What do you want in life

Chapter 19 Young Love Is Like Fireworks Are Cold (13)
In the empty room, a chair that was usually used for sitting and reading was pulled to the front of the row of bookshelves. On the top of the bookshelves, a stack of large-format materials in file bags was torn out in half, revealing the torn There are three or four photo album-like hardcover books piled up next to the opening of the pocket, which are scattered on the top of the shelf. Obviously, someone has rummaged through it for the required information, and it must be Grandma Wu.

But there was still no sign of Grandma Wu in her field of vision. Xiaoying didn't know whether to be thankful or more frightened. She summoned up her courage, held her breath and walked in a few steps, trying to find traces of Grandma Wu.

However, her footsteps froze for a moment when her eyes turned to the ground——

Passing over the desk that blocked her view, she was horrified to see Grandma Wu lying on the floor face down, her body bent, her head just rushed to the sharp corner of the desk, and a pool of bright red blood slowly flowed from her head. Flowing out, while she still held a gray photo album firmly in her hand.

Xiaoying opened her mouth wide, but she couldn't make any sound. The moment she saw Grandma Wu fell to the ground, she was petrified.

Xiaoying locked herself in her room for a day and a night, and would not open the door to anyone who knocked. Han Zhengsheng was so anxious that she jumped at Liu Juan, "Look at the good job you've found, what kind of trouble did you make of a good child?"

The situation was serious, and Liu Juan panicked this time too. She ignored Han Zhengsheng and stood outside Xiaoying's room, trying to persuade her loudly, "Xiaoying, this matter has nothing to do with you, Mrs. Zhao also said Oh, it’s definitely not bad for you, Mrs. Wu did it by accident. If you really want to investigate the responsibility, that old Wang will bear the greatest responsibility! Really, don’t be afraid, this matter has nothing to do with you ..."

The whole family came up to persuade Xiaoying in turn, lest she would be tempted to do something stupid for a while, but after exhausting their words, Xiaoying remained unmoved.

Finally, Han Zhengsheng couldn't bear it anymore, and he called a locksmith to remove the lock on Xiaoying's door.

When the three of them entered the door, they saw Xiaoying curled up on the bed, unscathed, and they were all relieved.

Xiaoying didn't want to go out to meet people because she couldn't bear the comfort of others, not only made her ears hurt from the noise, but those words of comfort were like sharp swords piercing her heart, reminding her of what happened all the time, so , she would rather be alone.

She also understands that her family is for her own good, but she can't pass her own test after all.

Before that, she had not experienced life and death. When her father's body was salvaged from the river, her trembling mother hugged her tightly and covered her eyes to prevent her from seeing.Not being able to see it with the eyes does not mean not being able to imagine it in the heart, and the horror is no less than seeing it with your own eyes.

And the mother, she closed her eyes in front of Xiaoying, her young but weather-beaten face was full of resentment towards the world, like an unchangeable photo, engraved in Xiaoying's heart forever.

However, although the death of her parents made Xiaoying feel pain, it was beyond her control. Only this time, she could have controlled Grandma Wu's accident, but because of her negligence, Grandma Wu walked away under her nose. She couldn't forgive herself.

There is a place in her heart that was already close to light, but now it is quietly going to ashes. She knows that it is not only because of Grandma Wu's death.

Xiaoying has become the focus of attention in the family, and someone is with her almost all the time.

During the day, both Liu Juan and Han Zhengsheng had to work, and the duty of care fell on Xiaoyu. He seemed to have grown up all of a sudden, staying at home quietly every day, cooking delicious boiled noodles for Xiaoying Or fried rice to eat; at night, under Han Zhengsheng's strong request, Liu Juan slept with Xiaoying in the same room to prevent her from having any accidents.

The door with the broken lock was left open day and night, and Han Zhengsheng wished he could remove the entire door.

Liu Juan couldn't sleep peacefully in Xiaoying's room. After two days, she complained very much about the job. On the third night, no matter how hard Han Zhengsheng begged, she was no longer willing to live with Xiaoying. Then there was another dispute of no small scale.

When they were arguing like a raging fire after closing the door, Xiaoyu pushed open the door without being invited in, "Stop arguing, I'm going to accompany my sister tonight!"

The undisguised disgust on his face stunned Liu Juan and Han Zhengsheng at the same time, and Liu Juan retorted, "What nonsense are you talking about! You're a boy!"

"I'll make a bed in my sister's room." After Xiaoyu finished speaking, she didn't want to listen to their opinions, so she turned her head and left.

Within a few minutes, Xiaoyu rolled the mat on his bed into Xiaoying's room, spread it out on the floor, threw the pillow on the mat, and lay down on it by himself.

Xiaoying sat on the bed in a daze. She hadn't spoken for a few days, and she didn't show any surprise at Xiaoyu's behavior.

"Sister, go to sleep." Xiaoyu turned off the light and told her in the dark.

In the dead of night, Xiaoyu felt that he finally had a little bit of real manliness. He was no longer the youngest member of the family who was considered the most in need of care.He stared at the unclear ceiling in the dark, a strange heroic emotion surged in his chest, and he couldn't sleep.

Hearing the sound of him trying to suppress but still had to turn over, Xiaoying suddenly said to him: "Xiaoyu, go back to sleep."

Xiaoyu was taken aback for a moment, and after a moment of silence, he replied: "Sister, did I influence you? I'm not moving, okay?"

Xiaoying said slowly: "You are looking at me like this, are you worried that I will commit suicide? Don't worry, I won't."

Xiaoyu scratched his head in embarrassment, turned over and sat up, "It doesn't mean that, or, I'm just afraid that you... will think wildly."

Xiaoying actually smiled, "If I want to do something stupid, I can always find a chance, unless you stay up all night and keep your eyes on me without blinking."

"But I..."

"Go back." Xiaoying interrupted him, "I can't sleep well because you are here. I can't say these things to my uncle and aunt."

In this family, there is a wonderful tacit understanding between Xiaoying and Xiaoyu. This kind of tacit understanding does not exist between them and any adult, but only exists between them.

Xiaoyu believes what Xiaoying said is true.

The room was still very dark, but after the eyes gradually adapted to the environment, everything around them could be vaguely seen clearly.Xiaoyu stared at Xiaoying who was lying on the bed with her back turned to her, and asked hesitantly, "Sister, are you so sad not only because of that old lady, but also because of...Brother Shen?"

Although Xiaoying didn't answer him, from her stiff posture, Xiaoyu felt that she had hit the point.

After a long time, Xiaoying didn't say another word, Xiaoyu got up slowly, picked up her pillow and mat, and quietly went back to the room.

The next morning, Han Zhengsheng was relieved when he saw Xiaoying brushing her teeth in the bathroom.Throughout the night, he lived in fear and slipped out of the room many times to check on Xiaoying.

The eldest brother helped him a lot when he was alive, but now that his brother and sister-in-law are gone, if something happens to their only blood, what face will he have in the future to meet those two underground?Because of this, he became more and more resentful towards Liu Juan's actions.

It was too early, Han Zhengsheng gave his son a few words as usual, and then left home one after another with Liu Juan.

Xiaoying sat at the dining table and drank the porridge slowly, Xiaoyu ate up all the porridge and steamed buns in two or three bites, wiped her mouth and said to her: "Sister, I have something to go out for a while, there are dried noodles and some noodles in the refrigerator at noon. Ham, you can eat it yourself."

Xiaoying understands that Xiaoyu has been at home with her for the past few days, and it is really suffocating, so there is no reason why she should not agree.

After Xiaoyu left, the room was finally empty again, leaving Xiaoying alone.While she was feeling quiet, a trace of loneliness and desolation came to her heart at the same time.

After washing the dishes, Xiaoying went back to the room, sat on the bed and was dazed for a while, her thoughts were still in a mess, constantly being cut and arranged.

She got up and randomly picked a book from the bookshelf to read.Many pains entangled in the heart cannot be resolved for a while, no matter how much theory and practical experience you use to comfort them, in the end, it will still linger in the heart like smoke, and you can’t get rid of it no matter how hard you try.

The only way to get rid of the worry is to do something else, try to avoid thinking about it, and allow plenty of time to wash away all this accumulation.

The wind chime on the window sill was blown by the breeze from time to time, making a clear sound. Gradually, she was completely integrated into the book, and the wind chime could not even be heard.

The sun was moving up inch by inch, and it was almost 12 o'clock, but she didn't feel hungry.

When a book is coming to an end, there is also the sound of unlocking the gate, which means Xiaoyu has returned.

She insisted on turning the last page, and then closed the book, finally feeling tired and empty in her stomach.

"Sister!" Xiaoyu called her in the living room.

Xiaoying stood up, and just as she was about to put the book back on the shelf, Xiaoyu had already run into her room, "Sister, someone is here to see you."

Holding the book in her hands, she turned around in confusion, only to see Xiaoyu step aside, and Shen Juncheng's figure stood out in front of her.

The book in her hand was not held firmly, and it fell to the ground with a thud. She moved her lips, but no sound came out.

Xiaoyu pushed Shen Juncheng from behind, and raised his voice: "Sister, you are chatting with Brother Shen, I'm going to get something to eat, I'm starving to death!"

Shen Juncheng stepped into Xiaoying's room, seeing her face that had lost weight rapidly in a few days, felt a pain in his heart, he silently took Xiaoying into his arms, and hugged her tightly.

Xiaoying lay in his arms in a daze. At first, she just felt a little stuffy, but gradually, her nose and head seemed to be occupied by a hot breath, as if a strong tropical high pressure hovered over her mind. There is a danger of losing control at any time.

"I know all about it." Shen Juncheng's voice was a little hoarse, "but my mother didn't allow me to come out, so...it wasn't your fault, Han Xiaoying. It was the anniversary of Afang's sister's death that day, and grandma missed her so much, so I went to find out by myself. Looking for her photo, it turned out that this accident happened... No one would have thought that this would happen, but it was definitely not your fault."

There was a warm and wet feeling spreading on the lapel of Shen Juncheng's chest, his heart tightened, and he hugged Xiaoying's hand even harder, "If you want to cry, just cry out loudly."

As soon as the words were finished, Xiaoying cried out in his arms with a "wow". The grievance and pain rushed out like a flood that broke the embankment, and swayed wantonly on Shen Juncheng's chest.He felt that his heart was also sour, but he endured it, he was a man, and he couldn't cry weakly in front of the girl he loved.

At this moment, he whispered to himself in his heart, "Only this time, I will never let her cry like this again in the future."

At that time, he was as innocent as a blank sheet of paper, unaware of the bleakness of the future and the cruelty of reality. The only thing he thought about was to protect the girl in his arms with his own strength.

An hour later, Xiaoyu made three steaming bowls of noodles. This was the second time for Shen Juncheng to eat at Han's house. It was still noodles, and the three of them were still sitting together. The relaxed mood before was gone. live.

The hearty weeping in Shen Juncheng's arms relieved Xiaoying's enormous mental pressure, and her mood finally improved.

"How did you come out today?" She asked Shen Juncheng, she believed that he hadn't been seen for a while before because of his mother's strict supervision.

As soon as this was mentioned, Shen Juncheng's handsome face was obviously darkened, but he still pretended to be nonchalant, "I came here by car!"

Xiaoying looked at his complexion carefully, and suddenly found that his right cheek was a little bruised, although it was very light, but his complexion was fair, and she could still tell, her heart fluttered, "I mean, you... …Mother……"

"What does it have to do with my mother? I can come out whenever I want." Shen Juncheng hurriedly said, his face obviously unnatural.

Xiaoying hesitated, and didn't dare to ask any more questions, but when she was washing dishes in the kitchen, she still found an opportunity to call Xiaoyu in alone, and asked him in a low voice, "Did you go to find Shen Juncheng?"

Xiaoyu hesitated at first, but after thinking about it later, there was nothing to hide, so he simply told the truth, "I went to look for him, his nanny is really annoying, even if he doesn't let Brother Shen see him, he will drive me away , thanks to Brother Shen seeing me on the balcony and winking at me, I quietly went around to the back door. Guess what, Brother Shen was locked upstairs! He didn’t have a key in his hand, and finally jumped out of the window , I’ll be his support under the window, hehe!” Thinking of that thrilling scene, Xiaoyu suddenly felt a little excited.

The more Xiaoying listened, the more frightened she became, "Which floor did he jump from?"

"Second floor! Brother Shen's house is really big, and it's a single family." Xiaoyu said a few words with joy, and found that her sister's expression was very ugly, so she hurriedly fell silent again.

Xiaoying was stunned for a while, then suddenly felt strange, "How do you know where he lives?"

Xiaoyu scratched his head in embarrassment, and under the urging of Xiaoying's eyes, he had to tell the truth, "Brother Shen actually gave me his home phone number and address a long time ago, and he even asked me for our home number." Well, but I was afraid that my mother would know, so I didn't give it to him..."

It turned out that her younger brother and she had the same thoughts, Xiaoying wanted to laugh but couldn't.

"Why did he give you these?" She was still doubtful.

"He said, heck, he said..." Xiaoyu felt very distressed about Shen Juncheng who was about to "betray" Shen Juncheng, but he couldn't stand up to her sister's persistent gaze, "He said that in case any boy chases you in the future, I must tell you He...he also said that when he went to H University, he would give me the number there..."

The red cloud climbed up to Xiaoying's ears suddenly, but then faded away, and now she didn't have any intention of talking about love, so she suddenly waved to Xiaoyu, "Go out."

Before Xiaoyu left, she still didn't forget to tell her ghostly, "Sister, I told you everything, don't betray me!"

Xiaoying was washing the dishes in a daze, thinking of Shen Juncheng's fiery gaze and Wu Qiuyue's cold eyes, her heart was suddenly cold and then hot again, and she felt a sense of illusory trance.

After eating, Xiaoying sat down for another cup of tea. Xiaoying noticed that Shen Juncheng was secretly looking at his watch with an absent-minded expression. She suddenly understood and suggested, "Why don't you go back first."

Xiaoyu urged her sister to send him off, but Xiaoying didn't refuse, and the two walked out of the corridor together.

Xiaoying has been staying at home for a few days, and she was suddenly exposed to the scorching sun, like a mouse crossing the street. The hot and dazzling sunlight made her feel dizzy.

Shen Juncheng quietly stretched out his hand, and held it firmly with hers. The coldness of her palm made him feel refreshed, and he felt pity in his heart.

Xiaoying's eyes lingered on the bruise on Shen Juncheng's face from time to time, she was almost sure that it was a slap in the face from him.

When Shen Juncheng turned his head and looked down at her again, he finally met her bewildered eyes lingering on his face, and couldn't help touching his face, "What's wrong?"

Xiaoying stopped in her tracks and hesitated for a while, but she couldn't resist her curiosity. She raised her hand and pointed to the abnormality on his face, "What's going on here...?"

Shen Juncheng's hand touched that piece of skin that would feel aching as long as he exerted force, and then quickly withdrew his hand.

"It's nothing, I accidentally bumped into the door." He was not good at lying, and his flickering eyes had already told Xiaoying the truth.

"Did your mother call you?" She wanted to ask in a more tactful manner, but for some reason, seeing the expression he was trying to hide, she became more and more sad, and couldn't help but blurt out.

Shen Juncheng's expression was completely frozen, he paused for a while, then lowered his head, and responded sullenly, "En."

Xiaoying felt cold, "Because of me?"

"No!" Shen Juncheng hurriedly raised his head, hastily defending himself.

Xiaoying didn't believe it at all, she laughed self-deprecatingly and said, "You don't have to hide it from me, your mother doesn't like me, I know—maybe she doesn't let you associate with me, so...you are really stubborn."

"My mother, she..." Shen Juncheng let go of Xiaoying's hand, with a heavy expression on his face. He suddenly felt that it would be better to tell Xiaoying, at least to prepare her mentally, "For the past two days, my mother has been Discuss with my aunt about... asking you to compensate..."

"Compensation? Compensation for what?" Xiaoying asked in amazement, and then her face turned pale, and she understood what was going on.

Shen Juncheng continued: "My mother insisted that grandma's death was due to..." He looked at Xiaoying, unable to speak any further.

Xiaoying's heart sank heavily, and it seemed like a strong wind pierced through her heart in an instant. She could hardly stand, and had to hold onto a tree by the roadside.

"I told my mother, it wasn't your fault, and she slapped me in a rage, and said... she would send me abroad as soon as possible." Shen Juncheng lowered his head in distress, "But I don't want to go out now at all. .”

What he didn't dare to tell Xiaoying was that his mother was furious after learning of his puppy love. Not only did he not allow him to go to Wu's house, but also restricted his personal freedom.

Now that grandma's accident has made things worse, mother even blamed her aunt, and her control over him has intensified.Shen Juncheng had a bad feeling. His mother seemed to want to use this incident to completely isolate him from Han Xiaoying. For this reason, she did not hesitate to "drive Xiaoying to death", and he himself could do nothing but make a few futile excuses. .

Xiaoying stared at him blankly. At this time, they were standing under the shade of a cluster of trees. The bright sunlight swayed down through the gaps between the leaves, casting a swaying halo on the faces of both of them.

She walked over slowly, and without knowing where the courage came from, she suddenly stretched out her hand, and gently stroked the half of Shen Juncheng's cheek that had been slapped.

Shen Juncheng raised his head, looked at her bewilderedly, and wrapped his palms around her slender hands that were caressing his face.

The four eyes met, but the innocence and innocence of the first meeting were lost in each other's eyes, replaced by indescribable sadness and helplessness.

Shen Juncheng suddenly opened his arms and hugged Xiaoying tightly, and Xiaoying also tightly wrapped around his waist with the same force. In this forceful embrace, she actually tasted the taste of parting from life and death.

"Don't worry." Shen Juncheng murmured comforting words on top of her head, "You'll be fine, this matter is being suppressed by my aunt, she has been persuading my mother, I believe she can convince my mother .”

(End of this chapter)