sex and marriage

Chapter 4
Malinowski believes that when a man can accompany his wife to conceive and give birth, he will have an instinctive tendency to love the newborn, which is the source of father's emotion.I think his point of view is correct."The human connection to the father," he says, "although initially almost completely absent from a biological standpoint, is deeply ingrained in natural endowments and survival needs." If he is not with his wife when she is pregnant, then he will not develop a feeling for his child according to his own instinct, although national customs and moral constraints can make him get close to his wife and child, and have a good relationship with the child. To produce the kind of affection he had with his wife.In all important human relations those conducts which are socially desirable--instinctive though not always compulsive--are those which social morality prompts, Even among barbaric peoples there is no exception.The husband of the child's mother should protect and take care of the children until they are minors-this is a rule in line with human instinct, so it is not difficult to implement.

I think the instinct that Malinowski speaks of when he explains the Melanesian child's affection for his father is more general than the instinct he speaks of in his books.This, I think, is due to a tendency in either man or woman to love the children he or she has to rear.Even though custom or wages alone enable a man to care for his children, it is the very fact of this care that is the main factor in the generation of paternity.There is no doubt that for a man the feeling goes on and on if it is the child of a woman he loves.From this it follows that the disinterestedness which savages manifest toward their wives and children is no doubt a chief ingredient in the affection civilized men have toward their children.Malinowski thinks that all mankind must have lived through the life that the Trobriand Islanders have now, because any people has undoubtedly lived through a time when they did not know their father.And he thinks this argument is hard to overturn.Animals, though they have fathers, must have the same cause, for they cannot have any other.We know the fact of the existence of the father only among human beings, because the expression of the father's affection has taken the form to which we are now accustomed.

paternal dominion
The knowledge of the biological facts of the father adds a whole new element to the paternal affection which is the basis of all patriarchal ages.As a father, once he understands that the child is his own "seed" as the Bible says, his attachment to the child will be deeper. There are two main factors at work: love of power and life continuity desire.For the latter, his child's success is in a sense his success, and his child's life is the continuation of his life.The cause of mankind will not end with his death, but can continue to move forward through the struggle of his descendants.For example, Abraham was relieved when he learned that his descendants would receive the land of Canaan.In matriarchal clans, women were in charge of family affairs, but since women could not hunt or fight, family affairs were less authoritative than men's.Therefore, we can imagine that the discovery of patriarchy made human society more competitive and more authoritative than in the era of matriarchy.More spiritual and more predatory.In addition to this somewhat hypothetical result, there is a novel and quite special factor—a focus on the morality of the wife.There is not as much of a purely instinctive element in jealousy as most modern people imagine.In a patriarchal society, the most potent expression of envy is worry about a child's legitimacy.This is confirmed by the following example: If a man hates his wife and loves his mistress passionately, he will be far less jealous when he finds out that another man loves his mistress too. As intense as when I found out my wife was having an affair.A legitimate child is a continuation of one's own life, and his affection for the child is an expression of egoism.On the other hand, if the child is illegitimate, the nominal father is duped into indiscriminately exercising his filial affection on a child not related to him by blood.Thus, the discovery of patriarchy leads to the subordination of women.This affiliation was at first physical, then spiritual, reaching its culmination in the Victorian era.This is the only means of guaranteeing a woman's morality.Because of this subordination of women, in most civilized societies there can be no true conjugal affection between husband and wife; the relationship between husband and wife is one of master and subordinate on the one hand, and one of responsibility on the other. .All the important thoughts and wills of a man belong to him alone, because a sound mind would lead his wife to betray him.In most civilized societies women are almost completely deprived of experience of the world and of everything.They are artificially fooled into being indifferent to everything.

From Plato's dialogues we get the impression that he and his friends always regarded man as the only legitimate object of true love.There can be no doubt about it, since even the noble Athenian women were utterly ignorant of all that men were interested in.In China, similar situations are more common, even now.The same thing happened in Persia, even in the greatest age of Persian poetry, and in other ages and regions.The pure love between a man and a woman is overrun by the desire to ensure the legitimacy of the child.Not only love is destroyed, but all the contributions that women can make to culture are frustrated for the same reason.

Of course, the economic institutions of a society change as a result of changes in the way people view future generations.In a matrilineal clan, one inherits from his uncle; in a patrilineal society, one inherits from his father.In a patrilineal society, the relationship between father and son is closer than any relationship between males that exists in a matrilineal society.As we know, the rights that we think should belong to the father are shared by the father and the uncle in the matrilineal clan, that is, the affection and support come from the father, and the power and property come from the uncle.Thus, the patriarchal family is a more closely related combination than the primitive family.

From this point of view, men's requirements for the bride's chastity can only appear after the establishment of the patriarchal system.In matriarchal societies, the young women are as wild as the young men, but when convincing women that all sex outside of marriage is sinful becomes a matter of vital importance, one cannot Tolerate such debauchery.

Once fathers wake up to the fact that patriarchy exists, they begin to exert their power to the fullest.But the history of civilization is primarily a record of the gradual loss of patriarchy, since in most civilized countries patriarchy reached its culmination long before recorded history.

Even now, in China and Japan, there is still the blind worship of ancestors, which is a common feature of ancient cultures.A father has absolute authority over his children, which sometimes extends to life and death, as was the case in Rome.Throughout the civilized world, daughters, and in many countries sons also, cannot marry without the consent of their father.It was usually the father alone who decided whom they should marry.As a woman, there was never a period in her life when she was independent.It belongs to her father before marriage and to her husband after marriage.Of course, an elderly woman has almost despotic power in the family: her son and daughter-in-law live with her, and her daughter-in-law is completely subordinate to her.In China, until now we can still hear the tragedy of a young daughter-in-law committing suicide due to the abuse of her mother-in-law.In fact, the phenomenon that existed in China was quite common in various civilized countries in Europe and Asia.When Christ said that he came to turn the son against the tyranny of the father, and the daughter-in-law against the tyranny of the mother-in-law, he was referring to the kind of family we see in the Far East.This power, first acquired by the father through his great strength, was all the more strengthened by religion, for most religions held that God was on the side of the ruler of the state.Ancestor worship, or something similar, is prevalent everywhere.

As we have seen, the religious thought of Christianity is full of fatherly majesty.The monarchical and aristocratic organization of society, as well as the system of succession, are based on patriarchy.The ancient economic foundation is to maintain this system.In Genesis we see how much the people desired to have many children, and what an honor it was to them when they did.The reproduction of offspring is as beneficial as the reproduction of cattle and sheep.This is why Jehovah counseled people to reproduce.

With the progress of social civilization and the change of economic conditions, people began to cast aside the selfish concept formed before.For example, after Rome prospered, those nobles no longer had a full house of children and grandchildren.The original aristocracy continued to dwindle in spite of the exhortations of moralists, whose exhortations were then as unacceptable as they are now.Since then, divorce has become an easy and common thing; upper-class women have gained a near-equal status with men, and patriarchy has become weaker and weaker.Such a situation was in many ways very similar to ours today, but at the time it was limited to the upper class, and it was a marvelous feat for those too poor to benefit from it.The civilization of ancient times was very different from ours today. It was limited to a few nobles, so it was full of disasters.This is the danger of ancient civilization. From this we can see that although ancient civilization could exist, it was eventually defeated by the superstitious turmoil of the lower society.

The invasion of Christianity and barbarians led to the disintegration of the Greco-Roman ideology.The patriarchal system was still preserved and gained greater power than the Roman aristocracy.However, it also added something new, the Christian idea of ​​sex.And the kind of individualism that springs from Christian teachings about the soul and the salvation of souls.Today, no Christian society is as completely biological as the ancient and Far Eastern civilizations.In addition, individualism in Christian theology gradually influenced the politics of Christian countries.At the same time, the dream of personal immortality diminished the hope that men had placed in the existence of their descendants—a hope that had previously seemed to them very similar to the principle of personal immortality.

Although the modern society is still a patrilineal society, the family still exists, but compared with the ancient society, the emphasis on the relationship with the father is much less, and the role of the family is also weakened than before.Now, the hopes and aspirations of human beings are very different from those of the patriarchs in Genesis, because human beings now hope to achieve great things through their status in the country, not through having many children.This change in thinking is one of the reasons why traditional morality and traditional theology are not as strong as they used to be.But the change itself is really just a part of Christian theology.As for how this change came about, and how religion has affected human conceptions of marriage and family, these are questions that we must explore next.

(End of this chapter)