Learn some wonderful questioning techniques, mind reading techniques, and psychological control tech

Chapter 118
Medium: Mind Reading: Knowing and Influencing Those Around You Without Knowing It
Chapter 7 Mind-reading exercise 7: The social code of the Enneagram
Section [-] Mediation Personality: It’s hard to say “no” if you don’t know how to refuse

Aspects of mind reading:
What kind of person is a "mediator personality"?
Wonderful interpretation of mind:
In life, the most difficult word to say is "no", especially for people with a mediating personality who are easily influenced by other people's emotions, saying "no" is quite difficult.From the perspective of the mediator, saying "no" to others is as uncomfortable as being rejected yourself.They prefer to nod and agree with others rather than express their anger openly, for fear that anger will lead to separation.

However, if you don't know how to say no, the convenience will once again ask you to make concessions.In this way, the time, energy, and money that originally belonged to you may be taken away by him, and it will be useless to regret it at that time.

Not long after Hans started working, his aunt came to visit him.Hans accompanied his aunt around the town, and it was time for dinner.

At that time, Hans only had 20 dollars, which was all he could spend to entertain his aunt who was very kind to him.He really wanted to find a small restaurant to eat casually, but his aunt chose a very decent restaurant.Hans had no choice but to follow her in.

After the two sat down, my aunt began to order.When she asked Hans for advice, Hans just said vaguely: "Whatever, whatever." At this moment, his heart was in a state of panic, and he was clutching the only 20 dollars in his pocket. .

But my aunt didn't notice Hans' uneasiness at all. She kept praising the delicious food here, but Hans didn't taste anything.At last the moment came, and the polite waiter brought the bill and walked straight to Hans, who opened his mouth but said nothing.

The aunt smiled softly, and she took the bill, gave the money to the waiter, and said to Hans, "I know how you feel, child. I've been waiting for you to say 'no,' but why don't you? I know, sometimes you must say this word bravely and resolutely, this is the best choice..."

In life, when you encounter things beyond your power, you must bravely learn to refuse.On the other hand, if the words of rejection are not spoken well, it may lead to negative effects such as being hated by others. Therefore, we must master some skills of rejecting others, so as to effectively reject others without losing etiquette.

1. Clever transfer method

When it is not good to directly refuse, you can adopt a roundabout tactic, whether it is to change the topic or have other reasons, the main thing is to be good at using the turning point of the tone-never agree, but it will not tear your face.For example, if someone invites you to a party, if you don't want to attend, you can say something like this: "Thank you very much for the invitation. However, it happens that I have important things to do and I am sorry that I won't be able to attend. Please give my thanks to everyone. Greetings." Such a statement is very appropriate, and will not affect the relationship between the two parties.

2. Humorous rejection method

This is also a great way to do it.Humorous refusal is to hope that the other party will retreat in spite of difficulties.Qian Zhongshu used a wonderful metaphor when rejecting others.Once, Qian Zhongshu said to an English lady who wanted to visit him on the phone: "If you eat an egg and think it's good, why do you need to know the hen that lays eggs?" Lively, and showing an amiable character, he rejected the other party with humor.

3.offense as defense

In other words, it is "to use the spear of others to attack the shield of others".If an acquaintance asks you to borrow money, but the other party is doing some improper things (such as gambling), at this time, you can make your own request first before the other party makes a request: "What a coincidence! I happened to meet you, I I was going to ask you to borrow some money..." If the other party heard you say that, he would naturally not ask you to borrow money again, and he might even regret that he found the wrong person.

4. Body expression

Generally speaking, shaking your head means negation. When others see you shaking your head, they will understand what you mean, and you don't need to say any more after that.This is the best way to say no when confronted by a salesman.In addition, the interruption of a smile is also a hint of rejection. The sudden interruption of a smile implies that the other party cannot agree with your point of view or refuses.Similar body language includes: adopting a leaning posture, wandering eyes, looking at the watch frequently, absent-minded... But don't hurt the other party's self-esteem.

In short, tactful rejection is not only a strategy, but also an art.To speak euphemistically is the expression of sincerity.As a modern person, one should have this awareness of civilization and master this language expression that is conducive to interpersonal communication.

Test Results
Below 20 points: You tend to have an anti-status personality
Anti-status quo personality traits can easily make you dissatisfied with the status quo, and the inevitable small friction or unsatisfactory life will make you complain again and again, as if the whole world is sorry for you.Feeling that you are hitting a wall everywhere, you are prone to emotional instability, and it is difficult for you to restrain your impulse, and it is difficult for you to have the enthusiasm to engage in the same job for a long time.

21-30 points: You tend to have a borderline personality
People with borderline personality traits have obvious likes and dislikes, and they can hold on to people or things they like; they have extreme aversion to people or things they don't like, and even launch destructive revenge.Especially for things that you can't get, you are more likely to turn love into hatred, and you will try your best to destroy it.So you are also a high-risk group for love killings.

31-40 points: You tend to have a dramatic personality
People with dramatic personality traits like to enjoy applause, are afraid of loneliness, and are very concerned about other people's opinions and ideas about themselves.You like to express yourself as best you can, and you also like to stand in a leadership position. You have a desire to dominate others and are easy to boss others around.Sometimes I rely too much on my own thoughts to control the situation around me, and often offend my friends without knowing it.

More than 40 points: you tend to have a narcissistic personality
People with narcissistic personality traits are self-centered, and others, even relatives, are just red flowers and green leaves, a foil embellishment, and it is difficult to have an equal relationship.Affected by the sense of self-superiority, you speak naturally and with a high profile, like pointing at everything, and can't stand others' challenges to your authority.

(End of this chapter)