I'm Mrs.

Chapter 393 Dance

lay down?

How to let it go?

I bent down and stood there until my fingertips touched the box, and the numb current seemed to swim along my fingertips. I frowned slightly, picked up the box, lifted my feet and walked to the bathroom——

in the mirror.

I looked at my pale and lifeless face quietly, not understanding why I wanted to look in the mirror so much, faintly, as if there was some hint, telling me, looking at myself, there would be an answer.

My eyes were still dull, I put the box on the sink, raised my arm, and lightly touched my face in the mirror with my fingertips. In a trance, the scene changed completely. Through the mirror, I saw a The cliff, surrounded by straight pines and cypresses, covered with white snow, is very natural, just like seeing the familiar cave entrance, there seems to be a north wind whizzing by, the loosened white snow trembles slightly, and the ice crystals float with the wind——

I watched intently until the white fox slowly walked out of the cave, standing on the edge of the cliff with round eyes full of misery, looking vaguely into the distance...

"it's me……"

As I muttered softly, hot tears rolled down my cheeks, the strong wind in the mirror seemed to sweep across my cheeks, intertwined with heat and cold, and then, only coldness remained...

The little white fox just stared at it for a long time in the wind and snow. Something called missing was like a sharpened spear, which seemed to penetrate the thick ice and reach a certain warmth that could never be touched.

When I look at the white fox, it's like looking at the moon in the water, watching the clouds roll and the clouds relax, the flowers bloom and fall, and I can see thousands of years at a glance.

I don’t know how long it has passed, and its hair covered with snow has become thicker. I saw it turn its head faintly, and its dark but expressionless eyes looked straight at me in the mirror. We seem to be thousands of miles apart, but the two But my heart felt the same icy cold at this time, why is it so cold?
It's snow, it's people, it's longing, it's good fortune, it's love.

That is, in an instant, I saw a shiny liquid from its eyes, round and transparent granular liquid, crystal-like, flowing out of its eyes——

The mouth collapsed for no reason, I inhaled vigorously, tears filled my eyes, my hand was still attached to the mirror, it still looked at me, with the same things rolling down in my eyes, but the pointed and protruding mouth smiled .

That's right, it's a smile.

Very sad look.

I snorted and watched it smile with tears in it, the desolation in its eyes gradually became free and easy, even though it was still surrounded by heavy snow, but its tearful eyes gradually smiled relaxed and comfortable , even though it is still tearful and trembling, but I understand what it expresses.

"Everything that has a picture is false..."

With a strong nasal voice, I whispered to it in the mirror, "If you see all appearances and non-appearances, you will see the Tathagata."

Everything in the world is appearance, falsehood, illusion, obsession...

Enlightenment is to see clearly the vexation that entangles oneself, to understand the self-disturbance behind the causes and conditions, and to understand the origin of all these pains...

It nodded lightly, smiled in vain, and slowly turned its small head back, facing the cliff, only feeling the cold wind, suddenly, it jumped!
"Hey!!"

I stretched out my hand to the mirror in horror, but only hit the mirror surface with a 'snap', my lips trembled, and I realized.

It is letting go, it wants me to let go completely.

Only in this way can it be considered completely relaxed and detached.

I am this fox, guarding and living for love, but how can human beings and animals be tolerated by the laws of nature?
Knowing that I can’t do it, I still insist on going my own way. It’s my obsession that gave me a chance to reincarnate, and it’s also its obsession that made me and Lu Er meet early. I want to know, just to continue the relationship. Now it seems that the vicissitudes of life have been exhausted. Love is deep, but fate is shallow?

So, it has to let go, let go of its own obsession, let go of this evil fate that has been cultivated for thousands of years?
I held the mirror and raised my head, with tears in my eyes, but my heart was extremely relaxed. Let it go, yes, if everything is over, it would be a good thing. I am it, and it is also me. What I have to do is to end this infinity There should be an end to the endless obsession, karma and retribution.

……

After waiting for a long time, I took off my clothes and took a shower. The warm liquid drenched my body, but my mind was clear and clear. I was always afraid before, always afraid that I would not be able to control things, and I was anxious to catch them. Everything seems to always be too hard, eager to prove myself to everyone.

Taking a deep breath, I stretched out my hand, and the water passed between my fingers. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hold a single drop in my palm. Because I couldn’t grasp it, I was too anxious. Every time, I always didn’t understand the truth of letting it be. ...

It's yours, it's yours after all, it's not yours, you can't keep it.

Only letting go is the real relief. The little white fox needs relief, and it also needs me to let it completely free.

Realizing this, I suddenly felt extremely relaxed.

I tidied myself up very carefully, raised my head after going downstairs, the sun is so bright, Little King Kong ran to my feet with a sound of 'Wow'~, I knelt down and touched its head, with a slight smile on the corner of my mouth , "How did you gain so much weight, huh?"

Uncle Xu was still working on the flower seedlings in the corner. When he saw me, he got up and walked over, "Baosi, Mr. Lu said you should remember to eat first when you get up."

I nodded, "Okay, I'll eat in a while."

Uncle Xu looked at me in a daze, "Baosi, you..."

"what happened?"

Uncle Xu shook his head, "You haven't smiled for a long time, is there anything happy today?"

I pursed my lips and looked at him, "Uncle Xu, I want to learn how to dance, can you help me get a teacher over here?"

"Dance?"

Uncle Xu froze for a moment and then nodded, "Of course it's no problem. Mr. Lu said, you can do whatever you like as long as you don't go out, so what kind of dance should you learn? Is it a folk dance, or a hip-hop dance that young people like now, that... ..."

"Modern dance."

I rubbed the little King Kong's head and let it play by itself. I got up and thought about Uncle Xu, "Modern dance is fine. You can find a teacher for me. Talk less."

Although Uncle Xu was puzzled, he still nodded, "Understood, I'll call and make arrangements now."

"it is good."

I watched Uncle Xu walk away, and went back to the restaurant for dinner. When I took out my phone, there was a message from Shen Mingya, "Lu Er's grandfather is here, we will have dinner with Feifei tonight to discuss the marriage, do you want to?" Come join in the fun? '

After taking a look, he threw it aside and didn't return.

As soon as the meal was finished, Uncle Xu came in, "Baosi, I've contacted you with the dance teacher, and he will come over tomorrow. I ask for a slightly older one, a teacher from a professional dance academy."

"Okay, thank you Uncle Xu."

Uncle Xu nodded and was about to go out. He looked at my mobile phone and stopped, "By the way, Baosi, Mr. Lu said that he will come back later tonight, and said that he doesn't need to wait for him to eat."

I hummed, and cleaned up the bowls and chopsticks, "I see."

Uncle Xu was completely puzzled by my reaction, "Baosi, did Mr. Lu call you to tell you why he didn't come back? I..."

"It's okay, Uncle Xu."

I looked back at him and smiled, "He has been very busy recently, I understand, hey, are you going to fertilize the flower seedlings this afternoon? Let's go together!"

Uncle Xu shook his head, "At the seedling stage, there is no need to fertilize, just give the flower seedlings time to adapt to the environment, but there are some flower seedlings in the greenhouse that can be fertilized, and they will bloom in winter."

I hummed, "Okay, then go and take care of the ones in the greenhouse. I'll go in the afternoon when I have nothing to do."

Uncle Xu was still in a daze, "You don't want to run on the machine anymore."

"No!"

I chuckled, "I'm so tired, how nice it is to do something I like and want to do."

"Yes."

Seeing me like this, Uncle Xu finally nodded comfortably, "I'm relieved if you think so, then I'll go to work first."

I didn't talk much, I simply cleaned up and went upstairs with my mobile phone, and called my second uncle while lying on the bed, and I couldn't help laughing when I heard the noise of toasting over there, "Second uncle, what are we doing over there?" Woolen cloth!"

"San Fatty is getting married tomorrow, and today I've been eating here, the running water table, everyone in the village is here, and everyone is drinking!"

I laughed twice, "Whose daughter will San Pang marry?"

"It's the one where the six sons went on a blind date..."

The second uncle was a little drunk, "What nickname does he have?"

"Big moon cake."

I laughed so hard that my stomach hurts, and the second uncle also laughed over there, "Isn't that right! You and San Fatty are quite worthy, and the couple are not thin, Fuxiang!"

"By the way, Four Treasures, San Pang's mother can still say thank you. If it weren't for your lice tails, San Pang's reputation would not be washed away. Now no one in the village dare to say that San Pang has no men." That's it!"

I don't know if it's because of drinking, but the second uncle is very talkative, "The big guy asked me just now, when did you come back, I'm waiting for you to come back to see what happened!"

I bit my lip and walked to the balcony, "I'll go back when I have time, what about Second Aunt, is she having a wedding wine there too?"

"Where, chatting with a group of women is just to praise you. Didn't she live in your place for a while? When she came back, she said it was the palace. She also took a bunch of photos on her mobile phone. Whoever catches them will show them. In this village No one envies our family!"

The second uncle talked for a long time and then lowered his voice, "But Sibao, why didn't your second aunt come back and talk to me about your affairs in Xiaolu? She just said that you two are settled. There are many things in our village now, and I can't get out. Go, but what exactly did you and Xiao Lu decide? Do the parents of both sides have to meet? For marriage or something, don’t come back after discussing it.”

I twitched the corners of my mouth, "Second Uncle, this is not popular in the city now, we are traveling to get married, and Lu Er and I plan to go around like Xiao Liu and his girlfriend, and visit each country, young People, don't you always talk about broadening your horizons!"

The second uncle's voice paused on the phone, "You guys are going to travel too."

"Well, I have this plan. I want to go to many countries. When I meet a church on the road, I will be married. Anyway, don't worry about me. There is nothing wrong in the village..."

"There is nothing wrong with the village, and it is a good thing to have it. It is road construction. Many families have occupied the land. Well, it has become an upstart all of a sudden. In fact, there is not much road repair, but it is a key project. Now there are construction projects in the village every day. The construction team is messy."

I said oh, and didn't ask any more questions, I just thought it would be good to just divert the previous conversation.

"Sibao, I'm just worried about you. How about this? No matter you are traveling or something, when the time comes back to the village, remember to bring Xiaolu back. I'll do it for you in the village, or Mingyue and I will finish this job." After a while, we have to have a meal together, the satin quilt that your aunt sewed for you, and some dowry, I have to send it to you."

I smiled and agreed, "Okay, drink less, don't drink too much, I have something to do here, so let's not talk about it!"

"Well, Sibao, it's getting cold, put on more clothes, don't catch a cold."

The second uncle asked me to put down the phone again, and I exhaled at the disconnected phone screen, "I will receive my dowry."

One afternoon, Uncle Xu and I worked in the greenhouse, and he even found me a suit of overalls. The two of us worked hard, like two workers fighting on the front line of the flower garden.

When Uncle Xu saw that I was in good spirits, he started to talk more. He talked about his marriage, his wife died of illness, and how he came to work in the Lu family. At the end, he said to me, "Bao Si, in one's life, there is no hurdle that one cannot overcome, don't you think so?"

I nodded and didn't respond too much. I went back to the bedroom to take a shower and change clothes. The phone kept buzzing non-stop. When I clicked on it, it was the photo Shen Mingya sent me.

In a Chinese restaurant, there were her, Lu Pei, and an old man and Fei Sun sitting together for dinner. The old man was laughing with her. Fei Sun bowed her head shyly, while Lu Pei was expressionless. There is text behind the photo, only one sentence, 'Miss Xue, it's a pity you don't come. '

All four of them are in the picture, so this photo was taken by Aunt Gui?
I felt bored, so I threw it aside, the light was dimmed, I would still take the box, it didn’t matter if I opened it or not, it was just a habitual action, after playing for a while, I turned to look at the corner of the balcony’s floor-to-ceiling curtains, “Little annoying ,are u there……"

no respond.

I sighed, "You will hear me, I know I will be sorry to many people, but the one who feels the most guilty is you, my grandma, my grandma, uncle, I think I can apologize in person, only For you alone, I really can't do anything..."

The corners of the lips are a little involved, "Don't blame me, this kind of obsession, after I understand it, I know that there must be a result, otherwise, what I will face is to continue to suffer, you will meet someone who is destined, maybe I will see you too , when the time comes, I will apologize to you in person..."

Looking at the ceiling with a little laxity in his eyes, "I miss you so much..."

(End of this chapter)