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Chapter 3 Social Psychology

Mature and wise, smooth and unsophisticated
Social networking is an unavoidable part of life for everyone.Whether you are a cadre or a scholar, whether you are a boss or an ordinary person, as long as you live in this world, you have to deal with all kinds of people around you.The rapid development of social economy has also brought about the rearrangement and combination of interpersonal relationships. Whether a person can succeed depends to a large extent on his interpersonal relationships and ability to behave in the world.Therefore, how to socialize is a new topic that every modern person must face.

Light promises make little promises, easy things make difficult

Honesty and trustworthiness are the first principles of dealing with people.

Only by being honest can you keep the contract in your heart, win the dignity of being a human being, and eventually achieve great things.

Being honest and trustworthy and keeping promises is a virtue and the foundation of life.The so-called honesty means being loyal and honest, not telling lies.Honest people can be faithful to the true colors of things, do not distort or tamper with the facts, and at the same time do not conceal their true thoughts, be open and aboveboard, speak truthfully, and deal with the facts.Honest people are opposed to opportunism, playing around with others, playing around with the wind, pushing past success, falsification, and duplicity.The so-called keeping promises means keeping promises, keeping promises, paying attention to credibility, respecting credit, and fulfilling the obligations one should assume.

A loyal and honest person's ability to recognize objective things is also limited, and it is impossible to accurately reflect the internal laws of objective things at all times.Therefore, loyal and honest people may also make mistakes, but the nature of mistakes is different from that of hypocritical people.Honest people make mistakes because of problems in their cognitive abilities and methods of knowing, while hypocritical people make mistakes because they are dishonest, which is a problem of moral character.

my country is an ancient civilization and a state of etiquette, which has always attached importance to the moral cultivation of honesty and trustworthiness.Xu Shen of the Eastern Han Dynasty said in "Shuowen Jiezi": "Faith, sincerity." The ancient sages and sages had many explanations on honesty. "The words of a gentleman, there is a sign when you believe it." Sign means proof and verification. "The reason why words are words is because they believe; if words are not believed, how can they be words?" It means that people must count on what they say. "Integrity is the knot of the world", which means that honesty is the key to the world's code of conduct.Confucius also talked about honesty many times, such as "Believe it, let people do whatever they want", "Since ancient times, people have died, and the people will not stand without faith." There are those who can move." Xunzi believed that "nothing is good at sincerity in cultivating the mind".Mozi also pays great attention to honesty: "Those who are not strong in ambition will not achieve wisdom, and those who do not believe in their words will not achieve results." Laozi regards honesty as an important criterion for life behavior: "If you make a small promise, you will be trustworthy, and if you are easy, you will be difficult." Zhuangzi also Integrity is very important: "The true person is sincere. If you are not sincere, you can't move people." This raises integrity to a new level.Han Feizi believed that "smart deceit is not as good as clumsy sincerity".In short, the ancient sages and sages praised honesty as a noble virtue.

If a person wants to gain a foothold in the society and make a career, he must have the character of honesty and trustworthiness.A person who cheats, cheats, deceives the country and society, and defrauds honor and rewards will be reviled.Honesty and trustworthiness are first of all a kind of social morality and the basic requirements of society for being a human being.

Zheng Zhouyong contracted the construction of the next bridge.Due to the rise in prices during the war, the total project cost was seven times higher than when the contract was signed in less than two years after the start of construction.At this critical moment, someone kindly dissuaded Zheng Zhouyong and stopped the construction quickly to avoid further losses.But Zheng Zhouyong has another idea: the loss of money is less important than the maintenance of reputation.So he plucked up the courage and decided resolutely: In order to keep the reputation of Hyundai Civil Engineering Co., Ltd., he would rather lose money or even go bankrupt, and take down the project on time.As a result, Hyundai Civil Engineering Co., Ltd. paid a huge price, and finally completed the project on time, and delivered it for use on time with quality and quantity guaranteed.

Although Zheng Zhouyong suffered a big loss this time and was on the verge of bankruptcy, he also established an image of keeping promises and won people's trust, and business came to him one after another.Soon, he bid for the four major construction projects in South Korea at that time: Hanheung Civil Engineering, Daye, Heunghwa Works and Central Industry, and undertook the first phase of the Han River Bridge.Then, it continued to build the second and third phases of the Han River Bridge.It took a full ten years for the three major projects of the Han River Bridge alone. It not only made Zheng Zhouyong's "modern architecture" a huge profit, but also overwhelmed his peers and became the overlord of the Korean construction industry.

If a businessman wants to make great progress in his industry, he must emphasize business ethics and take morality as the foundation.Zheng Zhou Yongning's practice of losing money and not losing reputation has made the business more and more prosperous.People who lack integrity will be seen through even if they speak sweet words.Using other people's money to get rich is a shortcut, but it must be done with integrity.Integrity is the foundation of all business success.

In ancient China, there were also examples of people who did not pay attention to integrity and reaped the consequences.

Fenghuo opera princes.The capital of the Western Zhou Dynasty was Haojing (northwest of today's Chang'an County), close to the Rong people.Zhou Tianzi made an appointment with the princes, and if the Rong people came, they would light the beacon fire and beat the drums to call the police, and the princes would come to rescue.King Zhou You's beloved concubine didn't like to laugh, but she couldn't stop laughing when she saw the beacon fire ignited and the troops of the princes rushed from all directions in a panic.In order to win the favor of his beloved concubine, King You of Zhou lit up the beacon fire several times without any reason. The armies of the princes arrived many times but did not see the Rong people, thinking that they had been cheated.Later, when the Rong people really came, no one came to rescue them when the beacon fire was ignited again.In the end, King Zhou You was killed under Lishan Mountain and was ridiculed by the people all over the world.

The two meanings of honesty and trustworthiness are interlinked and are related to each other.Honesty is the foundation of trustworthiness, and trustworthiness is the concrete manifestation of honesty. It is difficult to be trustworthy without being honest, and it is difficult to be truly honest without being trustworthy.Honesty focuses on being true to the reflection of objective facts, and being true to the expression of one's inner thoughts and emotions.Keeping promises focuses on being faithful to the responsibilities and obligations one should assume and perform, and fulfilling one's promises without reservation.

Honesty and trustworthiness are the first principles of life.No matter where you are, whether you have not been deeply involved in the world or have experienced the vicissitudes of the world, please keep your integrity and stick to it.Because only in this way can you keep the contract of the soul, win the dignity of being a human being, and finally achieve a great cause.

People's troubles are good teachers

Self-righteous teaching others not only loses their own nature, but also distorts the nature of others, becoming the so-called "subdue others and obey oneself".

Even if a person who is good at being a teacher has good intentions, what he gets may not be gratitude.

Mencius said: "The problem with people is that they like to be teachers." He pointed out that the problem with people is that they like to be other people's teachers.People who like to teach others are often self-righteous, self-aware, self-righteous, and have a superior attitude.

Today, not only have there been more and more people who are good teachers.

In the family, are there still few parents who are good teachers for their children or children who are good teachers for their parents?Aren't there many people who like to be teachers for their wives or teachers for their husbands?
Among friends, there are many people who like to be friends' teachers, don't they?
In an enterprise, isn’t there too many bosses who like to teach their employees or employees who like to teach their bosses?

In the political world, isn’t there one leader after another who likes to be the leader of the lower division or the subordinate who likes to be the superior division?

In the academic world, isn't there too many mentors who are good teachers of students or students who are good teachers as tutors?

Those who are good teachers often like to appear superior to others, like to point fingers, and always think that only their own opinions are correct.But they didn't expect that if they want to be the teachers of others, others may not necessarily learn from them.Not only that, but it is more likely to resent your behavior.Even if a person who is good at being a teacher has good intentions, what he gets may not be gratitude.

Shi Xiaohong, a middle school student, ran away from home. Of course, her parents were the most anxious.But the last thing Shi Xiaohong wants to see is her parents!
When the police tried their best to find Shi Xiaohong, her first reaction was that she didn't want to go home again, and she didn't want to explain why she didn't want to go home.After repeated questioning by the police, Shi Xiaohong finally said that she no longer wants to be reprimanded by her parents!Especially her mother, from morning to night, kept nagging that she couldn't do anything right, it was so annoying that her head was about to explode!

When the police conveyed this request to Shi Xiaohong's parents, they were shocked and helpless...

It turns out that they, like many others, have already suffered from the problem of being good at being a teacher, which was diagnosed by Yasheng Mencius more than 2000 years ago.

Of course, no one can deny that parents are everyone’s natural teachers. Parents not only have the obligation to raise their children, but also have the responsibility to educate them, but parents must respect their children’s personality, hobbies and pursuits.You can't interfere or even replace your children's freedom and rights just because you are a parent, so that you can become a good teacher unconsciously!
There is a "generation gap" between children and their parents, but it is deepened because of the good teachers of the parents.Many parents have never realized that just because they were competent life teachers for their children when they were young, does not mean that they are also qualified life teachers for their children when they grow up.While unconsciously interfering with children's life choices and marriage, they have actually violated their basic rights.

Under the traditional obedient education, the prerequisite for parents to give their children love is often obedience.This further encourages the behavior of parents to be good teachers, and often causes mutual resentment and confrontation.

Who doesn't know, the teacher, solves doubts, answers doubts.To be a teacher, you must have the level of being a teacher; to be a teacher, you must have the character of setting an example.Although the sage Confucius believed that "three people walk together, there must be my teacher", but it does not mean that everyone can be qualified for the sacred duty of a teacher.Especially for your relatives, good friends and subordinates who are loyal to their duties, you must not always pretend to be a teacher and play an inappropriate role.

But being good at being a teacher seems to be a "human problem", a common problem of human beings.It seems that everyone wants to be a teacher, to prove that they are extraordinary.The most typical symptom of this disease is that those who are good teachers do not feel that there is anything wrong, and even think it is concern and love for others.

President Lincoln of the United States was an outstanding leader who led the American people to win the Civil War and realize national unity.In the eyes of the American people, he is as famous as President Roosevelt who later led the people to defeat fascism and defend justice and peace.

But in his wife's mind, nothing was right about Lincoln, nothing was good.Every day, from morning to night, she always criticized Lincoln from head to toe over and over again.She even poured coffee on Lincoln in front of government ministers; in front of many guests, she yelled at Lincoln, sometimes jumping high, sometimes rolling on the ground, as if her duty was to criticize Lincoln exclusively.

Mrs. Lincoln is a typical "good teacher" person!Pity this famous and respected president, who has been troubled by her nagging, cursing, and nonsense for most of his life, so that he always lives in exhaustion and helplessness.Lincoln used purgatory to describe his marriage, which shows how deep his pain is!
Mrs. Lincoln, first of all, is not a qualified wife, let alone a competent wife of the president, and she thinks she can be the president's teacher. Of course, this is not just her personal sorrow, because what she is tormenting is a man who changed the course of American history. , A great man who can have a profound impact on mankind!

Those who are "good teachers" will hurt the "students" in their own imagination first.Since being a teacher has become a hobby and a habit, the biggest harm to "students" is to impose one's will on "students".If you accept it, you have; if you don't accept it, you don't follow it.Moreover, once such hobbies and habits are formed, they are a disease, a worry, and a disaster. The damage is severe, the infection is fast, and the poison is widespread. It is like a ten thousand years of plague, and it is extremely difficult to cure it.

Therefore, it is not necessary to be a good teacher. We should remind others with the spirit of learning from each other, instead of sternly criticizing others for our own reputation.

Send more "high hats" to everyone

Putting a "high hat" on someone is flattering and praising others.

Although the top hat is good, the size must meet the specifications. It is unwise to overdo the heavy top hat.

There is a Japanese proverb: "If you wear a high hat to a pig, the pig will also climb a tree." Although this may sound indecent, it can more or less prove the truth: Only when a person is a person can he be praised and encouraged by others. At this time, he will have a desire and strength to exert his greater talents.If you want to improve yourself in some area, you must act as if you already have excellent qualities in this area.

"Hat" is a very important thing.In ancient times, in order to show their identity and status, officials and rich people often wore a beautiful hat.From this, the concept of "high hat" is derived, which refers to people's flattery of others in person. Its origin is as follows:

Yuan Mei, a talented scholar in the Qing Dynasty, was appointed as a county magistrate in a certain place when he was in his 20s. Before taking office, Yuan Mei went to his teacher to say goodbye.The teacher asked him: "It's not easy to be an official. You became a county magistrate at a young age. What preparations do you have?" Yuan Mei said: "I didn't make any special preparations. Give me one, because everyone likes to wear a high hat!" When the teacher heard this, he was not happy: "To be an official, you must be upright, thanks to the fact that you have read so many books, how can you do this?" Yuan Mei immediately replied: "The teacher's words are right, but please think about it, teacher, how many people like you don't like to wear high hats in today's world?"

Hearing what Yuan Mei said, the teacher immediately turned his anger into joy.So the teachers and students bid farewell joyfully.

After Yuan Mei came out of the teacher's house, he said with emotion: "I have prepared 100 high hats, and I have already given away one before my appointment."

To "put a high hat" on others is to flatter and praise others. Everyone needs praise and appreciation from others, because it can satisfy people's self-esteem.As the saying goes, "Many people don't blame many people for courtesy." Generally speaking, people always accept the "high hat" presented by others and are willing to accept it.Throughout the ages, three teachings and nine streams, how many people have never liked to wear high hats?

A government work conference is held in the city, and the new secretary, Xiao Wu, knows that this is a godsend opportunity to get to know the leaders, and of course it should not be missed.So Xiao Wu came to the entrance of the venue early to wait for the leaders.

Zhao Ju came by special car Audi A6, and Xiao Wu stepped forward to open the car door: "The scenery, the scenery, is so enviable!"

Qian Bureau came by taxi, and Xiao Wu went up to meet him: "Smart, chic, there is a car as soon as you wave, you don't need to trouble the driver, and you can come and go freely."

Sun Ju is relatively young, and came here on a bicycle.Xiao Wu said: "Integrity and incorruption are all like you, so why should the common people complain?"

Li Ju walked over, and Xiao Wu greeted him warmly: "Fashion, fashion, many diseases of the rich and the rich are lack of exercise, and they ride in cars!"

Zhou Ju, who was watching for a long time, saw Xiao Wu's eloquence, so he deliberately made things difficult for Xiao Wu: "I crawled here, what do you say?" Xiao Wu immediately gave a thumbs up: "Oh, there are so many bureau chiefs. Inside, you are the safest!"

Everyone loves to hear compliments, and everyone loves high hats. If the high hat you give to the other party is appropriate and suitable for the person, then he must be very happy, and he must have an impression of you and a good impression of you.Therefore, learning to put a high hat on others is a good way to expand and strengthen your interpersonal network.

However, although the top hat is good, the size must meet the specifications. It is unwise to overdo the heavy top hat.How to wear a beautiful and suitable high hat to someone is very particular, and it is not enough to give one casually.You know, if the high hat is given well, it means "praise", "praise", "appreciation", and if it is not given well, it means "flattery", "flattery" and so on.There are several main criteria for a good high hat:
1. The "high hat" must be worn to the other party's strengths, and the compliments must be frank and decent
People like flattery, even if they know the other party is flattering, they will still be complacent. This is the weakness of human nature.In other words, when a person is praised by others, he will generally not be disgusted unless the other person's words are too outrageous.

The first condition for flattering others is to aim at the strengths of others, to have a sincere heart and a serious attitude.A hasty speaking attitude can easily be seen through by the other party, resulting in an unpleasant feeling.

2. Praise behind the back works better than in person

This is the supreme skill, and of all the flattery methods, the compliment behind people's backs is the most pleasing and the most effective.

Would we not be pleased if we were told that so-and-so said many good things about us behind our backs?If this kind of praise is spoken to us in front of us, it may make us feel false or suspect that he is not sincere. Why do we find it pleasant when we hear it indirectly?Because that's a compliment.

3. High hats should be worn carefully and not indiscriminately
For those who don't know, it's best not to talk about it in depth.Wait until you find out what kind of compliment he likes before talking further.Most importantly, don't compliment others casually, some people don't like this.

First of all, the high hat must be believed and accepted by people. You cannot call a stupid child a genius, which will make people feel outrageous; secondly, you must be beautiful and elegant. It's too white and has no characteristics.

Communication needs to pay, but also to pursue returns

In interpersonal communication, if you and the other party can maintain a balanced level of contributions and benefits, then this relationship is the most stable.

Social psychology studies have shown that "paying" is necessary in interpersonal communication, but "excessive giving" is not good, and sometimes it is even counterproductive.

We all know that if a person always asks for others, but he does not know how to give, then there will definitely be problems in his interpersonal relationship. This kind of person is called a selfish person, and people will definitely not want to associate with him.So, when a person always gives and doesn't take, does his relationship have problems?The answer is yes.

The American psychologist Homans once proposed in 1974 that the communication between people is essentially a kind of social exchange, which follows the same principle as commodity exchange in the market, that is, people hope to What you get in the relationship is not less than what you pay.In fact, if you get more than you give, it will also make people lose their psychological balance.

A beautiful girl came to Xiaoxie's unit.The girl has just graduated from university, and her family conditions are not very good.Once, the girl's mother fell ill and wanted to come to Beijing for a checkup. She couldn't come up with the money for a while, so she had to borrow 1000 yuan from Xiao Xie.Xiao Xie was very enthusiastic. He not only lent money to the girl, but also took the girl's mother to the hospital for an examination, helping to queue up for registration, get the test report, and so on.The girl is full of gratitude to him.She thought to herself, when she got paid, she must treat him to dinner and thank him well.

After the girl was paid, she wanted to pay back the money to Xiao Xie, but Xiao Xie insisted not to, saying that she had just started working, and if she paid him back, she would not even have living expenses.Xiao Xie understands the girl's current situation very well, because he also came from a poor place. When he graduated, he was penniless and life was very difficult.

The girl didn't want to owe him a favor, but she didn't have any extra money on hand, so she paid Xiao Xie 500 yuan first.Later, because of a mistake at work, the girl offended the client and was almost fired by the boss.Xiao Xie took the initiative to go to the client's side again, recovering the loss for the unit and keeping the job for the girl.

After the salary was paid in the second month, the girl planned to return the remaining 500 yuan to Xiao Xie, but Xiao Xie still said that she was not in a hurry and was determined not to.In fact, Xiao Xie just really wanted to help this girl. He felt that it was not easy for her to work alone in other places.Unexpectedly, the more he helped her, the more she seemed to avoid him on purpose.In the past, they often chatted during lunch, but now they hardly talk.

One day, when the girl was writing a work summary, she didn't know how to write it, so she asked other colleagues for advice. At this time, Xiao Xie heard it and came over to tell the girl, but the girl refused, saying that she knew how to write it.

Xiao Xie asked the girl why she refused his help, and she said she didn't want to owe him too much.She said that she knew he was a good man, and if she didn't have a boyfriend, she could be his girlfriend to repay him.

Hearing the girl's explanation, Xiao Xie realized that the help he gave her had created psychological pressure on her.He never thought of asking her to repay him, let alone asking her to be his girlfriend, because he already had a girlfriend.

It seemed that the girl was thinking too much, but when he thought about it, his tireless efforts to help the girl inevitably made her feel that he had other plans.

Many people think that the more you give in interpersonal communication, the happier the other party will be, and the closer your relationship with others will be, but this is not the case!The theory of interpersonal communication believes that the communication between people should conform to the principle of balance.When you pay more and get less, the other party will find a way to repay you.If you do too much, too much, to others, they will feel that they cannot repay, and expect to do similar things for you one day.But before repaying the favor, the other party will choose to leave or alienate you temporarily, because he can't afford the unpaid debt, and he will feel a sense of suffocation.

No matter how selfish a person is, he is unwilling to owe others.If you don't want to alienate your relationship, then don't turn your relationship with others into a "creditor" and "debtor" relationship.

In addition, when you give blindly without considering other people's feelings, others will think that you must have other plans, just like Xiao Xie in the above story, he really wants to help female colleagues, but female colleagues think He has a good impression of himself, wants to pursue her, and has ulterior motives for her.

So, if you want to help others, and you want to maintain a long-term relationship with others, you might as well reduce the frequency of your helping others, or ask him to do you a small favor at an appropriate time, so that he can repay you. It will prevent others from feeling indebted to you and feeling stressed, and finally choose to alienate you.If you deprive others of the right to "return", it will give the other party the feeling that you will be his "creditor" forever. Of course, no one can accept this kind of thing.

The theory of interpersonal communication believes that the communication between people should conform to the principle of balance. When you pay more and get less, the following two situations will occur:
First, if you do too much favor to others, if it is too outdated, the other party will feel that you cannot repay your kindness, so there will be a kind of "thank you for your kindness", and you will look forward to a certain day. Sex returns your kindness, but before he returns, he will leave you temporarily.

Second, being too kind to the other party will make the other party feel numb to this kind of affection. After a long time, you will not feel how good you are to him.As the saying goes: "A bucket of rice raises a benefactor, and a stone of rice raises an enemy." This sentence tells us that if you are kind to others, he will appreciate you and repay you; if you are too kind to the other party, it exceeds the limit , the other party will be numb, and when you fail to meet the original standard for a certain time, the other party will be unhappy.

Therefore, there must be certain boundaries between people and people.For a normal person, independence and devotion are both psychological needs, and they all pursue a balanced, relaxed, and free psychological space, and they don't want their relationship with others to be too unbalanced.If there is only give or only take, then the relationship is unlikely to last.

When we do things, we should learn to leave room appropriately, because each other needs a little space in our hearts.If you want to help someone and want to maintain a long-term relationship with him, then you should give others a chance at an appropriate time, so that they can repay you, so as not to alienate the relationship between the two parties because of inner pressure.Give each other a chance to breathe, let each other breathe freely and freely, so as not to suffocate each other's soul.

save face

People have always been very concerned about face, and face is a person's self-esteem in the final analysis.

When something happens to the other party that makes him unable to step down, you need to take the initiative to leave a step for the other party to let him step down.In this way, the face of the other party is maintained, and they will be grateful for your move.

People are very sensitive to things that hurt face. Maybe you accidentally hurt someone's self-esteem, and you have long forgotten, but the person you hurt will never forget.Therefore, in some trivial matters that have nothing to do with gain or loss, you must know how to maintain the face of others, and don't let them down.

A customer came to a mall and asked for a return.She bought a dress more than a week ago and said that the quality of the dress was not good and she didn't like it.Although the labels on the clothes hadn't been cut off, the salesperson found traces of dry cleaning on the clothes.According to the store's regulations, all used products cannot be returned after one week, unless the damage caused by the clothes itself is replaced by other similar products.

The customer insisted that she hadn't worn it, and the salesperson knew she was lying, but if she said she was lying directly, the other party would feel ashamed and embarrassed.Maybe it will cause a war of words.

At this time, the salesperson said to the customer very gently: "I know you may not have worn it. I would like to know if your family has taken this dress to dry cleaning, because I have also experienced this. Not long ago I Bought a new dress and put it on the couch with other clothes, and my mother didn't know it, so she put them in the washing machine together. So, maybe this happened to you too, if you don't believe it, you can watch Look at this place." As he spoke, the salesperson pointed out the dry-cleaning marks on the clothes.

When the customer saw this mark, he immediately lowered his head and said, "It's also possible! Maybe my husband took it for dry cleaning. I don't know. I'm sorry! Then replace it with another one!"

This clever salesperson had actually seen through the customer's lies a long time ago, but instead of exposing her directly, he first prepared a step for the other party, and then let the other party get off the stage smoothly.In this case, customers with a guilty conscience will no longer insist, and will be grateful to the salesperson.

Many times, when people lie, they will look for various excuses to justify themselves. If the other party's mistake is irrelevant to you, then it is better to find an excuse for him first.He will be grateful to you, and if you insist on exposing his lies with an eye for an eye, it will only make the situation worse and make people hate you to the bone.You must know that speaking in consideration of the other party's face will make people feel guilty and take the initiative to correct their mistakes.

We all value our own face, which is equal to dignity and image. This may be caused by a kind of self-esteem and vanity that people are born with.Therefore, everyone pays special attention to their own image in front of everyone, so as to make themselves have "face".

However, there are often some things in life that make us lose face, such as admitting the wrong person or saying the wrong thing; accidentally hiccupping in a public place; The embarrassing things that show people are discovered by others and so on.At this time, we will become extremely embarrassed, and we can't wait to find a hole in the ground.If you are ridiculed by the other party at this time, you must hate him deeply, and feel that the other party is a person who gloats at other people's misfortune and adds trouble to others; on the contrary, if the other party pretends to be stupid at this time, saying that he didn't see anything, or laughing about it, you They will take advantage of the situation to step down, save their own face, maintain their self-esteem, and be grateful to the other party.

Therefore, when something happens to the other party that makes him unable to step down, you need to take the initiative to leave a step for the other party to let him step down.In this way, the face of the other party is maintained, and they will be grateful for your move.

For example, we often see things we shouldn't see and hear things we shouldn't hear, causing embarrassment to ourselves and others.How would you handle this situation?
Zhang Yue was studying Chinese at a well-known university in the south. Among the teachers he taught was a handsome male professor in his early 50s.The professor is not only knowledgeable, but also humorous and humorous. He often talks about the past and the present with the students. He is an idol in the hearts of the female students in the class.Many girls took the initiative to approach him, hoping to get his support and advice, and Zhang Yue was one of them.

One day, she asked two close female classmates to go to the professor's house to ask questions.When she reached the door of the professor's house, Zhang Yue stretched out her hand to knock on the door, but found that the door was ajar, so she gently pushed it open, only to see a scene that stunned her: the professor was inside the room, kissing a girl.And that girl is his student.Seeing their unexpected appearance, the professor's hand loosened and dropped like an electric shock, and his face instantly turned pale.

The two sides stood like this, although it was only for a few seconds, it was as long as a century, and the air was as silent as death.

"What should I do?" Zhang Yue was engaged in a fierce ideological struggle.Pretend not to see and leave quickly?Or go forward to persuade tactfully?Report it to the school leaders or publicize it, so that he will be punished or even ruined?These thoughts flashed through her mind quickly.The professor is not this kind of person, he may just be confused for a while.Zhang Yue knows that the professor has a wife that he loves deeply and loves him deeply. His wife teaches in another university in the same city. They have a lively and lovely daughter who is about to graduate from college. This is a happy and perfect family , their families and the quality of the professors have always had a good reputation in the school.

After only a few seconds of hesitation and pause, Zhang Yue walked in calmly, stood in front of the professor, and said with a smile on his face: "Professor, we are all your students, you can't be partial, you can kiss me too." How about a moment?"

The professor woke up immediately.He gently hugged Zhang Yue and kissed her forehead. At that moment, she saw something moist and shining in the professor's eyes.

Many years have passed, and the professor still has a beautiful family and a good reputation. He studies and writes more diligently, and has achieved extremely fruitful results.When Zhang Yue graduated, the professor sent her a greeting card with only one sentence: "I am forever grateful for your kindness and wisdom. You saved me."

Zhang Yue saw a scene that he shouldn't have seen. Generally, we don't know how to deal with this kind of situation, because the relationship is very delicate.But Zhang Yue's cleverness is that through his own actions, he made the professor's unreasonable behavior reasonable, gave the professor a new level, and relaxed the tense atmosphere.

Remember, people want to save face.When you maintain other people's face, it is equivalent to giving them the best gift. He will definitely have a good impression of you and be grateful to you.If necessary, you should try to help others out of embarrassing situations as much as possible.

Don't underestimate the "little people" around you

To knock on the door of the big man, it is often necessary to pay attention to the little man who keeps the door.

These little people usually don't show their mountains and dews, but when it comes to critical moments, they may become blockbusters that affect the overall situation and determine life and death.

Many people have a big weakness, they are vulgar and snobbish, they often judge people by their appearance, and look down on the little people, but they are often calculated by the little people and fall into the hands of the little people!Little do they know that to knock on the door of the big man, it is often necessary to pay attention to the little man who guards the door.

When sales expert Meng Zhaochun was a new insurance salesman, his first target was Mr. Yu of a real estate company in Hainan.First of all, Meng Zhaochun wrote two letters to Mr. Yu, but there was no news.After he wrote the third letter, he went to the company to find Mr. Yu himself.Ms. Chen, the front desk of the company, received Meng Zhaochun.Meng Zhaochun thought: Ms. Chen might be able to help. Three days later, he brought a small gift to Ms. Chen and told her: "President Yu, I hope you can tell him when it is convenient for you." Ms. Chen nodded in agreement. up.Later, she told Meng Zhaochun: "Mr. Meng, it seems useless for you to see our president Yu. Although our president Yu is very rich, he doesn't seem to be very interested in insurance."

Meng Zhaochun hurriedly said: "Thank you, I want to ask you, what do you think should be done?" Ms. Chen said: "I think you might as well go and meet our President Wu, who is the vice president of our company, and He is the chief financial officer of our company. He manages money and has some influence over our boss. He is in the company, do you want to meet him?"

Ms. Chen called Mr. Wu, she was very good at talking, and after one call, Mr. Wu agreed without saying a word.Meng Zhaochun happily ran in with his bag, and Ms. Chen said, "Hey, come back. Let me tell you, Mr. Wu is also a fellow from Northeast China." Just such a sentence, before Meng Zhaochun arrived at the door, he knew it in his heart. What to say in the first sentence when you meet.In this way, he met the fellow director.Subsequent progress has been much smoother.

However, when Meng Zhaochun was thinking about it, he suddenly received a call from Ms. Chen.She said: "Mr. Meng, if you want to do that, hurry up. In the past two days, the salesman of another insurance company seems to have a background."

Later, Meng Zhaochun successfully signed a million-dollar order with the boss.After the success of this matter, he felt that he was lucky to know this Miss Chen, and he did not forget to build the surrounding fortifications before capturing the fortress, which obviously came in handy at this time.Although she is at the three-foot counter with limited space, the "power" in the three-foot counter at critical moments is unlimited.

The American Hollywood comedy movie "The Mousecatcher", this movie is very classic and worth pondering over and over again.It is very instructive to us.One of the revelations is: don't underestimate a small bug, even a small cockroach or a small mouse or other inconspicuous small animals.Of course, this is just a symbolic statement.If it is interpreted as any famous big man, don't ignore a seemingly inconspicuous little man.These little people may not be able to greatly help your career, but they are extremely capable of destroying your career.

Many treacherous and cunning politicians in history are well aware of this principle. Since ancient times, there has been a saying that "the prime minister's family slave is a seven-rank official".For example, it is common for official documents to be backlogged in officialdom, and some may even last for ten days and a half months, and some may last for a year and a half.

The official documents submitted by the military command were delayed with Chiang Kai-shek, and Dai Li dared not destroy them.But the cleaning lady has such a convenience. When she cleans Chiang Kai-shek's office, she just needs to dig out the official documents of the military command from the pile of documents and put them on it, and everything will be fine.No matter how powerful Dai Li's subordinates were, they did not dare to enter Chiang Kai-shek's office at will. This matter was none other than her.Dai Li is not someone who can follow Chiang Kai-shek all the time, and the profession of these people is to serve Chiang Kai-shek.Chiang Kai-shek's behavioral and emotional changes cannot be hidden from the eyes of these people.However, for Dai Li, the role of this information is not the most important.For this reason, when Dai Li was the head of the military command, he would send people to give gifts to the servants, concierges, maids, or clerks in the presidential palace every year and festival, and greatly win over them. With Chiang Kai-shek every day, career becomes a kind of convenience, sometimes more useful than power.

Never underestimate the little people around you, it is very important to have a good relationship with them.These people usually don't show their mountains and dews, but when it comes to critical moments, they may become blockbusters that affect the overall situation and determine life and death.And little people are usually very low self-esteem, the more low self-esteem people care about the so-called "self-esteem".You may inadvertently offend them only a little bit, but they think it is a great insult to them, and then do everything in their power to retaliate against you.But you respect and respect them, they are easily moved.To learn to make friends with small people, one more friend is one more way.Maybe tomorrow, you will be rewarded double.Maybe the little people are the noble people in your life.

The heart of harming others is indispensable, and the heart of preventing others is indispensable

Even an abyss has a bottom, but a person's mind cannot be guessed.

All hatred, all evil intentions have one characteristic: that is, they will harm themselves before they really harm others.

As the saying goes: "You must not have the heart to harm others, and you must not have the heart to guard against others. The deep ditch will eventually have a bottom, but the human heart is unpredictable." It must be there; because even an abyss has a bottom, but a person's mind is unpredictable, and the so-called "people's hearts are separated from the belly" is the truth.

Once upon a time there was a farmer who had an enmity with his neighbor because of a trivial matter.This man is narrow-minded, always looking for an opportunity to get revenge on his neighbors.But after much deliberation, the farmer couldn't find a suitable opportunity for revenge.So the farmer was very depressed and depressed all day long.

One day, a wise man passed by and saw the farmer sitting in front of his house depressed. He asked, "Why are you so unhappy? What's on your mind?"

The farmer replied: "The neighbor had a conflict with me, and I was very angry. I thought that this revenge must be avenged, but after much deliberation, I couldn't think of a good way, so I was always angry and troubled."

The wise man laughed and said, "It's very simple. I can teach you a spell. As long as you learn it, you can kill your neighbors. However, if you want this spell to work, you must die first." .Are you willing? I think you should not want it, lest you die before your enemy is harmed."

The farmer has been dazzled by hatred. He wants his neighbor to die immediately, so he can't wait to say: "Please tell me this spell! I am eager to revenge, as long as my enemy can die, I am willing to die myself first."

The wise man taught the farmer the spell.As a result, the farmer paid his own life for revenge, and died himself before his enemy died.

Hate is just that scary.All hatred, all evil intentions have one characteristic: that is, they will harm themselves before they really harm others.It can be seen that there should be no intention of harming others.

In fact, in the process of interpersonal communication, interpersonal communication is mutual, not one-way; it is long-term, not temporary. , only thinking about murdering others will eventually harm oneself.The harmer harms others and benefits himself. Maybe because of the clever and concealed means, the harmer can temporarily achieve his goal, but the fire cannot be wrapped in paper. There will be no eternal secrets in this world. When the truth comes out, the harmer will be ruined At that time, such examples can be seen everywhere.It can be seen that harming others will eventually harm oneself, and those who harm others will definitely not have good results.When a victimizer pushes others into danger, it is difficult for him to get rid of the responsibility.Therefore, "Don't have the intention of harming others", don't be malicious to others, and don't keep thinking about how to harm others.

Of course, although you can’t have the intention of harming others, you can’t have the desire to guard against others. The most difficult thing to figure out in the world is human psychology, especially in a modern society where competition is becoming more and more fierce. If we are unprepared, then we may be harmed miserably.As the saying goes: "People's hearts are separated from their belly", which is the truth.

Mr. Li was traveling alone, and met a passenger who hit it off on the plane.After the plane landed, the two got off the plane together and claimed their luggage together.

Before going through the customs, the new friend said to Mr. Li: "I have too much luggage, can you please help me take one."

Mr. Li thought to himself that he didn't have many things anyway, so he took them over with one hand.But what Mr. Li didn't expect was that there were drugs hidden in that luggage bag.

We can imagine what happened next.Mr. Li was arrested by customs officers on charges of drug smuggling.

When he was taken away by the customs, Mr. Li yelled loudly at his "friend" who was still undergoing inspection at another gate, but the new "friend" said he didn't know him.

see that?This is the sinister part of the human heart.The human heart is always elusive.Human society is like a battlefield, where there are dangers everywhere, people and things cannot be trusted, and one must always be vigilant.This is true for strangers, and it is also true for acquaintances, you need to be more careful.Many people may have heard the saying: "There are no permanent friends, only permanent interests." Today's society is a society full of interests and competition, we can't really spy on a person's heart, so we should always have a " The heart of guarding against others".

All in all, "You must not have the heart to harm others, and you must not have the heart to guard against others." If you say it too big, it is the wisdom of being a human being, and if you say it too small, it is the scheming of life.When we are in the world, in the process of interpersonal communication, we will encounter various difficulties and things, and we will also face all kinds of people, but no matter what, we should not harm others, and of course we should not be unkind. Defenseless.

Rather than icing on the cake, it is better to give charcoal in the snow
Sending charcoal in the snow can pull people out of the fire pit and out of the predicament.

Giving specific help to people in trouble to tide them over, this kind of behavior of giving charcoal in a timely manner and solving problems is most likely to arouse the gratitude of the other party.

There is no smooth sailing in life, and there will always be many difficulties and hardships.When you encounter precipices and obstacles and are desperate, what you need is someone who can help you build bridges and ladders and send charcoal in the snow.The person who helps you at this time is your real friend.

Everyone has some needs in their hearts, some are urgent, some are not important, and if we can get help from others when we are in urgent need, we will be grateful in our hearts, and even we will never forget it.It is not enough to just have sympathy for people in trouble, and specific help should be given to make them tide over difficulties. This kind of behavior of giving charcoal in a timely manner and sharing worries and problems is most likely to arouse the gratitude of the other party, and then form friendship.

Before the Three Kingdoms struggle for hegemony, Zhou Yu was not satisfied.He used to be an official under the warlord Yuan Shu, and was appointed by Yuan Shu as a small nest chief, a magistrate of a small county.

At this time, there was a famine in the local area, the harvest was bad, and there was a lot of losses during the war, and the food problem became more and more serious.The people living in the nest had no food to eat, so they ate bark and grass roots. Many people died of starvation, and the soldiers were so hungry that they lost their combat effectiveness.Zhou Yu, as a parent officer, saw this tragic situation and was flustered, not knowing what to do.

Someone suggested that there was a benevolent rich man nearby, Lu Su. His family was always rich, and he must have hoarded a lot of food, so it is better to borrow from him.

Zhou Yu brought his men to visit Lu Su. Just after the greetings, Zhou Yu said directly: "To tell you the truth, my brother is here to borrow some food."

Lu Su saw that Zhou Yufeng was handsome and handsome, and he was obviously a talented person who would become a great talent in the future. He didn't care that Zhou Yu was just a small nest leader now, so he laughed and said, "This is a trivial matter, I promise to do it."

Lu Su personally took Zhou Yu to inspect the granaries. At that time, the Lu family had two granaries, each with [-] dans of grain. Lu Su said cheerfully, "Don't worry about borrowing or not. I'll give you one of the granaries. "Zhou Yu and his subordinates were stunned when they heard that he was so generous. You must know that in times of famine, food is life!Zhou Yu was deeply moved by Lu Su's words and deeds, and the two became friends immediately.

Later, Zhou Yu became prosperous and became a general. He kept Lu Su's kindness in mind and recommended him to Sun Quan. Lu Su finally got the opportunity to make a career.

People always have a special affection for those who give charcoal in need.A certain lady said: "I have a friend who will always show up every time I need help. For example: I need a car for urgent matters or when I am late for work. As long as I make a phone call, he will definitely be there. Said to respond to every request. Once the incident was over, we were busy with our own business. When it comes to Chinese New Year, I always can't forget to send him a greeting card and call him to wish him a New Year."

Giving charcoal in a timely manner and icing on the cake can all be favored, but their value is very different.Sending charcoal in the snow can pull people out of the fire pit and make them out of trouble.It is also as if you are about to die of thirst in the desert and someone else gives you a life-saving oasis.But in terms of inner feelings, it is completely different to give a steamed bun to a person who is on the verge of starvation and a mountain of gold to a rich person.Two people who share the same temperament can make friends.People who have a certain hobby are very excited when they meet someone with the same hobby, thinking it is a great joy in life.Therefore, if you want to be human, you should have insight into the samadhi.

In interpersonal communication, you should also master some methods to send charcoal in a timely manner, so as to make your charcoal delivery more timely.

(1) People who drink enough well water often leave the well, so you should moderately control it to make him always a little thirsty so that he can feel dependent on you.Once he loses his dependence on you, he may no longer be respectful to you.

(2) Too much kindness to others will make the other party feel inferior and even hate you, because firstly, he cannot repay you; secondly, he will feel incompetent, which will lead to negative emotions.

Meeting each other is not as long as regular meeting
In many cases, meeting for a long time is not as good as meeting more times.

Meeting more times can increase the familiarity between each other and generate stronger attraction to each other.

There is a common misconception: Most people think that the longer the conversation, the faster they can get acquainted with others.In fact, instead of trying to lengthen the time of chatting with strangers, it is better to increase the frequency of meeting between two people, that is, the so-called meeting is not as long as regular meeting.Because people tend to have a biased and fond mentality towards familiar things, they tend to have a good impression of more familiar people. If you want to turn strangers into friends, you need to use the psychological effect of looking more, so that the other party "more" See" you, know you, and like you.

Have you ever had such an experience, when you are among a group of strangers, the person who often appears in front of you will leave a deep impression on you, slowly, your eyes will be attracted by him, and you will feel that he is better than others More attractive.

This actually confirms the "more-watching effect" in psychology.The effect of looking more comes from an experiment conducted by psychologist Charonz. Before the experiment began, he prepared some photos of strangers, and then showed these photos to the subjects.In the process, he did this. He showed the photos of one of them more than [-] times, and the photos of the other more than a dozen times, and so on... Finally, he asked the people who saw the photos to agree. Comment on photos you like.As a result, the more people who participated in the experiment saw a certain photo, the more they liked the person in this photo.In other words, they prefer the person in the familiar photo they have seen more than twenty times.Apparently, watching more increases liking.This phenomenon of liking familiar things more and more is defined as "more viewing effect".

The multi-view effect does not only appear in psychological experiments, but also in life, we can often find this phenomenon.For example, among our new acquaintances there are sometimes unattractive ones.At first, we may think that this person is ugly, but after seeing this person many times, we gradually no longer find him ugly, and sometimes even find him attractive in some ways.This is also the reason why more exchanges between relatives and friends can enhance the relationship, otherwise they will gradually become alienated.In addition, if you observe carefully, you may find that people who often appear around the leader are often more liked by the leader.This is also the multi-view effect at work.

Through another experiment, another social psychologist confirmed the above point.In a female dormitory building of a university, psychologists randomly found several dormitories, gave them drinks of different flavors, and then asked the girls in these dormitories to walk among these dormitories on the grounds of tasting drinks , but not talking when meeting.After a period of time, psychologists evaluated the degree of familiarity and liking between them, and found that: the more times they meet, the greater the degree of mutual liking; the less or no times of meeting, the lower the degree of mutual liking .

This is the "more viewing effect" at work.Meeting more times, even if the time is not long, can also increase mutual familiarity, goodwill, and intimacy.On the contrary, if the number of meetings is small, even if the time is long, it is difficult to eliminate the feeling of unfamiliarity due to the long interval, and may even cause friction due to the long time spent together.

Obviously, in many cases, meeting for a long time is not as good as meeting frequently.

Because of this understanding, a salesman selling group insurance achieved good results.

Everyone knows that if you want to get group insurance from a company, you have to convince the leaders of the company, but these leaders are usually too busy to sit down and chat.Therefore, the general salesman, as long as he meets a leader who has a little free time, he will hold on to it. As a result, although it is a long talk, it arouses the other party's disgust and leads to the failure of sales.

But this successful salesman is different. He doesn't ask for a long meeting time with the customer, but only asks for more meetings.As long as he saw that he was very busy, he would leave quickly. The other party was grateful and had a good impression of him. After doing this repeatedly, the other party was moved and agreed to take out the insurance.

The story of this salesman is very instructive: If you want to shorten the distance with the other party and increase the degree to which the other party likes you, you might as well create more opportunities to meet.

It can be seen that if you want to enhance interpersonal attraction, you must pay attention to improving your familiarity in front of others, which can increase the degree to which others like you.So how do we achieve the goal of letting others "see more" of us?We think the first point is to increase image exposure.

In order to gain more popularity, celebrities will always try their best to increase their exposure rate, which can be described as the lifeblood of those stars who have not yet become popular.why?Because high exposure will produce a multi-view effect, making more people pay attention to them and like them.In reality, we should also follow this example to increase our exposure to strangers.Of course, we are not stars, without media publicity, what we can rely on is our own wisdom and skills.

Attend all important occasions you can.If you are invited to an important occasion and you happen to have the time, by all means do so.On these occasions, you can't just sit or listen to other people's opinions. You have to smile and greet others at the right time, and communicate more with others.And when it is suitable for you to display your talents, you should seize the opportunity to perform and let more people have an impression of you.

Similarly, if you want to win the attention and attention of your boss, when you report to your boss, report a lot at a time, it is better to report frequently.

There is a famous management saying that goes like this: The reports of subordinates are always less than the expectations of their superiors.Bosses expect more reports from subordinates.Because the timely reporting of subordinates can make the boss feel that everything is under his control.

Usually, some subordinates think that if they report to their superiors frequently, it is better to report for a longer period of time so that they can have in-depth conversations with their superiors.This statement is not unreasonable.However, the boss is usually very busy, and it is not easy to find a suitable time for a long report to the boss.Moreover, the long reporting time may not be effective.On the contrary, if you report frequently, you have more contacts with your boss, and you have more opportunities to report your achievements to your boss and show your ability. Isn't it more likely that your boss will understand you and promote you?

For this reason, you should report to your boss at any time: when the work is completed, report immediately; when the work has progressed to a certain extent, report on time;

Of course, the "more viewing effect" is not the master key.The premise for it to work is that the primacy effect is better, that is, the first impression is not very bad. If the first impression is bad, then the more you meet, the more annoying you will be. Disgusted", then the gain outweighs the loss.Therefore, the premise of everything is to recognize yourself, straighten it out, and then show it to others.

It is better to offend ten gentlemen than to offend a small person
A gentleman rises up when he disagrees with the case, but a villain is good at revenge behind his back.

A real villain is a low-grade scoundrel, but a hypocrite is a high-end villain!

A gentleman's deception of goodness is no different from that of a villain;It means that if you pretend to be a good gentleman, you are no different from a villain who wants to do evil;

In this world, mediocre villains have no real talents, but with the ability to make salty fish swim and dead people to speak, they are proud of themselves and have a bright future.There is an old Chinese saying that goes, "To learn how to do things, one must first learn to be a man."Since ancient times, those who know how to do things are not as good as those who know how to behave. Those who run into walls and go through ups and downs must be gentlemen who do not understand the world;

It is easy to dodge an open spear, but it is difficult to guard against an arrow in the dark.Don't offend the villain, and don't let the villain grasp the handle, so that you won't capsize in the gutter.People have experienced so many things that they can't sleep and eat because they are wary of villains, so the ancients passed down a sentence to warn future generations-it is better to offend a gentleman than to offend a villain.Some people extended the basis of this sentence, and it became another sentence-it is better to offend ten gentlemen than to offend a small person.It can be seen that the ancients who said these words had suffered from villains, so they said that they could not afford to offend them.

Why "it is better to offend ten gentlemen than to offend a small person"?This is because a gentleman will reflect on himself and not care about you; but a villain will remember you for a long time and will never forgive you.A gentleman rises up when he disagrees with the case, but a villain is good at revenge behind his back.If we offend a gentleman, we also know why and how to remedy it.We offend the villain, but let us fall into the clouds, and we will not be able to remember who it is if we are harmed one day.I offended a gentleman, but instead made a friend. A gentleman is reasonable and doesn't hold grudges.If you offend a villain, you will have another enemy, and there will be no peace for a moment.

However, what we need to be most wary of is not villains, but hypocrites.This is because hypocrites tend to hide the deepest. They are either taciturn and appear as if they have a city in their hearts, or they pretend to be warm and sincere, as if they are the best friends in the world with you, and they will do anything for you.As everyone knows, this is the place that deceives you the most, we must remain vigilant!

The image of the hypocrite Yue Buqun in "Swordsman" must impress you deeply.Yue Buqun has traveled the rivers and lakes for more than 20 years, behaved upright and open-minded everywhere, and won the reputation of "Gentleman's Sword".But with the development of the plot, his hypocrite side is gradually exposed: under the banner of saving people in distress, he accepts Lin Pingzhi as a disciple, acquiesces and even promotes the marriage of his daughter and Lin Pingzhi, but the purpose is to get "Evil Exorcising Sword" In the end, Lin Pingzhi was put to death regardless of the lifelong happiness of his daughter;Later, the image of Junzijian collapsed, revealing the face of a hypocrite.

Hypocrisy people like Yue Buqun have to put on an appearance of a gentleman from time to time. There is a huge contrast between their inner world and their outer appearance, even contradictions.It can be seen that a hypocrite is a level higher than a real villain.A real villain is a low-grade scoundrel, but a hypocrite is a high-end villain!Dealing with such people is better than being friends with those real villains who have changed their past.

Xiao Wang is the planning director of a company.Once, he was inexplicably criticized by his boss and felt wronged in his heart, so he poured out bitterness to his colleague Xiao Zhao.Xiao Zhao was considerate, expressed his understanding to him, and at the same time lamented the boss's bad deeds, which made Xiao Wang feel warm in his heart, so the two were as warm as a pair of brothers.

A few days later, Xiao Wang was summoned by his boss as soon as he entered the company, announcing that he would be dismissed from the post of planning director and replaced by Xiao Zhao.Xiao Wang couldn't accept such a decision, so he resigned in frustration!It was only later that I found out that Xiao Zhao secretly sued him behind his back and told his boss what they had said that day.The boss happened to like to listen to and believe in others, so he decided to let Xiao Zhao take his place in the company. Xiao Zhao has been jealous of this position for a long time!In the face of fame, wealth and scheming, friendship is so vulnerable!
Xiao Zhao in the story is a standard hypocrite. On the surface, he fights fiercely with others, as if he can "throw his head and shed blood", but suddenly he will be stabbed in the back, making you die very ugly.This shows that a hypocrite is more terrible than a real villain.Real villains are easy to distinguish. They may be unreasonable, or tricky, brutal, and nakedly mean and shameless. Let us smell them before we see them, and have enough time to be on guard in advance.A hypocrite is different, wearing a mask of decency, saying and doing things quite "reasonably", making it difficult for you to tell the truth from the fake, and very easy to be deceived.

Therefore, when interacting with people, the following types of people need to be more vigilant and should not be taken lightly.

1. sinister person
There are no obvious signs of insidious people. Under normal circumstances, it is not easy to distinguish in a short period of time, but as time goes by, clues will eventually appear.The performance of insidious people generally has the following characteristics.

I like to spread rumors.They take making rumors and making troubles a routine, and they never get tired of it.In order to achieve their own goals, they will not hesitate to slander others and slander their reputation.

Like to sow discord.In order to achieve the purpose of seeking personal benefits, they usually use the method of alienation to stir up the feelings between friends, so as to reap the benefits from it.

Good at flattery.This kind of person has a sweet mouth, is good at complimenting others, flattering, and speaks ill of others out of nothing.

Has a snobbish eye.They take great care of the powerful and powerful. Once they find that the backer they are attached to is transferred away from here or has problems and collapses suddenly, they will make trouble, quickly abandon each other, and find another high branch.

2. Braggart
There are many vain people in society who like to brag and try to elevate themselves through bragging.People who brag are hypocritical because bragging is tantamount to lying, and lies are easily exposed.In today's society, deception cannot last long, and true skills are ultimately needed.

If you have to deal with a braggart, agree with him and show your appreciation.For example, when complimenting him in front of his friends, you can say it in his face or when he is not around.Or talk less, just listen quietly, and nod at the right time.If you don't have to associate with him, then try to keep as little contact as possible!

3. The jealous person
In life, those who care too much about the glory and success of others can develop jealousy.Driven by jealousy, it is possible to commit heinous crimes.Advice to those who are jealous - "It is better to retreat and form a net than to envy fish in the Yuanyuan". Only by correcting your mentality and fighting bravely can you have your own honor and success!

4. An unfilial person
As the saying goes: "Filial piety comes first." If a person doesn't even love his parents, then his attitude towards his friends will definitely not be very good.Although people's life pressure in modern society is increasing and market awareness is becoming stronger and stronger, the relationship between parents and family cannot be measured by money.

For those who are unfilial and shameless, we must remember the saying that "unfilial parents are not worthy of being friends".Because a person who is not even filial to his own parents, don’t expect him to show true affection to his friends. Even if he treats you well at the moment, it’s because of his interests. Sooner or later, one day, he will make you regret your friendship today!
(End of this chapter)