box of hearts

Chapter 258 Looking at My Hometown (2)
Qingtian first gathered his long hair together, with a lot of thoughts and every detail, "It is Rongbao's imperial doctor who came today, and the medicine waiter with him is surnamed Wei, and his name is Weiwei. I have already told them that I will The matter of pregnancy is not allowed to be leaked. I have also ordered Yingzhi and the other four, so including you and me, there are only eight people who know about it. I will be taken care of by Imperial Doctor Rong alone in the future. When the child is born, you take him away and give it to the concubine in the palace. Madam Zhan is well-educated, virtuous and generous, and she will take good care of the child."

As soon as the words fell, the happy expression on Qi She's face turned into a hollow hard shell, which would dry and peel off at any time, "You, why are you doing this?"

Qingtian smiled, as if he had taken away the other party's joy, his smile was full of apology, "Man, everything can be changed, the only thing that can't be changed is who crawled out of someone's stomach. I know you never You will not despise my disgraceful past, nor will you despise my child, you will love him well, you will give this child the finest food, the most expensive toys, the most knowledgeable teacher...you will give him Everything. But what can I give him? The only thing I can give him is for those noble playmates to point his nose and laugh and say he's just a bitch."

"Hey!" Qi She shouted at her, with veins rolling on her neck.

Seeing that he was in a hurry, Qingtian smiled gently, and stretched out his hands to smooth his knife-cut temples, "Third brother, you are a prince, even if you have no clothes to cover your body, no food to eat, even if you sleep in a stable on the grassland, you are the same." He is a prince, and his waist can be straight. What about me? I have known since I was a child that no matter how luxuriously and decently dressed you are, with gold, jade, pearls and emeralds all over your body, as soon as you turn around, those people who greet you with smiles will be happy. Will speak ill at each other, and point and poke at my back. I have already removed my low status, but it doesn't work. In the eyes of others, I have been just a low-level low-class all my life, even if I have stood in a noble place like you Beside someone—especially when I stand beside you, your nobility will only make me appear more humble. In the past few years, you have always taken me to Jingjizhuang to escape the summer in order to have me by your side on your birthday, but During the play, all the princes and nobles sat in front of the stage with you openly, but I could only hide in a small building far away by myself, and I didn’t even dare to poke my body out. People congratulate me and say that their grace is great. Every year when I celebrate my birthday, I sit alone in the extremely lively crowd, listening to the insincere blessings of those princes and edicts. In front of everyone, I said "every year today, every year today", just one sentence, but the eyeballs of everyone below are red. I fell out of favor in the previous period, and I don't need to say more about the cold reception I received. Empress Dowager, more than one person "asked" me face-to-face, what kind of house curtain secret technique can tie a man's heart? They took this as flattery to me. It is more sad than being a pariah, but being a nobleman The untouchables, who endured extraordinary love and pets, also endured extraordinary slander and humiliation. I was used to this when I was still in Huaihua Hutong, and it didn't do anything to me. But a child, born in Wang Ting is expensive, spoiled and spoiled, how do you face these things?"

Her gentle palms slid across his neck, shoulders, and arms, resting on the back of his hands and rubbing them, "Speaking of which, King Kang and the others also took in a concubine outside, and gave birth to several children, but there is a difference of one." Names and titles cannot be taken back to the mansion. Although these descendants of the clan who are wandering outside are all blood, they cannot be surnamed Qi in an upright manner. When they meet brothers and sisters who were born in the mansion of the prince, they have to detour Let's go. But their biological mothers just can't get on the stage anymore, they are just low-class girls, daughters-in-law or daughters of poor families... If this is the case, it makes people laugh out loud. One day, our children will cry Then I ran back and asked me: "Mother, everyone says you are a prostitute, and I am a bastard whose father is outside." How should I explain it to my child? I am in a world that does not belong to me, and I am always superior to you. You have to stand taller than everyone else, and be on guard all the time. You can’t fall, and it’s all over in one fell swoop. And even if you climb to the highest place, everyone dare not kneel down on you At your feet, you and they both know that no one respects you from the bottom of their hearts. Just a trivial look is enough to turn your life like heaven into hell. I know the feeling too well. An ignorant Innocent children don't deserve to go through this, especially as it's my fault as a mother to shame him. I don't want to do this to my child, I can't do this to him."

At this time, Qi She's expression was not as good as before, and there was a vast space, "There is always a way."

"What can I do? Carry my citizenship? Back then, Concubine Concubine Concubine Concubine Concubine Concubine raised her nationality to the Wang family and remarried into your mansion with the gift of a boudoir. Didn't everyone still call her 'Princess Slender Horse'? You can carry me into Feng's and Dai's as much as you want." , Zhan's family... any of the high-ranking Chinese, but you and I both know that this is nothing more than self-deception. No matter how partial you are, try to get our child registered as a naturalized child and let him be a son of a dragon, is it a big guy? Have you forgotten the blood of the other half of the untouchables in him? If he was a boy, he would have the strength to pull mountains and seas, the literary talent to carve dragons and embroider phoenixes, and make great achievements, and his achievements will go down in history, but as long as people tell him "He was born by a kiln sister", and I still can't hold my head up all my life. If it's a girl, I can't do anything. Lifelong happiness only depends on the husband's family. In today's world, it is the daughter of a famous family. As long as it is a concubine, There are many people who are unwilling to hire her as the main wife, let alone an illegitimate daughter whose biological mother is notorious? Yes, with you, you protect the child, he will not suffer much, but you can protect the child for a lifetime? In this world Human feelings are like paper, and the situation is like chess. Even if you are a golden body with a canopy, you will have to suffer so many disasters and eight disasters in vain. What's more, you will have such a big scar when you land. Is it possible to find a good way out in the scorching world? I don’t know how much merit this child has cultivated in his previous life to get such a good father like you, and since he has such a father, he shouldn’t be dragged down by a mother like me, he should have another mother.”

"How does this work? This doesn't work."

"It works. I asked Dr. Rong, and he said that I have a slender waist. I just need to wrap my abdomen with raw silk and cover it with loose clothes. My figure will never be exposed. I chose a place two months before giving birth. She lives in seclusion and avoids people's eyes and ears. The lady Zhan in the mansion needs to take menopause medicine to make Geng believe that she can't believe it. Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, Double Ninth Festival, Winter Solstice... You have celebrated all these important festivals in the palace, and you will also go back to the mansion to visit the concubine on the first and fifteenth day of each month, saying that there was a room curtain It is not unbelievable. And everyone knows that as long as the small class waiters are broken, they will take the medicine of yin and cold sterilization for many years. No one will suspect that I can secretly conceive a baby. This is a trick Feng has no flaws, as long as the concubine is willing—she will, she has always regarded you as heaven, and she will do whatever you say. This child will be a legitimate son after birth. His grandfather is the emperor and his grandmother is the queen. , His father is a direct prince, and his mother is a daughter of a family. He is a man of gold and jade, a noble man, and has nothing to do with a dusty and humble outer room. He can live with his back straight, and will never do it for his blood, for this The only thing in the world that cannot be changed and regretted for life.”

A golden beast and eight treasures stove beside the couch was filled with smoke. I don't know what kind of fragrance it was, and it made people's eyes astringent.Qi Shemu stared at Qingtian staringly, "You—how can you be willing?"

Qingtian flicked the loose hair on his cheeks behind his ears, and on his bright and clean face, there was a smile on his face, "When I was sold into Huaihua Alley, I often hated my mother. Silly, I always think that when I have a child, even if I am so poor that I carry him from house to house to beg for food, I will never be willing to abandon him. But I really can’t believe that God has treated me so favorably and given me A child, a child of yours. Today, when Doctor Rong said that I had Xixin’er, I couldn’t help crying. Of course, I cried with joy, and I knew at that moment that I must abandon this child. Third brother, To tell you the truth from the bottom of my heart, I would rather not be so cold at the heights now. I wish you were just an ordinary man, and I could grow old with you peacefully, raise the children together, thank the prosperity, enjoy the indifference, and live a long life. How can the world be as you wish? If I hadn’t been pregnant, I would never have talked to you about this in my life. You must know that I have no intention of being dissatisfied. You have given me too much. You gave me everything you could and couldn’t give, but what stands between you and me is a moat that cannot be done by man, even if you are a person who is almost omnipotent. Still the same sentence, The only thing that can’t be changed in a person is who crawls out of it. It doesn’t matter whether our children recognize me, or whether they can call me mother, anyway, nothing can change that I am his mother.”

Almost inconceivably, Qi She looked at the Bodhisattva statue in the shrine in front of him with the mighty power of a god, smiling lightly all the time.She even pulled his face with both hands, pulling and lifting his stiff cheeks, "What are you doing hanging your face? Smile, just like you did just now. This is my aunt Happiest day of my life!"

(End of this chapter)