let me look at you

Chapter 88 The Crazy World (1)
It was very cold in the corridor, and Ju Nian was casually wearing a sweater jacket. The blue color of the lake reflected her calm eyes, like a deep pool that had been frozen for a long time but had not condensed, like ancient jade, It's not smooth, but it's condensed with a touch of pale green.

The last time Ju Nian and Sun Jinling, Dean Han's wife and Han Shu's mother, met face to face was more than ten years ago.In fact, Sun Jinling was about the same age as Ju Nian's mother, and Ju Nian could still vaguely remember the time when he lived in the same tube building with the Han family before entering elementary school.Her mother finished the meal, and with a dusty face, she shouted to her daughter who was in a daze digging out the ant hole outside the window, "Have you seen enough? Have you saved the meal?" Dr. Sun, who was late from work, led a group of The son who was playing with the boys smiled and asked, "Honey, tell mom what you want to eat?"

What stuck in Ju Nian's mind was Dr. Sun's beautiful light-colored dress with flying skirts and light steps.

Han Shu looked more like his mother, with fair complexion, smiling eyes, and a pointed chin, everything was carved out of the same mold.Now, Ju Nian is sitting in the office of the director of brain surgery at No. 1 Civilian Hospital, looking at the familiar eyebrows, waiting for the other party's first words.

Sun Jinling seemed to want to be more businesslike, but for some reason, it didn't work out.In front of her was the medical records that Feiming brought from the previous hospital, but they were only a few pages, and she flipped through them again and again.

In the end, she used an opening remark that surprised even herself, "No wonder it's said that women's colleges have undergone eighteen changes. I can't even connect you with that girl from the old Xie family when I was a child."

Ju Nian said: "Dr. Sun, you haven't changed much, you are still as young as before."

She is not good at complimenting others, but because of Feiming's illness, she can no longer add any unhappiness to the already delicate relationship between herself and Dr. Sun, who is Han Shu's mother.

Sun Jinling smiled, "This is stupid talk, how can people stay young forever, Han Shu is almost 30 years old, and it still makes me worry, can I not grow old?"

Ju Nian was silent.

Sun Jinling looked at Ju Nian, different from Chief Prosecutor Cai Yilin's eyes that seemed to want to see through people at a glance, Sun Jinling's gaze was soft and maternal, and even had a bit of pity and guilt that could be understood.

"Ju Nian, I know you have suffered a lot, and some things should not have happened to you..."

This time, Ju Nian answered quickly, and she said, "I'm fine, Dr. Sun, but my little niece is very ill, please save her." Whether it's guilt or guilt, it's impossible for her to repeat her past, and now she only has Feiming in her eyes.

Sun Jinling nodded, and her eyes fell on a certain page of the medical record.

"Han Shu mentioned this child's illness to me, and I also carefully read the medical records." She folded her hands on her knees, staring at Ju Nian, who was bowing her head and saying nothing, "As a doctor, it is my duty to save lives and heal the wounded." , not to mention such a poor child... However, as a mother at the same time... Ju Nian, I don't know if saying such things will make you feel disgusted, but you and I both know that a child can be in a hospital bed and The fact that I was transferred to another hospital under such tight surgical arrangements is not only because I am a doctor, but also because I am a mother who cannot refuse her son."

"I know."

"You should be a smart child. Since we are destined to be unable to get around some things, we might as well be honest. Similarly, even if some words don't sound so pleasant, they can make us understand better, don't you think?"

Ju Nian still didn't make a sound, she knew that the other party didn't need her answer.

"From the standpoint of a mother, what I want to say is that I will do my best to save that child, no matter who she is, but, regarding Han Shu, please..."

"it is good!"

Ju Nian blurted out, and she saw Sun Jinling's surprised eyes.Fearing that the other party would not believe it, she agreed again with great sincerity, as if she was afraid that such a good deal would be regretted by the other party in the next second, "Okay, I promise, I promise! Please, Dr. Sun, Feiming is only 11 years old... ..."

If Sun Jinling was not surprised, it would be a lie. She repeatedly asked herself, what is so special about this girl who fascinated her son? Is she too pure, or is she too deep?
"You are so eager to say yes? I haven't even said what I want you to do."

Ju Nian pushed a strand of hair behind his ear, and smiled hesitantly, "No matter what you want to say, at least you don't want Han Shu and I to have a good relationship for a hundred years, right? Things have come to this point, what else can I not do?" Agreed? Besides, for Han Shu, maybe we want the same result."

Sun Jinling seemed to understand that the reason why Xie Ju Nian was so forthright had nothing to do with whether he was smart or not, it was just because she didn't care.That silly son of mine turned out to be a hot-headed shaved boy.

Sun Jinling single-handedly brought up Han Shu, knowing that everyone who beat him would protect him and let him go. Maybe he didn't know what "not getting it" was at all.She doted on her son, and sometimes felt that she might have spoiled him and should let him suffer setbacks, but her son bumped too hard, and her heart ached. A mother is so contradictory.

Ju Nian guessed correctly, Sun Jinling hoped that Ju Nian would stay away from Han Shu from the bottom of her heart, even though she knew that the wrong person was Han Shu.The night after Sun Jinling learned of the absurd things Han Shu had done, she couldn't sleep at night like her husband. She walked into her son's room in the dark, and almost wanted to slap him awake and ask him why he did that?But when her eyes adapted to the darkness of the room, she saw the wet tears on the face of her son curled up with the pillow, at that moment she knew that she might be despicable too, but she had to choose to protect her son, she didn't The method was noble at that time, so she used the hand that was intended to wake the child up, and tucked the quilt for him. What happened, what can a slap be redeemed?
Later, Sun Jinling gave the Xie family a few sums of money in different ways and reasons. The Xie family didn't think too much, and accepted it with gratitude. That kind of gratitude made her feel extremely ashamed, because the money she remitted to the prison was returned time and time again. return.Later, she and her husband tacitly found a job as a driver for the youngest son of the Xie family who dropped out of school early and had no job.Even this time, even though she couldn't bear the Xie family's presumptuous attitude that she thought she had a handle, she still discussed with her husband how to arrange for Xie Wangnian to become a full-time member.It's not that they were really afraid of the threat of Xie Maohua and his wife, that greedy couple were just clowns, but she knew what they owed and couldn't finish it, but as long as the other party was willing to give him a chance, she was still willing to pay it back—except At the expense of Han Shu.

How could she believe that a girl who was imprisoned because of Han Shu and lost all good things still had kindness towards Han Shu?Han Shu also felt guilty, Sun Jinling knew it, but he couldn't spend his whole life paying it back.She explained all these clearly to Han Shu, but the disappointment in Han Shu's eyes became more and more serious day by day. He was anxious and impatient, as if his heart and soul were missing, and his soul was also lost.Her precious son, is it really just because of guilt?Or because he cared, and others didn't think so at all.

For a moment, Sun Jinling was also a little confused.She said to Ju Nian: "You promised so fast, but my silly son jumped up and down a few days ago and said he wanted to marry you. I almost begged him, I said, little ancestor, take it easy... But he must have alarmed his father too, saying that your child is his child, and we will deny you if we don’t save that child, and wait for the Han family to cut off all children and grandchildren. As a result, his father got angry and really gave him a good beating. I know that the child on the hospital bed is neither yours nor his, but he is so determined, I really thought you..."

Ju Nian said: "Han Shu is sincere to the child, but there has never been a possibility between me and him." She doesn't hate him anymore, but she can't love him either.They are really like the sponges of the Permian and the sponges of the Sinian, separated by billions of years, existing but not related.She wanted to give Feiming a home, but she couldn't do it alone, and a good man would not choose her, so she would rather promise Tang Ye's "if" that day.She understands Tang Ye's despair of trying to get rid of the mire, just as she understands the dream of the little monk caterpillar. Perhaps because of the slim "if", she is willing to have such a slim hope.Tang Ye's "if" may never come, this is a dream, but if there is a day, just like the song she didn't know the title of the song, if you are still together when you wake up, please allow We depend on each other.

Sun Jinling sighed, "I don't want to blame others, but you are really different from your parents." Her heart softened, and she stretched out her hand to touch Ju Nian's thin shoulders. Not only her son, but she felt that I feel pity.But Ju Nian stepped away gently.

Sun Jinling withdrew her hand, placed it on her lap again, and said, "Why do I always remember your appearance when you were a child? Because when our family first moved here, Han Shu was only four years old, and he didn't know any of the children in the kindergarten. A few days later, the teacher said that a dwarf was missing in a performance in the garden, and asked him if he could be on top. He was very happy. We took many photos of him that day, and one of them was an oolong. Our family Han Shu was dragged by a little girl, blushing like a monkey's ass. We often joked with him about that photo, so he didn't like that photo very much. When he was a child, he found out who he was anxious about. When he was in high school, the photo didn't know Why did he lose it, and I found it under the pillow until I packed his things for him when he went to college. Han Shu has a lot of problems, blame me, so his father said that a loving mother is a loser, but his father beat him at every turn , Whoever wants to say that his son is wrong, he will be in a hurry. We protect him so well that he is still like a child in his heart. It may be evil, but it is not bad at all. He hides in his heart..."

"Mom, what are you talking about!" Han Shu interrupted angrily at the door, and he didn't know how long he stood there.He knocked on a sign at the door of the office, "Are you a doctor or an old woman whose family members are idle basking in the sun downstairs, talk about your illness, don't talk about those useless things!"

While he was speaking, Ju Nian had already stood up awkwardly. Sun Jinling looked at his son helplessly and smiled, and then said to Ju Nian: "As for Feiming's condition, I will wait for a more detailed examination report, and then I will go to the hospital next time." I'll let you know in a moment."

(End of this chapter)