I'm Mrs.
Chapter 122 My heart has its own bright moon
Chapter 122 My heart has its own bright moon
Days go by day by day. In the beginning, I didn’t have time consciousness. It’s just that one day, I accidentally found that the blue tabletop I’ve been using all the time started to be mottled. That’s when I realized that when I first owned it, I was 12 years old. that summer vacation.
Maybe time will really dilute many things, but I still clearly remember that during the summer vacation that year, when I was in the hospital in Bincheng, I had to think about Uncle Shen’s unsolved headless case almost every day when I opened my eyes. My aunt found an empty place to analyze the situation of her parents together, and she was very anxious every day, thinking that if she couldn't figure it out, she would suffocate to death.
But as soon as he returned to Baishan Village, these things seemed to stay in the city with the sea forever along with the two railroad tracks that could not see the momentum.
In the beginning, when I was free, I would chat with my second aunt, and even when Xiao Liu asked me if I had seen Lu Xingyue in Bincheng, I would say a few words. Of course, I lied, I said I hadn't met him, The city is so big, it's so easy to see, because I don't want Xiao Liu to know how embarrassing I was when I fell.
When school started and life was on track, I just wanted to think about these things. I was very tired because I couldn't touch them, and it felt far away. I never dreamed about Uncle Shen again, and my mother still hasn't heard from her for a long time. , Dad is the same, I think, he should have gone abroad, my daughter, for them, maybe it is really dispensable.
The most unexpected thing is the relationship between me and Li Xue, because I can’t tell who took advantage of the pair of white leather shoes. She is happy about the consensual thing, and I am also happy to pick it up for two years. Leisurely, as the monitor of the elementary school, except for the desk, she has been conscientiously checking my homework in the most foolish way, and then arranged the most relaxing duty for me, and even became a seemingly good friend with me.
I have to emphasize, it just looks like, I really don’t like some of her styles, I always think of the thing that my grandma said about her shallow eyelids, she wants to be friends with me, I know, it’s because she knows I’m in college Having parents in the city may be a good condition in her eyes, otherwise I would not be able to have nice stationery and schoolbags.
Conservatively, during the two years when our relationship was good, she took away one of my pens, five or six oil pens with small plush toys, two hard-shell diaries with combination locks, and There are countless stickers, erasers, correction fluid...
Because although my mother didn’t come back, she would post things to me in the next few years. After I got it to school, if she liked it, she would keep touching it. I am a person who pays attention to equivalent exchange. If you like it, you can , Let's change, do I do my homework, or help me sweep the floor, I am relaxed, she is happy, so we are quite harmonious.
This relationship lasted until I graduated from elementary school, and it was not so smooth when I went to junior high school. The junior high school was in the town, and it took about half an hour to ride a bicycle. Her father asked her to live on campus, and I would rather spend a little time on the road to and from school than to die. Living in school, plus not being in the same class, the two-year friendship naturally parted ways, but it didn't mean that we met and didn't talk, and it was just neither salty nor salty, which was much better than the inexplicable hum when she saw me when I was a child.
Looking back, it's true that friendship based on material things is not worth scrutinizing.
And the reason why I don't live on campus is also very simple, I have to see my grandma every day, and another thing that is hard to explain is my body, sometimes you have to use the student bathhouse when you live on campus, it's okay in winter, but in summer who doesn't Washing, it’s inconvenient for me to take a shower, I don’t want to wash with everyone, and I don’t want everyone to know that I don’t have fine hair.
The issue of fine hair is a big problem for me. I even secretly asked if Mingyue had time to take me to the county to have a look. I was afraid that I might have some unknown disease. It's normal, although it's not as exaggerated as Li Xue's two water polos, but at least I observed that I was similar to most girls in the class, but when I accidentally saw their armpit hair when they raised their arms in summer... …
Looking at myself again, I immediately became nervous, and always felt that my excessive fairness was a disease that would kill me every minute.
"Oh, it's not a problem with you. I asked, white spots are not good, white spots are an advantage!"
On the contrary, Mingyue didn't look nervous for me when she saw my dad back then, "One hundred cover one hundred ugliness, this is what other little girls dream about!"
I was anxious, "It's not right for me to be white, and white can't help but grow fine hair. Aunt, do I have albinism?"
I remember that the surname Lu mentioned this disease, so when I realized that it might be a disease, I was really afraid of being hit by his crow's mouth!
Mingyue raised her eyebrows, "I asked about the illness. It's not that there is no hair, but the hair is also white! And the whole body, even the eye hair, and the hair are white, snow-white and snow-white. Look, except for the white skin, where is it?" picture."
I looked at her in disbelief, "I also have to dye my hair, once every six months."
"Tsk!"
That Mingyue dropped the work in her hand and looked at me, "Your one is gray, do you understand gray, it's not white hair, and that white hair is snow white, whiter than paper! Don't worry, your grandma said you That’s the fate, that’s how hard life is! Except for the fact that you will have to work hard to find a partner in the future, it will not delay you!”
I accept that my fate is hard, but I can't accept that I am too special, it makes me uncomfortable, and I am troubled, Xiao Liu came in from the door, and I don't know how much I eavesdropped, against the male duck in the voice-changing period Opened her mouth and said, "Mom, don't listen to her, fourth sister is showing off in disguise, you don't know how many people chase after her school, everyone says her only shortcoming is short hair, if it is longer, it will be perfect Yes, people gave her the nickname Seventh Middle School Xiaohua, and what to call her Whiterose..."
"go away!"
I interrupted him with a loud voice. This guy started to grow rapidly after the second year of junior high school. He looks as thin and tall as a big monkey. Kid has turned into a garrulous boy who likes to disassemble home appliances and play basketball and game consoles.
Although he has always boasted that he will be the Einstein of Baishan Village in the future, none of the things he dismantled can be reinstalled. Instead, he invented a solar-powered flashlight by brainstorming, but that thing is useless at all. It has to be used under the sun during the day, who is sick and still uses a flashlight during the day, which made the family panic for a while, as soon as he looked at the appliance for a few more times, Mingyue would immediately lock it with a chain, for fear of letting him Get scrapped!
After hearing that, Mingyue couldn't stop giggling, "What shredded pork? Witt shredded pork? What do you mean!"
Xiao Liu gave her an uneducated look, "It's just a white rose!"
That Mingyue curled her lips, "I don't like roses, I prick my hands with that thing!"
"Yes!"
Xiao Liu winked and looked at me, "Isn't it just pricking hands? My evaluation of my fourth sister is only six words, the northern girl, she is very tiger!"
"Xue Xiaoliu, you've got some patience, right?"
I glanced at him with a smile on my face, then turned to look at Mingyue, "Second Aunt, I have something to tell you, your future daughter-in-law is very likely to be a sick child, she... ..."
"Fourth Sister!!"
Little Liu was shocked, and immediately made a gesture of zipping his mouth and kept bowing to me, "Wrong, I was wrong!"
I gave him a blank look, Xiao Mian, I can’t cure you anymore, when I love to say, you say that he is a spring heart and just follow those boys chasing girls and writing love letters, but it turns out that the one he likes is from our class, I I haven't known that girl for three years in junior high school. It's not that I'm not popular, but she is on sick leave for half a semester. It seems that she has some heart problems and can't run or dance. I am white and she is pale.
What I can't understand is that some girls in the class are still very envious of her, and they want to have a heart attack. They insist that the disease is the disease of some TV heroine, and if they have this disease, they will not worry about white horses. prince.
I am different from them. I sympathize with that girl. Of course, I am afraid that I have a problem with not growing fine hair because I always see that girl with pale face and purple lips. I am afraid that one day I will be like that. I couldn't live anymore, but Xiao Liu asked me to send a love letter, and told me not to peek. can not watch anymore.
"Ah, my little Lin Daiyu, my whole body hurts if I don't see you for a day..."
At that time, I almost wanted to beat Xiao Liu until his whole body hurt!
This is more disgusting and cheap than what other boys wrote to me!As for the result, hehe, I just remembered that Xiaolin Daiyu asked for sick leave the next day.
"what does it mean."
Mingyue seemed to have just reacted, "Why did I find out that the two of you are talking in the wrong way! Why do you junior high school students know how to have a girlfriend now! You are sent to school to have a girlfriend! What's going on! You two said one by one, Bao Si, did you do it!"
"Second aunt, what do you mean, no, no! They are all afraid of me."
I replied impatiently, and even gave the culprit another look, oh, it's useless to make you talk nonsense!
But there is one thing Xiaoliu said is right, that is, I am a tiger. No matter what angle I think about now, I think my brick is right. First of all, there are no children in Shangtang who dare to bully us. .
My name is very popular among children. Secondly, this story spread after I was in junior high school. The guy spread it miraculously, saying that I dared to kill people at a young age. Someone even nicknamed my character Gas Can, it’s funny, I’m speechless after hearing it.
In short, no matter what I look like, at least everyone knows my temper, and the receipt of the note is the receipt of the note, but I haven't encountered any stalker, but this may also be due to the fact that although everyone is in the At the age of first love, but still very innocent.
"Xiao Liu! What are you! What does your fourth sister mean!!"
Xiao Liu stood there with lowered eyes, with a hint of perfunctory impatience in his tone, "Oh, I didn't do anything, I just wrote a note, but they didn't reply, and I never came to school after that, that's all. .”
That Mingyue stared, "You wrote something for others, people who are so exciting don't come to school!!"
I suddenly couldn't help laughing, I really wanted Xiao Liu to read that love letter, I promise my second aunt will make him unable to get off the kang for a few days.
"No, she is not in good health, she has a heart disease..."
"You can, you! You are very active in learning the two hundred and five objects. Is heart disease a trivial matter! You still provoke others! Let me tell you, don't say you are not old, you are old, you find You have to find me a healthy partner, otherwise I will never agree! Tell me about the two of you, you are about to take the high school entrance examination, and if you don’t study together, you will just engage in such nonsense..."
"I haven't done these things, I'm not in the mood."
I seriously interrupted my second aunt, "I won't go to high school now, I've been at home since I graduated from junior high school, taking care of my grandma, and I won't go anywhere."
"Fourth sister..."
Xiao Liu was stunned, "At least you can study well, don't stop reading, I'm sure I won't be able to pass the high school entrance examination."
I bit my lips slightly, "It's not that I don't want to read, I just want to see grandma's situation. Anyway, there is no age limit for studying now. I will go to school after grandma's health is stable."
When I go to high school, I have to go to the county, so it’s not a matter of riding a bicycle. My grandmother’s physical illness relapsed when I was in the second year of junior high school. I didn’t go to Bincheng that time, and my second uncle took us to the city for a checkup. , the doctor said that grandma's four-year postoperative control is already good, and the survival rate for more than ten months is generally pitifully low.
Without even thinking about it, I said that I would send my grandma to the United States, find my dad, and use the best medical methods to treat her!
The doctor looked at me and shook his head, "I know the feelings of your patients' families. From a medical point of view, I know that foreign treatment methods will be very advanced, but at the same time, the amount of money is unimaginably huge. Besides, going abroad for medical treatment It’s not like just going there. Taking ordinary people as an example, it takes a long time to wait for some procedures.
Secondly, in terms of this disease and the actual age of the patient, my suggestion is not to continue to torment her. This disease metastasizes very quickly. In the world, it is also a difficult problem that has not been overcome. What you have to do, Just be mentally prepared. "
I remember that I didn’t even have any strength in my body after listening to it. Although I knew that what I said was urgent, and it was impossible to say that I would send my grandma abroad, I was really afraid. I was afraid that my grandma would be like Miss Chaoyang’s grandpa. Go, leave like that.
When I walked out of the doctor's office, I saw my grandma smiling at me. She said that she was very satisfied with her life for a few years. Let me rest assured that she would have to wait until I was an adult before she left, otherwise she would be afraid of the dark. Mom, I can't take it. She hasn't finished her work, so don't worry.
It was my grandma’s words that made me extremely scared, so I made up my mind that I would be at home after graduating from the third year of junior high school. Anyway, I started school a year later than ordinary people, and I would not be afraid if I was a few years later.
"Bao Si, listen to me, you have to go to school, didn't you say before that you have to go to university or something."
I looked at my second aunt and nodded, "I want to go to university. My uncle also said that my cultural studies are not in conflict with being a teacher. Studying is also a way to broaden my horizons, but I can't read it now. I want to accompany my grandma." ,That's it."
"It's okay, your grandma is taking care of her at home, she is now..."
"You do not understand."
I interrupted my second aunt softly, "I'm just afraid, I know grandma will stand upright and wait for me for a year, but I'm still afraid."
"No, your grandma will definitely survive until you go to college!"
"I touched..."
"What did you touch?"
I sniffed my nose hard, and my voice trembled uncontrollably, "There is something on her spine, like a glass ball growing under the skin, several, I touched it, that is the metastatic tumor..."
Many times, I don’t want myself to add up these things. I know, as sister Chaoyang said, to be strong, all I can do is to accept. I have even thought of countless ways to unravel myself. It is not eternal life. One day, I will also leave this world. My grandma and I just broke up briefly in the long river of time. After that, we will meet again down below.
However, I still feel uncomfortable. I always think, if by then, how many moments of my grandma will miss me. If I really become a big man, then the people I want to share with the most are grandma and grandma. Grandma left while I was ignorant, and all my sustenance is left with grandma.
"Fourth sister..."
Xiao Liu looked at me trying to liven up the atmosphere, "Hey, let's talk about Xiao Lin Daiyu again, I heard from my classmate that I saw her the day before yesterday, and that guy was still ecstatic, why do you think I think she is The one with fairy air, hey! Fourth sister!! Don’t even think about it, you will only be eighteen next year, grandma can at least..."
"Xiao Liu! You're talking nonsense and I'll sew your mouth shut!!"
I turned around and left the back room directly. When I stepped into the yard, I saw the swing hanging on the crossbar that had been raised several times by my second uncle. Taller.
When I walked to the front yard, King Kong was lazily lying there. In the past two years, it has become more and more inactive. Although it still screams when outsiders come to the house, but I listen to it, and I always feel that its roar is much more Powerless bravado.
I don't want to admit that it's old, so I always try to tease it, and occasionally take it out for a walk, but it doesn't go far, and it has to lie down to rest. I hate this feeling so much, I will force it Take the rope and talk to it, go, go!
But it just can’t walk, I know I don’t hate it, I’m just afraid, I didn’t have many friends in my childhood, and I did have only a few relatives at home that can be counted on one hand, of course, there must be Plus King Kong, at least, it is my earliest and most loyal friend, it has never disliked me for being a fool!
There was a time when I frantically went to my uncle’s place to eat books, not for anything else, but to find a way to prevent people or animals from getting sick or dying from the book. I can’t rely on Xian’er either, I’ve seen the backlash from my grandma, so I wanted to find Taoism, but my uncle just shook his head blankly when he looked at me, “People are suffering, do you want to think about what she’s after? Stuff itself is wrong..."
I refused to accept, "Uncle, you can help grandma, right? Since you have such a great ability, why don't you go down the mountain to help your family and just stay here, aren't you selfish!"
The uncle looked at me indifferently, "What should I do to be unselfish?"
"You are selfish if you don't save people! You tell me your kindness, but you don't save people! You don't save your own family!"
That was the first quarrel I had with him. To be exact, it was just me blowing it up. My uncle still didn’t respond as usual, he lowered his head and continued to read, "I can do it, I will do it, but I should accept it , I don’t reject, I don’t resist, just let nature take its course.”
I felt that my uncle didn't understand me, so I looked at him very brokenly, "Aren't you afraid that your family will leave? I'm afraid! I'm afraid that my family will leave! I hate that I'm the only one left in the end!!"
The uncle sighed softly, "My heart has its own bright moon, and the eternal reunion will never be lacking."
I held back my tears and watched him nod, "Uncle, I really don't understand what you said, I want to keep them in my heart, but I can't do it until the last moment! I can't just watch grandma die, Now I just want to find a way, find a way to make grandma stay with me for a few more years!"
My uncle was not answering, and I didn't know what else to say, so I put down those books and ran down the mountain, but when I passed Jizuigou, I saw Blind Chen. I wasn't in the mood to say hello to him, but he recognized The sound of my footsteps stopped me, and it was also on that day that I accidentally learned the story of my uncle.
It turns out that my uncle has not always lived on the mountain. In the words of Blind Chen, he is far superior to grandma in terms of comprehension, and because he can use magic skills such as Qimen Dunjia at a very young age, even if he is a teenager. He was well-known far and wide, because the Xue family hadn’t yet been defeated at that time, so he was naturally sent out to study by his great-grandfather with the honor of his family. I heard that my uncle went to Hong Kong at that time, because there was room for him to study Fengshui. Formation stayed there for several years.
When I came back in the early 60s, in the words of Blind Chen, he was still not blind at that time. He watched his uncle carrying a suitcase and wearing an English suit enter the village. At that time, they all seemed to be looking at foreigners. They surrounded my house layer by layer and kept asking him what Hong Kong was like.
Blind Chen said with emotion, "My life was saved by your uncle. At that time, he took a look at me and said that my eyes have seen too many yin houses, and there are evil spirits. I can't help with acupoints, otherwise , Blindness within one year, and soul flying away within three years, I didn’t believe it, to be honest, when I saw your uncle dressed in foreign clothes, I felt that Mr. could not dress like him, we had to wear a coat, your uncle was also formal at the time. He is in his prime, so if he doesn’t believe it, then make a bet. In the end, I don’t need to tell you, you can see what I’m like now, I’m blind, and I obeyed his words. , let’s get some oriole chattering, and let’s make a living.”
"What about Grandpa Li, why did he..."
Blind Chen shook his head and smiled wryly, "He has a very poisonous mouth. Although capable gentlemen like to be straight-talking, he is also a real offender. He used to be the most disobedient to your uncle, because Lao Li has a strong personality. The fate of your birth He put it on directly at the door. Your uncle said that he would suffer a lot from his mouth sooner or later. He refused to accept it and criticized your uncle's fate. Alone and helpless..."
"The results of it?"
"The two sat there and counted each other, and they were both accurate."
Blind Chen seems to be immersed in the scene decades ago, "It's just that your uncle's calculation came true first. At that time, when Lao Li showed the matter to a client, he said it too bluntly, which offended him. Ask him to recalculate, he doesn't care about that, he said that there is no back-and-forth calculation of orders, the more calculations become thinner, and the result is that the family has a bad temper, and he is blinded by him. You say, it's not just a mouth, but a mistake. Open your mouth?"
"Where is my uncle!"
"he……"
Blind Chen couldn't laugh anymore, and turned to Dashan sadly, "Something happened to him and he had to leave, but your grandma was married and had children at that time, and it was very troublesome to walk with a big family. He couldn't let go of your grandma." , and didn’t agree to leave by myself. People at that time were jealous. I don’t know who reported it, saying that your uncle is a spy and a traitor. Just like that, he was tied up and brought up the mountain for him, and I went up together. With Lao Li, but the three of us, the worst is your uncle.
They light cigarettes on the ground, then stick them in the soil, put five or six cigarettes in a pile, and then ask your uncle to step on them, saying that the rocket went to the sky, he was tortured and fainted, and he asked him to explain, what can he explain? , just don’t say anything, because the three of us have a good relationship, they beat me and Lao Li, beat us with a whip, and asked him if we were his accomplices.
It stands to reason that your uncle would be able to rest for a while if we were cleaned up by those people in three shifts, but your uncle couldn't stand it, so he admitted that he was a traitor and a spy, saying that he had no accomplices and was just using the two of us. But the two of us don't know how to flatter and don't reveal the secrets he wants, so he also hates us, and when he beats us, he applauds, saying that he will beat us to death, and he will relieve his anger by beating us..."
I couldn't imagine it, and asked tremblingly, "What about after that?"
Blind Chen wiped his tears behind the black glasses, "Naturally, the two of us were taken down and sent to the shed to work. We are blind and can't see. Even if we do some work, at least we don't have to suffer, but you Uncle is miserable. I heard that all kinds of tricks have been used. The people who came down asked each other about the cruel tricks. They said that his mouth was too hard to pry it open. Others said that he had to pull his teeth. Go knock, he will talk after knocking out, if you don’t say anything, take off your pants, heat up the iron stool and let him sit on it, sit on it twice and you will be honest..."
I couldn't bear it and began to cry uncontrollably, "Where is my grandma, where was my grandma at that time, why didn't you save my uncle?"
"How can we help? Most of the people in our village have not escaped. Your grandma and grandma are parading in the streets every day. When I went to the next village, I heard that adults and children threw things at them, spit on them, beat them, and said that they It's a ghost and a monster. The only thing your grandma is better than your uncle and grandpa is that she never left the village, so those people didn't catch her up the mountain. I heard that few people who went to other villages survived. Your uncle If you are not dead, even if you are dead..."
"Later, uncle and master will not go down the mountain like this?"
Blind Chen nodded, "Finally, the investigation was clear. We followed your grandma to find him, but your uncle said that those years seemed to have gone through countless lives and deaths. He looked away, and he has nothing to ask for in the world." , In this life, I just stay there and never leave, which can be regarded as fulfilling Lao Li's words, no wife, no children, and no one to rely on.
He saved me and Lao Li's lives. If he hadn't changed his tone and saved us in a disguised form, otherwise, we two blind people would have ended up there. Counting, he saved me twice. Those sins , It’s really not human, the people in those days were really crazy, I dare not say anything else, your uncle, you really have no fear of life and death, before we go down the mountain, it hurts so much, he laughs and enjoys it until Swoon, Lao Li and I admire your uncle the most in this life. He is proud and unrestrained. From him, we can see the truth. "
The crying in my mouth made a whimpering sound because of being too forbearing, and I began to blame myself in an instant, how could I scold my uncle for being selfish, what right do I have to blame my uncle for being selfish!
"You still remember the year you were born. It's strange to say that before you were born, it was flooded, but after you were born, the village began to suffer from drought. If the farmers had no food to eat, they would all starve to death. Just when everyone thought it was going to happen that year. When we couldn't get through, Lao Li and I fumbled to find your uncle.
He set up a formation at the mouth of the forest. We couldn't get in, so we shouted outside, saying that it was too dry, and asked him to help find a way to ask for rain. He shouted three times before and after, but as soon as we finished shouting, Lao Li I heard thunder, and as soon as I walked down the mountain, it rained. We counted the two times, exactly three games, which made everyone tighten their belts that year. Tell me, is your uncle very capable? "
I pouted and looked at Blind Chen, "But didn't you say that I suppressed you, you always liked to blame me for this when I was young..."
Blind Chen took it for granted, "You think it's not your fault, your fate is not ordinary, Bai Huxing, of course I'm going to beat you up, who knows that you will make me suffer every time, you look stupid, but in fact it's the worst!" You are the one who is smart! But there is something wrong with me, you said that I always competed with you as a child, no matter how sad that year was, didn’t you come over, don’t be angry with grandpa.”
I shook my head, although he couldn't see, "How could I be angry with you? When I was not enlightened, I caused too many troubles. You said I should have done everything, but I didn't expect that my uncle did this before. Many things, I misunderstood him, I thought that he didn't care about his family, he only had himself in his heart..."
"Where is it? He is a kind of letting go of people after despair and great compassion. Otherwise, ordinary people will be filled with hatred even if they are not crazy after being tortured and abused by him. You will have a bright future. The first thing I want to thank is your grandma. She has been protecting you and protecting you. When you were born, your grandma arranged dozens of halls for others, just to recruit you for virtue.
The second person to thank is your uncle. If you can survive, he must have found a way for your grandma. As for what, I don’t know, but I’m sure he won’t leave it alone. Don't go down the mountain, but your grandma will always look for him when encountering major problems. He is your elder brother, so how can you not care about your family! "
I didn't continue to listen to the words that followed, I just remembered that I was crying and running towards my uncle's residence crazily, and when I ran into the house, I saw my uncle was watering the little orange tree, and I was crying and kneeling I confessed my mistake, "Uncle, I was wrong. I will never talk nonsense again. It's my fault. I know that grandma's illness can be used. I shouldn't use my words to hurt you. Forgive me, don't be angry with me..."
The uncle smiled lightly and pulled me up, "Speaking unscrupulously means that you are anxious and anxious, but you just feel powerless. The more you do this, the more it means that you can't let go of your family. Although your way of expression is wrong, your heart is good. , It shows that you know how to nurture and understand kindness, I understand, so how can I blame you."
I cried so much that day that I couldn't speak. I just looked at my uncle's face that seemed to have been through many vicissitudes. In addition to self-blame, I still blame myself. He is the elder I respect the most. To measure and hurt him with selfish desires is wrong, I really feel that I am very wrong!
I cried for a long time until the sun was about to go down. I wiped away my tears and told my uncle that I was going down the mountain. I can’t live here now. I have to look at my grandma every night and want to say sorry again, but I feel that the language is weak. Where is my uncle? I will care about my sorry, what I can do is to prove myself with practical actions, and try my best to read his book in the room, so as not to let him down.
When I left, my uncle only said to me softly, "Baosi, to achieve great things, one must first calm down. If the mind is disturbed, it is small to hurt others, but it is true to hurt the overall situation."
I stood at the gate of the courtyard and watched him nod his head half-understood. Before I left, I knelt down and kowtowed to him three more times. I was a teacher for one day and a father for life. The master is so tolerant, don't I want to regret it for the rest of my life!
The memory slowly came back, I touched King Kong's head and let out a soft breath, meditate, it was the two words my uncle taught me, and I had to force myself to accept them for more than a year, even when my grandma called them When Li Jianguo wanted to make the coffin ahead of time, he suppressed his emotions and went to play chess with Uncle Li. I was afraid that he would fool us because of his poor workmanship, so I went to the backyard where he worked after school and had nothing to do. I even picked the wood by myself. .
Originally, I wanted to use Jinsinan's. For these things, I think I was influenced by the surname Lu. When I became more sensible, I always liked to go to Li Shutao for knowledge in this area. Occasionally, I went to the county. I also went to the street of Antique City. I know that Jinsinan is the best kind of coffin, so when my grandma first secretly approached Li Jianguo to discuss making a coffin for myself, the first thing I said to the past was I want Jinsinan's coffin!
Grandma was shocked. She thought I didn't know what she was doing. I suppressed my emotions and looked at grandma peacefully and said, I know she is preparing to put on old clothes. I know what my grandma is preparing, just like when my grandma left. In reality, since the result can be expected, no one wants to be at a loss.
I said, I can accept it, grandma, leave it to me, I have grown up, I am not so fragile.
Grandma looked at me with tears in her smiling eyes, and kept nodding her head, "Okay, if Grandma's four treasures think so, then Grandma will be relieved even if she leaves, really relieved!"
Li Jianguo smoothed things over by the side. He said that ordering a coffin is actually not a big deal. People in ancient times ordered it in advance. Use it!
I didn't listen to his words, I just pretended to be calm in front of my grandma, but at night, when I lay down on the kang, I always wanted to cry unconsciously, but I didn't dare to cry, for fear that Xiaoliu would hear and ask me, In the morning, I would wake up like nothing happened, day after day, waiting for that, the last thing I want to face.
Li Jianguo asked for [-] yuan, saying that Jinsinan is precious wood, and the ancient emperors used it after their death. Because my grandma is an old neighbor, he gave a discount of [-] yuan, saying that there is no such thing anywhere. Price.
The second uncle and the others were naturally surprised, saying that the price was too high. The family has been empty for treating grandma all these years. How can they spend [-] yuan? After discussing, I really have to raise the money this time, which is the last thing I can do for my grandma.
But I stood up, and I said, "Change to red pine instead of Jinsinnan."
Li Jianguo was a little impatient, "Baosi, you are the one who said Jinsinan, why do you want red pine again?"
I looked at him seriously, "Uncle Li, don't be fooled, Jinsinan is very expensive now, and I heard that there are very few big ingredients. A few days ago, I asked the landlord's uncle to inquire about it in the county. He said that the father of a big logistics boss he knew gave it in Jinsinan's coffin when he left, guess how much it is?"
Li Jianguo rolled his eyes, "That must be more expensive than mine! I paid the price for your neighbors!"
I nodded, "Yes, the so-called bed is not separated from seven, and the coffin is not separated from eight. Since the size of the big coffins is about the same, but the golden silk Nan on it cost more than 8 yuan... Uncle Li, you can make a coffin and don't collapse it." Take it..."
Li Jianguo remained silent, "What do you mean, you don't know that the species of Jinsinnan are different."
I smiled, "It's not the same, but gold thread is gold thread. Once it is confused by some big leaf nan, or camphor wood, it's not good. It hurts feelings. After all, we are paying the price of gold nan. So I think, it’s easy to suffer big losses if you take advantage of a small advantage, and it’s better to use the red pine that is safer, the red pine that my grandma used when she left, I think it’s very good, what do you think.”
Li Jianguo was a little angry, gritted his teeth and looked at me and snorted, "You are the boss, so of course I did what you said!"
After finishing speaking, he turned his head and left, feeling indignant as he walked, "I have been a carpenter for so many years, and I still have a little girl to teach me lessons!"
The second uncle felt that something was wrong, "Bao Si, you said we won't let people..."
"fine."
I interrupted my second uncle directly, "Money must be spent wisely. You can't hold back just because you have been a neighbor for many years and have something to say. Isn't that waiting to be killed? I don't care. If he dares to fool , I will ask him to redo it for me, at worst, find someone else to do it, there are plenty of carpenters!"
After finishing speaking, I'm leaving too. Who are you playing tricks on? Now I'm full of anger every day. It's best not to mess with me!
That Mingyue was very satisfied with what I did, and she carefully talked to me behind her back, saying that what I did was right. My second uncle is just too kind, and he always loses face. She wanted to fool our family, if she didn't see that grandma was not in good health and didn't want to make trouble, she would have talked to Li Jianguo!
I don't think it's necessary to talk about it. After all, Li Jianguo also wanted to earn more money, but he never expected that I would go to the county to inquire about this. Wood is the easiest to manipulate, and there are few people who know how to do it. The difference between various types of wood is really It's very subtle, it's hard to distinguish, and it's impossible for anyone to dig it out after the burial, so it's a one-shot deal, but if he bumps into me, then we have to talk about it, to be honest , I have the heart to let people be buried with me when I am in a hurry!
'cough cough cough ~ cough cough cough ~~'
The sound of my grandma coughing in the room completely drew my attention back. I moved lightly to the window, and when I raised my eyes, I saw my grandpa injecting my grandma with distressed eyes. It hurts..."
"Hurry up...Put it up after you tie it up. When Brother Mingyue comes, ask him to go to the hospital in the town and get some more Maka. Don't let Sibao see it. Worry..."
Grandpa frowned, "Why are you always looking for Brother Mingyue? When I saw that kid, I didn't think he was a serious person. His eyes turned round and round, and he asked me what our little black pill was doing the other day. It's like holding back and doing something bad."
Grandma coughed softly and sighed, "Isn't he able to change more medicines? Otherwise, if you take an empty bottle of this medicine in the village, you can only change it back to one. In the place he knows, you can change a few more. I am now If you beat him a lot, you have to beg him, and you don’t say anything when he asks you, what to say, he’s Mingyue’s younger brother, no matter how bad he is, he can’t hurt his sister.”
Grandpa nodded, put away the medicine bottle and hid it under the pillow, "Okay, take a break, don't keep talking."
The grandma hummed, her eyes were gray and without a gleam of light, "Hide it well, don't let the four treasures see it, the child has a serious heart, and he is about to enter high school, don't delay the child's performance..."
I leaned on the outer window and squatted down slowly, covered my mouth tightly and did not dare to make a sound, raised my eyes desperately, could only look at the sky and hold back tears, and I will go into the room to study in a while, I don't want my grandma to see I have cried.
It's just why it's so difficult these days, forcibly enduring the feeling of walking on thin ice is no different from slowly cutting the flesh with a blunt knife, and the pain in the heart is getting worse day after day...
Does God have eyes? Why did he torture our family like this? What did we do wrong!
……
During the May Day holiday, I rode a bicycle to the town at noon to buy trough cakes for my grandma and grandpa. I lifted the buttocks of the car and entered the door. As soon as I pushed the car into the yard, I smiled and shouted, "Grandma, I'm lucky today, just out of the pot Just let me catch up! It's still hot!"
As soon as I finished speaking, I saw Li Jianguo coming out of the house, and he kept agreeing when he turned his head, "Don't worry, the oil has been drying for a long time! If you always want to see it, go and see it anytime!"
I frowned slightly, and saw my mother, whom I hadn't seen for several years, come out behind Li Jianguo, "Excuse me, I don't know why my mother has to ask you to come and ask today...Bao Si, you I'm back."
"Yo, Baosi is back, Shoufang, why don't you take a look today, go to my house to read books with Xiaoxue after the holidays, don't keep running around, your grandma said you are determined to go to college! !"
I ignored Li Jianguo, who was walking by me, and looked at my mother. Just as I was about to open my mouth, I saw my grandma coming out of the back room in high spirits, "Sibao, what the hell are you? Ah, your grandpa is still waiting to eat!"
Stepping back slightly, I shook my head and looked at her, "Why is my mother back?"
Grandma smiled, "Why can't your mother come back, go into the house, Grandma has something to tell you."
"I don't listen!!!"
I blew up right then, the bike 'thumped'!Falling to the ground with a bang, watching her lose control of her emotions, "What are you going to confess, what are you going to confess!!"
Grandma was stunned, "What's wrong with you kid, you are not happy to see grandma being raped, the cake is all dirty! How can you eat it!!"
"What to eat!!!"
I stepped forward and was crushed, "You lied to me!! You said I was eighteen, and there is still one year left! Another year!!!"
Mom couldn't help turning her face away and crying at that time. Xiao Liu ran all the way from the back room with a half-gnawed apple in his hand, "Fourth sister, what's wrong with you."
I didn't know what was wrong with me, so I just watched my grandma break down in various ways, and I watched Trough Cake, whose legs softened and knelt on the ground, "I don't want my mother to come back, I don't want my mother to come back..."
"Four Treasures..."
Grandma saw that I was about to come over, "Listen to grandma, grandma..."
"Don't come here!~!"
I looked at my grandma with tears in my eyes, "You're fine, you're fine, you'll be fine, I don't want to hear anything, you let my mother go, you tell her, you'll be fine for a year Yes, tell her! Tell her!!!"
(End of this chapter)
Days go by day by day. In the beginning, I didn’t have time consciousness. It’s just that one day, I accidentally found that the blue tabletop I’ve been using all the time started to be mottled. That’s when I realized that when I first owned it, I was 12 years old. that summer vacation.
Maybe time will really dilute many things, but I still clearly remember that during the summer vacation that year, when I was in the hospital in Bincheng, I had to think about Uncle Shen’s unsolved headless case almost every day when I opened my eyes. My aunt found an empty place to analyze the situation of her parents together, and she was very anxious every day, thinking that if she couldn't figure it out, she would suffocate to death.
But as soon as he returned to Baishan Village, these things seemed to stay in the city with the sea forever along with the two railroad tracks that could not see the momentum.
In the beginning, when I was free, I would chat with my second aunt, and even when Xiao Liu asked me if I had seen Lu Xingyue in Bincheng, I would say a few words. Of course, I lied, I said I hadn't met him, The city is so big, it's so easy to see, because I don't want Xiao Liu to know how embarrassing I was when I fell.
When school started and life was on track, I just wanted to think about these things. I was very tired because I couldn't touch them, and it felt far away. I never dreamed about Uncle Shen again, and my mother still hasn't heard from her for a long time. , Dad is the same, I think, he should have gone abroad, my daughter, for them, maybe it is really dispensable.
The most unexpected thing is the relationship between me and Li Xue, because I can’t tell who took advantage of the pair of white leather shoes. She is happy about the consensual thing, and I am also happy to pick it up for two years. Leisurely, as the monitor of the elementary school, except for the desk, she has been conscientiously checking my homework in the most foolish way, and then arranged the most relaxing duty for me, and even became a seemingly good friend with me.
I have to emphasize, it just looks like, I really don’t like some of her styles, I always think of the thing that my grandma said about her shallow eyelids, she wants to be friends with me, I know, it’s because she knows I’m in college Having parents in the city may be a good condition in her eyes, otherwise I would not be able to have nice stationery and schoolbags.
Conservatively, during the two years when our relationship was good, she took away one of my pens, five or six oil pens with small plush toys, two hard-shell diaries with combination locks, and There are countless stickers, erasers, correction fluid...
Because although my mother didn’t come back, she would post things to me in the next few years. After I got it to school, if she liked it, she would keep touching it. I am a person who pays attention to equivalent exchange. If you like it, you can , Let's change, do I do my homework, or help me sweep the floor, I am relaxed, she is happy, so we are quite harmonious.
This relationship lasted until I graduated from elementary school, and it was not so smooth when I went to junior high school. The junior high school was in the town, and it took about half an hour to ride a bicycle. Her father asked her to live on campus, and I would rather spend a little time on the road to and from school than to die. Living in school, plus not being in the same class, the two-year friendship naturally parted ways, but it didn't mean that we met and didn't talk, and it was just neither salty nor salty, which was much better than the inexplicable hum when she saw me when I was a child.
Looking back, it's true that friendship based on material things is not worth scrutinizing.
And the reason why I don't live on campus is also very simple, I have to see my grandma every day, and another thing that is hard to explain is my body, sometimes you have to use the student bathhouse when you live on campus, it's okay in winter, but in summer who doesn't Washing, it’s inconvenient for me to take a shower, I don’t want to wash with everyone, and I don’t want everyone to know that I don’t have fine hair.
The issue of fine hair is a big problem for me. I even secretly asked if Mingyue had time to take me to the county to have a look. I was afraid that I might have some unknown disease. It's normal, although it's not as exaggerated as Li Xue's two water polos, but at least I observed that I was similar to most girls in the class, but when I accidentally saw their armpit hair when they raised their arms in summer... …
Looking at myself again, I immediately became nervous, and always felt that my excessive fairness was a disease that would kill me every minute.
"Oh, it's not a problem with you. I asked, white spots are not good, white spots are an advantage!"
On the contrary, Mingyue didn't look nervous for me when she saw my dad back then, "One hundred cover one hundred ugliness, this is what other little girls dream about!"
I was anxious, "It's not right for me to be white, and white can't help but grow fine hair. Aunt, do I have albinism?"
I remember that the surname Lu mentioned this disease, so when I realized that it might be a disease, I was really afraid of being hit by his crow's mouth!
Mingyue raised her eyebrows, "I asked about the illness. It's not that there is no hair, but the hair is also white! And the whole body, even the eye hair, and the hair are white, snow-white and snow-white. Look, except for the white skin, where is it?" picture."
I looked at her in disbelief, "I also have to dye my hair, once every six months."
"Tsk!"
That Mingyue dropped the work in her hand and looked at me, "Your one is gray, do you understand gray, it's not white hair, and that white hair is snow white, whiter than paper! Don't worry, your grandma said you That’s the fate, that’s how hard life is! Except for the fact that you will have to work hard to find a partner in the future, it will not delay you!”
I accept that my fate is hard, but I can't accept that I am too special, it makes me uncomfortable, and I am troubled, Xiao Liu came in from the door, and I don't know how much I eavesdropped, against the male duck in the voice-changing period Opened her mouth and said, "Mom, don't listen to her, fourth sister is showing off in disguise, you don't know how many people chase after her school, everyone says her only shortcoming is short hair, if it is longer, it will be perfect Yes, people gave her the nickname Seventh Middle School Xiaohua, and what to call her Whiterose..."
"go away!"
I interrupted him with a loud voice. This guy started to grow rapidly after the second year of junior high school. He looks as thin and tall as a big monkey. Kid has turned into a garrulous boy who likes to disassemble home appliances and play basketball and game consoles.
Although he has always boasted that he will be the Einstein of Baishan Village in the future, none of the things he dismantled can be reinstalled. Instead, he invented a solar-powered flashlight by brainstorming, but that thing is useless at all. It has to be used under the sun during the day, who is sick and still uses a flashlight during the day, which made the family panic for a while, as soon as he looked at the appliance for a few more times, Mingyue would immediately lock it with a chain, for fear of letting him Get scrapped!
After hearing that, Mingyue couldn't stop giggling, "What shredded pork? Witt shredded pork? What do you mean!"
Xiao Liu gave her an uneducated look, "It's just a white rose!"
That Mingyue curled her lips, "I don't like roses, I prick my hands with that thing!"
"Yes!"
Xiao Liu winked and looked at me, "Isn't it just pricking hands? My evaluation of my fourth sister is only six words, the northern girl, she is very tiger!"
"Xue Xiaoliu, you've got some patience, right?"
I glanced at him with a smile on my face, then turned to look at Mingyue, "Second Aunt, I have something to tell you, your future daughter-in-law is very likely to be a sick child, she... ..."
"Fourth Sister!!"
Little Liu was shocked, and immediately made a gesture of zipping his mouth and kept bowing to me, "Wrong, I was wrong!"
I gave him a blank look, Xiao Mian, I can’t cure you anymore, when I love to say, you say that he is a spring heart and just follow those boys chasing girls and writing love letters, but it turns out that the one he likes is from our class, I I haven't known that girl for three years in junior high school. It's not that I'm not popular, but she is on sick leave for half a semester. It seems that she has some heart problems and can't run or dance. I am white and she is pale.
What I can't understand is that some girls in the class are still very envious of her, and they want to have a heart attack. They insist that the disease is the disease of some TV heroine, and if they have this disease, they will not worry about white horses. prince.
I am different from them. I sympathize with that girl. Of course, I am afraid that I have a problem with not growing fine hair because I always see that girl with pale face and purple lips. I am afraid that one day I will be like that. I couldn't live anymore, but Xiao Liu asked me to send a love letter, and told me not to peek. can not watch anymore.
"Ah, my little Lin Daiyu, my whole body hurts if I don't see you for a day..."
At that time, I almost wanted to beat Xiao Liu until his whole body hurt!
This is more disgusting and cheap than what other boys wrote to me!As for the result, hehe, I just remembered that Xiaolin Daiyu asked for sick leave the next day.
"what does it mean."
Mingyue seemed to have just reacted, "Why did I find out that the two of you are talking in the wrong way! Why do you junior high school students know how to have a girlfriend now! You are sent to school to have a girlfriend! What's going on! You two said one by one, Bao Si, did you do it!"
"Second aunt, what do you mean, no, no! They are all afraid of me."
I replied impatiently, and even gave the culprit another look, oh, it's useless to make you talk nonsense!
But there is one thing Xiaoliu said is right, that is, I am a tiger. No matter what angle I think about now, I think my brick is right. First of all, there are no children in Shangtang who dare to bully us. .
My name is very popular among children. Secondly, this story spread after I was in junior high school. The guy spread it miraculously, saying that I dared to kill people at a young age. Someone even nicknamed my character Gas Can, it’s funny, I’m speechless after hearing it.
In short, no matter what I look like, at least everyone knows my temper, and the receipt of the note is the receipt of the note, but I haven't encountered any stalker, but this may also be due to the fact that although everyone is in the At the age of first love, but still very innocent.
"Xiao Liu! What are you! What does your fourth sister mean!!"
Xiao Liu stood there with lowered eyes, with a hint of perfunctory impatience in his tone, "Oh, I didn't do anything, I just wrote a note, but they didn't reply, and I never came to school after that, that's all. .”
That Mingyue stared, "You wrote something for others, people who are so exciting don't come to school!!"
I suddenly couldn't help laughing, I really wanted Xiao Liu to read that love letter, I promise my second aunt will make him unable to get off the kang for a few days.
"No, she is not in good health, she has a heart disease..."
"You can, you! You are very active in learning the two hundred and five objects. Is heart disease a trivial matter! You still provoke others! Let me tell you, don't say you are not old, you are old, you find You have to find me a healthy partner, otherwise I will never agree! Tell me about the two of you, you are about to take the high school entrance examination, and if you don’t study together, you will just engage in such nonsense..."
"I haven't done these things, I'm not in the mood."
I seriously interrupted my second aunt, "I won't go to high school now, I've been at home since I graduated from junior high school, taking care of my grandma, and I won't go anywhere."
"Fourth sister..."
Xiao Liu was stunned, "At least you can study well, don't stop reading, I'm sure I won't be able to pass the high school entrance examination."
I bit my lips slightly, "It's not that I don't want to read, I just want to see grandma's situation. Anyway, there is no age limit for studying now. I will go to school after grandma's health is stable."
When I go to high school, I have to go to the county, so it’s not a matter of riding a bicycle. My grandmother’s physical illness relapsed when I was in the second year of junior high school. I didn’t go to Bincheng that time, and my second uncle took us to the city for a checkup. , the doctor said that grandma's four-year postoperative control is already good, and the survival rate for more than ten months is generally pitifully low.
Without even thinking about it, I said that I would send my grandma to the United States, find my dad, and use the best medical methods to treat her!
The doctor looked at me and shook his head, "I know the feelings of your patients' families. From a medical point of view, I know that foreign treatment methods will be very advanced, but at the same time, the amount of money is unimaginably huge. Besides, going abroad for medical treatment It’s not like just going there. Taking ordinary people as an example, it takes a long time to wait for some procedures.
Secondly, in terms of this disease and the actual age of the patient, my suggestion is not to continue to torment her. This disease metastasizes very quickly. In the world, it is also a difficult problem that has not been overcome. What you have to do, Just be mentally prepared. "
I remember that I didn’t even have any strength in my body after listening to it. Although I knew that what I said was urgent, and it was impossible to say that I would send my grandma abroad, I was really afraid. I was afraid that my grandma would be like Miss Chaoyang’s grandpa. Go, leave like that.
When I walked out of the doctor's office, I saw my grandma smiling at me. She said that she was very satisfied with her life for a few years. Let me rest assured that she would have to wait until I was an adult before she left, otherwise she would be afraid of the dark. Mom, I can't take it. She hasn't finished her work, so don't worry.
It was my grandma’s words that made me extremely scared, so I made up my mind that I would be at home after graduating from the third year of junior high school. Anyway, I started school a year later than ordinary people, and I would not be afraid if I was a few years later.
"Bao Si, listen to me, you have to go to school, didn't you say before that you have to go to university or something."
I looked at my second aunt and nodded, "I want to go to university. My uncle also said that my cultural studies are not in conflict with being a teacher. Studying is also a way to broaden my horizons, but I can't read it now. I want to accompany my grandma." ,That's it."
"It's okay, your grandma is taking care of her at home, she is now..."
"You do not understand."
I interrupted my second aunt softly, "I'm just afraid, I know grandma will stand upright and wait for me for a year, but I'm still afraid."
"No, your grandma will definitely survive until you go to college!"
"I touched..."
"What did you touch?"
I sniffed my nose hard, and my voice trembled uncontrollably, "There is something on her spine, like a glass ball growing under the skin, several, I touched it, that is the metastatic tumor..."
Many times, I don’t want myself to add up these things. I know, as sister Chaoyang said, to be strong, all I can do is to accept. I have even thought of countless ways to unravel myself. It is not eternal life. One day, I will also leave this world. My grandma and I just broke up briefly in the long river of time. After that, we will meet again down below.
However, I still feel uncomfortable. I always think, if by then, how many moments of my grandma will miss me. If I really become a big man, then the people I want to share with the most are grandma and grandma. Grandma left while I was ignorant, and all my sustenance is left with grandma.
"Fourth sister..."
Xiao Liu looked at me trying to liven up the atmosphere, "Hey, let's talk about Xiao Lin Daiyu again, I heard from my classmate that I saw her the day before yesterday, and that guy was still ecstatic, why do you think I think she is The one with fairy air, hey! Fourth sister!! Don’t even think about it, you will only be eighteen next year, grandma can at least..."
"Xiao Liu! You're talking nonsense and I'll sew your mouth shut!!"
I turned around and left the back room directly. When I stepped into the yard, I saw the swing hanging on the crossbar that had been raised several times by my second uncle. Taller.
When I walked to the front yard, King Kong was lazily lying there. In the past two years, it has become more and more inactive. Although it still screams when outsiders come to the house, but I listen to it, and I always feel that its roar is much more Powerless bravado.
I don't want to admit that it's old, so I always try to tease it, and occasionally take it out for a walk, but it doesn't go far, and it has to lie down to rest. I hate this feeling so much, I will force it Take the rope and talk to it, go, go!
But it just can’t walk, I know I don’t hate it, I’m just afraid, I didn’t have many friends in my childhood, and I did have only a few relatives at home that can be counted on one hand, of course, there must be Plus King Kong, at least, it is my earliest and most loyal friend, it has never disliked me for being a fool!
There was a time when I frantically went to my uncle’s place to eat books, not for anything else, but to find a way to prevent people or animals from getting sick or dying from the book. I can’t rely on Xian’er either, I’ve seen the backlash from my grandma, so I wanted to find Taoism, but my uncle just shook his head blankly when he looked at me, “People are suffering, do you want to think about what she’s after? Stuff itself is wrong..."
I refused to accept, "Uncle, you can help grandma, right? Since you have such a great ability, why don't you go down the mountain to help your family and just stay here, aren't you selfish!"
The uncle looked at me indifferently, "What should I do to be unselfish?"
"You are selfish if you don't save people! You tell me your kindness, but you don't save people! You don't save your own family!"
That was the first quarrel I had with him. To be exact, it was just me blowing it up. My uncle still didn’t respond as usual, he lowered his head and continued to read, "I can do it, I will do it, but I should accept it , I don’t reject, I don’t resist, just let nature take its course.”
I felt that my uncle didn't understand me, so I looked at him very brokenly, "Aren't you afraid that your family will leave? I'm afraid! I'm afraid that my family will leave! I hate that I'm the only one left in the end!!"
The uncle sighed softly, "My heart has its own bright moon, and the eternal reunion will never be lacking."
I held back my tears and watched him nod, "Uncle, I really don't understand what you said, I want to keep them in my heart, but I can't do it until the last moment! I can't just watch grandma die, Now I just want to find a way, find a way to make grandma stay with me for a few more years!"
My uncle was not answering, and I didn't know what else to say, so I put down those books and ran down the mountain, but when I passed Jizuigou, I saw Blind Chen. I wasn't in the mood to say hello to him, but he recognized The sound of my footsteps stopped me, and it was also on that day that I accidentally learned the story of my uncle.
It turns out that my uncle has not always lived on the mountain. In the words of Blind Chen, he is far superior to grandma in terms of comprehension, and because he can use magic skills such as Qimen Dunjia at a very young age, even if he is a teenager. He was well-known far and wide, because the Xue family hadn’t yet been defeated at that time, so he was naturally sent out to study by his great-grandfather with the honor of his family. I heard that my uncle went to Hong Kong at that time, because there was room for him to study Fengshui. Formation stayed there for several years.
When I came back in the early 60s, in the words of Blind Chen, he was still not blind at that time. He watched his uncle carrying a suitcase and wearing an English suit enter the village. At that time, they all seemed to be looking at foreigners. They surrounded my house layer by layer and kept asking him what Hong Kong was like.
Blind Chen said with emotion, "My life was saved by your uncle. At that time, he took a look at me and said that my eyes have seen too many yin houses, and there are evil spirits. I can't help with acupoints, otherwise , Blindness within one year, and soul flying away within three years, I didn’t believe it, to be honest, when I saw your uncle dressed in foreign clothes, I felt that Mr. could not dress like him, we had to wear a coat, your uncle was also formal at the time. He is in his prime, so if he doesn’t believe it, then make a bet. In the end, I don’t need to tell you, you can see what I’m like now, I’m blind, and I obeyed his words. , let’s get some oriole chattering, and let’s make a living.”
"What about Grandpa Li, why did he..."
Blind Chen shook his head and smiled wryly, "He has a very poisonous mouth. Although capable gentlemen like to be straight-talking, he is also a real offender. He used to be the most disobedient to your uncle, because Lao Li has a strong personality. The fate of your birth He put it on directly at the door. Your uncle said that he would suffer a lot from his mouth sooner or later. He refused to accept it and criticized your uncle's fate. Alone and helpless..."
"The results of it?"
"The two sat there and counted each other, and they were both accurate."
Blind Chen seems to be immersed in the scene decades ago, "It's just that your uncle's calculation came true first. At that time, when Lao Li showed the matter to a client, he said it too bluntly, which offended him. Ask him to recalculate, he doesn't care about that, he said that there is no back-and-forth calculation of orders, the more calculations become thinner, and the result is that the family has a bad temper, and he is blinded by him. You say, it's not just a mouth, but a mistake. Open your mouth?"
"Where is my uncle!"
"he……"
Blind Chen couldn't laugh anymore, and turned to Dashan sadly, "Something happened to him and he had to leave, but your grandma was married and had children at that time, and it was very troublesome to walk with a big family. He couldn't let go of your grandma." , and didn’t agree to leave by myself. People at that time were jealous. I don’t know who reported it, saying that your uncle is a spy and a traitor. Just like that, he was tied up and brought up the mountain for him, and I went up together. With Lao Li, but the three of us, the worst is your uncle.
They light cigarettes on the ground, then stick them in the soil, put five or six cigarettes in a pile, and then ask your uncle to step on them, saying that the rocket went to the sky, he was tortured and fainted, and he asked him to explain, what can he explain? , just don’t say anything, because the three of us have a good relationship, they beat me and Lao Li, beat us with a whip, and asked him if we were his accomplices.
It stands to reason that your uncle would be able to rest for a while if we were cleaned up by those people in three shifts, but your uncle couldn't stand it, so he admitted that he was a traitor and a spy, saying that he had no accomplices and was just using the two of us. But the two of us don't know how to flatter and don't reveal the secrets he wants, so he also hates us, and when he beats us, he applauds, saying that he will beat us to death, and he will relieve his anger by beating us..."
I couldn't imagine it, and asked tremblingly, "What about after that?"
Blind Chen wiped his tears behind the black glasses, "Naturally, the two of us were taken down and sent to the shed to work. We are blind and can't see. Even if we do some work, at least we don't have to suffer, but you Uncle is miserable. I heard that all kinds of tricks have been used. The people who came down asked each other about the cruel tricks. They said that his mouth was too hard to pry it open. Others said that he had to pull his teeth. Go knock, he will talk after knocking out, if you don’t say anything, take off your pants, heat up the iron stool and let him sit on it, sit on it twice and you will be honest..."
I couldn't bear it and began to cry uncontrollably, "Where is my grandma, where was my grandma at that time, why didn't you save my uncle?"
"How can we help? Most of the people in our village have not escaped. Your grandma and grandma are parading in the streets every day. When I went to the next village, I heard that adults and children threw things at them, spit on them, beat them, and said that they It's a ghost and a monster. The only thing your grandma is better than your uncle and grandpa is that she never left the village, so those people didn't catch her up the mountain. I heard that few people who went to other villages survived. Your uncle If you are not dead, even if you are dead..."
"Later, uncle and master will not go down the mountain like this?"
Blind Chen nodded, "Finally, the investigation was clear. We followed your grandma to find him, but your uncle said that those years seemed to have gone through countless lives and deaths. He looked away, and he has nothing to ask for in the world." , In this life, I just stay there and never leave, which can be regarded as fulfilling Lao Li's words, no wife, no children, and no one to rely on.
He saved me and Lao Li's lives. If he hadn't changed his tone and saved us in a disguised form, otherwise, we two blind people would have ended up there. Counting, he saved me twice. Those sins , It’s really not human, the people in those days were really crazy, I dare not say anything else, your uncle, you really have no fear of life and death, before we go down the mountain, it hurts so much, he laughs and enjoys it until Swoon, Lao Li and I admire your uncle the most in this life. He is proud and unrestrained. From him, we can see the truth. "
The crying in my mouth made a whimpering sound because of being too forbearing, and I began to blame myself in an instant, how could I scold my uncle for being selfish, what right do I have to blame my uncle for being selfish!
"You still remember the year you were born. It's strange to say that before you were born, it was flooded, but after you were born, the village began to suffer from drought. If the farmers had no food to eat, they would all starve to death. Just when everyone thought it was going to happen that year. When we couldn't get through, Lao Li and I fumbled to find your uncle.
He set up a formation at the mouth of the forest. We couldn't get in, so we shouted outside, saying that it was too dry, and asked him to help find a way to ask for rain. He shouted three times before and after, but as soon as we finished shouting, Lao Li I heard thunder, and as soon as I walked down the mountain, it rained. We counted the two times, exactly three games, which made everyone tighten their belts that year. Tell me, is your uncle very capable? "
I pouted and looked at Blind Chen, "But didn't you say that I suppressed you, you always liked to blame me for this when I was young..."
Blind Chen took it for granted, "You think it's not your fault, your fate is not ordinary, Bai Huxing, of course I'm going to beat you up, who knows that you will make me suffer every time, you look stupid, but in fact it's the worst!" You are the one who is smart! But there is something wrong with me, you said that I always competed with you as a child, no matter how sad that year was, didn’t you come over, don’t be angry with grandpa.”
I shook my head, although he couldn't see, "How could I be angry with you? When I was not enlightened, I caused too many troubles. You said I should have done everything, but I didn't expect that my uncle did this before. Many things, I misunderstood him, I thought that he didn't care about his family, he only had himself in his heart..."
"Where is it? He is a kind of letting go of people after despair and great compassion. Otherwise, ordinary people will be filled with hatred even if they are not crazy after being tortured and abused by him. You will have a bright future. The first thing I want to thank is your grandma. She has been protecting you and protecting you. When you were born, your grandma arranged dozens of halls for others, just to recruit you for virtue.
The second person to thank is your uncle. If you can survive, he must have found a way for your grandma. As for what, I don’t know, but I’m sure he won’t leave it alone. Don't go down the mountain, but your grandma will always look for him when encountering major problems. He is your elder brother, so how can you not care about your family! "
I didn't continue to listen to the words that followed, I just remembered that I was crying and running towards my uncle's residence crazily, and when I ran into the house, I saw my uncle was watering the little orange tree, and I was crying and kneeling I confessed my mistake, "Uncle, I was wrong. I will never talk nonsense again. It's my fault. I know that grandma's illness can be used. I shouldn't use my words to hurt you. Forgive me, don't be angry with me..."
The uncle smiled lightly and pulled me up, "Speaking unscrupulously means that you are anxious and anxious, but you just feel powerless. The more you do this, the more it means that you can't let go of your family. Although your way of expression is wrong, your heart is good. , It shows that you know how to nurture and understand kindness, I understand, so how can I blame you."
I cried so much that day that I couldn't speak. I just looked at my uncle's face that seemed to have been through many vicissitudes. In addition to self-blame, I still blame myself. He is the elder I respect the most. To measure and hurt him with selfish desires is wrong, I really feel that I am very wrong!
I cried for a long time until the sun was about to go down. I wiped away my tears and told my uncle that I was going down the mountain. I can’t live here now. I have to look at my grandma every night and want to say sorry again, but I feel that the language is weak. Where is my uncle? I will care about my sorry, what I can do is to prove myself with practical actions, and try my best to read his book in the room, so as not to let him down.
When I left, my uncle only said to me softly, "Baosi, to achieve great things, one must first calm down. If the mind is disturbed, it is small to hurt others, but it is true to hurt the overall situation."
I stood at the gate of the courtyard and watched him nod his head half-understood. Before I left, I knelt down and kowtowed to him three more times. I was a teacher for one day and a father for life. The master is so tolerant, don't I want to regret it for the rest of my life!
The memory slowly came back, I touched King Kong's head and let out a soft breath, meditate, it was the two words my uncle taught me, and I had to force myself to accept them for more than a year, even when my grandma called them When Li Jianguo wanted to make the coffin ahead of time, he suppressed his emotions and went to play chess with Uncle Li. I was afraid that he would fool us because of his poor workmanship, so I went to the backyard where he worked after school and had nothing to do. I even picked the wood by myself. .
Originally, I wanted to use Jinsinan's. For these things, I think I was influenced by the surname Lu. When I became more sensible, I always liked to go to Li Shutao for knowledge in this area. Occasionally, I went to the county. I also went to the street of Antique City. I know that Jinsinan is the best kind of coffin, so when my grandma first secretly approached Li Jianguo to discuss making a coffin for myself, the first thing I said to the past was I want Jinsinan's coffin!
Grandma was shocked. She thought I didn't know what she was doing. I suppressed my emotions and looked at grandma peacefully and said, I know she is preparing to put on old clothes. I know what my grandma is preparing, just like when my grandma left. In reality, since the result can be expected, no one wants to be at a loss.
I said, I can accept it, grandma, leave it to me, I have grown up, I am not so fragile.
Grandma looked at me with tears in her smiling eyes, and kept nodding her head, "Okay, if Grandma's four treasures think so, then Grandma will be relieved even if she leaves, really relieved!"
Li Jianguo smoothed things over by the side. He said that ordering a coffin is actually not a big deal. People in ancient times ordered it in advance. Use it!
I didn't listen to his words, I just pretended to be calm in front of my grandma, but at night, when I lay down on the kang, I always wanted to cry unconsciously, but I didn't dare to cry, for fear that Xiaoliu would hear and ask me, In the morning, I would wake up like nothing happened, day after day, waiting for that, the last thing I want to face.
Li Jianguo asked for [-] yuan, saying that Jinsinan is precious wood, and the ancient emperors used it after their death. Because my grandma is an old neighbor, he gave a discount of [-] yuan, saying that there is no such thing anywhere. Price.
The second uncle and the others were naturally surprised, saying that the price was too high. The family has been empty for treating grandma all these years. How can they spend [-] yuan? After discussing, I really have to raise the money this time, which is the last thing I can do for my grandma.
But I stood up, and I said, "Change to red pine instead of Jinsinnan."
Li Jianguo was a little impatient, "Baosi, you are the one who said Jinsinan, why do you want red pine again?"
I looked at him seriously, "Uncle Li, don't be fooled, Jinsinan is very expensive now, and I heard that there are very few big ingredients. A few days ago, I asked the landlord's uncle to inquire about it in the county. He said that the father of a big logistics boss he knew gave it in Jinsinan's coffin when he left, guess how much it is?"
Li Jianguo rolled his eyes, "That must be more expensive than mine! I paid the price for your neighbors!"
I nodded, "Yes, the so-called bed is not separated from seven, and the coffin is not separated from eight. Since the size of the big coffins is about the same, but the golden silk Nan on it cost more than 8 yuan... Uncle Li, you can make a coffin and don't collapse it." Take it..."
Li Jianguo remained silent, "What do you mean, you don't know that the species of Jinsinnan are different."
I smiled, "It's not the same, but gold thread is gold thread. Once it is confused by some big leaf nan, or camphor wood, it's not good. It hurts feelings. After all, we are paying the price of gold nan. So I think, it’s easy to suffer big losses if you take advantage of a small advantage, and it’s better to use the red pine that is safer, the red pine that my grandma used when she left, I think it’s very good, what do you think.”
Li Jianguo was a little angry, gritted his teeth and looked at me and snorted, "You are the boss, so of course I did what you said!"
After finishing speaking, he turned his head and left, feeling indignant as he walked, "I have been a carpenter for so many years, and I still have a little girl to teach me lessons!"
The second uncle felt that something was wrong, "Bao Si, you said we won't let people..."
"fine."
I interrupted my second uncle directly, "Money must be spent wisely. You can't hold back just because you have been a neighbor for many years and have something to say. Isn't that waiting to be killed? I don't care. If he dares to fool , I will ask him to redo it for me, at worst, find someone else to do it, there are plenty of carpenters!"
After finishing speaking, I'm leaving too. Who are you playing tricks on? Now I'm full of anger every day. It's best not to mess with me!
That Mingyue was very satisfied with what I did, and she carefully talked to me behind her back, saying that what I did was right. My second uncle is just too kind, and he always loses face. She wanted to fool our family, if she didn't see that grandma was not in good health and didn't want to make trouble, she would have talked to Li Jianguo!
I don't think it's necessary to talk about it. After all, Li Jianguo also wanted to earn more money, but he never expected that I would go to the county to inquire about this. Wood is the easiest to manipulate, and there are few people who know how to do it. The difference between various types of wood is really It's very subtle, it's hard to distinguish, and it's impossible for anyone to dig it out after the burial, so it's a one-shot deal, but if he bumps into me, then we have to talk about it, to be honest , I have the heart to let people be buried with me when I am in a hurry!
'cough cough cough ~ cough cough cough ~~'
The sound of my grandma coughing in the room completely drew my attention back. I moved lightly to the window, and when I raised my eyes, I saw my grandpa injecting my grandma with distressed eyes. It hurts..."
"Hurry up...Put it up after you tie it up. When Brother Mingyue comes, ask him to go to the hospital in the town and get some more Maka. Don't let Sibao see it. Worry..."
Grandpa frowned, "Why are you always looking for Brother Mingyue? When I saw that kid, I didn't think he was a serious person. His eyes turned round and round, and he asked me what our little black pill was doing the other day. It's like holding back and doing something bad."
Grandma coughed softly and sighed, "Isn't he able to change more medicines? Otherwise, if you take an empty bottle of this medicine in the village, you can only change it back to one. In the place he knows, you can change a few more. I am now If you beat him a lot, you have to beg him, and you don’t say anything when he asks you, what to say, he’s Mingyue’s younger brother, no matter how bad he is, he can’t hurt his sister.”
Grandpa nodded, put away the medicine bottle and hid it under the pillow, "Okay, take a break, don't keep talking."
The grandma hummed, her eyes were gray and without a gleam of light, "Hide it well, don't let the four treasures see it, the child has a serious heart, and he is about to enter high school, don't delay the child's performance..."
I leaned on the outer window and squatted down slowly, covered my mouth tightly and did not dare to make a sound, raised my eyes desperately, could only look at the sky and hold back tears, and I will go into the room to study in a while, I don't want my grandma to see I have cried.
It's just why it's so difficult these days, forcibly enduring the feeling of walking on thin ice is no different from slowly cutting the flesh with a blunt knife, and the pain in the heart is getting worse day after day...
Does God have eyes? Why did he torture our family like this? What did we do wrong!
……
During the May Day holiday, I rode a bicycle to the town at noon to buy trough cakes for my grandma and grandpa. I lifted the buttocks of the car and entered the door. As soon as I pushed the car into the yard, I smiled and shouted, "Grandma, I'm lucky today, just out of the pot Just let me catch up! It's still hot!"
As soon as I finished speaking, I saw Li Jianguo coming out of the house, and he kept agreeing when he turned his head, "Don't worry, the oil has been drying for a long time! If you always want to see it, go and see it anytime!"
I frowned slightly, and saw my mother, whom I hadn't seen for several years, come out behind Li Jianguo, "Excuse me, I don't know why my mother has to ask you to come and ask today...Bao Si, you I'm back."
"Yo, Baosi is back, Shoufang, why don't you take a look today, go to my house to read books with Xiaoxue after the holidays, don't keep running around, your grandma said you are determined to go to college! !"
I ignored Li Jianguo, who was walking by me, and looked at my mother. Just as I was about to open my mouth, I saw my grandma coming out of the back room in high spirits, "Sibao, what the hell are you? Ah, your grandpa is still waiting to eat!"
Stepping back slightly, I shook my head and looked at her, "Why is my mother back?"
Grandma smiled, "Why can't your mother come back, go into the house, Grandma has something to tell you."
"I don't listen!!!"
I blew up right then, the bike 'thumped'!Falling to the ground with a bang, watching her lose control of her emotions, "What are you going to confess, what are you going to confess!!"
Grandma was stunned, "What's wrong with you kid, you are not happy to see grandma being raped, the cake is all dirty! How can you eat it!!"
"What to eat!!!"
I stepped forward and was crushed, "You lied to me!! You said I was eighteen, and there is still one year left! Another year!!!"
Mom couldn't help turning her face away and crying at that time. Xiao Liu ran all the way from the back room with a half-gnawed apple in his hand, "Fourth sister, what's wrong with you."
I didn't know what was wrong with me, so I just watched my grandma break down in various ways, and I watched Trough Cake, whose legs softened and knelt on the ground, "I don't want my mother to come back, I don't want my mother to come back..."
"Four Treasures..."
Grandma saw that I was about to come over, "Listen to grandma, grandma..."
"Don't come here!~!"
I looked at my grandma with tears in my eyes, "You're fine, you're fine, you'll be fine, I don't want to hear anything, you let my mother go, you tell her, you'll be fine for a year Yes, tell her! Tell her!!!"
(End of this chapter)
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