let me look at you

Chapter 17 Say, say you're sorry

If you feel guilty, just say so.Han Shu, tell me, tell me you're sorry...why didn't you say it?Say you are wrong, say you confess to me, say you are sorry for me!
The sales promotion of the fabric store is still going on, and all the conspicuous places in the store are plastered with signs of [-]% off.Although the location of the shop is relatively remote, it still attracts a lot of customers because it is the weekend. Ju Nian is the leader of the day shift. He is so busy all morning that he almost has no time to drink water.

When Han Shu opened the door and came in at the peak of the customer base, he was obviously absent-minded, he didn't see the huge discount poster, and was quite taken aback by the rush of people in the store, he almost thought he had gone to the wrong place Son, exit and confirm again, only to be a little clear.

He has been to this store three times, except for the first time he met Xie Ju Nian with Zhu Xiaobei, the other two times, it was not a coincidence, Xie Ju Nian had just left after handing over a shift, or was taking a break, and he didn't see anyone. I couldn't bear to pick and choose for a long time and returned empty-handed, so I bought a lot of things at home.

Last night, Han Shu smoked two cigarettes in front of the bedroom window - he learned this in high school. At that time, he would hide in the toilet at school or at home and swallow it in the mirror while studying intensely. Clouds and fog, for which they were often criticized by Dean Han.Later, when I went to university, I was finally free to do what I liked, but somehow, my addiction to smoking disappeared.Now he has a pack of cigarettes in his pocket, and he often can’t finish it for a month. He only takes a puff when he encounters mood swings or works overtime all night. Most of the time, it is used to "honor" his investigation. Suspect gone.He also couldn't figure out why he suddenly had the desire to take two puffs last night. Is it out of special excitement or special irritability?But when he got up in the morning, he was surprised to find that the new curtains that had just been replaced had a finger-sized hole burned by soot, so he had to come here again early in the morning.

Xie Ju Nian seemed really busy. She first accompanied a bald, fat middle-aged man with a big smile to pick out a bed sheet with a horrible color.Han Shu dared to bet that the fat man embraced the new bed sheet he bought and looked at Xie Junian's satisfied expression, more out of yearning for the person lying on the bed sheet, it really made him sick once.After seeing off the fat man, Xie Ju Nian was summoned by a couple who seemed to want to buy everything, but they didn't seem to be satisfied with anything.Han Shudu wandered around the store for half an hour. The woman in the couple hadn't found the curtains she wanted. With her picky gestures and picky expressions, it was easy to make people think that what she was dealing with was not fabric, but rubbish. .That being the case, Han Shu was completely puzzled why she wasted her time here.

Han Shu pretended to be looking at the curtains, and slowly approached, the woman was still complaining, the gorgeous ones are too frivolous, the plain ones are too unlucky, the cartoon ones are too naive, and the lace ones are too complicated, just listen to her talking , Han Shu wanted to die, but Xie Ju Nian's smile was still as enthusiastic as ever. The strange thing was that she really didn't seem to be impatient at all.

"How about this, wife?"

"Oh, it's so transparent, people in the building opposite can see it, and there's no privacy at all."

When Han Shu heard this conversation, he thought of a certain joke very unkindly. If the people in the opposite building really accidentally saw the nude appearance of the hostess of this house, I believe they would consciously draw their curtains tight soon, and never again. Also don't want to open.He thought about it, and laughed to himself.The soft laughter caused the couple and Xie Junian to glance in his direction.

Han Shu clenched his fist with one hand and put it on his lips, pretended to cough, just to hide his smile, then, he also looked at the piece of fabric that the woman thought was transparent, showing a surprised expression, and said to himself: "This is not bad. Miss, how much is this per meter?"

Xie Ju Nian was a little surprised, but he cooperated quite well.She replied: "The discount is 65 yuan per meter, which is very favorable, sir. But the stock in the store is probably only enough for one window."

"It's okay, one window is enough." Han Shu's love for the curtains seemed sincere.

"This lady..."

"Obviously we were the first to come!" The woman quit, holding on to the curtain tightly, as if it would fly away if she let go, "Bill me, I want this."

"Oh, this... no problem, I'll take the two of you to the cashier." Ju Nian also seemed a little helpless, the woman finally snatched back her curtains, and in the process of paying the bill, she still didn't forget to demonstrate against North Korea Said took a look.

Han Shu held back his smile, and said to Xie Junian in a frustrated voice: "Miss, you must recommend me something similar to that one."

Ju Nian heard the words, and there was nothing he could do. People who came purely looking for trouble couldn't be avoided no matter what.She had no choice but to call in another little girl, lead the couple to pay the bill, and walk back to Han Shu's side one meter away.

"Don't thank me for dismissing that difficult old witch for you? How do you say that, no one plows the thin field, but when it is plowed, there are people fighting for it. It makes sense." Han Shu wanted to look a little more relaxed. .

"It's okay to be picky, the customer is God." Xie Ju Nian's answer was quite satisfactory.

Han Shu didn't seem to like talking with people more than one meter away, so he took half a step forward and said with a smile, "Then don't you recommend one for me, a god?"

Xie Ju Nian happened to take another half step back, she was nervous, Han Shu knew it.

"I thought God's house didn't use curtains." Xie Ju Nian said in a low voice.

"Hey, the new curtains in my bedroom accidentally got a small hole burnt by soot." In order to prove the authenticity of what he said, Han Shu gestured the size of the hole with his hand, "I prefer perfect things, so ..."

"Actually, if there is such a small hole in your curtains, there is also an advantage. With the small beam of light from the street lamp outside, you can go to the toilet at night, and you can find your slippers without turning on the light." Xie Ju Nian cautiously advises.

Han Shu wanted to say, it's not bad, she has a sense of humor, but he found that she looked more sincere than him, so he tapped his chin, feeling a little back.At least some aspects of Xie Ju Nian have not changed. She used to be like this. The first time you see her is unknown, the second time you think she is even more unknown, and the third time she suddenly surprises you very low-key.She doesn't like to argue with people, she doesn't like to stand out in everything, the first time you provoke her she begs you, the second time you provoke her she hides from you, but the third time she will hit you with a big mouth that is harder than anyone else son.Han Shu always felt that she looked like a rabbit, white and timid, but she spoke cheaply. Could this be the essence of a rogue rabbit?

Han Shu didn't want to discuss the connection between the curtain hole and the urgent search for slippers in the middle of the night with her now, so he made a gesture of surrender, and said seriously, "Well, thank you...Ju Nian, let's not talk about anything else, let's talk seriously Shall we talk about it?"

"Talking here?" Ju Nian looked around at the more and more crowded store, feeling sincerely suspicious.

"It would be better if you could show your face at another time."

Xie Ju Nian hesitated for a moment: "To be honest, I've been thinking about it for a long time since you came to see me that day..."

"The result?" Han Shu was very dissatisfied with her pause at this time.

"As a result... I don't know what to say. If you want to ask about the child, I can tell you responsibly that Feiming has nothing to do with you. As long as it doesn't hurt her, I am willing to use any means Proof, really..." During the conversation, a person who looked like a management came over, Xie Ju Nian called "Manager", and then quickly changed the subject, which made Han Shu disdainful, "Really, sir, at this price It’s already very discounted, our store’s event only happens once a year, and this fabric matches your temperament very well.”

After the manager's back left a certain distance, Han Shu resentfully shook off the piece of Disney-patterned fabric that Xie Ju Nian handed over, thinking that only the hell would it match my aura, he just didn't know what to say.

"She's not your child, please don't let her have unrealistic fantasies?" As if worried that Han Shu didn't understand what she said, she repeated in a low voice.

"Then explain to me, who does the child belong to? Don't tell me it belongs to your cousin. How could the child adopted by your cousin be thrown to you? Do you look like a good nanny? You can take one." Convince me to come up with a reason.” Han Shu began to play a rogue, and easily threw the legislative concepts he agreed with “who claims, who proves” and “suspected guilt” to the sparks. As for the “citizen’s privacy is sacred and inviolable” It's even more nonsense.

"It is true that I adopted the child from the orphanage, but my foundation is not clean and the conditions are not enough, so my cousin helped me. As for why, it is my business."

Here we go again, why can't we just change the sentence, Han Shu felt that he was full of powerlessness at this time.His arrogance suddenly disappeared, and his heart was in a mess.The child is not his?These days, it's not that he hasn't thought about this outcome. After all, reality can't be equated with soap operas. Moreover, just half a month ago, he thought that if he got married in the future, he would never have children and be a DINK for the rest of his life.More importantly, sharing a crystallization of blood with an inexplicable woman is not something worth looking forward to.But when he heard this answer, he suddenly felt uncomfortable, not disappointment, nor pain, just uncomfortable, as if something was broken, but there was no pain, and he felt a sense of loss.

He began to realize where he stood to accuse her, as if any one stand was untenable.From then until now, although Xie Ju Nian has been unbearable to him, she has never done anything wrong - he is the one who did the wrong.Her retreat fueled his arrogance.

"Let's put it this way...I know you haven't had a good time these years..."

"Uh, I'm doing pretty well, actually."

"Don't interrupt me, please? Oh, I don't know what to say. I was too young and not very sensible at that time. I, I know that you look down on me... I didn't go to you, because I was afraid of seeing you You, I’m so scared. When I saw you, I would think, So, Han Shu is such a person... Do you understand what I mean? I seem to owe you money, but I don’t know how to pay it back, so I have to hide for a while Hiding, so I'd rather not know where you are. I'm just so useless, you should look down on me..." Never before has a debate or statement made Han Shu feel so difficult, the world's language seems to have become empty, absolutely Thousands of words, he just can't find a suitable one.

"It seems a bit shameless to say that." He laughed self-mockingly, and continued, "Over the years, I'm going to convince me to forget about those things, and I can't think about them, otherwise I won't be able to fall asleep when I turn off the lights. I will dream indiscriminately... It seems that I have almost succeeded, and I will see you... I, I am very sad." After he said this, those emotions that were awkward to express suddenly had an outlet, no matter what he said What, it all comes down to this sentence, so he repeated, "Xie Ju Nian, I'm really sad."

Ju Nian glanced around, the scene of an eye-catching man grieving in front of her was definitely not what she wanted to appear at this time and this place.Others might think that his words were incoherent, but she finally understood what Han Shu wanted to express: "You feel sorry for me and hope to repent, don't you?"

Han Shu stared blankly, neither nodded nor shook his head.

"Okay, if you feel ashamed, just say it. Han Shu, tell me, tell me you're sorry...why don't you tell me? Say you're wrong, tell me you're sorry, tell me you're sorry!"

Han Shu was a little dazed, but before his brain functioned normally, that sentence had already blurted out. How many years had it been lurking in his heart?

"I'm sorry... Ju Nian, I'm sorry."

Xie Ju Nian looked at him and said word by word: "Okay, I forgive you, Han Shu."

(End of this chapter)