Feng Lin, the emperor of the world, is difficult to do

Chapter 190: Diary

October [-]

It has been a few days since I entered the palace. These days, the man named Long Xuanyi seems to always run this way. I don't understand why. I didn't know until a few days later. It turned out that the man did it on purpose , because he knew that I was the one who was arranged by the queen mother to enter the palace, so he wanted people outside to get a message, that is, to make them think that I betrayed them... Hehe, what a strange man. I remember on the day we got married, when he stood alone at the window and looked out, he gave me the feeling of being so cold and lonely. I was very curious at the time, why a man with power over the government was still so lonely. Later, I suddenly thought of a question, doesn't the so-called "朕" mean loneliness?What's more, this man is very contradictory. The moment he attacked me, he seemed to have a vague reluctance, but the action did not stop. It was only later that someone came, which made me I saved my life, so I still have the leisure to sit here and write my diary, hehe...

October 21

This is the second time I write a diary. I really didn’t think I had such a hobby before. However, when I came to this place and couldn’t find anyone to chat with, I realized that I was still very obsessed with writing. It's just that this brush is really not very good at writing, and I'm still not used to writing with a brush.

Calculating the time, today is the No.11 day when I entered the palace. Early in the morning, it began to rain lightly. It seemed a bit annoying. This dynasty seems to be different from the weather in the 21st century. There are only two seasons, winter and summer, so Well, although it's only October, it already feels like the beginning of winter, so when it rains, it looks extremely desolate and cold.Early in the morning, after I had breakfast, Bamboo Fragrance next to the Queen Mother brought me a colorful rose, and then the Queen Mother came in person, looked around and left.I really don't understand, did the ancient people come here and there just because they were idle?

first day of november

I haven't written a diary for a while, because I was framed innocently, forget it, I don't bother to write about these things.However, until today, I realized that the child in Xia Liwei's womb was a weight. Long Xuanyi wanted the child to keep his throne, but the Queen Mother wanted the child to die young, so that he could kill the dragon Xuan Yi replaced it, it really was a dark court, I really don't understand, how did I come to this dynasty when I was doing well, where did the real Liu Jingming go?What will my parents do when they can't see me?Children in ancient times, as expected, are not the continuation of their parents' love but the weight of power struggle.When Long Xuanyi asked me to help him protect the child, I hesitated for a while, not because I didn't want to, but because I was worried, if the child was really born, what kind of fate would be waiting he?However, later on, I figured out one thing, that is, the fate of others is their own, and no matter how powerful we are, we cannot change it. Whether this child will be good or bad in the future, none of us can say for sure. Only by giving him life, he can change by himself, so I chose to help Long Xuanyi protect that child.

Also, Long Xuanheng, according to the memory left in my mind, this person should be the one I love and also loves me, but the feeling after meeting him tells me that this man has been using me all the time ... No, like Liu Jingming, in his eyes, there is only power, and in his eyes, I am nothing more than a pawn.Hey, I suddenly understood this fact, and suddenly felt that my fate was very sad.

……

Long Xuanyi flipped through the pages, looked at them one by one, seeing the handwriting on the notebook became more and more beautiful, and his mood also fluctuated with the diary. He originally thought that she sat down every day In this place, I was just passing the time boringly, but I never thought that she has so many unknown details. After a pause, he continued to read.

December [-]

A few days have passed since the matter of Long Xuanheng, Liu's party has also been pacified, Long Xuanyi has also regained power, and I have also been inexplicably fed with the news that I am pregnant with a dragon heir, looking at my flat I really think it's extremely ridiculous, I really don't understand, what is in Long Xuanyi's mind, this fake pregnancy can be hidden for a few days?

Then the handwriting was obviously different in the place below, Long Xuanyi thought for a while, this should be added later, it said: Of course, at that time, I would never have thought of it, because this fake pregnancy made me It's not bad that I almost suffered, and it also let me know that I already have enemies in this seemingly peaceful harem.

first day of january

A few days ago, I suddenly had an idea, that is, wanting a child. This idea made me feel a little unfamiliar with myself. However, there is one thing that I still have to face myself honestly, that is, I I really fell in love with Long Xuanyi, maybe he has many women, but I can also feel that he actually likes me too, right?I have always thought that a child is the crystallization of love. Now, I want a child because I want to prove that this relationship of mine is fruitful. Therefore, when I went to the Temple of Heaven with Long Xuanyi, I I gave myself to him, because I identified that person.

February 25

Maybe it's retribution, the child is gone, and, moreover, lifelong infertility?How scary does this word sound?I just want a baby.In fact, from the beginning to the end, I was too persistent about this matter. What was written on that piece of paper was originally a thing of the past, but why didn't I think of it at that moment?So the punishment for my stupidity is to take my child back, right?

……

Flipping down again, there is another big blank space, there is only time on it, but nothing is written on it, caressing the paper carefully, Long Xuanyi found that there seemed to be traces of tears flowing.Occasionally, leaving such a line of words, simply makes people want to cry.

Long Xuanyi, you always feel that I don't have you in my heart, don't you?In fact, what I want to tell you is that I can give you my life, really.

Long Xuanyi, why do we do this, we are clearly in love, why do we do this now?Why did you leave so resolutely when you knew that what I said was just angry words?Even started to pamper the women in the harem?I know I'm not a magnanimous person, so please don't be so casual when you are in front of me, okay?My heart is very small, I can only accommodate you alone.

Long Xuanyi, I'm sorry, I want to leave, I feel like I'm about to suffocate in this place, I remember, once my mother told me that a woman can't put all her heart on a man, that way, I regret it It's just me, and now, although I have never regretted it, I don't want to let myself become a dissatisfied woman, so, Long Xuanyi, I'm sorry, I want to leave while you are away...

……

As Long Xuanyi watched, tears suddenly rolled down his face. He could never forget the moment when Yu Ziyang told himself that her child was gone, and he burst into tears at that moment.

"Your Majesty, it's time for dinner, how about..." Shuanghua stood at the door, looking at Long Xuanyi who was sitting there seriously flipping through the books, and said, but before she finished speaking, she immediately fell silent, she didn't Read it wrong, the emperor is... crying?

"Well, let's pass it on. I'm having dinner here today." Nodding his head, Long Xuanyi said.