Chinese virtue

Chapter 31
Everyone knows that if you want to survive in this society, you must build trust with each other.In a country with a complex social structure like China, mutual trust is even more important.But in fact, the Chinese are people who are suspicious of each other.This phenomenon is not common in Western countries, so we need to pay special attention.

What we call mutual suspicion is a characteristic of almost every Eastern people, and there is nothing special about it.But Chinese "suspicion" takes a completely different form from that of other countries.The Chinese believe that once you know something you shouldn't know, you will cause a lot of trouble, so "suspect" will arise.The same is true of other nations.

The city walls in various regions can best show the "suspiciousness" of the Chinese people.In Chinese, the word "city" refers to a walled area.This has the same deep meaning as "army" in Latin means drill.Chinese law stipulates that there must be walls around cities.However, this regulation was not strictly implemented. People turned a blind eye to the collapse and damage of the city wall, and there were no protective measures for the city wall.During the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom Uprising, a city was occupied by the Taiping Army, and most of the city walls collapsed. Until more than ten years later, it still remained the same.There are many cities whose walls are only made of mud, so thin and low that people and dogs can easily walk over them.Through this, we can fully see the poverty and decay of a country.Once a war broke out, the first thing to do was to repair the city wall, so local officials and local nouveau riche had a new way to plunder and embezzle.

Why are there so many city walls in China?Because the government doesn't trust the people.Although the emperor is the head of the subjects and the father of the subjects, and the officials always regard themselves as the "parents" of the city, people understand that this is just a way of saying, just like addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.In fact, the relationship between the monarch, ministers, and people is more like the relationship between stepfather and son.In fact, there have been many peasant uprisings in Chinese history, and the government can completely avoid them as long as some appropriate measures are taken.But the government did not do this, maybe it was embarrassing, maybe it didn't have time to take measures, or the government simply didn't want to.As a result, the uprising broke out. At this time, all government officials would hide in the previously prepared defensive circle, like a tortoise retracted into its shell, and let the army suppress the uprising peasants.

Like cities in eastern countries, Chinese people also have walls or fences around their residences, which is another manifestation of Chinese "mutual suspicion".It is very difficult for the Chinese to understand that there are no protective measures around the residences of Westerners. When a Chinese is mentioned to a Chinese that cities such as London and New York are "cities without walls", the Chinese will be surprised. It is groundless to think that there are very few bad people in those countries, so there is no need for walls.

Another place that can illustrate the phenomenon of "mutual suspicion" among Chinese people is China's rural areas.These rural people generally live in one place crowded together.It can be said that the countryside is a miniature version of the city. These groups of people live together not to defend against external threats, but to keep an eye on each other and defend each other.Only in some particularly barren mountainous areas, this situation will not happen, because that place is too poor, and there is not much land, and there are only a few scattered families living there.Because of poverty, they are not afraid of thieves to steal.Mr. Bedrue, the British general at that time, once mentioned a certain place in Sichuan Province and said: "The peasants and hired workers live in farmhouses in the sky, separated from each other, and do not gather together." German traveler Baron Richthofen Said that the reason why these people did not gather together to guard against each other was because they were too eager for peace.If it is true what Baron Richthofen said, it means that Mr. Bedrue's view is correct.This longing has gone through too much heartache and disappointment, especially during the Taiping Rebellion.Although there have been long periods of peace.

The attitude of the Chinese towards women is the most important example in real life of the characteristic of "mutual suspicion".People always say one thing about women, but think another thing in their hearts. We are all very familiar with this, so I won't take up space to repeat it.Once Chinese women reach puberty, they become dangerous commodities like "illegal salt".If they were engaged, they would spend less and less time outside the house, and they would have to be more careful about what they did, lest they provoke gossip.There is a common saying that is very correct, that is, "there is a lot of gossip at the widow's door".Although women in China are free compared to India and Turkey, the Chinese still do not respect women: Chinese women cannot study; Chinese women are men's appendages; Chinese women have no status, etc.China is a polygamous country, and this system itself is a manifestation of disrespect for women.In contrast, an important feature of Western civilization is respect for women.There are many sayings about women in China, most of which are bad, and we can hear them everywhere.Describing women as generally short-sighted, untrustworthy, and jealous.The pronunciation of "jealousy" can easily make people think of "poison".So there is such a poem: The green bamboo has a snake's mouth, and the wasp's tail has a needle.Both are acceptable, the most poisonous woman's heart.

Discrimination against women is also expressed in some Chinese literary works.These literary works can often attract people's attention.I asked a Chinese scholar for some knowledge about characters, and found that only 130 of the more than 35 commonly used characters next to the word "female" are commendatory words, such as "good", "miao", etc., while 80 of them are derogatory words. There are more than [-] neutral words.These derogatory words have a common feature, that is, they contain the most vicious and shameless meanings in Chinese.For example, jealousy, slavery, adultery, etc., are all deceitful, despicable, disloyal, and lowly meanings; the three female characters together express even more dirty meanings, such as "adultery, adultery" and so on.

People say that there are two possibilities for not trusting others: one is because you don't know the other person, and the other is because you know the other person too well.For these two different reasons, the Chinese also have different ways of coping.Chinese people are inherently able to associate with each other like chemical molecules.But as time goes by, we realize that they don't trust each other and express it in a very restrained way.For example, the daughter-in-law at home, they will easily stir up suspicion among family members. In order to get more property, they will try their best to stir up conflicts between their husbands and the family.

I won't go into too much detail about the family life of the Chinese people, and those things may not be explained clearly in a chapter.Let's briefly talk about people with less complicated family structures. "Servants" are also servants who work in wealthy families, but if they are not introduced by their partners, they will always maintain a "warning line" between each other.If a servant has some bad rumors that the master knows, the first thing the servant thinks is not how the master knows, but "who told the master".Even though he knew that there was a lot of evidence against him, he still stubbornly believed that someone was suing and trying to exclude him.There is such a Chinese woman, once, when she heard someone talking in the yard, she immediately changed her face and rushed into the yard, thinking that the two people were talking about her behind her back.It turned out that the two parties in the conversation were haggling over a pile of straw.

If a servant is dismissed by his boss, he will be very angry and suspicious of everyone but himself. He thinks that everyone but himself may be the one who speaks ill of him behind his back, so he insists on knowing why he was dismissed. fired.Even if he knew that he was fired for a reason, maybe it was laziness, maybe it was something else, but he didn't care, he felt that he had to save "face" and find the person who said bad things about him.Such things often happen in Chinese families, and similar things may happen if foreigners hire Chinese servants, but the servants may not be too violent, because the servants know that Chinese masters are more difficult than foreign masters much.Chinese servants know how to take advantage of the goodwill of foreigners, and there are many foreigners who still employ Chinese servants who should have been fired long ago.

The foreigner knows in his heart that if he is fired, the other servants will also be suspected, and finally annoy a lot of servants, like stabbing a hornet's nest.Therefore, foreigners dare not dismiss servants hastily, for fear of causing big trouble.

There is an Austrian story: In the Middle Ages, a certain Austrian city was besieged by the Turkish army. When the city was about to be breached, an Austrian girl overturned the beehive on the wall, and the bee swarms that flew out stung the Turkish soldiers who attacked the city. Retreat and keep the city.And the resourcefulness of the Chinese is similar to that of the Austrian girl. For the Chinese, success is just a sign, just like a professor who taught Latin said: "Storms are always more effective than warnings of storms." It’s frightening.” Chinese people deal with riots like storms.There is an old saying in China that goes, "Employ people with no doubts, and doubt those with doubts."It is very philosophical. When Chinese people face that situation, they will turn a blind eye and pretend not to see it, but foreigners can't do it.

Every parent should let their children remember: When going out alone, don't trust strangers easily.The Chinese don't use it, because their children understand this truth from birth.

There is a saying in China that makes it difficult for me to understand, "If one person does not enter the temple, two people will not peep into the well." When I was looking for an answer, I got this answer. When a person enters the temple, the monk may seek money and kill himself!And if two people look into the well, one will take the opportunity to push the other into the well.Perhaps the two are in a debt relationship, or one covets something that the other has.

There are also some small examples of mutual suspicion in daily life.In the West, what is advocated is freedom, so there is no phenomenon of suppression anywhere.In China, however, there is oppression everywhere, and there is no freedom at all.For Westerners, it is the best way to figure out the whole story and deal with the problem in a simple and direct way.But in China, everything has to be carefully thought out.Especially when it comes to "money" and "food", which are two things that are related to the lifeline of the Chinese people, more attention should be paid.The Chinese don't believe in putting a sum of money into the hands of another person, and that person will distribute the money to others without leaving a kickback.Because he had deducted a lot of money privately when he had distributed it.This kind of thing is completely invisible on the surface, and people have no dissatisfaction.But that doesn't mean these people aren't suspicious of each other.In fact, the Chinese regard the "heart of suspicion" as the friction of the gears in the machine, and it is impossible for people to completely trust each other.Foreigners, on the other hand, consider mutual suspicion to be a very serious problem.

Waiters in Chinese restaurants have a habit of yelling out the amount of money that customers pay, and this is not to compliment the guests for their extravagant spending.Rather, the waiter in the shop wanted others to know that he did not take tips from the guests, or deducted a little bit of wine money privately, although the waiter in the shop really hoped that the guests would give some tips.

If a matter needs to be re-decided, the Chinese will not be able to solve it with a letter like Westerners.They will visit the person in charge in person. If the person in charge is not at home, he will visit another day until they see each other.They don't trust intermediaries because they feel that going through them will distort things.

The unity of the Chinese is often the talk of the people.Sometimes, one person's affairs are likely to be interfered by the whole family or even the family.At this time, people with foreign surnames will be very careful about their words and deeds to avoid things affecting themselves.There is a very good Chinese adage "different surnames, don't persuade each other".Chinese people generally believe that if other people are involved in their affairs, they must have bad intentions or some purpose.Not to mention outsiders who have nothing to do with each other, even neighbors and friends around them, they will treat them like this.

"Outside" in Chinese characters has many meanings, and different occasions have different meanings.Westerners come from "foreign" countries, so they are not welcome; people in other villages are from "foreign" villages, so people in this village are very indifferent to him.If there is a person, no one knows where he is from, and he refuses to say, it will cause trouble.Because the Chinese may think: "He must have some dark secret."

If a traveler takes the wrong road and arrives in a small village at dark, he will find that there is no one to show him the way.I got lost once, and I couldn't get out by myself for several hours, so I wanted to ask someone to lead the way, but the person left before I could finish my sentence.

Foreigners can't stand Chinese students because they read the text very loudly in class. This habit will seriously damage their vocal organs, but they don't care.To them, it's "tradition".If they have to ask for a result, they will answer. Only by reading aloud can the teacher know that they are studying hard.And when they recite the text, they have to turn their backs to the teacher, the purpose is to let the teacher know that they are not secretly reading.

Every culture is different, and some civilizations don't recommend entertaining strangers.Solomon's maxim about being cautious with strangers takes on new meaning in contact with Orientals.For the cautiousness of the Chinese, other nations may never be able to surpass it.A foreigner hired a Chinese teacher, hoping that he could help him collect Chinese nursery rhymes. Once, the teacher heard a nursery rhyme that he had never heard before, because the little boy could not sing it clearly, so the teacher wanted him to read it again. It was sung in its entirety, and the child was scared away and never reappeared.The little boy's behavior can be said to be a representative of Chinese "cautious".A mentally ill person went missing, and his friends searched everywhere, hoping to get his whereabouts.Although his friends also know, it is likely to be futile.If someone claims to have seen this person, then this person leaves again.Immediately his friend would ask, "What were you doing?" and the trouble would start.Therefore, when dealing with strangers for questioning, the safest way is to ask three questions.

A stranger who wants to find a familiar person will encounter the same situation as above. This is what we have experienced.Once, a man from other provinces went to a small village to look for a famous person. As a result, the people in the small village said that they did not know this person, or even heard the name of this person, which made him very disappointed.This collective lying behavior is not deliberately arranged, but an instinct. The whole village instinctively wants to avoid trouble, just like a mouse will immediately go back into a hole when it is frightened.

The standard for Chinese people to distinguish whether they are locals is very simple, as long as they say hello.

(End of this chapter)