The Era of Masculinity: Ambiguous Getting Fired

Chapter 19 what do you want me to do

When his father's confidante "disaster water" entered his territory, his father mercilessly drove him out of the house and abandoned him to Australia.From then on, Zi Han began to torture himself bit by bit.He cut off all the innocence, cowardice, kindness, and sincerity in himself bit by bit, and has since become slick and unscrupulous, squandering emotions and time at will.

When Zihan was shocked to find that the emotions that had been squandered and overdrawn became more and more depressed, the heart and appearance, soul and body seemed to be getting more and more out of touch.

The pain is like a dirty quagmire, and I can't extricate myself from that quagmire, sinking deeper and deeper...

Ruofei's eyes are always full of resentful indifference, just like when he was just abandoned to Australia.It's just that what I resent is my father, and if I don't resent it is fate...

To see Ruofei is to see oneself, to find Ruofei is to find oneself, Ruofei is the other half of one's empty mind, the other self in the mirror, the one oneself staring at in the dark night...

Zihan went around all the nightclubs and bars in N city, big and small, but he didn't see Ruofei, so he had to return to Binshi overnight in frustration.

"Why are you lying to me?"

Zi Han's desolate voice startled Ke'er on the other end of the phone.

"I... I didn't lie to you?!"

"I've been around every corner of city n but I can't see a trace of Ruofei... Didn't you say she's in city n?" Zi Han asked hoarsely.

"But if it's not true, it's right in city n." Ke'er suddenly remembered something and asked, "How did you find it?"

"There are only a few places where you can sing and dance in the palm-sized places in N City. I should be able to inquire about Ruofei's whereabouts by giving them a little money. But no one knows Ruofei..."

Ke'er laughed when he heard "giggle", thinking that if Fei returned to n City, he must not have used the name "Ruo Fei", plus he insisted on not dancing in reverse, of course no one would know who Ruo Fei was.

"What are you laughing at?" Zi Han asked angrily.

"I laugh..." Ke'er thought for a while and said, "I laugh, only I can find Ruofei for you."

"why?"

"Because...we are good sisters." Ke'er said affirmatively, "Don't worry, I promise to bring Ruofei to you within three days."

"Okay, it's a deal."

"Of course." Ke'er changed the subject and said, "But you have to promise me one condition."

"Go ahead."

"You have to be nice to Ruofei in the future."

"You don't need to worry about this." Zi Han said impatiently.

"Also, you have to be nice to me." Maybe Xu'er felt that this sentence was a bit vain, so he followed it up: "It's best if I can get a place in the dance competition and get a house."

"You are such an insatiable woman," Zi Han sneered, "Maybe I can give you a ranking, but I definitely don't have a house. Don't negotiate terms with me anymore, my patience is limited."

Ke'er cursed bitterly in her heart: "Men are all bastards! Crazy!"

No matter how much Ke'er complained in her heart, she did not break her promise to Zi Han.Within three days, she brought Ruofei to Zihan's temporary office in the sales office of Anju Paradise, and brought him in front of Zihan.

"If not, you...how did you become so haggard? Hair...your hair was cut short."

Zihan excitedly stepped forward and hugged Ruofei, wanting to hold her in his arms immediately.

Ruofei glanced at Ke'er next to him, subconsciously took a step back, forced a smile and said, "It's too hot, so...so I cut my hair short."

"Why did you leave quietly without saying hello, don't you want to continue dancing?" Zi Han asked eagerly.

"Dancing doesn't have to be in the form of a competition, as long as you like to dance... There is a stage everywhere..." Ruo Fei lowered his head and said in a low voice.

"If she hadn't come back this time, she would have continued her dance competition." Ke'er interjected from the side.

"Okay, okay, it will be easy when you come back, everything will be easy." Zi Han put his arm around Ruofei's shoulder and shook it, "The dance competition can go on normally, and the real estate sales can also go on normally, don't you think so? Ah, if not."

Ruofei glanced at Ke'er again, and nodded slightly as an answer.

Ever since Ke Er left with that rich old man, if she hadn't been disheartened and decided to completely forget Ke Er.That's why he left n city and came to Binshi alone incognito.

If it wasn't for the fact that he never dreamed of meeting Ke'er in the dance competition organized by Zi Han, hope was rekindled in his heart.He thought this was an opportunity God gave him, an opportunity for him to be a man again.

But when he ran to Ke Er to confess his love to her full of hope, he was rejected by her again.If it weren't for the indescribable despair.He thought what was the point of continuing to live like this.

So if you don't think of death.

If it wasn't for lying on the bed and imagining all kinds of ways to die, but every way of death that can be imagined seems to require great courage.He couldn't have done it without admitting that he didn't have the courage.

If it wasn't for the edification I received since I was a child, it would be how to express beauty, happy, happy, excited, animals, plants, nature, etc. All things in the world should be expressed with dance, body and "beauty".

Even if it is tragic, magnificent, poignant, sad, painful, etc., all things that are contrary to beauty, for an actor who has received dance training since childhood, he must use the feeling of "beauty" to explain and render. Performance.

As for death, for the act of self-destruction and self-extinction from the world, if you don't imagine various possible ways of death, you even think about what kind of expression you will use to die to look more beautiful.For this reason, if it wasn't for him, he got up from the bed and danced a dance about death casually in the bedroom with bare feet.

After jumping out of breath and sweating profusely, Ruofei completely eliminated the word "death" from his mind.

If it wasn't for throwing himself on the bed on his back.well!What is love in the world?The person I like doesn't like me, but the person I can't like is devoted to me.

Thinking of Zi Han, Ruo Fei's heart suddenly became complicated.

If it weren't for Zi Han being able to provide himself with a stage to show himself.Whether it is Dong'er or Ruofei, every dance I dance is pure and beautiful without commercial pollution that I want to express...

Even if it wasn't for him, he didn't expect that after a dance competition, his soul would be purified and sublimated again and again in a very serious dance.

If he didn't feel that the evil and worldliness were disappearing from his body like a thread, he seemed to have regained the pure dance for the sake of dancing without the pressure of survival and not being forced by life.

When Ke'er rejected her love again, especially after Ke'er put forward some unreasonable conditions that she could never satisfy her material and money reality, Ruo Fei chose to escape.In Keer's words, it's running away.

Yes, escape.

If he didn't want to escape the cruel reality of all material money, at the same time he also wanted to escape Zi Han's kindness and tenderness towards him.

The more Zi Han treats Ruo Fei kindly, the more guilty Ruo Fei feels.guilty!If it weren't for the occasional selfish #desire, but the heart is still quite pure.

Ke'er found Ruofei at a certain nightclub in City N without any difficulty.At this moment, he was wearing a black costume covered in sequins and was sitting in the corner dejectedly waiting for the opportunity to perform.

"Hey, dead Dongzi!"

Every time when confronted with Ruo Fei's man dressing up, Ke'er would call Ruo Fei by the title of "Dead Dongzi" or "Stinky Dongzi".

Ruofei raised his eyes to look at Ke'er, then lowered his head again.She thought that if she was wearing a woman's makeup at this moment, Ke'er might step forward and hug her.

"Look at your outfit, tsk tsk, you don't feel neglected every day." Ke'er glanced at Ruofei, who was drooping his head and said nothing, "Can you have enough to eat without business?

If it wasn't for no answer, he would just sit there with his legs swinging loosely as if nothing had happened.He didn't like Kerr's description of her dance performance as a business, it was so vulgar.

"Hey, I said you, a dead Dongzi, dare to ignore me?" Ke'er said angrily, "My good sister came all the way to see you, what's your attitude?"

"What's my attitude? Is my attitude important?" Ruo Fei finally raised his head, and originally wanted to get angry and growl, but the tone of his voice was filled with endless grievances, "Anyway, you never cared about me..."

Ke'er laughed, "Look at you, when will I stop caring about you? Aren't we good sisters? Besides, don't I want you to come here specifically for you?"

Ruofei raised his head and tried his best to let the tears that were about to flow back, trying to suppress his grievance and pain.

Ke'er said while patting Ruofei's shoulder, "Hey, do you really like me?"

"of course."

"Then...how do you like it?" Ke'er asked again.

"If you like it, you just like it." Ruo Fei sat there with his head down, his legs swinging back and forth non-stop.

"No, you have to tell me how you like it." Ke'er asked persistently.

Ruofei thought about it, "It's like when I was a child, I saw a doll in the store and wanted to buy it home."

"Look at what you said, rag doll? Paying back a paper tiger." Ke'er tilted her head and asked, "Since you like me, will you listen to what I say?"

"Of course I did." Ruofei raised her head and replied seriously.

"Then you should do what I tell you to do, right?"

"It should be... right." Ruofei paused for a moment and asked anxiously, "What do you want me to do?"