Spring Girl's Notes

The wind is fixed and the night is quiet, and the lights are dim at night.

The weather in September is not too cold, but the cold dew falls in the middle of the night, making it very cool.

After Gu Jinzhi took a bath, he called the palace servants to come in and help him change his clothes.

The smell of the bath was very offensive, and the four little maids who came in all frowned slightly.

Without squinting, Gu Jin allowed them to put on their middle clothes and come out of the bath.

Her hair is wet.

Zhu Zhongjun has already taken a bath and has been waiting for a long time.

Things are done here, Aunt Cheng's big responsibilities have been let go, and she brought her people back to Kunning Palace to deal with errands.The Xilan Hall was quiet.

Seeing Gu Jinzhi coming out, Zhu Zhongjun smiled at her.

The palace man took a towel and wiped Gu Jinzhi's hair.

Gu Jinzhi took it over and said with a smile, "It's getting late, so there's no need to serve you..."

The palace people obeyed, did not dare to say a word, and retreated outside the palace.

After closing the hall door, only Gu Jinzhi and Zhu Zhongjun were left in the spacious and tall inner hall.

The roof of the hall is high and far away, and from the glazed tiles on the top, there are a few strands of cold moonlight, which are reflected on the ground, and are connected with the moonlight coming in from the window, quiet and condensed.

The cold air of autumn night climbed up quietly.

Zhu Zhongjun got up and carried Gu Jinzhi onto the bed.

He took the towel in her hand and said with a smile, "I'll wipe your hair for you."

Gu Jinzhi said yes.

She sat with her back facing Zhu Zhongjun, her wet blue hair hanging down, all resting on her thin and slender shoulders.

Zhu Zhongjun helped her wipe her hair gently.

The two were silent for a while, Zhu Zhongjun said, "Gu Jinzhi, I have a serious problem..."

"I don't describe myself like that." Gu Jinzhi replied, his tone was calm without any ups and downs, "How can anyone say that there is something wrong with him? This is a curse word."

"I have a hidden disease." Zhu Zhongjun changed his words, "Except for venereal diseases, other diseases that cannot be told to anyone can also be called hidden diseases, right?"

Gu Jinzhi: "It should be possible."

Her voice was shallow and uninterested.

She felt that Zhu Zhongjun was talking nonsense.

They have been husband and wife for so many years, and Gu Jinzhi is also a doctor.Although the doctor may miss the point when he consults the person closest to him.But Gu Jinzhi can see the clues of the disease.

Zhu Zhongjun had no hidden illness at all.

"When I was studying outside, most of my classmates thought I was gay," Zhu Zhongjun said.

"At that time, our school also had this kind of saying that handsome and good-looking boys were all gay, so you don't need to chase after them. You are the best in good looks. It's not unusual for others to misunderstand you like this." Gu Jinzhi said.

Zhu Zhongjun laughed.

When they were young, the atmosphere in China was relatively conservative. When he was in junior high school, it was always girls who confessed to him.

When he left for high school, I confessed to him.Mostly boys.There are also girls, but less.They're all Asian girls.

At that time, girls always said that he had a gay temperament...

"...Have you dated boys before?" Gu Jinzhi asked, "Is this your hidden disease?"

The handkerchief in Zhu Zhongjun's hand tightened, and his voice couldn't help becoming angry: "No! What you said is disgusting."

"You said it first." Gu Jinzhi said, "I didn't say you were..."

"I'm not!" Zhu Zhongjun immediately said, "We've been husband and wife for so many years, haven't I? Don't you still understand? When I was with you, did I perfunctory you?"

"No." Gu Jinzhi said fairly.

Only then was Zhu Zhongjun satisfied.

The topic turned back to his hidden illness.

"When we parted, I was in my prime." Zhu Zhongjun said, "When men have their brains, I can't avoid it. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and I want to find someone. I have looked for... "

Gu Jinzhi slightly raised his lips.

She never thought that Zhu Zhongjun would be a monk for the rest of his life.

This is not realistic.

It was Gu Jinzhi who wanted to separate their marriage.

Gu Jinzhi didn't care much about whether he found another woman.

Now, she still doesn't care much.

"I searched twice..." Zhu Zhongjun stammered.

Gu Jinzhi sighed: "It's okay. We were separated at that time, and you found someone else, it's not considered adultery. Besides, it was a matter of the previous life, and I didn't expect you not to find someone. Now, I think Marrying you, I want to marry you now. Just don't betray me in the future. "

Zhu Zhongjun behind him was silent for a while.

His hand wiping Gu Jinzhi's hair also paused.

He coughed lightly, looking embarrassed.

"...It didn't work out." Zhu Zhongjun said after being silent for a while.

Gu Jinzhi was also taken aback.

"What's wrong?" Gu Jinzhi asked him.

"Disgusting." Zhu Zhongjun said, "the first time I went in, it was hot and humid, sticky and sticky, like swallowing the pus phlegm spit out by someone else, I was so scared that I quit, and I was so disgusted that I put on my clothes and left. The second time, I obviously wanted it very much, but when I thought about the feeling last time, it was even more disgusting, and I let that woman go without even doing the prelude..."

Gu Jinzhi frowned.

She thought for a while and said, "When you have sex with a woman, do you feel sick?"

Zhu Zhongjun hummed lightly.

"Aren't you gay?" Gu Jinzhi said, "Who are you kidding?"

Then I remembered something, turned around and looked at him, "Are you still like this now, when you touch me, do you feel sick?"

Throwing away the handkerchief in Zhu Zhongjun's hand, he leaned close to her turned body and kissed her lips.

Holding her hand in his mouth and sucking for a while, he let go of Gu Jinzhi, took her hand, and touched his lower body.

The hot clone stood upright unwillingly.

"If it's disgusting, can you have such a reaction?" Zhu Zhongjun said, "I'll do it with you, and it's not disgusting at all. When was our husband and wife over the past ten years unhappy?"

Gu Jinzhi quickly withdrew his hand.

Her attention shifted to Zhu Zhongjun's question, and she was less disgusted with his touch.

Looking back on the sex in the bed in the previous life, it seemed perfect.

Zhu Zhongjun never showed the slightest dislike for women.

Gu Jinzhi glanced at him.

In the bright candlelight, his eyebrows and eyes were against the light.Condensing his handsomeness and beauty, leaving only the deep outline, he looked at Gu Jinzhi so seriously.

Gu Jinzhi said: "You made up those words, right?"

Zhu Zhongjun immediately stared: "I'm so despicable? It's true, I swear to you."

Gu Jinzhi pondered.

She thought for a long time, recalled all the medical knowledge in her mind, and said, "...you probably have a psychological problem. After we separated, did you receive any stimulation?"

After they separated, Zhu Zhongjun was not stimulated.

But he really doesn't like girls.

This is the psychological shadow given to him by his mother.

For the rest of his life, he remembered his mother's appearance on his second uncle's bed...

As long as it's not with Gu Jinzhi.When he looked at other women, he could think of his mother.Then he will feel nauseous.

"No." Zhu Zhongjun said.

"Then you are gay, don't argue." Gu Jinzhi said, "Zhu Zhongjun, do I look like a man?"

"...Homosexuality is not defined by you." Zhu Zhongjun despised her. "Actually, those two things happened, and I also thought that I might be, so I found a man to try."

Gu Jinzhi frowned even deeper.

"Then?" she asked.

"It's even more disgusting." Zhu Zhongjun said, "Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. At that time, I thought, will there be any contact, will it change? What's the use of thinking, I have to try it. For the rest of my life, I will Can't live on my own? I'm a normal person. I've never made out with a man before, so I found one to try. I didn't respond when I saw him take off his clothes. He wanted to get close to me, and I broke him with a punch bridge of the nose."

Gu Jinzhi slowly breathed a sigh of relief.

Fortunately, he is not.

Gu Jinzhi doesn't want to marry in person, she's not that great.

"Gu Jinzhi. Although I never told you, I told you. It's all the truth, I promise. If there is even the slightest lie, it will kill me. Do you understand?" Zhu Zhongjun asked her, "Actually I don't like men and I don't like women. I just like you. I'm a monster."

Gu Jinzhi's eyes suddenly opened, and he fixedly looked at him.

Zhu Zhongjun took her hand, put it on his chest, and said softly: "I only like you. If you don't have me, you can find someone else. If I don't have you, I'm just myself. Don't ignore me... ..."

Gu Jinzhi stared at him blankly.

"...it's unscientific," she said, "because of what?"

Zhu Zhongjun pursed his lips.

Even now, the reason is still difficult for him to say.

Zhu Zhongjun wanted to keep it as secret as possible because his biological mother had done something unbearable.

He didn't want Gu Jinzhi to know those things.

It seemed that he didn't want Gu Jinzhi to see his ugliest side.No matter how much he loved her, he didn't have the courage to reveal all his disgrace.Although he is very clear that Gu Jinzhi is not a person who is right and wrong.

Zhu Zhongjun is Zhu Zhongjun, and his mother is his mother.

To understand is to understand, but it is impossible to speak.

Reason cannot overcome emotion.

"You put a lot of pressure on me." Seeing that he was silent, Gu Jinzhi said again, "You...do you like me? I never knew."

Zhu Zhongjun was silent again.

He felt aggrieved.

"Can I take back those words?" Zhu Zhongjun let go of her hand and said, "Forget it, let me make up a story."

Then he stroked her hair and said, "It's late, let's go to bed. I'll have an 'appearance' early tomorrow morning, and I'll have another day of tossing around."

After all, he fell asleep in the bed by himself and lay down on his side.

Gu Jinzhi didn't move.

She looked at the man lying down with his back to her, with mixed feelings in her heart.

Her heart, like a dry and hard clod, needs a lot of emotional water to be watered, and it will slowly penetrate before it can soak her heart.

Zhu Zhongjun poured a lot of water at this moment.

Although it was half a beat slow, Gu Jinzhi still understood.

She asked, "Did you love me?"

Zhu Zhongjun was angry for a while.

He didn't get up, still turned his back to her, and said in an aggrieved voice: "My heart is still the same, it has never changed. I have always loved you. You don't need to feel pressure, just like me a little bit."

Gu Jinzhi was stunned again.

It took a long time before she lay down.

Zhu Zhongjun's Wei'an's shoulder was beside her.

There was a ripple in her heart, which was hard to dissipate for a long time.

She turned around, hugged Zhu Zhongjun's waist tightly, and pressed her face against his back.

The warmth of his skin spread to Gu Jinzhi's face through the thin coat.

Her eyes were astringent, and tears welled up in her eyes.

****(To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to vote for recommendations and monthly tickets. Your support is my biggest motivation.)