Chinese virtue

Chapter 28
China is a very densely populated country, so all members of Chinese families live together, and some quarrels will occur after a long time.When you ask your neighbor how many people live together, he will answer: "Eleven or twelve." If you ask: "Do you share everything?" Generally, his answer is yes.Just imagine, in a large family of more than ten people, almost three or four generations of grandparents and grandchildren live together. They only rely on some businesses or some land to maintain their livelihoods. All family members rely on these incomes for their expenses.The men of the family work hard for the family, but the sisters-in-law don't get along well.The little ones are jealous of the big ones, and the big ones bully the little ones.They all tried their best to convey the message to their husbands that we were the ones who suffered the most in the family.

Children in the family are the main cause of all kinds of disputes in the family.I am afraid that no society can withstand the pressure brought about by the family conditions in China.Westerners attach great importance to family harmony, but quarrels are inevitable, not to mention the complex structure of Chinese families.There are many reasons for conflicts. Money, clothing, food, and all kinds of messy little things can cause quarrels. Every family member has his own purpose and his own little calculation.

There is a word for anger in Chinese called "Qi", translated into English as "angry substance".This word is very magical. Whether it is in Chinese philosophy or in real life, "Qi" is an important concept.Once a person is provoked, "Qi" is produced accordingly.The Chinese believe that being angry can lead to various physical diseases, even blindness, heart failure, etc.Chinese doctors often ask their patients: "Who made you angry?" Foreign doctors who know China are convinced that the "qi" that Chinese doctors call can produce many incredible things.There is an example to prove this: a family lived in a mountainous area in Shandong. In October 1889, the man's wife passed away.This incident made the man very angry, because this man did not know how to raise children, and he had two very young children.In a fit of rage, he made three slits in his stomach with a razor.His friend hurried over after hearing this and sewed up the wound for him.Six days later, he was angry again and the wound opened.

In the end he forgot what he had done in his rage.Six months later, he walked to the Western Hospital hundreds of miles away for treatment.Most of the wounds on his abdomen have healed and scars have formed, but a large part of the function of his intestines is still destroyed.In the previous chapters, we talked about the strong vitality of the Chinese people, which is also fully reflected here.

Chinese people have a very bad habit, that is, they like to order and criticize others loudly.It is absolutely impossible for the Chinese to persuade each other calmly and listen to their explanations.They must interrupt others loudly, like a dog barking when provoked, which cannot be corrected.

Chinese people use all kinds of insults to others, and only Orientals can reach such a high level.As long as you start to quarrel, curse words will spew out like dirty water. In this regard, Westerners are really overwhelmed.Just like the fisherwoman at Billings Gate in London, her language is vicious, as long as there is a slight friction, she will be scolded like a cannonball, like sparks from two wires touching each other, for a long time Indestructible.No matter what class of people, whether men or women, it is the same.Compared with men, women's swearing language is more vicious and lasts longer.There is a saying about this that is very apt: "Women's tongues are as long as their foot-bindings." Babies who are just beginning to speak scold their parents with the swear words they have learned from them, and will swear at others as a fun thing to do.In Chinese society, swearing occurs in every class, and swearing has become the second nature of Chinese people.No matter how big the officials are, as long as they are provoked, they can utter a lot of curse words from their mouths like coolies on the street.Even in some places, swearing has been developed into a way of greeting. One party greets with swearing words, and the other party responds in the same way.

When Westerners curse others, their voices are not high, but they are very vicious; in contrast, Chinese people's voices are very high when they curse.Cursing others in English is like a bullet with wings, while cursing in Chinese is like a ball of filth.The Chinese regard swearing as a curse on others.For example, if a person finds out that the ears of wheat in his home have been cut off by someone, he will scold the thief loudly in the whole village. In fact, he has someone to suspect in his heart, but he still wants to scold him.He did this for two purposes. One was to inform his neighbors that he had lost something, and he could vent his anger by the way, which would make him feel better; Steal his things again.And the thief secretly listened to his insulting words.In fact, the thief was not sure if he had been discovered. Of course, under normal circumstances, he could not be discovered.But the person who cursed knew who the thief was, and he felt comfortable after being scolded in public, because to him this kind of insult was a warning, warning that the thief had been discovered, and he would not touch my things in the future.If the loser has lost very much, the insult becomes a declaration of war, and he will openly tell the thief that he will take revenge.

Most Chinese people who curse in public think this way.But these Chinese also know that his cursing like this will not prevent theft, and it will not even attract the thief's attention, because many thieves don't know that the person scolding is actually themselves.

Chinese women are more capable of swearing than men. They often sit on the roof, shouting swearing, and they can persist for a long time. Their voices are not hoarse, and they will not give up.Families with high social status generally do not exhibit this kind of behavior, because they know how to restrain themselves to maintain their image.Generally speaking, no one would pay attention to yelling and cursing in the street like this regardless of image.It often happens that a person is spitting and cursing on the roof or in the street, and there are no people around to watch the excitement.If it was too hot, he would fan the fan halfway to cool off, then get up and continue cursing.

Quarrels often end in personal attacks.Those Britons traveling in the south of Europe found their habit of slamming each other's shoulders in fights very surprising to the Italians.Neither the Chinese nor the Italians have learned boxing, and even if they have, it is not an orthodox boxing method.When Chinese fight, they are always used to grab each other's hair and pull them vigorously.If no one is fighting and neither side is armed, the fight can turn into a hair-pulling contest.

In fact, according to the theory mentioned above, Chinese quarrels can also be regarded as a kind of competition to some extent, a kind of scolding competition, to see who can vent their anger the most and abuse others the most.The only result of this match is that both sides will break their own throats, no matter what their physical condition is, neither side will suffer any other injuries.Although we also want to see what will happen if other people join the "battle situation", in fact, bystanders never join.Occasionally, a few people will come forward to catch the two sides of the scolding and persuade them, but often the result is not that the two sides die down and the quarrel stops, but that the scolding party finds that the person being persuaded is watching, and will scold even more fiercely until someone Pull away this meddling persuasionist.In fact, the Chinese are very "reasonable", they are very rational.Even in the heat of the moment, we never saw a quarrelsome person hold back the persuader and blame him for meddling.The Chinese hope to restore "peace" by quarreling.But often when it comes to themselves, they find that peace is difficult to achieve.In the end, they could only persuade the fight to pull the aggressive person away, and when the two sides separated, they had to curse each other in a low voice while walking.

Chinese people do not point out where the other party is wrong when quarreling, but keep insulting the other party's ancestors, and then satirize the other party's origin.The person being scolded feels that his self-esteem has been hurt. He is not angry because he is scolded in front of many people, nor is it because of the severity of the scolding, but because he feels that he is useless and loses face when he is scolded in public.Swearers sometimes realize that they are wrong, but it is not because they scolded the other party or lost their status, but simply because they used the wrong words.

If Chinese people carry weapons, such as revolvers or samurai swords, there will be many tragedies every day.

If the Chinese feel that they have been wronged, they will suddenly lose control and become angry.I once heard that a man wanted an experienced pastor to baptize him and bless him, but the pastor refused.The man immediately drew his knife on the priest and forced him to baptize himself, as if a duel would prove his right to be baptized.Fortunately, not all people who believe in God use this method, but many Chinese people often use this method.If you turn down a begging old woman, she will be lying in front of your carriage.

If you accidentally bump into her, she will use this as an excuse to keep you supporting her.There was such an old shrew in the small village where I lived. She often said that she was going to commit suicide, and her neighbors also said it was a good idea, but she never died.She later jumped into a mud ditch to commit suicide, only to find that the water in the ditch was only up to her neck.Instead of lowering her head and drowning herself, she yelled at the people in the village on the grounds that she failed to commit suicide.Finally, for the second time, she drowned herself as she wished.

When Chinese people encounter grievances that cannot be appealed, most of them will use private methods.For example, things like mother-in-law abuse of daughter-in-law are recognized everywhere, and the law can't control it, so the woman can only go to her "natal family" to seek justice for herself.If there is a disagreement, the two sides will fight.

If the mother-in-law escapes, the natal family will smash all the things that can be broken in the house to vent their anger, and they will stop after the anger subsides.Of course, if the in-law's family knew about it in advance, these fragile items would be transferred to the neighbor's house.A Chinese newspaper reported an incident that happened in Beijing. A young man was engaged to a beautiful girl, but when he got married, he found that the bride had turned into an ugly bald woman, and she was obviously not young.The young man beat up the matchmaker angrily, scolded the bride's family who came to the wedding, and smashed all the bride's dowry.Encountered such a situation, the average Chinese will be like this.No matter how angry you are, things will calm down, so "fighters" can play a very important role. These people are indispensable in life.They love peace very much, even if the matter has nothing to do with them, they will come forward to stop the fighting, so that both parties can calm down their anger and get along with each other in harmony.

Sometimes, the fighting between the two sides intensifies, and when it reaches the point where even the persuaders can't reconcile, they can only go to court.For the Chinese, going to court is not a trivial matter.Westerners believe that, no matter what, reporting to officials is a reckless act, but Chinese people are not. Angry Chinese people will be furious, lose control, and finally sue the other party to the government office for punishment.There is a saying in China: "Don't become a thief if you die of starvation, and don't sue when you die of anger." It is a trivial matter for Westerners to have their dog beaten to death.However, a Chinese immigrant once wanted to sue others in court because of a dog.Ask him how much a dog is, as for?He replied: "Whether it's worth the money or not, he's gone too far, and I have to demand compensation!" However, Western courts don't bother to deal with such things even if they collect money.In China, however, this kind of thing can cause neither side to get along well, and at worst, the two sides will become feuds.But the Chinese will always find some intercessors to mediate during a lawsuit.The role of these mediators is very great. There are many unnecessary lawsuits, which have avoided the judgment of the Yamen and closed the cases in advance.I have heard of a small village that has not had any disputes to the point of reporting to officials for decades, because there is a person in the village who works in the county government, and he has virtually restricted the occurrence of reporting to officials.

If every country is a social machine, then China is the one with the most complicated parts, but it runs very smoothly, without the harsh sound of gears grinding, and it has not been damaged due to pressure.China's political system is like a human body, with blood vessels extending in all directions, and the flowing blood will quickly replenish where it is needed, making that place full of vitality.Every peace-loving Chinese is such a drop of blood. Although the legal system is not perfect, they still abide by the law and try their best to maintain peace.

Perhaps the Chinese will be the most assimilable of all the peoples of Asia if they can find a way to get used to them.Although China's civilization is much inferior to that of many countries, the Chinese society driven by such a civilization is the most able to bear the pressure. No matter how much pressure, it has not led to the collapse of the Chinese nation.And the "persuading people" who maintained all this contributed the most.

(End of this chapter)