Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 39

After her cousin and sister-in-law had gone, Elizabeth, as if intending to annoy herself as much as possible with Mr. Darcy, turned out all the letters that Jane had sent her since her arrival in Kent. , read carefully.There was no whining in the letter, no further references to previous relationships, and no voicing of her present pain.But in all these letters there is nothing in the lines of her usual cheerful style, which springs from the tranquility of her mind, from her kindness to everyone. , it had never been shadowed before.Elizabeth read the letters intently, and in every sentence she had overlooked in reading them the first time she read an uneasiness.She felt her sister's anguish all the more when she recalled Mr. Darcy's shameless boast of his ability to inflict pain.It gave her some consolation that his visit to Rosings would end the day after tomorrow, and she would be with Jane again in a fortnight, and then she would pour out all her love. To help my sister regain her spirits.

The thought of Mr. Darcy's departure from Kent could not help remembering that his cousin was going with him; but since Colonel Fitzwilliam had made it clear that he had no other intentions, in spite of the Colonel's He's very likable, and she won't hold any grudges against him.

In the midst of these thoughts, she heard the ringing of the doorbell, and her heart skipped a beat, thinking that it might be Colonel Natswilliam himself, for one of his visits came later in the evening, and this Once it was probably a special visit to greet her.But this idea was soon dismissed, and her heart sank when she was surprised to find that it was Mr. Darcy who had entered the room.On entering, Mr. Darcy began eagerly to inquire if she was any better, and said that he had come mainly to hope to hear of her recovery.She answered him coldly but politely.After sitting for a while, he suddenly stood up and paced back and forth in the room.Although he felt strange, he didn't say a word.After a few minutes of silence, he walked towards Elizabeth anxiously, and said:

"Whatever I try, it is in vain. My feelings can no longer be restrained. You must allow me to tell you how passionately I admire and love you."

Elizabeth's astonishment at this moment was beyond words.She was dumbfounded, and her face turned crimson with suspicion.Mr. Darcy took this circumstance as an encouragement on his part, and all his present and past affections for her immediately followed.He spoke passionately, but besides the passion of love, he gave details of other feelings, and his confidings of his haughty sentiments were almost equal to his tenderness.He felt that her status was low, that this marriage was a condescension, and that there were various obstacles from the family. He felt that if his family was taken into account, his reason would oppose his love. The words were very passionate, as if it was out of some wrongedness he was suffering, and it couldn't be out of the love he poured out.

Notwithstanding Elizabeth's deep dislike for him, she could not remain indifferent to the true feelings of such a man, and though her mind was never shaken in the slightest, she felt at first the pain he was about to suffer. It was just that his later words aroused her resentment, which made her lose all pity for him in her anger.However, she still tried to keep herself calm, thinking of answering him as politely as possible after he finished talking.Darcy reiterated to her at the end of his speech that the power of this love was so great that, in spite of all his efforts, he found he could not conquer him, and he wished now that she could use it The act of accepting his courtship made it all right.As he said these words, she could see that he had no doubt that he would get a satisfactory answer.Although he said that he was worried and anxious now, but he showed a look of sure victory.This kind of situation can only add fuel to the flames. As soon as he stopped talking, she flushed with anger and said:

"In a situation like this, I think it is customary to express gratitude to the other party for the affection shown. Although it is difficult for you to give the same return, it is natural to breed a sense of gratitude here. If I feel such an emotion now that I would be grateful to you at this moment. But I don't—I never wanted your favorable comments, and you must have been reluctant to give them. I don't want to cause pain to anyone. If I cause you pain now, it is completely unintentional, and I also hope it is short-lived. I think after my explanation, your Those feelings that have always prevented you from feeling good about me will easily overcome the pain."

Mr. Darcy leaned on the mantelpiece and listened, while his eyes rested on her face with a mixture of vexation and wonder.His face turned pale with rage, and the inner turmoil was revealed from every part of his facial features. He tried his best to restore his superficial composure, until he felt that he could restrain himself, and then he spoke again.This silence worried Elizabeth greatly.Finally, Mr. Darcy said in a tone of barely managed calm:
"Is that all the answers I have been honored to expect to hear? Perhaps I can ask you why I have received such a flat and rude refusal? But that is irrelevant."

"I would also like to ask," she replied, "how it is that you, obviously intending to offend and insult me, should accuse me that, in order to like me, you have even violated your will, reason, and character. What? If I'm rude, isn't that the reason I'm not polite? And I have other reasons. You know I have. Even if my feelings are not against you, it doesn't matter to you , or even say that I have a good impression of you, even if this is the case, think about it, how could I accept a man who ruined, perhaps forever, the happiness of my dearest sister?"

While she was saying these words, Mr. Darcy's countenance changed; but this change of feeling lasted so short that he listened to her go on without interjecting.

"I have all the reasons in the world to think that you are not a good person. No matter what your motives are, you can't erase the ruthless and unjust actions you have done in this matter. You dare not and cannot deny your You are the mastermind in this matter, even though you are not the only one who caused their separation; you caused the man to be accused of being insane, and the woman was ridiculed for guessing and dreaming of beautiful things, and you pushed them both away. into the most painful situation."

She stopped, and couldn't help feeling angry when she saw him listening with an air of indifference and no remorse.He even watched her with a disbelieving smile.

"Can you deny that you didn't do it?" she asked again.

He replied with a calm look: "I don't want to deny that I did everything in my power to break up the relationship between my friend and your sister, and I don't want to deny that I am proud of my success." Delighted from the bottom of my heart. I was better for him than for myself."

Elizabeth pretended to be disdainful to pay attention to these words on the surface, but of course she understood the meaning of these words, but this could not calm her resentment.

"Not only in this one thing," she went on, "I hate you. I had an opinion of you long before this. I knew it from Wickham a few months ago. What are you? What would you say about Wickham? What kind of romantic friendship would you justify yourself here? Or, what would you be upside down here? Right and wrong, to influence other people’s opinions?”

"You are quite interested in that gentleman's affairs." Darcy's voice was not so calm now, and his face was also red.

"As long as he knows his misfortune, who can not have a kind of sympathy and interest in him?"

"His misfortune!" repeated Darcy contemptuously. "Yes, his misfortune is certainly not small."

"It's all your fault," cried Elizabeth passionately, "that you've brought him to the poverty he is in. You've taken back all the privileges you know you've decided to give him. You've deprived him of life." The best years in his life deprived him of the basis for an independent life, which you should have given him, and his character deserved. You ruined everything about him! But you can still use that A contemptuous and derisive reference to his misfortune."

"That's what you think of me!" cried Darcy, walking briskly about the room. "That's what you think of me! I thank you for setting them out so fully. Judging by the circumstances , My mistakes are indeed very serious! But," he stopped, turned to her, and continued, "perhaps, you would not care about these mistakes of mine, if I hadn't been frank. I have hurt your pride by telling you all the scruples which have long prevented me from making up my mind to woo you. Perhaps these severe reproaches against me might have been restrained by you, if I had managed to keep my mouth shut. My ideological struggle, but sweet words to convince you how pure and passionate I love you; whether it is from any aspect of reason, or from emotional thinking. However, no matter what kind of cover-up Pretense and pretense disgust me. And I am not ashamed of those scruples I have just mentioned. They are all natural and reasonable. Can you expect me to be happy for your lowly relatives? Can you expect me to congratulate myself for some relatives whose status and status are far lower than mine in the future?"

Elizabeth felt herself growing more and more angry; however, when she spoke again, she tried to assume an air of equanimity:
"Mr. Darcy, if you think that the manner of your statement has had that effect on me, you are mistaken; your statement is precisely to relieve my fear after rejecting you, if you If I behaved a little more decently, I might have this worry."

She noticed that he was taken aback by this, but said nothing, so she went on:

"Actually, no matter what method you use to woo me, it's impossible for me to be tempted to accept it."

His surprise was palpable again; he watched her with a mixture of disbelief and humiliation on his face.She continued:
"From the very beginning, from the first moment I saw you, your demeanor which strikes me as utterly arrogant, your ego, your selfish indifference to other people's feelings, has shaped me. The basis of dissatisfaction with you, upon which, in subsequent events, I have had that ineradicable dislike for you, which I felt in less than a month after I had known you Of all the men in the world, I'm the one I don't want to marry the most."

"You've said quite a bit, miss. I fully understand your feelings, and at the moment I have to be ashamed of them. Forgive me for taking up so much of your time, and allow me to Sincerely wish you health and happiness."

After speaking, he hurriedly left the room.Later Elizabeth heard him open the front door and walk out of the hall.

At this time, her mind was in a mess and her heart was in great pain.Not knowing how to support herself, she sat down and wailed for half an hour in exhaustion.Recalling the scene that just passed, her sense of surprise grew.She should be proposed by Mr. Darcy!He had secretly loved her for so many months!And so much in love that he no longer considered the reasons he used to prevent his friend from marrying her sister, which should have been as forceful in preventing his own marriage!How unbelievable it all is!It made me feel proud to think that I had unintentionally aroused such a strong love from someone.But his pride, his loathsome pride, his confession of hurting Jane, his indifference in referring to Mr. Wickham (he did not try to deny his Cobham's cruelty), all of which quickly took away the pity that had evoked at the thought of his affection for her a few minutes earlier.

She had been in such troubled thoughts till she heard the sound of Lady Catherine's carriage, when she realized what she was showing to Carlotta, and ran back to her own room. in.

(End of this chapter)