dear archimedes

Chapter 99
His memory was blurred, but he remained firm.

The world lied to him, so he never mentioned that name to anyone around him, but one day, he dragged his suitcase and left without saying goodbye to anyone.

He actually didn't know where to find it, because everything about her had been erased from his life.

There are no clues.

Yan Su stopped occasionally, and would laugh at himself for becoming irrational after having a dream.

But he seems to be following his instincts.

He vaguely remembered who he had promised: If you disappear, I will search the world to find you, even if I wander for a lifetime.

No one will know how difficult every step he takes is.

Remembering that she spoke Chinese, she traveled all over China and looked at the photos of all the people whose names had AI syllables in the population system. Although he still couldn't remember her appearance, he thought that if he saw her, he would know.

There are so many people who have no information, so he trekked across mountains and rivers to find black households, working harder than the household registration police.

Remember she carved French on the wall, go to France...

Of the 70 billion people on earth, he only finds one.

Gradually, two winters have passed since the day Zhen Ai disappeared.

The first night back was almost sleepless.

The next morning, Yan Su was sitting in a wheelchair with his eyes closed, and Eva came.

He vaguely heard her footsteps, but did not open his eyes.

Eva knew full well that he was angry with her.Speaking of it, Eva was also quite shocked,
Even if the whole world says that there is no girl named Ai, even if there is no trace of her left in the whole world, even if Yan Su himself can't remember her appearance, he still guards his heart so firmly and purely That fuzzy girl, no matter what, doesn't give up on her.

So much so, that he thought Eva was lying to him, so he ignored it.

Eva walked up to him and took a look at him. She was already in poor health and was thinner. She had been wandering outside all year round in silence, and only he knew the hardships and sufferings.

But even so, he still looked calm and serene with his eyes closed, and his face was as clear and beautiful as before, without wind and dew, and without being stained with mortal dust.

"SA, you didn't follow the doctor's advice to recuperate after you recovered, and you kept running outside. If you continue like this, your health will fail." Eva persuaded him, feeling a little embarrassed after speaking.

Yan Su was seriously injured and was judged to be in a vegetable state. He lay in bed for several months and his organs and muscles were about to weaken before waking up.

And waking up is the beginning of the nightmare. The injuries all over his body erupted, and he was deeply addicted to drugs. The doctor thought that even if he woke up, he would not be able to hold on and would be crushed.But he actually stood up within three months. Even the doctors were amazed by his endurance and perseverance.

Eva knew that he was determined to find Zhen Ai, that's why he worked so hard.

Yan Su ignored what she said just now, and still closed his eyes.

Knowing that he was stubborn, Eva didn't persuade him any more. She took out the glass tube and test strips from her bag: "Your mother asked me to come here to check whether you have taken drugs recently."

Yan Su opened his eyes, took something out of her hand without saying a word, put the test strip in his mouth, and quickly stuffed it back into the glass tube and returned it to her.

Eva looked at the small transparent glass tube: "Well, no."

She was in a trance again, remembering how miserable it was during his drug rehab period. At that time, he had other diseases on his body. He was simply a horrible disabled person, living in purgatory every day.

At first, considering the severe injuries and severe pain elsewhere on his body, the doctor suggested to use morphine, and then quit the drug after he recovered.

Yan Su refused, and was tied up day and night. Such a tall man curled up into a ball, trembling, vomiting, and even fainted.

Who would have thought that he survived silently and stubbornly.Now, he is living well in front of everyone.

Most addicted people relapse because of lack of willpower.Eva stuffed the glass tube back into her bag and smiled suddenly, she almost forgot that he was Yan Su.

"It's okay, I'll go first." Eva turned and left, and turned back after a few steps, "Where are you going next time? You won't just stay for two or three days before leaving?"

No one responded.

Eva endured it, and quickly returned: "Hey, SAYAN! You..." She saw his right ear, and was taken aback for a moment.

Yan Su opened his eyes, the pupils were still clear and emotionless: "Is there something wrong?"

Eva's anger was extinguished at once, and she asked, "Did you forget to wear your hearing aid again?"

"It's not that I forgot." It's that I didn't wear it on purpose.

"why?"

"There's nothing I want to hear." After resting enough, he got up and went to the bookshelf to read a book.

Eva looked at his back, a little sad: "SA, live your life well, don't go looking for that non-existent person."

"Even if the whole world says there is no such person, I know she exists. I just," he rubbed his forehead, as if tired, showing a little powerlessness, "I just want to know what she looks like."

"What if you can't find it all your life?"

"For the only person I have ever loved in my life, of course I want to give her the highest courtesy a man can give to a woman."

"What courtesy?"

Yan Su didn't look back, and his tone was calm: "She is alive, and I spend my whole life looking for her; when she is dead, I spend my whole life remembering her."

Eva was shocked, her eyes were a little wet, she looked up at the sky, trying to blink away the mist: "Life is so long, you will always meet..."

Yan Su guessed what she was going to say, and interrupted rudely: "My love has nothing to do with time."

"You can even quit poison, alone..."

"My love doesn't come from getting used to it. I can't quit it, and I don't want to quit it. It's not a result of getting used to compromise after a long time." He lowered his eyes and smiled, but there was an unspeakable injury, "I don't remember her, But I remember that I love her very much. It seems that I love her more than I love the whole world."

"I remember that feeling, the feeling of cherishing her, the feeling of heartache for her, and I still remember that I want to give up everything for her." He lightly raised the corners of his lips, but the pain in his heart was piercing, very light Slowly, as if talking about his cherished dreams,
"I don't remember her, but I remember that she is very special and beautiful; I remember that at the beginning, I understood her, and she understood me; I remember that she is the only girl in the world who can make my heart feel bad. If she is so quiet, I will feel bad too. The love of my life has already been met, and I don't want to meet again."

Eva was speechless, she suddenly wanted to know, if Zhen Ai in a certain corner of the world knew a joke she wrote down, making her wandering and searching all her life, let him give her a The highest courtesy a man can give a woman, will she be moved and heartbroken to tears?

Sadly, Zhen Ai will not know.

Yan Su didn't care, he didn't remember Zhen Ai's appearance, not even her name.

Eva suddenly realized that Yan Su was like an old man suffering from Alzheimer's disease, holding tightly his haggard hand to someone who was vague but unwilling to let go, and would not let go until he was dragged into the grave.

Obviously he can't remember everything about Zhen Ai, but stubbornly, purely, stubbornly, proudly, silently, stubbornly sticks to the vague girl and clear love in his heart.

Eva took a deep breath and calmed down: "You look for it slowly, I'll go first."

Yan Su ignored him, and after a few seconds, he looked back at Eva's back, and that image suddenly appeared in his mind.

He had thought about that scene countless times, so he gradually became familiar with it.

It seems to be early spring, and there is a tree-lined street where the trees are sprouting new buds. A girl named Ai walks in front in small boots, with thin legs and small hands behind her white coat.She shook her head lightly, her voice was leisurely and happy like a bell in the wind: "La la la, I didn't hear; la la la, I didn't hear."

At that time, the sky was very high and blue, and she was very stretched and in a good mood, but she didn't look back.

In the same scene, there was a more lush tree-lined road, she looked sideways at the flowers on the side of the road, and asked in a low voice embarrassedly: "Then do you understand me?"

"I don't understand...but I want to understand." He looked down at her, as if he was about to see it, but he only caught a glimpse of her blushing side face.The wind blew her long hair, and she trotted happily to the front.

Still walking with hands behind their backs, proud and confident.

Yan Su thought about it many times, but she never looked back.

And he couldn't remember what she looked like.

He suddenly panicked and impatient, as if his precious memory box was stolen by someone, but he couldn't get it back.

It seemed that there were countless beautiful photos in his box, but when the tornado hit, his memories flew all over the sky, and he grabbed them panicked and eagerly, sweating all over, terrified in his heart, but he couldn't restore the ending of the photos being blown away by the wind .

They were all blown away by the wind, and the few remaining photos were wet by the rain, blurring the images.

But even the remaining memory "photographs", he carefully put them into "Ai"'s box and cherished them in his arms.

Yan Su stood in front of the bookshelf, closed his eyes, gradually calmed down, turned around and went to the kitchen to get water.

Holding the glass of water and looking back, his eyes unintentionally passed over his empty shoulders, his thoughts flickered for a while, and he suddenly remembered whether it was a summer night?He carried a drunk girl?

That day, the road was ambiguous, and the night breeze was intoxicated. He saw the deep scars on her wrists.

Yan Su held the water glass and frowned slightly, how could she be injured so badly?
She leaned on his shoulder, tilted her head and muttered to herself, her breath was hot and itchy.

He looked back carefully, and for the first time in two years, her face became so close in memory.His heart was beating like a drum, and he saw that the skin on her forehead was very white, exuding a jade-like luster, with a drunken blush.

I want to go down further, but the angle is blocked, and I still can't see clearly.

His heart was beating uncontrollably, and he turned his head anxiously to see clearly, but he was holding the empty cup and circling in circles, but there was nothing behind him.

Yan Su's face gradually calmed down, and his heart seemed to fall from a high altitude.

He remembered going out from the castle, she walked in front of him with her hands behind her back, but she didn't turn around, her back was very blurred;

He remembered that she was wearing snow boots to accompany him for a walk, but the snow was so white that it was blinding, and her fair face was melted into the changing light, making it impossible to see clearly;

He remembered carrying her drunk, in his memory he saw her hand, turned his head to see her tilting her head on his shoulder, but still didn't see her face;
He still remembered that in the bathtub somewhere, she was cold and stiff in his arms, and he hugged her tightly and soaked in the hot water.She woke up, and he pressed her cold cheek hard, but still didn't see her...

Yan Su frowned deeply and tried his best to think, but all the pictures collided and shattered.

Holding an empty glass, he stood silently beside the marble table, silent and quiet.

After a while, I put down my cup and left.

The night before departure, Yan Su suffered from habitual insomnia. He walked to the library alone and sat in a wheelchair next to the piano. For some reason, he suddenly wanted to play a piece of music.

He didn't remember where the tune came from, but as he played it, he vaguely remembered that this tune was called To... To what?
Yan Su pressed the black and white keys with his fingers, and sat under the painted moonlight, his clear and quiet face suddenly felt extremely painful.

It seems that there is a piano piece written for her, which is the love of his life.

But who is she and where is she?Why still can't remember.

Gradually, his fingers trembled, but the tune was still floating melodiously.In the music, he remembered.It seemed that in the underground cave, he hugged the girl in the firelight and fell to the ground. At that time, there was only one belief in his heart:
"Ai, live on. Must, live on!"

He held her head in his arms, and the touch of embracing her was still so clear, but when she raised her head, his pupils and consciousness were loose.His world went dark, and he still didn't see her.

The piano piece came to an abrupt end.

Yan Su's hands trembled violently. After two years of aimless searching and persistence, he was so close but still had no results.

In his heart, there was a barrenness, like a field covered with weeds in autumn, filled with endless sorrow and desolation like bone erosion.Heartache riddled with holes, in missing.

But he didn't even know who he was missing.

As if he had nowhere to cling to, he grabbed the music score on the piano suddenly, and the paper was flying, and suddenly a piece of white paper floated out and landed on the white piano.

When I picked it up, it was the texture of printed paper, and a few lines were written on the smooth paper:

"Ai, I like your efforts to pursue the warmth of the sun; I like your longing for the light; I like your attitude of living hard.

I love your whole being, your whole heart. "

He slowly turned the developing paper over.

The bright moonlight is covered with painted veils, gently falling on that photo——

(End of this chapter)