aren't we in love

Chapter 1 Facing the Reality
Cheng Duanwu carefully looked in the mirror before going out, and after thinking about it, he tied up his waist-length hair.

She only had one day off on Thursday a week, so the blind date was arranged at this time.Fortunately, the blind date is a private owner.It's been two years since my wife passed away. A big man with a three-year-old daughter. If he doesn't lack money, he needs a woman to head the house.Cheng Duanwu's conditions are naturally not good enough for him, but the introducer is her supervisor, Aunt You. Aunt You has always taken good care of her. Before the blind date, she specially told him that this man has a little money, but his background is not clean. The request is also simple, don't pick the woman's family background, marital history, as long as he is good to his children and can do things.Cheng Duanwu thought about it, and he quite met his requirements.

The blind date was set at a Hunan restaurant not far from her home.I heard that this person has not read much, so he is naturally not as elegant as modern people drink coffee and pastries.

Aunt You has been talking about Cheng Duanwu.Cheng Duanwu clenched his palms tightly, not even daring to lift his head.At the moment, she feels like a commodity, and is being strongly recommended because of slow sales. "Although Duanwu is young, he is very diligent and capable. He respects the elderly and is very kind to children. I have a son named Dongdong. I have met A few times, the very obedient boy happened to be able to accompany your daughter..."

"Although the environment in her home is ordinary, she is very down-to-earth. Didn't you say that you don't want those extravagances? I think she is very suitable for you."

"..."

"Well, I still have something to do at home, so I'll leave first, you can chat for a while, Auntie doesn't like to care about young people talking about friends, but I like you two, I just want to get together. "

Aunt You left as if she didn't want to finish, turning her head every step of the way, as if she was afraid that the two of them would disappear in the next second.

Wait until Aunt You's figure completely disappears.The man who had been sitting opposite Cheng Duanwu without speaking finally spoke. He sighed softly, as if across the sea: "Long time no see, Duanwu."

Cheng Duanwu was taken aback for a moment, since the first time she came in and saw him, she understood what Aunt You meant by the unclean background.She didn't say a word from the beginning to the end, she could only clutch her fingers in embarrassment.I was guessing wildly in my heart.

Now that he had finished speaking, she had no choice but to raise her head, move the corners of her mouth pretending to be calm, and smiled lightly, "Long time no see, Brother Yu Dong."

Yu Dong looked at Cheng Duanwu with complicated eyes.He was silent for a long time before carefully asking: "Do you have a son?"

Cheng Duanwu's heart skipped a beat.She thought to herself, how could this Yu Dong start a business?Has he come out completely?Have you come out completely from that world that never sees the sun?Or, was it just a temptation and provocation sent by that person to her?

After thinking about it, she finally nodded silently.

Yu Dong swallowed, frowned and asked again: "How old is that child?"

Cheng Duanwu grabbed her fingers nervously, and her fingernails turned blue and purple. She was so nervous and flustered that she couldn't even feel the pain, so she replied dully: "Six years old."

"You..." Yu Dong was slightly annoyed, and gave her a look of resentment, then clasped his hands and leaned back hard.Turning his face away to look out the window, he said lightly: "You go, I will pretend that I haven't seen you today. But if there is a next time, I will definitely notify him."

Cheng Duanwu breathed a sigh of relief, and the string that was tense all over her body was also loosened. She secretly reprimanded herself for being suspicious and self-indulgent. How could it be possible to spend so much time looking for someone who hasn't appeared for more than six years and doesn't care at all? Her, wasting precious time testing her?She smiled self-deprecatingly.He got up and picked up his bag, bowed deeply to Yu Dong, and sincerely thanked: "Brother Yu Dong, thank you."

That thrilling blind date made Cheng Duanwu terrified for several days.Cheng Duanwu didn't really feel relieved until there was no movement for a whole month.

Cheng Duanwu took an inventory of the goods in the refrigerated area with the manifest.Tapped three times in a row.This month's performance is still 100 short, but it is already the last day of the month.If you can’t meet the performance salary, you will get [-] yuan less.

Cheng Duanwu calculated carefully, and couldn't help but feel worried.My brother has been getting sick more and more recently, and I can't do without some medicine; I've lost my head again in winter, and last year's clothes and pants were all short, and none of the neighbor's children are as tall as him, and I can't pick up their old ones; Rent, water and electricity, and winter tuition fees... A six-year-old child can no longer be sent to school. Kindergarten and preschool can be taught at home, but elementary school... She doesn't know how eager she is to go to school in winter, and she looks at her little friend every day When he was carrying his schoolbag to school, his eyes were full of envy, but such a small child was so sensible, and he comforted her softly: "Mom, it doesn't matter if you go to school after you have money, anyway, uncle taught me Same."

Thinking about the child's sensibility, Cheng Duanwu was so sad that he wanted to cry.

She sighed softly, and scratched her hair annoyedly, a few strands fell out with a light scratch.Working in a low temperature area for a long time, no matter what season it is, it is shiveringly cold, and the freezer has a lot of radiation, so she lost her hair badly.But she only has a high school diploma, and she is always looking for sales jobs, with low wages and heavy workload, and she has to stand around day and night.

Just as she was thinking about it, Zhang Qiao patted her on the shoulder, "Is your brother feeling better?" The day before her brother fell ill, thanks to Zhang Qiao's willingness to replace her, she was able to rush back.

Cheng Duanwu was stunned for a moment, and smiled forcedly with the corners of his mouth pulled: "Thank you yesterday, my brother is much better today."

Zhang Qiao sighed, and her tone was not without pity: "I heard from my mother that there is a hospital in the east of the city that treats epilepsy is very famous, and it also accepts medical insurance. Your brother can't go on like this. After healed, the family will have more labor. Your burden Take it easy too."

Cheng Duanwu was silent, why didn't she want to treat her brother's illness, but with such a small salary, she couldn't raise a child if she treated her brother, and couldn't cure her brother if she raised a child, not to mention that his illness was a bottomless pit.Every time she goes to work, she is always very sensitive to the ringtone of her mobile phone, and she is always afraid that when she picks up, she will hear that her brother is ill again.The day before, she rushed back in a hurry, and her sick brother lay curled up in the toilet, rolling his eyes, convulsing all over his body, and his mouth was foaming. The sensible winter couldn't move his brother, so he only held a towel for him to swallow. To prevent him from biting his tongue, he stayed by the side all the time and didn't leave for a moment.

This kind of scene has happened hundreds of times in the past six years. My brother has epilepsy, and no unit is willing to accept him. The long-term depression has made the once proud brother extremely depressed and silent.Cheng Duanwu also had to leave his job without authorization because his brother often fell ill, and was fired more than a dozen times.

Cheng Duanwu put away the manifest, turned his head and gritted his teeth and said to Zhang Qiao, "I'll take him to the hospital when spring comes."

Zhang Qiao looked at Cheng Duanwu sympathetically, and sighed, "I don't know what evil you did to give birth to that child. How can you live with a child at such a young age?"

Supermarkets work in two shifts, the morning shift is from 10:30 to [-]:[-] pm, and the middle shift is from [-]:[-] pm to [-]:[-].When Cheng Duanwu got off work, it was already dark, there were not many people and cars on the street, and the buses basically closed.It's cold in spring in March, and the temperature drops sharply at night. The cold wind blows along the collar and blows into the clothes, making Cheng Duanwu shiver. She wraps her clothes tightly, but her hands and feet are still cold, so she has to stamp her feet from time to time and rub her palms back and forth. to keep warm.

The last bus is always very difficult to wait, never on time.Cheng Duanwu bought two second-hand bicycles, both of which were stolen. There is only an electric bicycle guard at the entrance of the supermarket, but a second-hand electric bicycle is her monthly salary, and she has no money.

After finally waiting for the bus, the bus was full of people, so Cheng Duanwu had to take a nap drowsily hugging the handrail.

It wasn't until after getting off the car that Cheng Duanwu started to feel flustered.There was no one on the whole street, she walked into the dark and narrow alley quickly, always felt like there was a voice behind her, fear made her spine a little cold.She quickened her pace, and when she was approaching the door of the house, a light flashed across her face, and she heard someone shout: "Duanwu?"

Cheng Duanwu breathed a sigh of relief, took a few steps forward, and approached the light source of the flashlight, "Brother, why did you come out?"

"I'm going to pick you up at the station."

"Have you eaten with Dong Dong?"

"I ate it. I warmed up the leftovers at noon and saved them for you. I packed the lunch box for you."

"Ah."

"..."

When I got home, there was no sound in the house.Cheng Duanwu tiptoed to the bedside, already asleep in winter, I don't know what he dreamed of, smiling, with a satisfied expression on his face.His face was frostbitten, and the two lumps of red chapped skin on his cheeks stood out against his white and tender skin.Cheng Duanwu kissed her heartily, it was soft and tender.

After eating, Cheng Duanwu pulled up the curtain after washing.Because of insufficient money, she can only rent such a one-room room, with a total of more than [-] square meters, and two beds, separated by a sheet in the middle, and some cartons she collected from the unit are piled up in the room. , Collect a bunch and sell them, and buy some apples for the winter with the money you sell.Her job is to sell low-temperature yogurt, because the brand she makes also sells at room temperature, so she can always share some milk every month. The food at home is not good, so she can only rely on milk to supplement calcium for her children.

She wiped some Dabao on, and then lightly applied some on Dongdong. The Dabao was cool, and Dong Dong, in his sleep, burrowed into the cup.Before going to bed, she heard the sound of her brother turning over, which made the unstable wire bed creak.

"Brother, I'll go to the hospital after I get paid next month. Zhang Qiao said it can be cured..."

Before she could finish her sentence, she heard a voice of rejection, "No, there's no way I have so much money. My illness can't be cured. Don't waste money. I won't go anywhere. I'll be fine."

Cheng Duanwu's heart felt sore.Instantly, tears filled the eyes.She didn't dare to speak anymore, she was afraid that the choking in her voice would be heard.He crept into the quilt, put the hot water bottle in his clothes, and hugged the winter through the clothes.As soon as the child touched something warm, he instinctively leaned over, curled up like a shivering puppy.

Cheng Duanwu hugged the child distressedly.Even though he was so malnourished, he looked very much like that person.He can move fast.Sometimes she thought that if he could be more like her, her heart wouldn't have to hurt every time she hugged him.

But things in the world are just so evil. From eyebrows to eyes to nose, Dong Dong has carved out the same mold as that person, like a living photo, reminding her every minute and every second.

Cheng Duanwu, 24, has a six-year-old son.Every time those aunts and aunts who were eager to introduce someone to her immediately retreated when they heard about her background.Originally, I only introduced her to someone because she was young, able to endure hardships, and pretty. How could any man be willing to marry her with such an oil bottle?

During the day, she was so tired that her whole body fell apart, but at night she couldn't fall asleep listening to the sound of winter's even breathing.

Does she hate that man?Maybe.But more of a confession.

Maybe there are many capable and strong women in reality, but none of them are Cheng Duanwu.

Cheng Duanwu is such an ordinary woman, not strong enough, smart enough, or even weak enough.

Is it normal for that person not to love her?Thinking back to who she was seven years ago, even she hated herself, how could she expect that person to love her?

The last memory that person gave her was sitting indifferently in the place where her father used to be, across the long and wide desk, with a serious face and slowly mocking her: "Pregnant? Am I so strong? Just once Medium? Besides, you delivered it yourself. If you have any problems, you should solve them yourself. Cheng Duanwu, haven’t you settled your position yet? Even if you are pregnant, do you think I will keep you because of a child? ?”

Cheng Duanwu clenched his fists tightly, all the blood in his body rushed to the top of his head, she had never begged anyone so humblely, she didn't know how to bow to others, but she still bowed to him, but he was so cruel Her self-esteem was torn to shreds.

In the end, she let go of her clenched fist, and smiled bitterly at him. Her body swayed and tears were about to come out of her smile, "Sure enough, I can't lie to you. I thought you would soften your heart if you said you were pregnant." !"

Memories tormented Cheng Duanwu's not-so-strong heart day and night.When she dreamed back at midnight, she couldn't tell whether she was in a dream or in reality. Only when winter fell asleep and came to grab her clothes did she suddenly wake up, and tears fell silently.

This hard-fated child was born after so many twists and turns, but grew up healthily after all the twists and turns, which became her whole motivation to live.

Even if his father dismissed him, she was happy with it.

In the past seven years, that person only taught her four words: face reality.

(End of this chapter)