment: "This is clearly the method with the highest adoption rate in nine-rate TV dramas..."

The plot of dog and blood and the benefits that may be obtained in reality are really a pair of contradictions.

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In Zi Xing's previous life, based on his personal preferences, he really watched a lot of movies and TV series; later, when he had money, he even had the idea of ​​investing in TV series more than once.Although he didn't put it into action in the end, we can also see his enthusiasm in this regard.

To this day, Azusa still has a fresh memory of the absolutely dog-blooded, blood-vomiting super-vulgar TV plot in her previous life——

1. Playing the flute or playing the piano: Every time I see such a scene, I can’t bear it, especially in costume dramas, there may be only one of the 100 male protagonists playing the flute who can keep up with the rhythm, every time I watch them play the flute affectionately The flute is discharging while the fingers are pressing on the side, which is really frustrating (those actors who can hook up with the male lead are probably very tricky, otherwise why is it so difficult to learn some music theory so easily? As long as you follow You have to keep the rhythm, even if you fake it, the audience will bear it.)

The main character stabs the male lead: This is also a scene that appears quite frequently in costume dramas, and there are also fashion dramas, but it is generally not as tough as costumes.The most stalwart thing is the scene of Lin Shiyin stabbing Li Xunhuan in "Flying Knife Asking Love". Xunhuan gg is like a bag of blood, the blood is always not clean... and that big knife, every time It's creepy to look at.

In fact, it is the audience's hobby to watch the handsome guy suffer, but the reason why the female protagonist stabs the male protagonist is that the mental retardation makes the audience even more painful. Female protagonists generally have low IQs, so they can bear it, but why doesn't every male protagonist know how to hide?He always stands straight and stares at the heroine with a kind of resentful gaze, and then vomits blood after being stabbed, and falls to the ground full of resentment (at a glance, the audience can tell that he is an actor who is "acting", isn't it? Ashamed?)...

3. I saw the female protagonist méng wearing a transparent veil that can no longer be transparent to pretend to be a peerless beauty, and then the male protagonist’s eyes seem to be highly myopic, and he has to lift the veil to see the beautiful woman’s face clearly. His eyebrows are thin, his lips are red, and he speaks in a high-pitched voice, but the brave and witty male protagonist suddenly becomes dull when facing the female protagonist, and he can't tell the difference between male and female. Mian Shan', 'I've never seen such a handsome husband'...

5. No matter what angle you fall from, the mouth chún of the male pig’s foot and the female pig’s foot can always touch together (the Olympic shooting champion may not shoot so accurately every time);

6. Jump off the cliff that will never die... The protagonist can't jump to death no matter how high the cliff is, and even if he falls off Everest, he will land smoothly.Then he lost his memory, and was taken care of by a certain sister, and fell in love with each other for a long time.

7. If the protagonist falls into a cave or valley, he will accidentally get martial arts cheats.Perhaps this plot should not be attributed to "Dog. Blood. File", but should be an old-fashioned plot that completely loses its appeal.

8. The protagonist singles out a group of miscellaneous soldiers, but each time the miscellaneous soldiers go up to be beaten one by one in a moral way, and the other miscellaneous soldiers waiting to be beaten are swaying behind.Seeing those swaying people, Zi Xing wanted to take a picture of them with a shovel (the scene is set up for this kind of sake, and the tricks are so clumsy, no wonder he can only be a trick for the rest of his life)...

9. The supporting role was murdered by a jian. Before he died, he had to tell the main character the name of the jian. The person who killed me was... yes... and then he vomited blood, closed his eyes and kicked his legs... (remember Nancy in the shooting movie Ren, when he died on Taohua Island, he wrote "The murderer is..." and "Yang Kang" by hand, and there are only two characters in total, and the first four characters are all written in white.)

10. Also, when the heroine hears some bad news, no matter what she holds in her hand, she will definitely fall to the ground with a "slap". If she is a woman, she will roll her eyes and faint. Rushing to her side: "Mrs. Auntie, how are you doing?" 'If it's a man, it's mostly a heart attack and asthma... It's formulaic, and the formulaic expression has made countless actors follow rules, reducing the difficulty of performing, but it also makes the happiness index of countless audiences plummet.

11. There is a story about Zixing’s great hatred, which often appears in martial arts dramas: a murder scene, a corpse with a knife on it, the real murderer has long since disappeared, and the male protagonist usually chooses this time to appear alone, and immediately sees the corpse. Make a gesture of grief, and then, pay attention, Zi Xing's most incomprehensible action appeared - no matter how wise and cautious the hero is usually, at this time he will definitely hold (or touch, mo, pull... the above) The action is optional) The murderous knife on the corpse.At this moment, the supporting actors would suddenly swarm in, immediately witness the standard attacking posture of the male protagonist holding a murderous knife, and exclaim: You actually killed xxx, everyone can enjoy the male protagonist being killed by the audience The scene where Kou Shuojin was wronged like a cabbage~~~

12. The male lead and the female partner embrace each other, the female lead runs wildly when she sees it, the male lead chases after her, and explains, but if the female doesn’t believe it, the male raises his hand and swears: If what I said is even half a sentence is false... the female lead will definitely , put a finger on the man's mouth and say, don't, I believe, I believe... Whenever I see this scene, I want to die-it's disgusting.

13 A deep valley, Taniguchi Dashu: "Trespassers die" and then a row of bones, but no one who enters will die.The effect is probably similar to a line of big characters painted on the walls of some relatively remote public places: "Whoever takes out the garbage here will die."

In "A Son Turned into a Frog", the thief must have a male pig kiss a female pig to release the second pig.As a result, the female pig was shy, reluctant and full of expectation. At this time, the mouth chún of the male pig stuck to the mouth chún of the female pig.The robber next to him was still shouting frantically... Are there such second-rate robbers?A robber who wants to be a "moon old man" is indeed not a "competent robber".

15. Both of them stumbled and rolled down the hillside together.Looking at each other again, close-ups, slow motion, shyness... generally rolling in the grass, snow, or in the desert... rolling and rolling, the male and female protagonists feel like they are coming... panting, staring Looking at the other party...the atmosphere is ambiguous...then...the camera cuts...(This, even the famous old Mouzi can't avoid it, it's so old-fashioned in his Buried with Ten Sides).

16.a: When the descendants of Zhongliang or Heroes (usually children) flee for their lives, no matter where they flee, they can always be rescued, and those who rescue them know his family affairs.In the end, the rescuer did not end well. b: The nunnery of the monastery is usually a place where the relationship between male and female v. pig's feet occurs. c: The abbot usually has the foresight to find that a bad young man will become a great weapon. d: Rich and handsome company executives, usually when they meet female Zhujiao for the first time, the female Zhujiao doesn't even know that he is a company executive. e: There is always someone secretly helping the hero and heroine, but the hero and heroine can never find out who it is. f: The daughter of the boss of a powerful big company will marry a subordinate who doesn’t love her life and death (changed to the wording of “nv frequency” and she is not to be outdone, even worse: from the emperor to the minister to the prince to the rich businessman, They all go after the female protagonist who can't even tell what she is good at).

17. An enemy came, and a group of people ran away together. At this time, the gentle, petite and beautiful heroine started to say: Oh, my qin (or silver hairpin, or little white rabbit, etc.), my qin (or silver hairpin, or little white rabbits) were not brought out, brother xx, what should I do?At this time, brother xx will definitely look at the female pig with firm eyes, and say don't worry, I will help you get it back... Then the eldest brother risked his life to find Qin (or silver hairpin, or little white rabbit or the like).

18. Whenever someone in the play wants to break the news (the content of the news is nothing more than the mystery of life experience, killing the father and the enemy, etc., in short, it is an amazing inside story), the door of the room is always closed, and the door of the door Someone must have overheard it.This "eavesdropper" is not a villain, but a rat snake, he is the person involved in the breaking news, and he often gives people a heavy blow, which directly causes the person to cover his face and cry or freeze, and then hold a spoon or something The thing dropped on the ground~~ This trick is applicable to costume dramas and modern dramas~~

19. The sword is not used to cut people. With a single swing, there will be a series of explosions on the ground, or a huge gun suddenly rises from the lake. It is much more useful than modern submachine guns.In a duel between masters, the two must face each other, and between the palms, there must be a huge "crackling" light ball, just like the photoelectric ball seen in the science and technology museum when I was a child.Why do you think this hero is more Einstein than Einstein?

:'I have always regarded you as a big brother' Man:'I have always regarded you as my sister. 'Every time I hear this, I want to kill the writer who wrote this line. This screenwriter probably grew up eating melatonin.

21. In Qiongyao's play, a person asks the people around him like crazy: "Can anyone tell me what happened here?" Also, a certain woman and a certain man 'accidentally' hug each other, A certain man's girlfriend came back, bumped into him, and then the girlfriend would shake her head, cry, and then shout: "This is not true, this is not true" and run away... (maybe slap the man and then run).The man continued to chase: 'xx, listen to my explanation' If the nv didn't run far, the audience would still hear her say: 'I don't want to listen, don't listen'...

Or a more popular version: a misunderstanding arises, and one yells at the other (usually the male lead and the female lead): 'Listen to me explain' 'Listen to me' and the other screams: 'I won't listen or I won't listen Listen to 'Repeat the following n times...

With that repeated time, I have already explained it.

22. There is another common one in many domestic dramas: there is a sentence that I don’t know whether to say or not...it’s really nonsense, didn’t I say it all in the end? ? ?

Yelling, screaming, your throat is broken, and no one will save you' is the classic line of most of the TV dramas that have chuáng.

24. The most deadly line - "I will retire tomorrow" (including the same type of "My wife is going to give birth in a few days." "My wife is still waiting for me to come home for dinner." "I can immigrate next month "...The death rate of the supporting characters who said these words is [-]%. It deserves to be the "most deadly" line.

25. Usually in a place like a cave (very dark, with torches on), the leader (generally on the face) will laugh, and then say "those who follow me will prosper, and those who oppose me will perish", and then all The believers (who are dressed strangely and have blurred faces) will hold up the things in their hands and shout together: "Those who follow me will prosper, and those who oppose me will perish"... It is said that most of those who like to shout "slogans" are "dwarfs" in action. ".

26. There is a scene——the patient is often sent to emergency treatment, and then more than n family members see the doctor and call: Doctor, I beg you, I must save him... The doctor waved his head and said: We have done everything Hospitals are one of the places where disputes are most likely to arise.For emergency operations accompanied by family members, the hospital will definitely ask the family members to sign the consent form for the operation.There is a scene of begging the doctor, and it is impossible to chase after the operating room and yell...)

27. When the last episode of a certain martial arts or costume drama is about to end, the villain is determined to die, and an arrow or dagger is stabbed in the back... Female protagonist: "Little... Heart..." At the same time, the speed of light rushes over Standing in front of the male protagonist...the male protagonist wailed loudly: "So-and-so, you can't die... What will I do if you die... (Sometimes there is a sentence "What will happen to our child if you die?") Female protagonist Generally, I want to touch the hero's face as if struggling, and then say an immortal sentence: "If I can die in your arms, I will die with no regrets..." Then Chirp died, and I couldn't touch his hand. The face and the camera are generally photographed, but the heroine's hand fell off...

Flying in front of the man, he plopped and knelt down: Father, master, if you want to kill him, kill me first (you can also add that I am already his, and I have his flesh and blood. If you kill me, then kill me.) One dead, two dead)

29. The screams in the room, maids running around outside the door, only heard a scream in the room: 'Ah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' followed by the cry of the baby 'Wow~wow~wow~~' Nai's mother was overjoyed: "Master, lord, wife gave birth, wife gave birth." Master: "Oh, boy and girl?" Nai mother: "The young master gave birth to a young master" and the audience knelt down: "Congratulations to the master and congratulations to the master" (Chinese classical dramas are the least innovative among the childbirth dramas, and this is the one that has no gold content).

30. If a person was shown sewing, she would have pricked her finger with a needle.In the same way - whenever you feel depressed, you must cut vegetables, when you cut vegetables, you must cut your eyes stiff, and when your eyes become stiff, you must cut your fingers...

31. Every time I wake up from a coma, the first sentence is shouted: water~~~~~water~~~~~~water~~~~~~~ No wonder, water is the source of life

32. If someone has a piece of white cloth when they cough, they will definitely take a look after coughing, wow, there is a pool of blood, and then this person will die.

33. The combination of male and female pig feet is blocked by parents nothing more than: 1. The grievances of the previous generation.Most of them kill their fathers and enemies. 2 One of the mothers had an affair with the other's father and was abandoned.With a grudge. 3 They are half-brothers, or half-brothers...

34. A certain TV series——GG woke up, and others told him that MM was disfigured in order to save him.So gg went to the mountain, and found the face with a thin white veil that wanted to see mm, mm refused, saying that he had become ugly, and that he would never change his mind if he wanted to leave. mm said that gg should not see her ugly face...the two talked about it for a long time. GG suddenly reached out and poked his eyes blind, saying that he can't see now, so he doesn't have to leave me. (This is cold) This MM is very knowledgeable in medicine, so she cured GG's eyes. Anyway, in the next shot, she took off the gauze from GG's eyes, and his eyes saw it.

Then, the dialogue that broke Zi Xing the most appeared - mm took off the veil and said, in fact, my face is not disfigured, but my master asked me to try you, are you sincere to me?

The audience thought that gg was going to show off on the spot, but unexpectedly, gg hugged MM affectionately: "Now you believe that I am sincere to you"

At that time, Zi Xing spurted blood and went crazy-with this kind of spiritual training, he no longer feels mentally retarded after watching any TV series. . ..

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