History

Chapter 125 Funny Biographies
Confucius said: "The six scorpions are governed by one. Rituals are used to treat people, joy is used to make peace, books are used to explain things, poems are used to express ideas, easy to deify, and spring and autumn are used to righteousness."Small talk can also resolve disputes.

Chunyu Kun is the son-in-law of Qi.It is less than seven feet long, funny and argumentative, and envoys to the princes, without humiliation.When King Qi Wei was in hiding, he liked to drink for a long night of lust and pleasure.Hundreds of officials are in chaos, princes are invading, and the country is in danger. At dawn and dusk, no one dares to advise.Chunyu Kun said that Yi Yin said: "There is a big bird in the country. It only stops in the king's court. It has not snarled or sang for three years. What does the king know about this bird?" It's enough, it's a blockbuster." So there were 72 county magistrates in the court, one was rewarded and one was punished, and they fought out.The princes were shocked, and they all invaded the land together.Weixing has been in power for 36 years.The language is in Tian Wan's family.

In the eighth year of King Wei, Chu sent troops to gather Qi.The king of Qi sent Chunyu Kun of Zhao to ask for help. He gave a hundred catties of gold and ten four horses and chariots.Chunyu Kun looked up to the sky and laughed loudly, his crown tasseled.Wang said: "Sir, are you so young?" Kun said: "How dare you!" Pig's hoof, a bowl of wine, I wished: "Ou is full of bonfires, filth and evil are full of carts, the five grains are ripe, and the house is full of rice." The minister saw that what he held was narrow and what he wanted was extravagant, so he laughed." So Qi Qi Wei Wang Naiyi has a thousand overflowing gold, ten pairs of white jade, and a hundred chariots and horses.Kun left and went to Zhao.The king of Zhao and him had one hundred thousand elite soldiers and one thousand leather chariots.When Chu heard about it, he led his troops away at night.

King Wei said that he bought wine in the harem and summoned the wine given by Kun.Asked: "How much can you drink to get drunk, sir?" Confronted: "I am drunk after drinking a bucket, and I am also drunk with a stone." King Wei said: "Mr. Did you hear that?" Kun said, "Before the king gave the wine, the law enforcement was at the side, and the censor was behind. Kun bowed down in fear and drank, but he was drunk after a fight. If you have a strict guest, Kun will bow to the moon and wait for the wine. In the past, when I gave Yuli, I offered a cup to celebrate my birthday. Counting, I can’t drink more than two buckets and get drunk. If friends make friends and haven’t seen each other for a long time, they suddenly meet each other. Five or six Doujing is drunk. If it is a meeting of the prefectures, men and women sit together, drink and stay together, Liu Bo throws a pot, attracts each other as Cao, shakes hands without punishment, eyes can't help, there is a fall in front, a hairpin in the back, and a hairpin. Stealing music here, drinking enough to get you drunk. Sunset and wine, sit together, men and women sit together, shoes are staggered, cups and plates are messed up, candles in the hall are extinguished, the host leaves his hair to see off the guests, Luo Ru removes his lapel, and smells Xiang slightly Ze, at this time, Kun’s heart is the happiest, and he can drink a stone. Therefore, it is said that extreme wine leads to chaos, and extreme music leads to sadness; everything is the same, words cannot be extreme, and extremes will lead to decline.” Use irony to remonstrate.The king of Qi said: "Good." Then he stopped drinking for a long night, and made Kun the host and guest of the princes.The clan buys wine, and the kun tastes it on the side.

After more than a hundred years, there was Youmeng in Chu.

You Meng, so Chu's happy people.Eight feet long, debates a lot, often laughing and admonishing.At the time of King Zhuang of Chu, he loved horses. He wore embroidered clothes and placed them under a luxurious house. He sat on dew beds and ate dried dates.The horse was sick and fat and died, which made the officials mourn and wanted to bury him in the coffin.It is impossible to argue between left and right.The king ordered: "Anyone who dares to remonstrate with a horse will be punished with death." Youmeng heard about it and entered the gate of the palace.He looked up to the sky and cried loudly.Wang was startled and asked why.Youmeng said: "The king of horses loves him. The state of Chu is so majestic. How can he not ask for it? But he should be buried with a doctor's ceremony. If it is thin, please be buried with a gentleman's ceremony." The king said: "How?" Said: "I ask you to use carved jade as the coffin, Wenzi as the outer coffin, Yufeng Yuzhang as the title, armored soldiers as Chuankuang, the old and the weak bear the earth, Qi and Zhao accompany in the front, Han Wei Yiwei behind, and the temple food too. Prison, enshrined as a city of ten thousand households. The princes heard about it, and they all know that the king is a scumbag and the horse is also expensive." The king said: "The widow's fault is as far as this! Why do you want to do it?" Youmeng said: "Please be the king and the six animals. Bury it. Use a long stove as the coffin, a copper calendar as the coffin, take ginger and jujube, recommend magnolia, sacrifice grain and rice, and wear clothes with fire, and bury it in the stomach and intestines of people." So the king sent horses to belong to the eunuch, No wonder the world has heard about it for a long time.

Sun Shuao, Prime Minister of Chu, knew that he was a worthy man and treated him kindly.He was sick and died, and his son said: "When I die, you will be poor. If you go to see Youmeng, tell me that I am the son of Sun Shuao." After living for several years, his son was poor and paid his salary. When he met Youmeng, he said to him: "I am Sun Shu'ao's son. When my father died, I was poor and went to see Youmeng." Youmeng said: "If there is nothing far away." That is Sun Shuao's clothes and words.At the age of more than one year, like Sun Shuao, the king of Chu and his left and right cannot be separated.Zhuang Wang buys wine, and Meng Qian is the birthday.King Zhuang was shocked, thinking that Sun Shuao had come back to life, and wanted to pretend to be his relative.Youmeng said: "Please come back and make a plan with your wife, and we will be your husband in three days." Zhuang Wang promised it.Three days later, You Meng came back.The king said: "What do women say?" Meng said: "Women's words are cautious and do nothing, and the prime minister of Chu is not enough. Just like Sun Shuao, who was the prime minister of Chu, he was loyal and honest to rule Chu, and the king of Chu was able to dominate. Now that he dies, his son has no In the land where the cones stand, the poor pay their own food and drink. It must be like Sun Shuao, it is better to commit suicide." Because of the song: "Living in the mountains and farming the fields are hard, and it is difficult to get food. When you start to be an official, you are greedy and humble, and you don't care about the shame. Wealthy, but also afraid of perverting the law, being raped and committing serious crimes, death and family destruction. Corrupt officials can be safe! Thinking of being honest officials, obeying the law and keeping their duties, they dare not do wrong in death. Honest officials can be safe! Sun Shu'ao, Prime Minister of Chu, maintained integrity until his death, but now his wife is poor and has to pay her wages to eat, which is not enough!" So Zhuang Wang Xie Youmeng summoned Sun Shu'ao's son, sealed four hundred households in the sleeping hills, and worshiped him.The next ten generations will continue.It is time to speak of this knowledge.

After more than two hundred years, Qin Youzhan.

Those who are excellent, Qin advocates dwarfs.It's good to say it with a smile, but it fits the Dao. During the time of Qin Shihuang, when the wine was placed and it rained, everyone in your majesty was cold.When Youzhan saw it, he mourned and said, "Do you want to give up?" Everyone in the palace said, "It's very fortunate." Youzhan said, "I'll call you, and your illness should be promised." Long live Suhu.Youzhan approached the threshold and shouted: "Your Majesty Lang!" So that the majesty can be half-generation.

The first emperor tried to discuss Yu Dayuan, which reached Hangu Pass in the east and Yong and Chencang in the west.Youzhan said: "Good. There are many animals in it. The bandits come from the east, and it is enough for the elk to touch them." The first emperor stopped for a reason.

The second generation stood up and wanted to paint his city.Youzhan said: "Good. Although the lord is silent, I will invite you. Although the lacquer city is a worry for the people, it is wonderful! The lacquer city is turbulent, and the invaders cannot come. If you want to go to it, it is easy to be a lacquer ear. Taking care of difficulties is a shade room." So the second generation laughed at it and stopped because of it.Ju Wuhe, II killed him, Youzhan returned to Han, and died a few years later.

Tai Shigong said: Chunyu Kun looked up to the sky and laughed, King Qi Wei is rampant.Youmeng shook his head and sang, and those who paid the salary would be sealed.Youzhan shouted at the threshold, and youzhan was able to half watch.Wouldn't it be great!

Mr. Chu said: I am fortunate to be a man of classics, and I like to read the rumors of foreign families.Don't be shy about stealing, and rewrite the six chapters of the story's funny words, which are compiled on the left.It can be viewed and expressed to show that future generations who are interested in reading it can read it to entertain their minds and ears, and to benefit from the three chapters of Taishigong above.

During Emperor Wu's time, he was fortunate to advocate Guo Sheren. Although his speeches were not in line with the Dao, they were still arguable.When Emperor Wu was young, Dongwuhou's mother often raised him. When Emperor Wu was strong, he called him "Big Nursing Mother".Rate January and then toward.When the court entered, there was an edict to send the lucky minister Ma Youqing to give fifty pieces of silk to the nursing mother, and also to drink and feed the nursing mother.The nurse wrote a letter saying: "Someone owns the public land, and I would like to get a fake Qianqian." The emperor said: "Do you want to get it from the nurse?"It's not a bad idea to listen to what the nurse said.There is an edict to order the nursing mother to ride in the car and drive along the road.At this time, all ministers and ministers respect the wet nurse.The servants of the nurse's family were violent in Chang'an, stopping people's chariots and horses, and seizing people's clothes.Wen Yuzhong, can not bear to cause the law.You Si asked to move to the wet nurse's house and stay on the sidelines.Can play.The nursing mother should come to the front and meet and say goodbye.The nurse saw Guo Sheren first and wept for her.Sheren said: "I will see you and resign, and I will pay you back with a few steps." As the nurse said, thank you, and I will pay you back with a few steps.Guo Sheren scolded and said: "Hey! Old woman! Why don't you hurry! Your Majesty is already strong, and you would rather have your breasts to live evil? Why do you care?" Stop not migrating wet nurses, and punish those who are relegated.

During the time of Emperor Wu, the people of Qi had the oriental birth name Shuo.When Shuo entered Chang'an at the beginning of the month, he went to the bus to write a letter, and he used three thousand to write a letter.The bus made the two of them hold and lift their books together, but they could only win.The owner reads it from above, stops, and goes to the second place, and reads it for two months.Zhao Bai thought he was a man, and he was often in the side servant.Called to the front to talk about the language, the owner might not say it.The food given by the time edict is before.The meal is over, and the rest of the meat is taken away, and the clothes are all dirty.The silk is given a few times, and the eaves are removed.In vain, he used the money and silk given to him to take young women and make good girls in Chang'an.Those who take the woman's house at the age of one year will discard it, and take the woman even more.All the money given is given to the woman.The master and the left and the right called him "madman".When the host heard about it, he said: "Ling Shuo is a man who does nothing in his work. If he can do it in peace!"In the hall of Shuo Xing, Lang said: "Everyone thinks you are crazy." Shuo said: "Like Shuo, etc., the so-called ones who hide from the world in the court. People in ancient times hide from the world in the mountains." When sitting at the banquet, the wine Han, according to a local song, said: "Lu sinks into the vulgarity and hides from the world at the Golden Horse Gate. You can hide from the world in the palace. Why do you need to be in the mountains, under the Artemisia hut." So it is called "Golden Horse Gate".

At that time, we gathered together Dr. Gong Xia and other gentlemen to discuss with each other, and they shared the difficulties and said: "Su Qin and Zhang Yi are the masters of the ten thousand chariots, and the position of Du Qingxiang will benefit future generations. Today's officials are practicing the art of the previous kings and admiring the righteousness of the saints. , satirizing the words of hundreds of poets and books, innumerable. He wrote on bamboo and silk, thinking that he is unparalleled in the world, and he can be said to be knowledgeable and debating. However, he devoted himself to serving the emperor with all his strength, and accumulated for decades. The position is nothing more than holding a halberd, and those who are willing still have evil behaviors? What is the reason?" Dongfang Sheng said: "It is impossible for a son to prepare for it. It is the same at one time and this one at one time! Husband Zhang Yi and Su Qinzhi At that time, the Zhou family was in great ruin, the princes did not go to court, and they fought for power. , Ze and future generations, descendants will be prosperous. Today is not the case. The holy emperor is on top, the virtues flow to the world, the princes are obedient, and the four barbarians are awe-inspiring. , Mobilize and act, like the palm of luck. What is the difference between the virtuous and the unworthy? Today, the world is so big, and the people of the people, the scholars and the people, are innumerable. Food and clothing, or loss of family. Let Zhang Yi, Su Qin and servants live together in this world, and they have never been able to learn the story. How dare you look forward to the constant servant! It is said: "There is no harm in the world. Although there are sages, there is nothing to use their talents; Similarly, although there are sages, there is no meritorious service.' Therefore, it is said that things are different when the time is different. Although, can you not do self-cultivation? The poem says: 'Drums and bells are in the palace, and the sound is heard outside. Yu Tian.'. If you can cultivate yourself, why should you be disgraceful! Taigong practiced benevolence and righteousness for 72 years. Dare to stop. Scholars in this world, although they are not in use for a long time, are independent and alone, watch Xu You from above, observe public relations from below, follow the same policy as Fan Li, be loyal to their sons and daughters, peace in the world, support righteousness, widows and few disciples , It’s permanent. Why do you doubt it in Yuzai!” So ​​the gentlemen were silent and unable to respond.

After Jianzhang Palace, there is something out of the heavy oak, which looks like a moose.After hearing it, Emperor Wu went to look at it.Ask the left and right ministers who are familiar with the scriptures, no one knows.Zhao Dongfang Shuo looked at it.Shuo said: "Your Majesty knows that I would like to give you fine wine, rice and rice, and I will give you a big meal." The imperial edict said, "Yes." Ji also said, "I have several hectares of pupae reeds in the fish pond of a certain public land. Your majesty will give me the gift. Your Majesty, Shuo Nai." Speak." The imperial edict said: "Yes." So Shuonai was willing to say, saying: "The so-called Zouya is also. The distant place should come to return to righteousness, but Zouya will see first. Its teeth are like the same front and back, equal and toothless, so it is called it. Zouya." At the age of one year later, the Xiongnu Hunxie King Guo sent [-] people to surrender to the Han.Naifu gave Dongfang Sheng a lot of money.

When he was old, when Shuoqie died, he remonstrated and said: "The poem says, 'The camping of bluebottles will stop at the Tibetans. The gentlemen who are loyal and unfaithful will not believe in slander. The slander will not be extreme, and the four countries will be disturbed'. May your majesty stay away from slander and withdraw from slander. The emperor said: "How good is Gu Dongfang Shuo today?"After a short while, Shuo Guo died of illness.It is said: "When a bird is about to die, its song is also mournful; when a man is about to die, his words are also good." This is what it means.

During the time of Emperor Wu, the great general Wei Qingzhe, the brother of Weihou, was granted the title of Marquis of Changping.Joined the army to attack the Xiongnu, returned to Yuwu on the water, beheaded the captives, returned with meritorious service, and awarded a thousand catties of gold.When the general went out of the palace gate, Mr. Dong Guo, a Qi native, waited for the imperial car with an alchemist, and guarded the general's car. , The family is poor. Now the general has a thousand catties of gold, and I sincerely give half of it to the wife of the king. The owner will be happy when he hears about it. This so-called strange strategy is also planned." General Wei thanked him and said: "Mr. I will teach you." So General Wei gave five hundred gold as the birthday of Mrs. Wang.Mrs. Wang heard about Emperor Wu.The emperor said: "The general doesn't know why." Asked about the strategy he had received, he said to him, "Mr. Dong Guo, who accepts the edict." He summoned Mr. Dong Guo and worshiped him as the county captain.Mr. Dong Guo has been waiting for the bus for a long time, poor and hungry, with poor clothes and endless shoes.Walking in the snow, the shoes are up and down, and the feet are on the ground.People in the Tao laughed, and Mr. Dongguo responded, "Who can walk in the snow and make people look at it? The upper part of the shoe is like a human foot?" Go out of the palace gate and thank the master.Therefore, those who are waiting for the edict from the same officials are like the ancestors outside the gate of the capital.The road of prosperity is famous in the world.This is the so-called one who wears brown clothes and is pregnant with treasures.When it is poor, people don't underestimate it; when it is expensive, they strive to attach it.There is a proverb that says: "If a horse is lost, it will be thin, and if a man is lost, it will be poor." What is this called evil?

Mrs. Wang was very ill, and the owner asked him, "Your son should be king, do you want to put him in peace?" He said, "I would like to live in Luoyang." The owner said: "No. Luoyang has an arsenal and a warehouse. As a pass, the throat of the world. Since the first emperor, it has not been said that it is the king of Zhi. However, the Guandong Kingdom is no bigger than Qi, and it can be the king of Qi." Mrs. Wang hit her head with her hand and said "very lucky".When Mrs. Wang died, she was nicknamed "The Queen Mother of Qi died".

In the past, the king of Qi envoy Chunyu Kun to present Hu to Chu.Going out of the gate of the city, the way flew to the swan, only to uncover the empty cage, and made a deceitful speech. He went to the king of Chu and said: "The envoys of the king of Qi came to offer the swan, which is too high for the water. I can't bear the thirst of the swan. Come out and drink it. Go to me. Fly to death. I want to die by stabbing the abdomen and strangling the neck. I am afraid that the king will make the people kill themselves because of the birds and beasts. I want to buy and replace them if I want to buy them. Deceive my king. If you want to go to Tuo country to perish, it hurts my two lords and envoys to be unable to communicate. Therefore, I have obeyed and kowtowed to suffer the king." The king of Chu said: "Good, if the king of Qi has believers like this!" Give it generously, wealth Times are here too.

During the reign of Emperor Wu, the prefect of Zheng Beihai was there.Mr. Wang, who has a literary history, invites himself to join the prefect, "I will benefit the king", and the king promises it.Cao Baiyun: "Mr. Wang is addicted to alcohol. He talks too much and speaks little truth. I'm afraid we can't go with him." The prefect said: "What you want to do, sir, is irreversible."Go to the palace and wait for the imperial gate.Mr. Wang bought wine with money in his hands, and shot and drank with the guards and servants. He was drunk by the sun and ignored the prefect.The prefect knelt down and worshiped.Mr. Wang called Hu Lang and said: "Fortunately, I called my lord to talk to the door." Hu Lang is Hu Taishou.The prefect came and saw Mr. Wang.Mr. Wang said: "The emperor asked the king why he ruled the North Sea so that there would be no thieves. Why did you say that?" "Yes, it's self-praise and self-defeat. It's impossible. May the king speak to you, it's not the power of the minister, and it will be changed by the might of your majesty's gods and spirits." The prefect said: "No." Called in, as for His Highness, there is an edict to ask Said: "How can you rule the North Sea so that the thieves can't afford it?" Kowtowed and said: "It's not the power of the minister, but it can be changed by the might of your majesty's gods." Emperor Wu laughed and said: "Yu Hu! And the words of the elders And call it! What did you accept?" Confrontation: "Shouzhi's literary history." The emperor said: "Where is it today?" Confrontation: "Outside the gate of the palace." There is an edict to call Mr. Wang to be the water balance Cheng, with Beihai Taishou as the captain of Shuiheng.It is said: "Good words can be sold, and respectful behavior can be added to people. Gentlemen give words to each other, and villains give money to each other."

During the time of Wei Wenhou, Ximen Bao was the order of Ye.Leopard went to Ye, met the elders, and asked about the sufferings of the people.The elder said: "It is hard for Hebo to marry a wife, so he is poor." Leopard asked the reason, and said to him: "The three elders of Ye and Tingyu often collect money from the common people. Marry a wife for He Bo, share the rest of the money with Zhu Wu and keep it back. At that time, Wu Xing regarded the daughter of the Xiao family as good, saying that she should be He Bo's wife, and she took it immediately. Washing and washing her is for the governance of Xinzheng Qieyi clothes, living in fasting; to rule the fasting palace on the river, Zhang Ti Jiang curtains, women live in it. For more than ten days with cattle, wine and meals. It is whitewashed, like a married woman's bed mat, let the woman live on it, floating In the middle of the river. It began to float, and it disappeared after traveling for dozens of miles. There were good women in his family, and he was afraid that the big witch would take them for the uncle of the river. Therefore, many women fled far away. Because the old city was empty and poor, and there were no people there. It has been a long time ago. The common saying goes, "If you don't marry a wife for Hebo, the water will float and sink, and drown his people." Ximen Leopard said: "When it comes to marrying a wife for Hebo, I wish the three elders, Wu Zhu, and the elders Sending off the girl on the river, I am fortunate to come to tell you, I will also go to see off the girl." All said: "No."

At that time, Simon Leopard went to the River of Meeting.The three elders, the officials, the rich elders, and the elders in the village all meet. From the perspective of the people, there are three to 2000 people.The witch, an old woman, is seventy years old.From the house of ten disciples and children, all dressed in single clothes, set up the empress of the great witch.Ximen Leopard said: "Uncle Huhe has come, and she is so ugly." The girl is about to come out of the curtain and come forward.Leopard looked at it, and Gu said that the three elders, Wu Zhu, and the elders said: "It's not good to be a woman. Annoying the big witch is to repay Hebo. I have to ask for a better girl and send her to him in the future." in the river.After a while, he said: "How long has it been for the witch? The disciple is interested in it!" Then the disciple threw himself into the river alone.After a while, he said: "How long will the disciple be? Make another person interesting!" Then throw a disciple into the river.Fan voted for three disciples.Ximen Leopard said: "The witch's disciple is a woman, and she can't do things for nothing. If you annoy the three elders, you will be in vain." He threw himself into the river again.Ximen Leopard's hairpin and chime were broken, and he stood facing the river for a long time.The elders, officials and onlookers were all terrified.Ximen Leopard Gu said: "What's the reason if the witch and the three elders don't come to pay back?" He wanted to make Tingyu and the elder Hao enter the fun alone.They all kowtowed, kowtowed and broke their heads, their foreheads were bleeding to the ground, and their color was like ashes.Ximen Leopard said: "Promise, and I will wait for a while." After a while, Leopard said: "The court has risen. If Zhuang Hebo stays with guests for a long time, if you stop and go back." Ye officials and people were terrified. From then on, I dare not say again to marry a wife for He Bo.

Ximen Leopard immediately ordered the people to dig twelve canals, diverting the river water to irrigate the people's fields, and all the fields were irrigated.At that time, the people ruled the canal with less trouble and no desire.Leopard said: "The people can be successful, but don't start with worries. Although the fathers and children are suffering from me today, they will make the fathers and children think of me in the late [-]s." Up to now, they have obtained water conservancy, and the people have been rich enough.The Twelve Canals passed through the Juechi Road and arrived at Han Zhili, but the chief official thought that the Twelve Canal Bridge was relatively close to the Juechi Road, which was impossible.If you want to join the canal water, and go to Chidao to join the three canals as a bridge.The elders of the people of Ye refused to listen to the senior officials, thinking that what Lord Ximen did, the law of a virtuous king could not be changed.The officials finally listened to it.Therefore, Ximen Leopard is the order of Ye, famous all over the world, and Zeliu's descendants will never end. He can hardly be called a virtuous doctor!

It is said: "Zi Chan governs Zheng, and the people cannot be bullied; Zijian governs a single father, and the people cannot bear to be bullied; Ximen Bao governs Ye, and the people dare not bully." Which of the three sons is the most virtuous?Those who treat the disease should be able to distinguish it.

(End of this chapter)