120 philosophical essays you must read in your life

Chapter 92

Chapter 5 Section 13 Friendship

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The ancients said a very philosophical and direct saying, that is, those who live alone are either gods or beasts.This sentence expresses the fact that truth and falsehood are confused.If a person breaks away from society and is willing to escape into the mountains and forests to be with wild beasts, then he can only be regarded as a wild beast rather than a god.Although there are people who do this as if to seek a higher life outside society, ancient Normans, Epimendis, Epicras, Apollonius were such people.

Some people choose to be alone, not because he is naturally willing to live this kind of life, but because he has never lived in a company full of friendship and kindness, and that kind of depression is just like an ancient Latin proverb: "A city is like a wilderness. "People's face is as light as a pattern, and people's language is just a piece of noise, which makes people choose loneliness.

From this, it is not difficult to see how much friendship occupies in life.Those who do not get friendship will be poor lonely people for life.A society without friendship is just a prosperous desert.Therefore, the nature of the person who is happy to be alone may be closer to that of a beast.

When you encounter unsatisfactory, unsatisfactory, depressed and hesitant, if you pour out your sadness to your friends, then your bad mood will be relieved.Otherwise, this kind of depression will make people sick.It is said in medicine: "Shashapara" can clear the liver qi; magnet powder can clear the temper; sulfur powder can clear the lung energy; castore gum can treat dizziness.But apart from a bosom friend, there is no drug that can ease the depression of the soul.Only in the presence of your best friends can you pour out your sorrows and joys, fears and hopes, suspicions and comforts.In short, everything that weighs heavily on your heart is shared on the shoulders of friendship.

It is for this reason that even many high-ranking kings cannot live without friendship.So many would rather lower their status to pursue it.

According to the principle that friendship requires equality, the king cannot enjoy friendship, because the status gap between the king and his subjects is too great.As a result, many kings had to promote their favorites as "favorites" or "close servants". The purpose of doing so was to seek friendship. The Romans called such people "the king's worries".This appellation aptly expresses their role.In fact, not only those kings who were weak and sensitive did this, but many kings who were strong and wise also took a similar method.In order to form this relationship, they need to try to forget that they are a king.

Sulla, the great dictator of Rome, had made friends with his subordinate Pompey, so that he once tolerated Pompey's verbal offense for this reason.Pompey once boasted to his face: "There are naturally more people who worship the rising sun than those who worship the setting sun." The great Caesar also made a close friend with Brutus and made him one of his heirs. Caesar fell into a trap and was murdered.No wonder Antony later called Brutus a "demon," as if his charm to seduce Caesar came from a kind of sorcery...

Pythagoras said such a meaningful sentence: "Don't hurt your heart." Indeed, if a person has something on his mind but cannot tell his friends, then he must hurt his heart.In fact, one of the strange effects of friendship is that if you tell a friend your happiness, you will get two happiness; if you pour out your sorrow to a friend, you will get half the sorrow.So friendship is really like the "philosopher" that alchemists are looking for in life.It doubles gold and turns black iron into gold.In fact, this is also a very natural law.In nature, substances can be enhanced by combining.The same rule applies to friendship.

In fact, friendship can not only adjust feelings, because friendship can not only make people get out of the stormy emotional world and enter the gentle spring, but also can make people get rid of dark and chaotic thoughts and enter into bright and rational thinking.Not only because a friend can give you advice, but any kind of calm discussion can bring order to the mess that is troubling your mind.When man puts into words an idea, he gradually sees the consequences they may have.Someone once said to the King of Persia, "Thoughts are a rolled tapestry, but words are an open tapestry." So sometimes an hour's knee-to-neck conversation with a friend can be more inspiring than a whole day's meditation. clever.

If your friends can't give you a piece of advice, they can also increase your knowledge and enlighten you through communicating with them.Discussion is like a whetstone, and thoughts are like sharp edges. Two-phase sharpening will make thoughts sharper.It is good for a man to pour out an idea even to a statue, than to lock it up in his heart.

Heraclitus once said: "The initial light is the brightest." But in fact, the light of reason produced by a person is often affected by feelings, habits, and prejudices and is not so bright.As the saying goes: "People are always willing to keep the greatest flattery for themselves." The harsh advice from friends is the best cure for this problem.Advice can be given from two aspects between friends, conduct is on the one hand, and career is on the other.

As far as the former is concerned, the good advice of a friend is the best medicine.Many great men in history often did wrong things that they regretted because they could not listen to their friends' advice at critical moments.Of course you can remind yourself what problems you should pay attention to, but after all, as St. James said: "Although you have looked in the mirror, you have forgotten the original image."

Several theories prevail, one that one pair of eyes does not necessarily see less than two pairs of eyes, the second that an angry man is not necessarily less intelligent than a silent man, or that a musket is no matter whether it is resting on one's shoulder Put it on, or put it on a stand, it will be just as accurate.In short, I think the result is the same with or without the help of others.But these words are actually very proud and stupid statements.When listening to opinions, some people like to ask this person for a while, and then ask that person for a while.It's certainly better than not asking anyone.But also be aware that there are two downsides to getting an opinion or advice in this situation.It is this kind of piecemeal opinion that may be some irresponsible views.For the best advice comes only from honest and impartial friends.The second is that the opinions from these different sources may also contradict each other, making you in a dilemma, not knowing which suggestion to follow.For example, when you seek medical treatment for a disease, the doctor knows how to treat the disease but does not understand your physical condition. After taking his medicine, although the disease is cured, you develop another new disease.So the most reliable advice can only come from friends who know your career best.

In fact, the benefits of friendship are far more than these, many times more than that, it can be said that there are as many as the nuts on a pomegranate, it is difficult to count them one by one.If it must be said, it can only be said in this way: You can see the benefits of friendship when you only consider how many things in a man's life he cannot do by himself.So the ancients said: a friend is a person's second "I".Actually it's not accurate enough, because the second "I" plays a much lower role than the friends.

What a person can do in a lifetime is extremely limited, and many people die before completing what they think they should do, leaving behind regrets.And this regret can be replaced by a friend, so a good friend actually gives you another life.How many things in life are inconvenient for a person to do by himself.For example, in order to avoid the suspicion of boasting, it is difficult for people to tell their own achievements by themselves.People's self-esteem makes them unable to let go of their airs and beg others, but if there is a reliable and loyal friend, most of these things can be solved easily.Another example is that in front of your son, you have to maintain your identity as a father, and in front of your wife, you have to consider your face as a man; in front of your enemy, you have to maintain your dignity, but a friend as a third party can completely ignore this. Everything, and discuss the facts and seek truth from facts to stand up for you and uphold justice.

From the above discussion, it is not difficult to see how important friendship occupies in a person's life, and its benefits are simply endless.All in all, when a person is in danger, if he does not have any trustworthy friends in his life, then his life will not be happy, nor will he be happy.

【Together with you】

Friendship pays attention to the background: the friendship obtained in good times is often false friendship; the friendship obtained in adversity must be true friendship.

Just remember: there is neither love without reason nor hate without reason.

Therefore, there is a difference between true and false friendship.As soon as the false friendship comes to a critical moment, it will show its flaws.The ancient Roman philosopher Epictetus said very vividly: "You will never say that there is no friendlier than this when you see puppies caressing and playing with each other? Just throw a piece of meat between them, and you can Know what their friendship really is."

Maybe marriage means a contract between each other, but friendship is a marriage without a contract. It means mutual self-evident rights and responsibilities.

Not all people can get friendship, and some people don't get it in their life.Politicians and profiteers have only eternal interests, but no eternal friendship at all.

Only those who are kind, simple and noble in heart can have lasting friendship.Two people who do bad things together can also form a friendship, but this is a deformed friendship.True friendship means the sublimation of each other's hearts and the promotion of career, rather than turning two people into grasshoppers tied to the same line.

Friendship is both mutual understanding and mutual correction.Don't say "yes" or "no" to your friends easily.However, when a friend pours out his heart to you, don't be afraid to speak out what is right and wrong in your heart.When he is silent, you have to use your heart to listen to his heart language.

It is best to keep a proper distance between friends.Because the wings of birds are also on both sides, and even the strings on the lyre have their own positions, although they sing in the same melody.There is a proverb in the West: "There is a fence to make a good neighbor."

Several hedgehogs who are protected from the severe cold will stab each other if they snuggle too close. Only by keeping a proper distance can they be comfortable.

Friendship is premised on recognizing the independent existence of the other party.

Let's give each other good food without using the same pair of chopsticks.

Let's give each other warmth without wearing the same pair of pants.

In friendship, without words, all thoughts, all desires, all hopes are born and shared with silent joy.

(End of this chapter)