obsessed with love

Chapter 191 Explanation, is it useful?

Qiao Anming still held Du Ruo's shoulder, and asked coldly: "Wait, what are you talking about about the child? It means that Gu Lan deliberately asked someone to beat you, just to let the child die!"

"Yes!"

"Do you have evidence? How do you know it was sent by Gu Lan?"

"Evidence? There are no cameras in the alley, and everyone has run away. Where do I go to find evidence, but who else is there besides her? The two men who beat me said it was because the child's father didn't want to keep this bastard..." The following words Du Ruo almost didn't want to talk about it anymore, the bloody memories, the pain of scratching the bone, made him despair once he thought about it.

But her words became more and more chaotic. Qiao Anming put one arm around Du Ruo's body to prevent her from slipping down because of her emotional breakdown, but her eyes were still cold, and she asked full of doubts: "The two men Really? But I just found out that you were pregnant, how did Gu Lan know?"

"She knew it a long time ago. She saw my test report at Tongcheng Hospital that day... So she was planning to find someone to get rid of this child! Why, the child is innocent, how could she do it..." Du Ruo began to cry again as she spoke, her body weakened little by little, and her emotions were close to collapse. Qiao Anming could only stop her downward trend by wrapping her arms around her back.

But after she talked so much, he only listened to one piece of information, took a deep breath, and his voice trembled visibly: "Du Ruo, what you said just now means that you were before Gu Lan fell ill. You're already pregnant, aren't you?"

With a momentary panic in his eyes, Du Ruo simply lowered his head and did not answer.

However, Qiao Anming moved the hands supporting her back to her shoulders, forcing her to look up: "Look at me, you are already pregnant, aren't you?"

Du Ruo kept his head down all the time, tears kept streaming down his face, but he didn't dare to say another word.

Qiao Anming's sanity had clearly collapsed, so he could only pinch Du Ruo's shoulders and repeat the sentence: "Look at me, does the child belong to me? Is it... Du Ruo... isn't it?"

"No, I said it wasn't yours! No!" She gritted her teeth and roared, tears shining on her face under the light, but Qiao Anming still didn't give up, and analyzed bit by bit: "According to the calculation of time, if it wasn't mine, it would be Whose? You were with me during that time, don't tell me you have other people outside!"

"This counts as your trust in me?" Du Ruo seemed to put away all the broken emotions suddenly, stood upright, and looked at the man in front of him coldly: "Qiao Anming, do you still remember when I stood in the corridor of the hospital talking to you?" You said, I found out that I was pregnant, how did you answer me at that time? You said that you would not have a child, even if I gave birth, you would not want to... So from that day on, I said to myself in my heart, This child has nothing to do with you, Qiao Anming, from now on..."

She almost uttered the last sentence by biting her lips and teeth, but Qiao Anming stood there blankly, looking at the woman in front of her, feeling distressed and chilled a little bit, and finally lowered her head, almost close to her eyes, flowering It took a lot of effort to piece together a sentence: "You mean to admit that this child is mine?"

"No, when you think I'm acting, when you think I'm trying to get your money, when you think I'm the one who caused Gu Lan to get sick... when you put all these trumped-up charges on me at once, it hurts so much. I can't breathe, I feel like the whole sky is falling...what right do you have to ask me about my child?" Her words were vague, but the meaning was obvious.

Qiao Anming's fingers wrapped around Du Ruo's shoulders became tighter and tighter, and the strings in his heart seemed to be completely tightened. The roots of his teeth were rubbed against each other, but he could only close his eyes, tilt his head slightly, and dared not say a word.

With his 45 years of experience, he has experienced too much wind and rain, and he feels that it is impossible to encounter something that he can't bear in the years to come, but now the answer is far beyond his imagination, like a huge rock, "Boom— " covered it with a sound, and it was so heavy that he couldn't breathe normally.

All kinds of emotions constantly churning in my heart, guilt, self-blame, anger...but most of them are distressed.

Du Ruo's tears were about to run out, and his whole body was pinched in his hands. He thought that this secret would rot in his stomach, but he still couldn't hold back from telling it.

That's it, anyway, the child is in her stomach, what can he do to her!

"Qiao Anming, the child is already two months old, and it will take shape in another month. No matter how much you don't want this child, I will not give up... Too many things have happened in the past two months, my brother rejected him, and the medical bills ran out. My mother went to Jiang Hao to ask for money, and she suffered a stroke and was admitted to the hospital. I had nowhere to go, so I went to Pan Wei impulsively. He promised me to accompany him for a month and give me 20 yuan. At that time, the child was less than a month old. I took it alone at night. Watching the taboos of mobile phone Baidu for the first three months, researching how to pose without hurting children... But they are too naive, they are not human at all, if Mo Youting didn't rush over in time, I think I might die in that room... "

Du Ruo's tone was very calm when he said these things at the time, and some hurt to a certain extent, and should be able to become numb.

But Qiao Anming's breathing became tighter and tighter. For the first time, he felt that the woman in front of him was so cruel, telling the cruelest past in the quietest voice, a little bit, Ling Chi.

He straightened his voice, pinched Du Ruo's shoulder, and said in an almost begging voice: "Du Ruo, stop talking..."

"No, let me finish. I've been thinking for a while that if I had the chance to tell you these things, I would cry hysterically, but I didn't expect to be so calm!"

Du Ruo paused, took a breath, wiped the remaining tears from the corners of his eyes with his fingers and continued: "...I hated you before, when I was pressed down by Pan Wei, even though I knew that that kind of hatred had nothing to do with it. Reasonable, but my only reaction at the time was not to struggle, not to escape, but that kind of bone-scratching hatred... Later, I was blocked in an alley and fell to the ground. The pain in my lower abdomen felt like a knife stab. , I feel that I have only been with you for two months, why do I have to suffer so much in the end, but recently I have gradually begun to understand that during the two months between us, what you have for me is only passion, not feelings, feelings The foundation is trust, and you don't have any trust in me... Do you still remember that when Gu Lan got sick, you said a word to me in the hospital, you said Du Ruo, a good scene, but you acted well It's full of loopholes..."

She paused again, but a cold smile suddenly appeared on the corner of her mouth: "Yes, Qiao Anming, there are many loopholes, she met a thief at the door where I lived, and then stopped taking medicine for two days to deliberately get sick in front of me, you I just thought it was me acting, why never thought it was her acting? I don’t even know what she looks like, but why did she suddenly appear in the alley where I live when she came to Tongcheng? With so many loopholes, with your IQ of Qiao Anming , you will find a flaw if you think about it a little bit, but you directly put the blame on me, is it because you don't want to believe that Gu Lan is such a scheming person, or is it because I am in your heart that I am not trustworthy at all?"

The grievances, grievances, and pains of so many days should have been shouted out in the most mournful tone, but she said them word by word, like flowing water, and like a statement.

But did she speak in such a tone on purpose?There was so much hate and pain, but she stood in her arms, smiling relieved, leaving no room for him to explain and apologize.

Qiao Anming lowered one of her hands wrapped around her shoulders, feeling lonely all over her body.

"Does it mean that you won't forgive me for anything I say now?"

Du Ruo nodded, but quickly shook his head: "You don't need to say anything, and I don't need your apology. In fact, you did nothing wrong. She has lived with you for 20 years and is your closest lover. You There are 1 reasons to choose to believe her and misunderstand me. Besides, so what if you know the truth? What else can you blame her for at most? Besides, she seems to have nothing wrong. I insisted on intervening in your marriage in an attempt to share with her A you, she's just hurting out of self-defense..."

She felt that she was talking more and more: "In fact, in the final analysis, I will give birth to this child, but you don't need to feel indebted to me. It was a mistake for us to be together at the beginning, so we can't continue to make mistakes."

When Du Ruo said this, he suddenly smiled, not a wry smile, but a relaxed smile, so he stood on tiptoe, wrapped his arms around his neck, and leaned his whole body on his shoulder...

Her unrivaled hero came on the colorful clouds, although he did not take her away in the end, but the memories can be very tender.

"...I have been divorced and been your lover, and now I am covered in scars, and the pain is so painful that I don't want to hurt anymore...so please let me be alone...

Two months is not long, nor is it short, it should be the best moment between us, if we continue to entangle, Gu Lan gets hurt, you will be embarrassed, and the last thing I want to see is you embarrassing me for me ..."

Her voice was soft and subtle, and she clasped her hands tightly, saying goodbye to him word by word.

Qiao Anming buried her entire face in her hair, took a deep breath, and vowed to remember this last breath... But in the end, she still fell into the hands of this girl. At the age of 45, she had experienced countless storms, but in the end she hugged her like this , crying until completely hopeless...

Du Ruo laughed, smiling from the bottom of her heart, finally the pain was not in vain. For two months, her unrivaled hero, a man who was as tough as a god in the eyes of outsiders, was willing to hug her and cry at the last moment.

It's just a flower thing, the world of mortals is in trouble, the sun is long, I have nothing to do with you, I wish you well...

Qiao Anming hugged Du Ruo like that for a long time, during which time her cell phone rang several times, and she wanted to get out of his arms, but he quickly pressed her back to her chest forcefully.

"Give me one more minute, just one more minute..."

He never raised his head, his nose was filled with the smell of her body, just after taking a shower, with the fragrance of shower gel.

In the short two months, he had been hugged like this too many times, and every time he was full of palpitations, but this time, he was so desperate that he didn't know how to continue his life.

He remembered their initial embrace like this. In the Shangri-La guest room, he raised his head first, hugged her on his knees, and told her: "Don't move, just a minute..."

Afterwards, Gu Lan and Ren Peiyin forced him to give birth to a child. He came out of the house and took Du Ruo to the suburb where the demolition took place. She was generous and offered to give him another minute...

A lot of deep feelings in life are accumulated minute by minute like this, and many misses are also piled up into a sea minute by minute.

It's just that at this moment he became too greedy, hoping that time would stop, and that the sky would not even light up.

"Du Ruo, being a single mother is not that easy. Have you really thought about keeping this child?"

"No need to think about it, I am his mother, and my responsibility is to bring him into this world... So don't persuade me to give up, and you have no right to persuade me to give up!" Du Ruo lay on his shoulders, her voice Started shaking a little bit.

Qiao Anming closed his eyes again, and said weakly: "I am so vicious in your heart that I can kill my own flesh and blood? I didn't want you to get pregnant before, because I didn't want to drag you down, because I couldn't give you any promises and future, but you Do you know, just now I heard that you were willing to admit that the child is mine, and I couldn’t believe it, how could it be possible, how could it be possible to have a child suddenly... and the mother of the child is still you!"

Qiao Anming let go of Du Ruo's arms, slowly pushed the person on his shoulders in front of him, and held her face with both hands. Those eyes, bloodshot from crying, pierced into Du Ruo like a sharp sword. heart.

"What do you mean?" Du Ruo stood up straight and continued, "Don't worry, I never thought of asking you to be responsible for me, because I know there is no possibility between us, the child is only my business, I will give birth to him and bring him up slowly, you don't need to feel indebted to me, and you don't need to embarrass yourself..."

Even at this level, she still thinks from his point of view. Qiao Anming feels distressed and hateful for such a tough woman who is almost cruel.

"Fool... Do you really think I don't like children? That's a deceitful cover... Gu Lan has always been infertile, and I can't accept having a baby in the outside world. What's more, I never thought that I would live to this age. Will meet you!"

His meaning was obscure and difficult to understand, but Du Ruo could hear it clearly.

Turning his face to the side, he pressed his palm tightly, and the tears that had just dried up began to flow out again!

Her nirvana is that once she cries, Qiao Anming can do nothing. She thinks it's wrong to coax her, and it's wrong not to coax her, so she just wipes her tears.

"Why are you crying again? It's not that I don't want a child, I just don't dare to. Now that you are pregnant, I think I must have done a lot of good things in my previous life. At this age, the person I love the most can still Leave me an heir..."

At this point, the meaning is very clear, he is actually coaxing gently, but Du Ruo cries more and more.

"I always thought you didn't want me to get pregnant, because you took measures every time and kept reminding me to take medicine..." Her words were broken, and she quickly threw herself into Qiao Anming's arms, tears and snot all rubbing against him chest.

Qiao Anming patted Du Ruo's back distressedly, and slowly coaxed: "Okay, it's my fault, I should explain it to you..."

"What do you explain clearly? How can we explain clearly between us? What about Gu Lan? What about morality and public opinion?" She quickly raised her head and wiped her tears with the back of her hand: "So I have thought clearly, Between us, it’s easy to get together and separate, I will give birth to a child by myself, but don’t get involved with each other, it’s good for you, good for Gu Lan, good for all of us..."

She finished speaking in one breath as if taking an oath, but Qiao Anming was a little unwilling: "It's my flesh and blood, why do you want to separate yourself from me?"

"What else?" Du Ruo's voice suddenly became louder: "Qiao Anming... even if you want to be responsible for the child, what can you do for me? Can you divorce Gu Lan and marry me? Or are you going to give me a large sum of money? , and then I will obediently be your shady lover? It doesn’t matter before, because I love you, so I am willing to bear those gossips for you, but not now, we have a child, I don’t want outsiders to be around after the child is born It's too ugly to accuse him of being an illegitimate child, and it's not fair to him!"

Du Ruo stepped back a few steps, keeping a distance from the man in front of him, his expression of sadness just now became indifferent and cold all of a sudden.

Qiao Anming wanted to go over and grab her hand, but she quickly turned her back to him, took a deep breath, and said, "Don't come here, let me just stand here and say what's left in my heart...Thank you very much You can tell me that you don't actually hate children. Really, I am very grateful. I didn't hate her, because it was my fault first, she was just defending her marriage, although the method was a bit cruel, but luckily the child is fine, so don't blame her..."

"Du Ruo..." Qiao Anming took a few steps closer, trying to stop her next words, but she took a few steps forward vigilantly, still turning her back to him: "Let me make it clear once, I'm afraid there will be no chance in the future... "

After a pause, he took another breath: "Although you are the father of the child, if I beg you, you have never had this child. It is for my own good and the child's good. In this way, my future life will be Being more stable is also good for Gu Lan's body, I think no matter what, you don't want her to have physical problems because of our affairs, do you?"

At this point, Du Ruo suddenly turned around and looked at Qiao Anming expectantly!
He always thought she was a muscle, but she was so smart at the critical moment, she could see through the pain in his heart at a glance, and when the needle was poked, he only hurt, but he had no power to fight back.

Yes, so what if she is pregnant with her own child?Did he really go back and divorce Gu Lan?Reason does not allow it, morality and responsibility do not allow it. Besides, Gu Lan's physical condition, it is estimated that the marriage has not yet been divorced. She is already lying dying in the hospital, and what is the meaning of happiness at the cost of life?
Know what that feels like?I just want to hold a handful of sand in my hand and watch her pass through my fingers bit by bit. I can't hold it, I can't grasp it tightly, and only an empty palm is left in the end...

Qiao Anming actually had so many emotions in his heart that he wanted to express, he wanted to stay, he wanted to cherish, he wanted to apologize, but in the end he just stood there for a long time and said in a very low voice: "I will do whatever you want. , just let me apply the ointment for you one last time, two days ago in the restroom of the hotel restaurant, you threw up on the pool table, and I saw a lot of blood shadows on your back that were scratched by your fingers..."

Du Ruo moved her body without looking back, and obediently walked towards the living room, finally untied the belt of her pajamas, and obediently lay on the back of the sofa.

Qiao Anming slowly took off the pajamas from behind her until it reached her waist, revealing her entire white back...

The finger was stained with ointment and applied along the scratched marks little by little, carefully applying it, not letting go of every tiny red rash, the fingertips were as dry as before, and the rough threads wiped her skin texture...

Du Ruo lay prone on the soft sofa, not daring to move, folded one arm under his chin, biting the flesh on the back of his hand with his teeth.

If the touch and temperature can be preserved, Du Ruo would like to engrave all the feelings at that time into her memory. This was the last intimacy before the separation, and she remembered that very hypocritical literary movie.

“How do you say good bye to someone you can't imagine living without”

"Should you say goodbye to someone you don't want to leave?"

In the wandering or stability of love, she finally compromised with the secular world, and after dawn, everything returned to the original point.

Qiao Anming's movements were extremely gentle, the room was so quiet that the sound of the waves outside the window could be heard, she painted it little by little, and then slowly covered her bathrobe on her shoulders.

"... Try to eat less seafood in the future, apply this medicine once a day, after taking a bath, and try not to touch the scratched place with water..."

She gave a "hmm" and nodded, still lying there.

Qiao Anming covered the lid of the ointment and put it on the sofa next to her.

"If you still don't feel well tomorrow, don't go out, just rest in the room, I will tell Xu Dong, and besides..." He paused, thinking that he should say something to say goodbye, but in the end he didn't say anything , just nagging: "Han from the bottom, remember not to go barefoot... You should rest early, I'm leaving..."

After that, there was the sound of rubbing and rustling of the clothes, and soon there was the sound of closing the door, and the whole room became quiet again, as if the sea not far away was no longer roaring.

Du Ruo never got up, but slowly his shoulders began to tremble, and the mouth that had been biting the back of his hand let go, and the crying that was pressed against his throat gradually became louder...

How do you say good bye to someone you can't imagine living without
In fact, there is no need to say goodbye to many differences. The simplest few words of greeting are more palpitating than the word "goodbye".

Du Ruo cried to the point of emotion, and the phone rang again. She really didn't want to answer it, but the rings kept ringing one after another, so she could only stand up and search for the phone all over the room while sobbing, and finally found it on the wastebasket next to the toilet.

Glancing at the screen, he pressed the answer button.

Over there shouted: "Hey, Du Ruo, you finally answered my call. I have arrived in Tongcheng, and I will report to you that you are safe..."

But Du Ruo didn't speak, and sat on the toilet cover with his mobile phone on his buttocks, crying, crying hysterically, swallowing mountains and rivers, so frightened that Mo Youting didn't dare to say a word on the other side, he could only hold his breath, wishing to let her cry Tears and grief all fell into his arms.

She cried like that for about 10 minutes, crying, and the phone beeped to remind her that the battery was about to run out, so she was willing to lift her butt off the toilet seat, and took the roll paper next to her and wiped it hard. Take the snot.

"Mo Youting, I told him about the child..."

……

(End of this chapter)