Abandoned woman's glory

Chapter 227 I Can't Let You Go Wrong Again
This time, I didn't avoid it, I raised my head and looked into his eyes: "Nangong, do you still remember what you said to me at Dadukou back then?"

The mention of Dadukou was a heartbreak between me and him, and Nangong's eyes immediately darkened.

"What did I say?"

"Tell me that all the palaces and palaces are filled with dirt. The general trend of the world cannot be restored by one person." My voice was a little hoarse, but I said with incomparable firmness: "It is the same now. Even if you stop him today, If you take away Yuxi, nothing will change, as long as you don't kill me, even without Yuxi, I will still be called emperor."

After hearing my words, he was not surprised. After a long silence, he suddenly said: "Which emperor can have no heirs?"

"what?"

"Even if you become emperor, you must have an heir to inherit. Now, your child has disappeared and may no longer be in this world. What do you want to do? Have another child with him?"

There was an indescribable feeling in my heart.

It's not that I haven't thought about this matter, but I've been avoiding it all the time. I can't imagine what kind of man I can accept, but——the man who has been silently waiting by my side, can I still accept him?

Forgetting the past is one thing, but the fear brought about by the tyranny of that night is like a demon buried deep in my heart, which cannot be driven away no matter what, and has always entangled me.

I forced myself to stop thinking: "This has nothing to do with you."

"It's about me."

Unexpectedly, Nangong said such a strong word, which made me stunned. He looked into my eyes and said word by word: "I can't let you continue to make mistakes."

Can't let me go wrong again?
What do you mean?
I looked at him in a daze, but at this moment his eyes showed a complicated expression, which seemed to be heavy and painful. A bluffing method overwhelmed the inexplicable panic in my heart: "I don't know what you're talking about."

He looked at me silently, and said slowly: "Apart from him, can you accept other men?"

There was a buzz in my head, this sentence pierced into my heart like a knife, and I scolded sharply: "Nangong Yazhen, you bastard!"

As soon as the words fell, I had already slapped him hard on the face.

He didn't dodge, he slapped him firmly, red marks immediately appeared on his cheeks, his face turned to one side, and he slowly turned his head to look at me after a while, I was so angry that my eyes turned white, The throbbing pain in my heart seemed to swallow me whole.

How could he, how could he!

Along the way, I put all my heart and soul into it. If others don’t know, he knows too well. Even if the man and I are scarred, we still can’t have a heart. This kind of pain can’t be expressed, it’s already arrived. At this point, I was covered in love and filth, and he actually asked me if I could accept other men!
After the slap in the face, I had difficulty breathing. I held my chest and retreated step by step, turned around sharply and ran down the mountain.

"Xingsi!"

Nangong immediately took a step forward and grabbed me, and I immediately struggled desperately: "Let me go! Let me go!"

When we were fighting and entangled, I accidentally tore open his skirt with one hand, and saw something fall out of it, and fell to the ground with a "click".

Take a closer look, it is a small picture scroll, which is slowly unfolding under our feet.

I, who was struggling desperately, froze for a moment, staring at the scroll, Nangong Mizhen's face suddenly turned pale.

Both of them froze. I don't know how long it took. I slowly squatted down and picked up the painting with trembling fingertips. I looked at the person in the painting in disbelief.

"why?"

"..."

Nangong lowered his eyelids, did not speak, and seemed calm, but the hand he was holding on to me was trembling, which also betrayed his ups and downs at the moment.

This painting is very simple, just a graceful beauty, but the lines are clear, soft and delicate, even the folds of the beauty's clothes and the feeling of fluttering ribbons are so realistic. It can also be vaguely seen the painter's superb skills and the intentions he put into the painting.

But such a simple painting, like a thunderbolt, made my mind go blank.

"why?"

"..."

"Why, do you have a portrait of my mother?"

The woman in the painting is my mother. Although she is so young in this painting, perhaps only twenty-eight years old, with no wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, and no cold defense in her eyes, I still recognized her at first sight. This is My mother, the queen of Xuanyuan Kingdom!

Why does Nangong have a portrait of her, and it is a portrait of her when she was young? !
Nangong stood there blankly, as if all the strength in his body had been sucked out. After an unknown amount of time, he said shyly, "Xingsi..."

"Xingsi...?"

Hearing him call my name, my gaze fell to the bottom of the scroll, where a few characters were written in small seal script——

Teach me how to think and sit, my skin is like peeling.

I am no stranger to this handwriting. I have seen such handwriting on the memorial of the Imperial Study Room more than once. Every time this person’s handwriting gives me and Shaoyu a headache, we try our best to contact the person behind the memorial. The confrontation, the confrontation between me and him, seems to be doomed from the first meeting, regardless of life or death, but only one of the two survives.

But I can't figure out why there is his inscription under the portrait of my mother, and what is written is such an affectionate poem-teaching me to think and think, my skin is like peeling.

What's going on, what's going on?

What truth am I missing, or are they hiding something from me?
Thinking of this, I grabbed Nangong's arm, and my trembling fingertips almost penetrated into his flesh, staring into his eyes: "Tell me, what's going on? You, you, What is the relationship with my mother? Why did she give you the jade seal? Why do you have her portrait? Why is Nangong Yu's writing on this painting? Tell me!"

He stood there numbly, and after an unknown amount of time, he slowly said, "I didn't want you to know...but maybe, this is God's will."

"What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind, and then looked into my eyes: "Xingsi, this painting was found in our Nangong family's old house."

"Xunyou is pregnant with my flesh and blood. Although the Nangong family has been almost destroyed by you, this child should still recognize her ancestors, so after saving her, I went back to Jiangnan and went to Huancui Villa to find our family. Family tree, but did not find it, only accidentally saw this painting in my uncle's collection."

I felt as if I had been hit hard by a heavy hammer, and I lost all consciousness for a while.

Nangong Yu, and my mother...

I stood there blankly, and Nangong was still whispering in my ear:

"Actually, we have always known that there is a woman in my uncle's heart. He met him when he was a knight-errant in Xuanyuan, but no one knows the identity of this woman. They only know that they loved each other very deeply. Uncle lingered in Xuanyuan for her. For many years, I almost forgot my identity."

"However, he has lived for recovery all his life. Even if there is an affair in his heart, he can't let his son and daughter love each other. That woman only wants him to be like an ordinary man, to be by her side, two people No one would bow their heads, and in the end—"

"They separated." I said slowly.

Nangong glanced at me, nodded, then remained silent for a while, and said, "At that time, that woman was already pregnant."

"...!"

There seemed to be a flash of thunder in the sky. The rumbling sound made me lose consciousness all of a sudden. I didn't know how long it took before I slowly raised my head and looked at him stiffly: "You—what did you say?"

"She was pregnant and left my uncle."

Pregnant? !
Pregnant? !
My mind suddenly became messy, with countless things churning and entangled, as if my head was going to explode, I hugged my head and curled up slowly, Nangong hurriedly stretched out his hand to support me: " Xingsi--"

pregnant...

My mother's queen, Queen Xuanyuan, is actually a person with no past.

Although many people know about it, almost no one mentions it. My father met her in a nunnery. Even more beautiful, the emperor didn't come out once he sank into it, and the layman also agreed to his marriage proposal.

Seven months after the wedding, the mother gave birth to a son prematurely, named Xuanyuan Kang, and canonized as Prince Xuanyuan...

Pregnancy - Premature - Pregnancy - Premature -

Xuanyuan Kang is Nangong Yu's son? !

I curled up there, trembling like a child who just woke up from a nightmare. No matter how hard Nangong grabbed me, it seemed like he couldn't catch me at all, and would shatter and disappear at any moment. He was silent for a long time, and called me softly: " Xingsi..."

"So, that's the case."

I looked up at him sadly, and suddenly smiled.

It turned out to be like this - no wonder, she had always only had Xuanyuan Kang in her eyes, only her eldest son, and when Xuanyuan Kang died, her heart was as sad as death, as if she had lost her own life.

But I only found out today that because Xuanyuankang is Nangong Yu's son, the son of the man she has truly loved, loved, and perhaps deeply hated, so she only has this son in her heart, even if I am her My daughter, with her blood flowing in her body, has never been favored by her, and she doesn't even have the energy to look at me more.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha……"

I laughed out loud, tears welled up in my eyes, ran wildly on my pale face, and became more and more embarrassed, Nangong hurriedly said: "Xing Si, Xing Si, what's wrong with you?"

I didn't answer him, just laughed, crazy laugh, tears streaming down my face, hoarse voice, I lost all strength from laughing, almost fell down, Nangong hurriedly hugged my crumbling body, and looked at me worriedly , I shook my head while looking at him: "I——"

"Xingsi..."

I slowly looked up at the sky, the sun pierced more tears, and fell silently.

"I've always known that she treats Xuanyuan Kang differently from me—I always thought it was because Xuanyuan Kang is a prince, and a mother is more expensive than a child, so of course she loves him more. I saw her hugging Xuanyuan Kang countless times while Xuanyuan Kang was studying. When he is tired, she will ask the palace maid to bring him refreshments, and when Xuanyuan Kang is tired from practicing swords, she will wipe his sweat with her own hands, I am so envious of the feeling of a mother-child relationship."

"I thought that as long as I could do better, the queen mother would love me as much as she loved Xuanyuan Kang. So I worked harder than Xuanyuan Kang and studied in Jixian Hall. He was not the right match. I can match it; riding and shooting in the training ground, he was thrown off the horse, but I broke my tiger's mouth and persisted on the horse's back; I never cry, never willful, and never only smile to others Look at them, I thought that if I did these things, the queen mother would take another look at me..."

"But no—"

I slowly stretched out my hand across my face, blocking the glare of the sun.

"When Xuanyuan Kang died, it was as if her soul was taken away by someone. She didn't care about anything, didn't ask any questions, and locked herself in the Buddhist hall. For eight years, she didn't see me again. You Do you know, I had a serious illness in Wangyun Palace, almost died, I kept calling my mother, I kept calling her, but until the end, she didn't show up..."

"Xingsi." Nangong's voice was full of pain, and it rang in my ears, and his hands tightly held my weak body: "Stop talking."

"She is hating me, she hates why it is not me who died, but Xuanyuan Kang! She would rather die than me!"

Speaking of this, tears rushed out again crazily, and recalling this time when she returned to Xuanyuan Kingdom, she saw me in the Xuanyuan Hall, the coldness in her eyes at that moment was not because of anything else, but because she knew , Nangong Yu is dead.

I "killed" her most important person for the second time.

So, she gave Yuxi to Nangong to let him take it away. She would rather the country be in chaos, and she would rather I do all this without getting anything from all my efforts, because——

she hates me!
I have done so much and worked so hard for so many years, thinking that I can get my mother's mercy, but it turned out that it only made her heart farther away from me and made her hate me even more.

If you really hate me so much, why did you give birth to me?

If you really hate me so much, why did you give birth to me...

This sentence lingered in my heart for an unknown amount of time, and gradually the surrounding sky turned dark, the golden crow slanted to the west, and the jade rabbit rose to the east. Reflected in the bright moon, like two thin silhouettes, so lonely, so lonely.

The cold wind blows the tears that are constantly dripping from my eyes, and also brings a trace of coldness.

Nangong leaned down, stretched out his hand and gently wiped my cheeks, his fingertips were as cool as the moonlight, I had never felt such a coolness before, looking up at him, there was no ripple in his calm eyes, silent Chills of amber.

After a while, I heard his voice sound hollow in my ears——

"Xingsi, I did a lot of things back then, but I didn't actually want to get you or anything. I did those things because I believed that happiness is a matter of human effort. As long as I work hard, everything can be achieved."

Is happiness a matter of human effort?
"But in fact, this idea is wrong," he continued slowly, "so no matter how hard you try, it's always wrong."

No matter how hard you try, it's always wrong...

Yes, I once believed that too, so I kept working hard and forcing myself to do things I didn't want to do, but in the end I found helplessly that my hard work just made my life more painful.

I tasted the saltiness of tears on the tip of my tongue, I smiled wryly and shook my head.

But at this moment, I suddenly remembered what he said to me just now, raised my head and asked him: "Nangong, what do you mean when you told me just now that you don't want to see me continue to make mistakes?"

His eyes darkened for a moment: "You know why I took the jade seal away?"

"Didn't my mother ask you to take it?"

He nodded: "It's just a reason."

"Any other reason?"

"If you really get the jade seal of Xuanyuan Kingdom, Xingsi, you will definitely die."

"what?!"

I was taken aback and looked at him with wide eyes - if I really got the jade seal, I would definitely die, what do you mean?
Nangong said slowly: "For hundreds of years, the Central Plains has been divided many times, and there have been many unifications, there have been extremely powerful empires, and there have been wars in many feudal states, but when have you ever heard of the heroine? The world?"

I froze for a moment.

"It has never happened in thousands of years. Although it is rumored that there have been women who listened to politics behind a curtain, took part in politics, and even had power in the government, but it is harder for them to really walk out of that curtain. Why do the people of Qinglong Kingdom accept it? Have you thought about it?"

In retrospect, my ascension to the throne was indeed difficult. Even with Chu Feng's will, even if I expelled the rebellious Nangong family from Qinglong Kingdom, and even after Shaoyu and Yu He settled the overall situation for me, those courtiers still Unwilling to bow down to me, the suspicious look in their eyes is still fresh in my memory.

But they knelt down in the end because—that man appeared.

Because of his appearance, my ascension to the throne became a matter of course.

I seemed to realize something, looked up at Nangong, and he continued: "It's because he appeared, right? But why did he appear, those courtiers did not support him, but supported you, do you know?"

Isn't it because he bowed down to me?
Nangong's voice slowly rang out with a hint of coldness: "If he was the one who ascended the throne at the beginning, would it be so easy for Xuanyuan Kingdom to surrender today?"

My heart skipped a beat: "You mean—"

"After all, your surname is Xuanyuan. With you here, it will be easier to win the Xuanyuan Kingdom than others. But now that the White Tiger is destroyed and the Suzaku is flattened, once Xuanyuan Kingdom is also annexed by the Qinglong Kingdom, do you think you are still valuable? What's more —Your children are gone.”

My mind seemed to have been hit hard, and it suddenly became blank.

"Once Xuanyuan Kingdom's jade seal is in hand, they will do it immediately."

I raised my head stiffly: "What do you mean—those ministers of Qinglong Kingdom, are they going to assassinate me?"

"Yes, maybe they were still hesitating before, but when they know that your child has disappeared and there is almost no hope of finding it again, and you actually moved the capital at this time, how could they let go of their vested interests and follow you? Just take When you get to Yuxi and get the power of Xuanyuan, your value will be gone—"

"They will assassinate me in the hall, and then support Ling Shaoyang, right?"

"Correct."

I laughed when I heard this. In the silent mountain forest, such laughter floated far away.

"Kill me, is it so easy?"

"It's easy."

"..."

"Xingsi, to the people of Qinglong Kingdom, you are not an emperor, you are just a knife they use, and you have no foundation. Killing you is not regicide, but restoration."

The two words Guangfu made my heart feel cold. Nangong's words are correct and every word hits the nail on the head. I am indeed just an emperor in the imperial edict, but I can see it very clearly these days when I went south. , My orders are not prohibitions, there is a person, he is often easier to say than my orders.

However, even if his words are more effective than the imperial decree, he still stands silently behind me...

Thinking of this, I clenched my fists and said to Nangong, "So what? Since I already know, of course I won't let those people get it so easily!"

Nangong looked behind me, and suddenly showed a strange expression on his face: "But, I'm afraid you will be too late."

"what?"

I was startled, turned around quickly, and was surprised to find that the night sky behind me, which was supposed to be dark, turned red!
That is - wildfire!
A big fire had already ignited on the steep hillside behind. When the night wind blew, the fire burned quickly. It's time to reach the top!
"how so?!"

Nangong pulled me behind him, looked at the fire that slowly surrounded us, his face was still cold, he gritted his teeth and said: "It seems that they have already made a move."

Just now Nangong shot down the pieces of my clothes with an arrow, no doubt telling them that I am on the top of the mountain, but at this time I have no protection, it is also a good time to assassinate me, it seems that those people intend to take this opportunity, even Nangong and I were burned to death together, which can be regarded as cutting the grass and roots.

"It looks like they really plan to kill me without telling him."

"Hiding it on him?"

Hearing my muttering, Nangong suddenly smiled lightly, and looked back at me: "Those people have been planning for so long, do you think they don't know anything about it?"

(End of this chapter)