There are too many routines for paranoid male gods

Chapter 415 A Strange Feeling of Loss

The movie is so beautiful, it seems to have fulfilled a beautiful dream for her.

She wants to play, she wants to play this role.She even felt that she was this role, or rather, she wanted to be this role!
Because I am not as lucky as her, I want this perfection.

May I?
What Mo Nianchen said this morning came to her mind again...

——Do you like filming?Or do you only like filming with Situ Ye?
She didn't know why he suddenly asked her such a strange question, and she couldn't answer his question.

Because she doesn't like filming that much, let alone like to be with Situ Ye.

But if she insisted on filming, and had to choose someone to partner with her, she would definitely... definitely choose Situ Ye.

Because he made her feel safe.

Because she knew that he would not hurt her.

——Did you think about the question I asked you to think about at Shili Hongzhuang that day?

Thinking of these words, Li Shengxia couldn't help but clenched his fists.

He talked too much that day, she tried to sort it out, but she couldn't figure it out...

Sometimes it is easy to say that forgiveness, maybe it is not a matter of whether one person should forgive another person.There were too many problems blocking them, and she couldn't list and explain them, but she knew that such a gap was difficult to eliminate.

Even if they are forced to get close to each other, the ending will definitely still break up unhappy.

He always appears in her dreams...

She wanted him to appear in her dreams, but was afraid that he would appear in her dreams.

Because, she clearly knew that she could no longer bear another lost morning...another morning without him.

——Situ Ye and I, who would you choose! ?Must choose one!Who will you choose! ?Would you choose Situ Ye?

——Don't choose him.

——You can film if you like filming, but don’t film with him.

——I don't like Situ Ye!

——You mustn’t like him either!

She was a little stunned thinking of this, she didn't know why he said such strange words.

Why did she choose between him and Situ?

Situ was her friend, and he was the lover she missed...

She didn't have to choose anything, she didn't need to choose anything, and she couldn't choose anything.She didn't even know how he came up with this multiple choice question.

What she didn't understand even more was why he ordered her coldly the last second.The next second, as if he had exhausted all his strength, he said sorry to her palely...

——I just don't want you and Situ Ye to get too close.

——I don't stop you from having your friends, you have your hobbies, you have your life, I just...

——You can do whatever you want.

……

What is he?What did he mean by what he didn't say?In the end, he let her go because of respect, because of fulfillment, or because of powerless compromise and concession?
Pei Yunke told her that she saw Mo Nianchen standing at the door of the company watching her get off Situ's car...

When he got off work today, he was not like usual, he insisted on going home with her...

Where did the strange sense of loss in her heart come from?
Is she not supposed to take this drama?
He doesn't like her acting with Situ Ye...

but……

Why should she arrange her life because of his feelings?
Besides, she really likes this drama... This role seems to be tailor-made for her, and she is reluctant to give it up.

Maybe, she likes acting?
Should she give up?

Why do you always think about Mo Nianchen and those words.

Keep replaying his expression when he said those words...

It seemed a little powerless, a little sad, and... helpless.

Li Shengxia shook her head...

She didn't want to keep thinking about it.

She washed up and fell on the bed.

She closed her eyes, Mo Nianchen appeared in her mind...

She opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling, Mo Nianchen appeared on the ceiling again...

He didn't show up tonight, did something happen to him?He doesn't pester her anymore, isn't that what she wants?

She looked at her phone, but there was no missed call or SMS notification.

She threw away the phone, feeling upset again...

Since when did Mo Nianchen disturb her mind again! ?How could she not remember at all!
Why does this guy always appear in front of her? It annoys her when he leaves, and annoys her if he doesn't leave. No matter what he does, she can't help guessing his thoughts! ?

Is she crazy?Why did she insist on guessing about him!
Is she crazy! ?Why should she care about his feelings!

She wants to do what she wants, just do it, right? ?
Why is she tossing and turning because of some inexplicable words of his! ?

She remembered how he asked Chi Su to stop, agreed with her to get out of the car, left her in the road, and left without looking back...

She recalled the sound of the roaring engine, and the icy wind that seemed to carry his breath...

It was as if he was abandoned by her on the way, and he felt a sense of loss for no reason.

And she didn't even understand where this sense of loss came from.

She must be a very strange woman, right?She clearly knows what is right and what is wrong, but she still keeps making mistakes, keeps making mistakes...

She clearly knew what should and shouldn't, but she kept doing things she shouldn't do, thinking of him over and over again.

at the same time--

Mo Nianchen's car was parked in front of Li Shengxia's door. He rolled down the window and looked at her room with the lights off. He was absent-minded for a long time.

He lit a cigarette, but didn't take a puff. He let the circles of smoke circle around his fingertips, enveloping his vision.

Always don't know what to do to get her back, always don't know what to do to get her back.

It seems that she has exhausted all methods and played all the roles, but she still seems unmoved.

Is this the saddest thing in love?When you are deeply attached to someone, you deeply find that no matter how many things you do for her, she will never stay for you even for a second.

In fact, he should have become accustomed to such loneliness.

However, he will still struggle desperately like a lunatic who is at a loss.

He knew he shouldn't embarrass her.

He just...

I don't know how to face this overwhelmed self.

As if in her life, the redundant self.

He has been constantly looking for a sense of existence, trying to leave a trace in her life, but every time he looks into her eyes, he feels that he has never been in her world.

This feeling of loneliness keeps repeating itself.He felt tired and lethargic.

Is it really better to give up?
Did she want him to let her go more?

Is this the best outcome?

It won't embarrass her, it won't make her struggle...

but……

(End of this chapter)