Bloody Journey: Those Years in Northeast China

Chapter 52 Thief Company II

Although the battalion commander did not go to the Industrial and Commercial Bureau to register a "Thief Financial Co., Ltd." license, he did form a company model naturally.

In the late 80s, two famous cross talk actors, Niu Qun and Feng Gong, perhaps inspired by the battalion commander, performed such a cross talk at the Spring Festival Gala of a certain year.

In order to commemorate the pioneering thinking of the battalion commander’s misunderstanding, and to pay tribute to the two masters of comic dialogue, this article is excerpted from this comic dialogue as follows:

Niu: Ah, Feng Gong Feng: Yes

Niu: Comedian Feng: It's me

Niu: I really envy your work.Feng: Don't say that

Niu: You just move your mouth but don't move your hands. There is no injury at all after the cross talk. Feng: You plan to let us see blood when we finish the cross talk, right?

Niu: So my work cannot compare with yours.Feng: What's the matter?

Niu: We were beaten twice in three days. Feng: Oh, you took part in boxing.

Niu: I am too old to die.Feng: Confrontation is strong.

Bull: The risk is too great.Feng: Then you will see your spirit!

Niu: be on tenterhooks.Feng: Just get used to it.

Niu: I'm afraid people will catch me.Feng: You hide quickly.

Niu: If caught, they will be beaten to death.Feng: Then the opponent committed a foul.

Niu: He cares about you.Just a few days ago, six young men hung me up and beat me, cursing while beating me.Feng: How did you scold?

Niu: Let your kid steal the wallet!Feng: No, are you a thief?

Niu: You see, you are such an educated person and your words are so ugly, what is a thief?Feng: Then I should call you——

Niu: Out of pocket!Feng: Is this different from this?

Niu: I really have enough.In order to steal this little thing, he murmured and shrank secretly all day long.Trembling and frightened, sneaking around and living a life that is not chic at all.I'm really enough, I regret how I became a thief?Feng: Just understand

Niu: How about highway robbery?Really, blocking the road and robbing is caught and killed, so as to save such a life and suffering.

Feng: Hey, I said, as long as you make up your mind to correct it, I will do my best to help you.

Niu: Well-meaning people, this sentence is all there is.Feng: Is it right?

Niu: Let me wash my hands and quit, and they won't let me go.Feng: Have you joined a hooligan gang?

Niu: Who joined the hooligan gang?Feng: Then——

Niu: The one I joined was called Company of Thieves Feng: Company of Thieves?

Niu: The full name is Thief Financial Co., Ltd.Feng: How many employees does your company have?

Niu: More than 100 people.Feng: More than 100 thieves?

Niu: Not all of them are thieves. We are the two who really insist on working on the front line.Feng: What about the others?

Niu: They are all leading cadres. Feng: There are also leading cadres in your thief company?

Niu: Hey, what you said: "The train runs fast, it all depends on the front belt. The cadres take the lead, the thief is motivated, and the thief has no leader. It is definitely not good to steal. Either steal less, or can't run." Feng: So what cadres do you have?

Niu: There are too many cadres, one general manager and 48 deputy managers.Feng: 48 people?

Niu: Each takes care of one share.Feng: What do you care?

Niu: Some are in charge of administration, some are in charge of business, some are in charge of organization, some are in charge of publicity, some are in charge of logistics, and some are in charge of family planning...

Feng: No, wait a moment, wait a moment, does your thief company still have family planning?

Niu: Hey, what you said is that the whole country plays a game of chess, and we thieves are no exception.If everyone had family planning, we thieves would give birth casually, big thieves would give birth to thieves, thieves would give birth to young thieves, more and more thieves would be born, and fewer and fewer good people, who would we steal from?

Feng: You are also doing this for ecological balance.

Niu: Of course, this is all at a higher level.When it comes to the departments at the next level, the division of labor is even more detailed.

Feng: What subjects do you have?

Niu: Just take the security department as an example. Feng: No, wait a minute, why does your thief company need the security department?

Niu: It's very necessary. More than 100 thieves gather together. If there is no security department, then the company will lose everything in a blink of an eye?Our company's thieves issued, the 1990 No. [-] document clearly pointed out: the more the den of thieves, the more the anti-theft work must be strengthened!

Feng: House thieves are hard to guard against.

Niu: Of course, these are all permanent institutions. To catch up with a central task, many temporary institutions have to be added.

Feng: Are there any organizations?

Niu: That's too much. You think you have to set up a spring bandit to run it during the Spring Festival. Feng: What?Spring robbers?

Niu: Raid the office during the Spring Festival, referred to as the Spring Bandit Office.

Niu: Set up the Female Bandit Office.Feng: May Fourth Youth Day?

Niu: Green bandits do it!Feng: Children's Day?

Niu: My son steals it!Feng: I don't miss any holidays.

Niu: Don't say that it's the New Year's Eve, today we will set up a Yuan Pirate for the New Year's Eve party!Feng: Did you steal here?

Niu: Our director came to the scene in person!Feng: Who is your director?

Niu: Don't tell me. Feng: Just sue me. Niu: Our director is—Feng: Who?

Bull: Li Zheng!Feng: Comrades, comrades, be careful, you may start this at any time

Niu: Actually, they are all fake institutions.Nothing to do, this person is superfluous, and in the first few years it was said to be downsized. The first downsizing left about 80 people, the second downsizing left more than 120 people, and the third time down, [-] people.Feng: The more streamlined, the more people.

Niu: There is no way, they all came through the back door through the relationship.The superior sent.When you come, you have to be a cadre.In fact, we are a highly professional unit... It does not mean that individuals come to our work as cadres.A layman leads an expert, and blindly directs.There is nothing wrong with it. If you say this person is okay, the higher-ups say no;There is a couplet circulating in our place, which is too illustrative.Feng: What couplet?

Niu: The first couplet is, if you say you can do it, you can do it, and if you can’t, you can do it. Feng: The second couplet.

Niu: If you say no, it won't work, and it won't work.Feng: horizontal batch

Niu: Not convinced. Feng: This is still a generation of educated thieves.

Niu: The most terrible thing is to set up a team and set a target of several thousand yuan.Feng: Then steal it.

Niu: It's easier said than done, you haven't stolen recently Feng: That is.I didn't steal it, I just

Niu: Just say it, we have few manpower to steal big items, so it’s not worth it to steal small items.I dare not take the passbook if I steal it.Want to steal cash but afraid of running into plainclothes.Sometimes it's exhausting.After hard work, he couldn't steal tens of thousands of dollars in one day.Feng: That's a lot of that.

Niu: No, the key is that you can't keep up with him and take your time. Feng: As for it?

Niu: Let me do the math for you Feng: Okay, you do the math

Niu: There are more than 100 thieves in our company. They eat, drink, sleep, and move. It costs money, right?Feng: It costs money

Niu: It costs money to go to tourist spots endlessly to study and hold meetings, right?Feng: Oh...

Niu: That’s not enough, our leading cadres still have to go abroad for investigation!You said that you are a thief company, why did you go abroad to investigate?Said it was to learn advanced foreign theft technology!Feng: You could say that this is also to break out of Asia and sneak into the world, right?

Niu: The most intolerable thing is to see other companies advertise on TV, and our company also advertises!

Feng: Your thief company also wants to advertise?

Niu: Even the advertisement words have been written.Feng: What word?

Niu: "My friend, do you want to get rich quickly? Please join Thief Company, it can make you rich overnight. The contact person of this company...Feng: Who is it?"

Niu: It is not suitable to spread.Feng: Phone number?

Niu: Keep it secret for now.Feng: Fax number?

Bull: No comment.Feng: The address of the unit?

Niu: One shot changes the place.Feng: Where can I find that?

Niu: You can't find it. The police stopped us several times.Feng: Really?

Niu: I saw this posture, and quickly wrote a report: In view of the tight rumors, it is recommended that all personnel in the company be transferred immediately!If no, please specify!Feng: Did you hand it over?

Niu: Leave it to the deputy team leader.Feng: Oh, the deputy team leader takes care of this matter

Niu: The deputy group leader took it over to have a look, and first drew a circle.Feng: Draw a circle?

Niu: This is called circle reading.Means basically agree.Feng: That's it.

Niu: Let the team leader decide.Feng: It's up to the team leader to take care of it.

Niu: The team leader took it over and took a look, first drew a circle Feng: Draw another circle?

Niu: Please let the deputy section chief decide!Feng: Hehe

Niu: The deputy section chief first drew a circle Feng: Mmmmmmm

Niu: Let the section chief decide.Feng: Hey

Niu: The section chief first drew a circle and asked the deputy manager to decide. Feng: Hey

Niu: The deputy manager took it and drew a circle.Feng: Just draw five circles.

Niu: Let the general manager decide.If you want to talk about work efficiency, talk about our general manager.Feng: Really?

Niu: Take it here and look at it like this, five circles, Feng: Ah

Bull: Got it.Feng: Oh

Niu: I picked up the pen and wrote a few words in a swish.Feng: How was it approved?

Bull: Agreed!Feng: Oh!

Niu: Go to the Olympics to steal!Feng: Is that the Olympics?

Niu: Before we finished writing, the police hula blocked us in the house.Feng: the

Niu: When I wear cold handcuffs, I think it's over, it's all over.I am desperate, the more desperate I am, the more regretful I am, the more regretful and annoyed I am.I am angry from the heart, evil to the gallbladder.I said, all blame!I report this!you!Comrade policemen, bureaucracy kills people!

Lao Qi still remembers laughing back and forth when watching cross talk back then, so he simply excerpted this entire article for everyone to enjoy.

The story told by the battalion commander is definitely a realistic version of the development history of the thief company, so Shen Tianlong couldn't laugh or cry after hearing it.