High-priced prostitutes, side concubine is also crazy

381. Han Ziyue's inner monologue (spoilers included) My name is Han Ziyue, the lady of the Duke's Mansion. After chasing Ouyang Chen for so many years, I thought I could bear his indifference, his self-righteousness, his cynicism towards me, and even , I thought I could bear that he was my best friend in his heart, while I was just a chaser to him.And to me, he is indeed the most dazzling existence in my heart. They all say that the fifth prince has a foolish personality and is unbearable to take on great responsibilities, but I don't care at all. What I want is not an emperor, or even a prince. What I want is from beginning to end. It's just Ouyang Chen. I'd rather he be nothing. Only in this way can we live our lives in peace, not to be troubled by imperial power, not to be blinded by wealth, because we won't sacrifice for power.Ouyang Chen, I even hope that you are a child of an ordinary family, and so am I. We will not bear the burden of the family, so that we can live our lives.If so, Ouyang Chen, do you have me, Han Ziyue, in your heart?

At this time, I stayed alone in a strange place quietly, no one knew me, and I didn't know anyone.The softness on my body is enough for me to live the rest of my life safely. The only people who feel guilty are my family members. I don’t know how painful my departure is to them, but I’m sorry, please forgive Yuezi for being selfish this time. , I really have no way to stay in Yanjing, no way to face those people, I thought Ouyang Chen would treat me well, I thought I could be with him for the rest of my life, I thought we could live happily ever after, just like Dodo and Rui Similarly, even if the road ahead is difficult and dangerous, as long as there is such a person by your side, that person you can cling to wholeheartedly, then you will not be afraid of anything.I am not afraid of fighting openly and secretly, I am not afraid of swords and swords, and I am not afraid of life and death. The only thing I am afraid of is that there is no one around me who can support me. I have to face everything by myself and fight hard by myself.

The banquet of the Four Kingdoms held every five years was a turning point in my life.Or, fate will use his cruelest way to make me give up on Ouyang Chen.However, even if I leave, I also understand that in this life, I only love Ouyang Chen, no matter what he does to me, he will always be my calamity in this life, and Zhongxuan, I'm sorry, am I also the calamity of your life?How I wish I met you before I fell in love with Ouyang Chen, so, in this life, will our love path not be so tangled and bitter?

I still remember that on the morning of the palace banquet, when Dodo and I were almost killed by that woman Deng Xinran, what he cared about was not whether I was frightened, but that I was a shameless woman who could sneak into other people at will. When I saw a woman in the arms of a man, I knew that perhaps it was time to end this bitter love.I don't care if I was knocked down or frightened, what I care about is Ouyang Chen's attitude, his attitude when I was in danger, but Ouyang Chen completely made me feel ashamed, on the street, in the In front of so many people, no matter how bad it is, I am still the daughter of a nobleman, no matter how bad it is, I am also the young lady of the Duke's Mansion.Ouyang Chen, what do you think I am?In your eyes, am I the woman who will never be angry with you and expect a sympathetic look from you?

When the carriage passed by, Zhongxuan hugged me into his arms, the clean breath, the worry in his eyes and the accelerated heartbeat for me, let me understand your heart for me, and I also know that marrying loves me more than me People who love him, I will be very happy in this life, I think, if I can fall in love with you, I will be very happy in this life.You will definitely regard me as a treasure, and you will never leave me at any time.But at the same time, I am also asking myself, can I forget Ouyang Chen and fall in love with you?The sword dance I danced at the palace banquet was my farewell dance to Ouyang Chen, because I really wanted to let myself go, and I also wanted to find someone who loves me and loves me like Duo Duo, for the rest of my life.And Ouyang Chen is not my beloved.

But, why, why after I danced the sword dance, he would dance a song for me, different from my song, the sword dance he danced was for courtship, for me?Is he dancing for me?At this time, a glimmer of hope rose in my heart. After so many years, is he finally willing to fall in love with me?But, at the same time, I also felt a deep sadness in my heart. I have been chasing you for so many years, why are you willing to express your feelings to me when I want to give up?Maybe he didn't love me, but because he didn't want me to stop chasing his footsteps, so he danced this sword dance. Does he love me, or is he unwilling?I am not reconciled that I no longer follow in his footsteps. I am not willing to leave. Is it my own request rather than his request?So when the three kinds of fruits appeared in front of me, my first feeling was that I couldn’t accept his fruits, and I couldn’t show weakness to him. Since I want to give up, I have to let go completely. I hope that letting go will last a lifetime A generation.So, I accepted Zhongxuan's apple, and I hope that after I let go of Ouyang Chen completely, I can fall in love with Zhongxuan and be with him.

But, why did I accept apples instead of lychees? At night, you still come to my inner room and tell me that after so many years, you finally understand your heart. You are telling me that after so many years, In fact, am I not singing a one-man show alone? It turns out that you also have me in your heart, but you never know how to express it?Ouyang Chen, do you know how happy I was when I heard this sentence, so I always thought that the person in your heart was Duo Duo, but I didn't expect that I had already entered your heart when I didn't expect it.At this time, my heart is extremely happy, I don't care that you are the prince, and I am the lady of the Duke's Mansion, and I don't care whether you will be in that position in the future.I know that at this moment, the man I love is in front of me, and I am also the one on the tip of his heart. I think, no matter what happens in the future, will I be your wife? Yes, it will be your wife, not you My princess, you will not be the only one with me, no matter you are the prince or the emperor, but I am just your wife, the one who can live and die together, and share weal and woe.I'm ready to give myself to you. After so many years of bitter love, the joy in my heart can't be increased. I even want to set off fireworks to celebrate.Yes, I just want to tell the whole world that Ouyang Chen, whom I love, also loves me.

Everyone knows that I like fireworks. Yes, I like fireworks. Although they are short-lived, I spend my whole life to brighten them. Fireworks are in full bloom, gorgeous and short-lived, but the flowers that stay in my heart will not disperse. I celebrate the Lantern Festival every year. When the time comes, I go back to the highest building in Kyoto, book the best location, and watch the most beautiful fireworks. The east wind blows thousands of trees at night, and the stars blow down like rain.BMW carving cars are fragrant all over the road, the sound of phoenix flute is moving, the light of jade pot is turning, and fish and dragons dance all night.

But what you all don’t know is that I still like sunflowers. In the flower house of the Duke’s Mansion, all the sunflower varieties collected by Donglin Guoneng are there. They don’t know why I like sunflowers. Only I understand, I am For my own heart.Ouyang Chen, a word for morning, represents the sun's rising light. Sunflowers have been chasing the footsteps of the sun and looking up at the sun throughout their lives.And I, like a sunflower, followed Ouyang Chen's footsteps, happy for him, sad for him, laughed for him, and cried for him.Or this is my destiny, no matter from the day I fell in love with Ouyang Chen or the moment I fell in love with Sunflower, this is my destiny, I can't hide, I can only accept it passively.When I heard Ouyang Chen tell me, "Baby, I was not good in the past, and I didn't understand my own heart. I will definitely love you in the future." In my heart, countless fiery trees and silver flowers suddenly bloomed, shining brightly My whole heart is bright, and the gorgeous fireworks seem to exist for today's day. Whether it is extremely peaceful or not, it is a portrayal of my entire mood today.At this time, I felt that all the previous sacrifices were worthwhile, and all the previous grievances were for today's existence. With this sentence, I am willing to die.Up to this moment, I thought that Ouyang Chen and I would definitely support each other in this life until we grow old.

But, why, why after we talked to each other, why after I gave you everything, you let me see you and An Ran hugging each other, you should know that I hate her the most, except him, everyone It will shake my position in your heart, but she is different, from the first time she looked at you, I knew this woman's thoughts on you, she is a princess of a country, what do you want, power, status, even a man , I think, if she insists on being with you, then your first wife will not be me, Han Ziyue. I don’t care about identity, but I care that I cannot enter your family’s ancestral hall, and I care that our children cannot call me Mother, so, I'm sorry, I can only leave. Leaving you, licking my heartache quietly by myself.Before I left, I knelt in front of the Buddha for a long time. The Buddha said, let go, and I let go. I thought, once I let go, it will last forever.Even if I can't stop loving you, even if you will never hear from me, I still love you, in a place where you can't see, alone, thinking about you quietly, loving you, use our paragraph The warmth of time, to warm the cold days of being alone in the second half of my life.

I packed my bags and didn’t bring any valuables with me. What I carried with me was just a long life lock that I hung around my neck since I was a child, and a pair of blood jade bracelets that Ouyang Chen gave me a few days ago. bank note.Although I will make a living on my own in the future, bringing a bank note will make the road ahead less difficult for me.I left a few words for my mother and told her that I still can't let go.Since I can't get it and can't let it go, then I will leave, and I won't be sad if I don't see it. When I don't suffer so much, I will come back to see her.I will tell her my whereabouts at any time, but I also tell my mother, if you want to see me, don't tell others where I am.

Let's go, I'm going to leave after all, I won't feel so bad if I leave, instead of seeing him with others, watching him marry someone else, then I might as well hide away and live alone A warm and fulfilling life.Bringing the bank notes, Xingzi and I walked out of the Duke's Mansion, out of the capital, and towards a future that none of us could predict.

I have always owed everyone the inner monologue of the protagonist of Wenwen, which made everyone wait for a long time. Friends in the group can directly enter the group to ask for it. This is a small benefit for those who enter the group, so those who want to get this benefit Enter the group and ask for it, oh, okay.