What do you want in life

Chapter 77
Seeing Li Zhen walking directly to the gate, Xiaoying was slightly taken aback, "I made breakfast, don't you want to eat?"

"No." Li Zhen lowered his head to change his shoes, "I'm in a hurry, I'll just eat something on the way."

Xiaoying understood that he wanted to avoid her, and she felt sad. After a moment's pause, she asked again: "Have you... contacted the residence?"

"Yeah." Li Zhen answered briefly, as if he didn't want to say more, he immediately opened the door with his hand, and turned his head to look at Xiaoying when he was about to go out, "I will call you again, if you need my help here Yes, cough, you can also find me."

Xiaoying nodded silently.

"I am leaving."

The door closed quietly like this, and from now on, she and Li Zhen will become two irrelevant people.The silence after the excitement is always the most unbearable.Xiaoying feels this way now.

She forced herself to stop thinking about it, thinking too much was not good for reality.And she also believes that no matter how difficult and troublesome the future is, she will eventually be able to overcome it.

Back at the apartment, Xiaoying was not very surprised to see Xiaoyu walking around the door. She understood her brother's temper, and as long as he wanted to know, even if the sky fell, he couldn't stop him.

Seeing Xiaoying, Xiaoyu immediately showed a look of relief.

"Sister, did Xiaozhi go to school?" He first asked with a smile. When he arrived, he found no one at home. He guessed that Xiaoying sent the child to kindergarten in all likelihood.

"Yeah." Xiaoying opened the door without much expression, "Come in."

Xiaoyu glanced at her back, a little unsure of Xiaoying's thoughts, and entered the door, he looked inside and out like a detective, but he didn't find any clues of a fight.

"Brother-in-law went to work?" Xiaoyu had nothing to say.

Xiaoying ignored him, untied the coat and hung it on the hanger, frowned and asked deliberately: "Didn't I tell you not to come today? You came so early, what's the matter?"

"No, it's all right." Xiaoyu put his hands in his pockets, and sat down on the sofa leisurely, "It's because I'm all right, so I came here to take a look—sister, what do you think you've been up to these two days?"

Xiaoying changed the subject, "Have you eaten earlier?"

"Nope!"

"I have a lot here, let me serve you a bowl of porridge."

After a while, Xiaoyu was drinking the porridge with relish, and heard her sister slowly say from the side: "I have something to tell you, Li Zhen and I... divorced."

"Pfft——" Xiaoyu sprayed a mouthful of porridge on the table, coughing in astonishment, "You, you..." His face was flushed red, and he couldn't even finish his sentence.

Xiaoying hurriedly took a towel and wiped it for him. Xiaoyu took a few breaths before recovering, and immediately felt that the situation was serious. Yes, but I never mentioned the issue of divorce, why, I just came back yesterday... It was Li Zhen who mentioned it, right?"

Thinking of Xiaoying's happy face after answering Li Zhen's call last night, Xiaoyu was almost sure that Li Zhen meant the divorce.

Compared with Xiaoyu's shock, Xiaoying was much calmer. She let out a sigh of relief, "Don't ask anything. I didn't want to tell you so soon. Now that you are here, it's okay to let you know earlier... ...Don't let Xiaozhi know, even Guo Jia, if you can hide it, let's hide it first, I want to be quiet for a while."

"Then what about Xiaozhi?"

"He and I."

"This is impossible!" Xiaoyu thumped the table vigorously, "Li Zhen loves Xiaozhi so much, why is he willing to let go? Could it be..." He suddenly realized, but his eyes flashed with scorching anger, "He Is there anyone outside?"

"No!" Xiaoying defended Li Chen almost instinctively, "He didn't."

Xiaoyu was still puzzled, "Then you must at least let me know the reason. I really, really can't figure it out, sister."

Xiaoying rested her cheeks on her elbows, her eyes were drooping, she really couldn't tell the real reason, and she knew Xiaoyu's temper so well, maybe he would go to Shen Juncheng immediately, but she didn't think about it at all. Well what to do next.

"The reason is...it's meaningless for the two of us to continue arguing like this. It's better to get together and get away."

Of course Xiaoyu wouldn't believe it, but no matter how much he questioned, Xiaoying's mouth seemed to be sealed with wax, and she didn't reveal a word.

"Okay." Xiaoyu shrugged helplessly, "If you think divorce can solve the problem, then..." He sighed depressingly, glanced at Xiaoying, and didn't go any further. There is no need for him to express his position.

"What are you going to do in the future?"

"I don't know." Xiaoying said bluntly, "I'm still thinking about it."

"Then this house..." Xiaoyu looked around, revealing reality in his eyes.

"Everything here belongs to him, and I don't want it."

"You..." Xiaoyu muttered with a sense of indisputable anger, "I really don't understand what you are all for."

Xiaoying smiled wryly in her heart. Before last night, even she herself didn't understand.

Xiaoyu really kept his promise, even when he was traveling alone with Guo Jia, he didn't reveal any news about Xiaoying's divorce to her, and he didn't get the news from Xiaoying until the two returned from their honeymoon, so they were surprised.But she was uncharacteristically, and she didn't show strong interest in any gossip and persistence to find out the truth like in the past-this is a pain for Xiaoying, and she is unwilling to do immoral things that sprinkle salt on her friend's wounds. , even though she, like Xiaoyu, was puzzled by the reason for their divorce.

Another week later, Li Zhen called and told Xiaoying that the lawyer had been contacted.

There was no dispute in terms of formalities. The two divorced by agreement. Not only did they not blush over the division of property like many couples did, but they also gave way to each other over the division of property. The lawyer was quite surprised.

In the end, Xiaoying still did not accept any property belonging to Li Zhen. Even though according to the law, she could get half of the property after marriage, but she felt that she owed Li Zhen too much, so how could she accept his gift with peace of mind.

After completing the formalities, the two walked out of the lawyer's office silently side by side.Li Zhen wanted to open his mouth to ask her about her next plan several times, but was afraid of hearing an answer that would upset him, so he decided to give up after thinking about it.

Since he is about to become a passer-by, he should learn to stop caring about her from this moment. He doesn't believe in the argument of "we're still friends after breaking up".

At the gate, Xiaoying said, "I will move to Xiaoyu's place as soon as possible."

"Don't be in such a hurry." Li Zhen quickly expressed his opinion.

Xiaoying smiled, "I've made an agreement with Xiaoyu. It's not appropriate for you to stay in a hotel all the time." After a pause, he hesitated and said, "If you have time, is it convenient to meet with Xiaozhi? He , he misses you very much."

Li Zhen's chest felt hot, then turned cold again in an instant, and forced a smile, "Okay, I will try to find time."

"I'm sorry to trouble you." Xiaoying whispered apologetically, "The child is still young, so I can't get used to it for a while..."

Li Zhen felt that his eyes were a little sour, and he tried his best to control his emotions, "Then, let's do it tomorrow, tomorrow morning... I will go back."

Knowing that this kind of meeting is like drinking poison to quench thirst for Xiaozhi, and it is meaningless, Li Zhen still can't help but feel soft-hearted. Perhaps, he can slowly adapt to Xiaoying's departure, but Xiaozhi, the child whom he cared for since he was a child, he Not sure how long it would take me to get him out of my chest completely.

On Sunday, Li Zhen arrived as scheduled to renew the "Father-Son Family Relationship" with Xiaozhi. As for why Dad came back to see him after a business trip, anyway, the adults always made up the reasons for the children, and the children couldn't help but believe it.

Li Zhen took Xiaozhi to the park to play. Not long after they left, Xiaoyu and Guo Jia rushed over to help Xiaoying move.

I packed two suitcases and three big bags of clothes, and the rest were all Xiaozhi's toys, which took up four or five cartons.

Xiaoyu and Guo Jia are responsible for the escort.

Before the car started, Xiaoyu poked his head out and asked Xiaoying, "Should you come back for dinner?"

Xiaoying nodded. The word "come back" in Xiaoyu's words suddenly made her feel sad. Where should her and Xiaozhi's home go in the future?

Going back upstairs, the tidied house was lonely and deserted. Although the hardware was the same, but without Xiaozhi's colorful toys, the house was not much different from a hotel.

Xiaoying walked around each room again. All the furniture was personally selected by her and Li Zhen back then. She was so familiar that she could count every path with her eyes closed.

This used to be the home she believed in all the time. Even if she encountered troubles and pains, she never thought of abandoning it.

It's a pity that the world is unpredictable. Standing in the middle of the room at this moment, looking at everything here with parting eyes, Xiaoying realized that there is no eternity in the world.

It was near evening when Li Zhen came back with Xiaozhi. From Xiaozhi's expression, he had a great time playing this day.

Li Zhen still had a big bag full in his hand, and when he opened it, there were a bunch of toys inside.

"He already has too many toys, so you don't need to buy him any more." Xiaoying was a little helpless, she didn't know if they could fit so many things into Xiaoyu's house, and their house was not big.

"This is the last time..." Li Zhen lowered his head and answered Xiaoying in a low voice.

A faint melancholy covered Xiaoying's heart again, and she stopped talking.

Xiaozhi happily ran to the balcony with his newly bought toy gun, Li Zhencai said again: "I explained to him, I said that I will go to work in other places for a year, and the house here will be sold, so both of you I have to live with my uncle temporarily. After a year, I... will come back to pick you up."

"Did he believe it?"

Li Zhen smiled wryly, "I guess he didn't understand what was going on in all likelihood, and he promised very well, but then turned around and asked me to go out with him again next week."

Xiaoying wanted to laugh, but her nose was sore.

Looking in the direction of the balcony, Li Zhen said with both relief and regret: "He is still too young, after a year or two, maybe he won't even know who I am."

Xiaoying tried her best to swallow back her sad tears, and without looking at Li Zhen, she said in a low voice, "We'll be leaving in a while... Thank you for taking care of our mother and child these past few years."

Li Zhen slowly turned his eyes from Xiaozhi, stared at Xiaoying's still delicate face for a long time, and then smiled faintly.

The time for parting will come, and it is not as heartbreaking as Xiaoying imagined, because the two adults cooperated tacitly, Xiaozhi followed her mother and left the former home without any burden.

Before leaving, he never forgot to tell Li Zhen, "Father, you have to pick me and mom up early!"

Li Zhen twisted his face when he heard the words, but luckily he could control himself, and nodded vigorously, "Definitely!"

Xiaoying hugged her son and got into the taxi as if in a dream. Looking at the rapidly receding scenery outside the window, and thinking about the prospect she was about to face, she suddenly wondered whether she had really lived in this city for three years. Otherwise, why would the feeling of wandering hold me tightly again?
Her heart was empty, and she couldn't grasp any real feeling, so she had to hug Xiaozhi tightly.

Xiaozhi's small body is warm, and his soft little hands are trying to push away his mother's restraint unceremoniously - she hinders him from playing with toys - now, it seems that he is the only one who can bring a little real love to Xiaoying. The sense of existence filled the huge void in her heart.

She can't help but think too much, Xiaoyu's home will be there in a blink of an eye.

Go upstairs and ring the doorbell. After a few seconds, the door opens, revealing two smiling faces of Xiaoyu and Guo Jia.

"Xiaozhi! Come, hug me!" Xiaoyu couldn't help but snatch Xiaozhi from Xiaoying's hand.

Guo Jia also walked up to Xiaoying with a smile on her face, "Hey, it's my first time cooking, so don't be disgusted if you eat it later!"

Stepping into the door, here is a new lively world, full of lively figures of Guo Jia and Xiaoyu, Xiaoying still showed a smile in the hustle and bustle, and the little hesitation in her heart was temporarily thrown away. Behind the heads.

In the darkness, Xiaozhi next to him could hear the sound of even breathing. As long as he was with his mother, he could sleep anywhere.

Xiaoying gently climbed out of bed, put on her coat in black and walked out of the room, planning to pour herself a glass of water.The next room seemed to still be lit, with light pouring through a crack in the bottom door.Remembering that she was bothering a newlywed couple, she felt very sorry.However, if Xiaoyu hadn't married Guo Jia, she would never have moved here.

Standing by the window, she had just drank a couple of sips of water when the door was gently opened behind her. Xiaoying turned her head and saw Guo Jia, who was wearing the same coat as her, came out.

Guo Jia turned on the light in the living room, immediately saw Xiaoying by the window, raised her eyebrows in surprise, "So you are here, I was just going to see if you were asleep!"

"Can't sleep, come out to get some air." Xiaoying replied with a smile, "Didn't bother you?"

"What are you talking about!" Guo Jia gave her a white look, "Don't go, just wait for me." She immediately entered her room.

After a while, Guo Jia walked back to the living room, with a thick blanket in her hand, she waved to Xiaoying, "Come on, sit on the sofa for a while, I can't sleep either."

Xiaoying happily curled up with her under the blanket.

"Oh, by the way, Guo Jia, I will move as soon as I find a job." Xiaoying repeated the topic just now.

"If you say that, you'll be offended!" Guo Jia frowned and gave her a sideways glance, "You've only been here for a day and you're leaving, what do you mean!"

"But living here all the time will affect you a lot." Xiaoying's speech was rather subtle, but Guo Jia must understand the meaning.

"Affect what? Influence? You clearly look down on me and Xiaoyu!" Guo Jia frowned even tighter, "I warn you, Han Xiaoying, if you want to move away at any time in the future, we are even friends. Nothing to do!"

Xiaoying was amused by her, and the doubts in her heart disappeared, "If you don't be friends, you will always be my sister-in-law!"

"You—" Guo Jia glared at her, read the humor in her eyes, and couldn't help but sneered, "Oh, I don't even know what to say about you."

Xiaoying smiled and raised her hand and shook it twice, "Where's Xiaoyu?"

"He's writing songs, and he always has ideas at night."

"This guy has been a night owl for more than ten years, and he hasn't changed yet."

"Hi! I'll let him go, people, the most important thing is to have a good time!"

"Xiaoyu is really lucky to find you." Xiaoying praised her sincerely, and then sighed softly, "I really didn't expect you two to be together. When you left Nanxiang and left me alone, we It was quite emotional.”

Guo Jia chuckled a few times, "Why don't we say that we are destined for each other!"

The two coincidentally recalled the scene when they first met in Nanxiang, and smiled knowingly.

Taking advantage of the harmonious atmosphere, Guo Jia took no time to inquire, "What about you, what are your plans for the future?"

This problem has troubled Xiaoying since the divorce, but now she is much calmer, "Find a job as soon as possible, and raise Xiaozhi well."

"That's it?" Guo Jia stared at her.

"What else can I do?" Xiaoying smiled, "This task alone is enough for me to keep busy."

"Then Li Zhen, he doesn't care about the children?" Guo Jia was puzzled and angry.

"He can't control it." Xiaoying said softly, then suddenly lowered her head.

"What do you mean I can't control it?" Guo Jia was even more surprised, "He is Xiaozhi's father! How could he push all the responsibility of raising him to you? He is to Xiaozhi..."

"Guo Jia!" Xiaoying raised her face and called her, "If you are a friend, don't ask any more, I...don't want to say anything now."

Xiaoying's expression of guilt mixed with confusion confused Guo Jia, but she understood Xiaoying's temper. She liked to hide everything in her heart. If she didn't really want to say it, no one would be able to pry it out of her mouth. Come.

"Okay." Guo Jia grinned, "Let's not talk about this, anyway, you are divorced and the bills are settled, it's up to you whether you want it or not. But you, you can't just go on like this forever Right? You're only 30 years old."

"I didn't think too much about it." Xiaoying fiddled with a corner of the blanket, "I just want to find a job as soon as possible so that I can support Xiaozhi."

Guo Jia twitched the corners of his mouth, tried to hold back several times, but still couldn't, so he tentatively asked in a low voice, "Have you... ever thought...to find Shen Juncheng?"

When she asked this question, her eyes were fixed on Xiaoying's face without blinking, so she could be sure that she was not mistaken - Xiaoying's lips twitched obviously, but she quickly lowered her head to cover up The look in the eyes.

"No, I haven't thought about it." She shook her head.

"Why?" Guo Jia couldn't figure it out, "You still love him, right? Let alone him! He was able to chase you here back then. Now that you are divorced, he must not be married yet. Why can't you Together? Is it because of Xiaozhi? Shen Juncheng is not such a stingy person, he won't treat Xiaozhi lightly!"

Xiaoying took a deep breath, "Guo Jia, you don't understand, Shen Juncheng...leaved City H because of me."

"What do you mean?"

"...I asked him to leave, because he was... Li Zhen couldn't live with me..." Xiaoying kept her head down, "Do you think I'm selfish?"

Guo Jia was speechless for a long while, and then asked again after a long time, "He actually agreed to you?"

Xiaoying closed her eyes in silence.

"God!" Guo Jia muttered to himself, "I really have never seen a man who is more infatuated than Shen Juncheng, you... oh!"

"Before he left, he told me that he would forget the past and would... get married as soon as possible... I have been selfish to him once, how can I be selfish to harass him now?"

"But, what if he's not married?" Guo Jia was anxious, "If he just talked about it, but he was still waiting for you in his heart? Think about it, he has been waiting for so many years, why can't he continue... ..."

"No! Impossible!" Xiaoying shook her head vigorously, "He is telling the truth this time, I can feel it." Her eyes suddenly filled with sadness, "He is also a human being, he has struggled for so long, of course It will be tiring, we two are together...it really makes him feel tired...how can you tell me to have the face, and I will go to him if I have the face..."

Tears couldn't be held back after all, rolling down from his cheeks drop by drop.

Looking back on her two relationships, she suddenly felt sad. She worked hard for each relationship, but none of them could start well and end well.

How could she go back and provoke Shen Juncheng as if nothing had happened after hurting Li Zhen just now?
And deep down in her heart, what she didn't even want to admit was how scared she was—when she brushed off the dust on her body and walked towards Shen Juncheng again, she found that he could no longer belong to her.

And Xiaozhi, if Shen Juncheng knew the truth, with his temperament, he would definitely not leave Xiaozhi alone, what should she do then, forcefully break up others?Then wouldn't she want to hurt an innocent person again?Otherwise, would Shen Juncheng support them?

No, these are not what Xiaoying wants.

The three of them have already been scarred by this intricate emotional entanglement. She believes that they, like herself, just want to find a place to rest and never encounter the pain of the past again.

(End of this chapter)