sex and marriage

Chapter 11 Taboo of sexual knowledge (1)
If we want to establish a new sexual morality, we must first ask ourselves the question: How should we define the relationship between the sexes?Is it right that men, women and children are artificially ignorant of the facts about sex?The reason why I raise this question first is that ignorance in this area is extremely harmful to individuals, and it is impossible for a system to be maintained on such ignorance.This is the point I want the reader to understand in this chapter.I believe that sexual morality can only be accepted by those who understand these principles, and that its appeal must not depend on ignorance.This is a reasonable doctrine, and although it has never been advocated by the government and the police, it is beyond doubt.It is the doctrine that right conduct is never promoted by ignorance nor hindered by knowledge, except in a few incidents.For example, if Party A wants Party B to act in accordance with his interests instead of Party B's interests, then Party A conceals those facts that would allow Party B to know where Party A's real interests lie.This is very useful for Party A.This practice is understandable on the stock exchange, but generally speaking it is not considered high morality.The government also tends to hide most of the facts about its activities from the public in its own interest.Every government, for example, forbids the announcement of a war defeat, which, if revealed, could lead to the downfall of the government.While it is in the people's interest to know this fact, it is not in the government's interest.In general, keeping silent about sexual facts is in a different category, but fundamentally, at least in part, with similar motives.

Initially, women were simply hoodwinked because it was hoped that their ignorance would contribute to male dominance.However, women have gradually become desensitized to this concept.The belief that ignorance is essential to morality.And, partly because of their influence, it came to be thought that children and young people, both men and women, should remain as ignorant as possible about sex.At this stage, people's motivation is no longer for the purpose of domination, but has entered the category of irrational taboo.The question of whether ignorance is desirable has never been studied, because it would be a violation of the law to prove that ignorance is harmful.I might as well use a few passages from the "Manchester Guardian" of April 1929, 4 as a reference for exploring this issue:
American Liberals are appalled by the outcome of the trial of Mrs. Mary Weir Dennett.Mrs Dennett was found guilty yesterday by a Commonwealth, Brooklyn jury of mailing obscene books.Mrs. Dennett is the author of a highly regarded and widely circulated pamphlet.This booklet addresses the simple facts about sex that kids should know, in no-nonsense language.For this, she may be sentenced to 5 years in prison.or a $5000 fine, or both.

Mrs. Dennett is a well-known social worker with two grown sons. 11 years ago, she wrote this booklet to educate her children.It was first published in a medical journal, and then a booklet was published at the invitation of the editor.The pamphlet has been endorsed by dozens of eminent physicians, priests, and sociologists, and thousands of copies have been distributed by the Young Men's Christian Association and the Young Women's Christian Association.The booklet was also tested in Bronxville City Schools in suburban New York.

The federal judge, Warren B. Burrows, from New England, ignored the above facts and refused to testify for any of the prominent educators and physicians.In addition, he did everything possible to prevent the jury from hearing the praise of Mrs. Dennett's book from famous authors.In fact, the trial was nothing more than a reading of the pamphlet to a jury of married elderly men in Brooklyn who had been chosen only because they had never had access to H. L. Gates. Works by Ken or Havelock Ellis.

The New York World is clearly right.It says that if the publication of Mrs. Dennett's book is discontinued, we have no hope of presenting clear and honest language to the presentation of sexual fact before the youth of America.The case will be brought to a higher court, and its final decision will be awaited with great interest.

Although this happened in the United States, it may also happen in the United Kingdom, because the laws in the United Kingdom are actually similar to those in the United States.It will then be seen that English law will not allow those who communicate sexual information to young people to present expert arguments that knowledge of sex is necessary for young people.Also, once there is such an indictment, the prosecutor will have the audacity to demand that all jurors should be idiots--idiots who have not read anything that would make them judge the case rationally.The laws of England bluntly declare that children and youth must never know the facts of sex: whether it is beneficial or harmful for them to know them is a matter of indifference.However, we are not in court now, and my book is not written for children, so we can discuss whether the behavior of blinding children in the past should or should not have happened.

Traditionally, parents and teachers have tried to blind their children.Children never see their parents naked, and at an early age (as long as the housing is spacious) it is difficult for them to see their brothers or sisters of the opposite sex naked.They were told not to fondle or talk about their genitals.Once it comes to sexual issues, they are sternly reprimanded by their parents.All they could learn was that children were brought by storks or dug out from under gooseberry trees.

Of course, sooner or later they learn from the other kids that this isn't the case, and those things often take a twisted form.Because of parental discipline, children consider such things "dirty" and are always whispered to them.So they think that the behavior between parents is shameful and unspeakable, because parents always try their best to cover it up.And they know that those who could have taught them are also deliberately deceiving them.Their attitudes toward parents, marriage, and the opposite sex are thus irreparably badly cast.

Few of the traditionally educated young men and women have a noble feeling for sex and marriage.They have been taught that cheating and lying are virtues in the eyes of their parents and teachers; that all sexual relations (including marriage) are abhorrent; What women obey is their painful duty.Marriage is made unpleasant to both men and women by this distorted conception, and instincts of dissatisfaction are transformed into brutality disguised as morality.

It seems to me that the orthodox moralist's conception of sexual knowledge goes something like this:

The sexual drive is an instinctive and powerful drive that takes different forms at different stages of development.In infancy, the sexual drive takes the form of fondling certain parts of the body; in later childhood, the sexual drive takes the form of curiosity and a preference for "dirty" words; in adolescence, the sexual drive takes the form of a more mature Way.Undoubtedly, sexual thoughts inevitably lead to sexual misconduct, and therefore the shortest way to achieve morality is to detach the young man's body and mind from everything that has to do with sex.So we must never talk to them about anything sexual; we must do everything we can to prevent them from talking about these issues with each other, and adults must pretend that such topics do not exist in the world.Use this method to deceive a girl.And it is possible to be blinded until the wedding night in the bridal chamber.It was quite predictable that those facts would shock her so much that they would exhibit the sexual attitudes that all orthodox moralists believe a woman should have.With boys the problem is much more difficult, since we cannot hope to completely blind them beyond the age of eighteen or nineteen.It is proper for them to be warned that masturbation will inevitably lead to insanity, and intercourse with a prostitute will inevitably lead to vexation.The above two assumptions, though not true, are a kind of harmless lie, since they are made up for the sake of morality.We should also teach boys that they should not talk about sex on any occasion, not even after marriage.This would increase the likelihood that, when married, he would make his wife sexually repulsive and thus prevent her from engaging in inappropriate behavior.In addition, sex outside of marriage is a sin; sex within marriage is not a sin, because it is necessary for reproduction, but it is also an inappropriate responsibility for human beings, and it is God's punishment for the fall of human beings.It is the same state of mind that a person undergoes when undergoing surgery.Unfortunately, unless we are in great pain, sex is always associated with pleasure.But it can be prevented, at least among women, with adequate moral education.In England it is illegal to state in print that a wife can and should derive pleasure from intercourse (I have heard of a book charged in court with obscenity for this very reason).All in all, the ideas stated above determine the attitudes towards sex of the law, the Church, and those who educate the young conservatively.

Before discussing the influence of this attitude in the sexual sphere, I should say a few words about its influence in other respects.I think the first and biggest consequence is that it dampens scientific curiosity among young people.Every child of normal intelligence wants to know everything in the world, and they often ask questions about trains, automobiles, and airplanes, and where the rain comes from and where children come from.All this curiosity is exactly the same for the child, based on nothing but the reflex "what is this," which Pavlov calls, but which is the source of all scientific knowledge.When a child, in his quest for knowledge, realizes that this impulse is in some respects considered a sin, all his impulses to scientific curiosity are repressed, and he does not know at all what kind of curiosity he should have, Which should not have.Children will come to the idea that since it is a sin to ask how children are born, it must also be a sin to ask how airplanes are made.He would, of course, have come to the conclusion that scientific curiosity is a dangerous impulse that must be repressed before one seeks to know anything.Do seriously ask whether such knowledge is evil or moral.Since children's sexual curiosity is so strong, it must be concluded that the desired knowledge is evil, and the only moral knowledge is that which is not desired, such as the multiplication table.The quest for knowledge, which is an instinctive impulse in all healthy children, is thereby destroyed, and as a result the child is artificially made an idiot.It is undeniable that traditionally educated women are generally more stupid than men.And I also believe that this is mainly due to the fact that their desire for sexual knowledge is more effectively blocked when they are young.

In addition to this intellectual loss, presumably we also have a very serious moral loss.As Freud first pointed out, and as anyone who has had contact with children will soon discover, children generally do not believe in the myth of the stork and the gooseberry.As a result, children will come to a conclusion: parents are lying to us.Since parents can lie about one thing, they must lie about another, and in the long run, their moral and intellectual prestige is gone.Also, because parents can lie about sexual matters.Children will think: We can also lie about sexual matters in the same way.So, they talked about sex with each other, and even masturbated secretly.Thus they get into the habit of deceiving and concealing, and because of the intimidation of their parents, their lives are always filled with suspicion and fear.According to psychological analysis, whether it is a child or an adult, if parents or nanny point out the bad consequences of masturbation, it is likely to cause them insanity.

Therefore, the traditional approach to the human nature of young people will make a considerable number of people suffer from mental illness or similar psychological disorders, and also make people ignorant, hypocritical and timid.

Although this fact has been admitted to some extent by all wise men who have had contact with youth.Yet, as the case cited at the beginning of this chapter shows: the law and those who enforce it are ignorant of these facts.So the current situation is that everyone who has enough knowledge about sex yet has to deal with children.A choice must be made: either break the law; or inflict irreparable moral and intellectual damage on the children for whom he is responsible.Legal reform is difficult because many older people have gone astray and their interest in sex is based only on the belief that sex is evil and dirty.I think there is no hope of reform until those old and middle-aged people are dead.

(End of this chapter)