let me look at you

Chapter 10 Eleven Years Have Passed, and I Can't Live Through This Life (11)
The elevator door opened, and Han Shu quickly said: "Sister Yilin, you are so kind." He stepped into the elevator, and on the way to pick up the car, he walked in a hurry, and everyone who saw him Said: "Han Shu, are you in a rush for a date?" He smiled all the time, but when he got in the car, he became confused, where are we going?Where is he going in such a hurry?Zhu Xiaobei has something to do in the laboratory tonight, and they have only met for a few days.When he returned home, he was unwilling to accept nagging from his parents who were overly concerned.Let's go shopping, Han Shu said to himself, the weather in the evening is good, the wind will open up your heart a lot, and then go to the tea restaurant he likes for a simple dinner, and the day will be over.

With that in mind, he started the car and immediately drove into the river of cars.At this time, on the roads of the city, one car after another is so dense that even flies cannot fly in.He went left and right, and he didn't know why, so he arrived at the fabric shop that he had visited twice recently.

Han Shu didn't park very close, and parked at the side of the road diagonally opposite the fabric shop at a distance.Thanks to his 5.2 eyesight, through the huge floor-to-ceiling windows of the fabric shop, he saw the strange but familiar body, and it turned out that she was there.

There seemed to be a few customers in the store, probably around dinner time, and there were a lot fewer clerks, just her and another girl.She lowered her head in front of the counter and didn't know what she was looking at. A few strands of short hair hung down to cover her face, but Han Shu could see her appearance without eyes. Exuding seriousness, it looks extremely serious, maybe he is wandering in a daze.Why is he so sure?Does he understand her?Is he imagining the real her, or a Xie Junian in his fantasy?

After a while, probably hearing another clerk's call, she put down the things at hand, walked to the customer, and then gave a long introduction and explanation.During this process, she kept smiling, and the small deep dimple on her cheek finally appeared.

When she laughed, she looked like a white rabbit. Han Shu imagined that she had a pair of long ears on top of her head, and finally laughed happily.

That day, she was led by Zhu Xiaobei to him, and said quietly: "Is there no suitable one? Do you want me to recommend some to you?" Was that expression the same as that of her face when she faced any stranger? customer?

It was getting dark soon, the lights in the fabric shop were on, warm yellow, Han Shu's car turned into a dark place instead, he doesn't like darkness, but now he doesn't feel it at all.The customer who bought the item she wanted went away satisfied. She chatted with her colleagues for a while, and after another half an hour, she disappeared for a while, and when she reappeared in the store, she carried her big bag and changed into an orange work uniform. , After work, she is coming over.

When Han Shu realized this, he wanted to shrink under the seat, he was completely unprepared to meet Xie Junian here, but damn seat belt, why is he still wearing it now?Before he could successfully hide himself, Xie Ju Nian had already walked past his silver-white Subaru Forester, and he didn't even have time to roll up the window.

Han Shu was so nervous that he couldn't be more nervous. Could he say that he was waiting for someone?Who are you waiting for?Waiting for someone he doesn't know who it is?Would she laugh at him?Or will you stare at him coldly?
However, when Xie Ju Nian walked past, she kept her eyes fixed on him, as if nothing had happened, she walked unhurriedly, when she passed him, it was like passing an old lamp post, or an unremarkable trash can by the side of the road.

She didn't notice him at all.

After Han Shu got nervous, he was disappointed, like a martyr who died generously, he had finished shouting his magnificent slogans, but the enemy said: "Sorry, I caught the wrong person." But what's so strange about it? Even a stone might be deformed, let alone a person, she wouldn't recognize him...

In this way, after Xie Ju Nian walked away for 100 meters, Han Shu slowly started the car and followed him. If he was far away, he would lose track of him. If he was close, she might find out.

Xie Ju Nian was waiting for the bus, looking for the bus card for a long time, he was anxious, and then watched her finally get into the crowded bus.After thirteen stops, she walked down near an urban-rural fringe area that had just been included in the urban area, walked to a small shop on the side of the road, said hello to the boss, took a bottle of milk, and walked for 5 minutes. Disappeared behind an old iron gate of a red brick wall fence.

To be honest, Han Shu seldom came to this kind of place after work. When he left, his wheels almost hit the reed chicken raised by some resident. The children playing on the side of the road looked at his car curiously. Looking back in the breath of fireworks in the world, she actually lived here again.

From this day on, Han Shu seemed to be possessed by a demon. After work, or even when he was out alone on errands, he would sneak around behind Xie Junian and follow her whereabouts furtively. He also felt that he was behaving suspiciously. It's really wretched, but it's like an addiction.In less than half a month, Han Shu actually got a general idea of ​​Xie Junian's daily whereabouts.

One, three, five are day shifts, two, four, and six are evening shifts, and she can probably have a day off on weekends.Almost every day, she takes the No. 85 bus across the city, going back and forth between her work place and her residence.During the day shift, she would pick up a bottle of milk from a small store near her residence when she came back, and go to work after drinking it during the evening shift.When she walked, she was as slow as ever, and she was obviously going to be late, and she was still swaying, unhurriedly.She is very serious at work, and has a good relationship with the employees. Customers are always satisfied with her service attitude, although Han Shu always feels that no matter how serious she looks, she is always absent-minded.After returning to the residence at night, she closed the iron gate, and usually would not appear outside the yard again.

He was like a pervert, peeking at a woman's ordinary life in the dark, without surprises or waves, she just repeated the track of the previous day day after day, and he followed step by step.Han Shu felt that he was impatient, but in the process, he never got bored, including sitting quietly in the car during the long time waiting for her to get off work.

Wang Guohua's case was getting closer and closer to being closed, and the time he stayed in the North City Branch was getting shorter and shorter. His colleagues were all wondering why his favorite Han Shu disappeared after get off work, and Cai Jian also scolded him. He, the little ghost who lost his soul.Han Shu played a rogue, saying that it was the cough medicine given by Cai Jian that caused him problems, and Cai Jian scolded him for being nonsensical.In order to worry that his car would frequently go in and out of Ju Nian to attract attention and reveal his behavior, Han Shu drove his own car for a few days, and then forcibly borrowed Cai Jian's Camry, and after a while, he exchanged cars with Lin Jing, the old man's Audi was also fully utilized by him twice.

Han Shu has lived so long, he has never been so shady, he feels that he has hidden well, at least she has never noticed a car behind him, and a person in the car.But one day half a month later, he stopped at the small shop near her residence again, waiting for her to pass by his car after get off work. He was really bored, so he rolled down the window and said to the owner of the small shop: "Trouble Give me a bottle of milk."

When the shopkeeper in his fifties passed the bottle of milk through the car window, he said suspiciously to Han Shu: "Young man, you change cars and park here every few days just to drink milk?"

Han Shu just took a sip at this time and almost choked on this sentence. How could he not know before that the vigilance of the people has become so high.He poured the milk into his stomach in three or five mouthfuls, quickly returned the bottle to the shopkeeper, rubbed his cheeks and smiled: "Yes, has no one praised your milk before?"

After he rolled up the car window, he felt flustered in embarrassment. Even the owner of the small shop saw him through. Xie Ju Nian really didn't know it from beginning to end?The secret he thought was just the emperor's new clothes?On what basis was she able to turn a blind eye and pass him by every day without even glancing at him from the corner of her eyes.He always tried to remember some small details of her, but almost forgot the most important point, he never really knew Xie Ju Nian, not even 11 years ago.

The store owner's unintentional words shattered Han Shu's absurd behavior of enjoying himself for a while, and the rationality that he stuffed under the car seat finally popped up and asked him: Han Shu, what do you want to do?
Yes, what exactly does he want to do?What's the point of following her day after day like this, no matter how long it takes, he still can't muster up the courage to step forward and say: Forgive me.But so what?Time is invisible and intangible, but it is definitely not an existence of nothingness. 11 years is a chasm, and no one can cross it as if nothing happened.No matter what psychology he has, no matter how many grievances and grievances from the past have been awakened by this reunion, he and Xie Ju Nian live on different tracks, he has no way to change anything, he can't do anything for her, no one can save anyone He knows better than anyone his own powerlessness.In fact, he and the person he was waiting for were nothing but strangers.

Han Shu said to himself, I just take a look, just take a look.See how she is doing, now that she has seen it and is satisfied, it's time to go.There is no better way out than this, 11 years have passed, is it still difficult for a lifetime?What is in the dream stays in the dream, and in reality, just forget each other in the floating clouds of this city.

One more look and I'm off.

It was the weekend, Xie Ju Nian came back later than usual, she was still carrying a big bag, stepping on ants at a leisurely pace.Alright, that's it, it's time to go, call Zhu Xiaobei later, and go have a drink together.

Han Shu started the engine, and this time, he suddenly hoped that this woman Xie Ju Nian would become as sharp-eyed as a small shop owner.But she didn't. A bag of things was accidentally dropped in a full supermarket shopping bag in her hand. A little girl walking beside her picked it up, glanced at the sky, and complained: " Can't you be more careful?"

Ju Nian casually stuffed the things back to the original place, and wrapped his arms around the girl: "What do you want to eat when you go home?"

The girl looked about ten years old, wearing a blue and white school uniform, her ponytail was tied up to her waist, and her face was beautiful.

The veins on Han Shu's forehead twitched suddenly. It was an extremely terrifying thought.

(End of this chapter)