Economic Wisdom to Apply in Your Twenties

Chapter 84

Chapter 10 It is always easy to blush at strangers
You should have experienced this: on the bus, two strangers will argue for a seat.But if they know each other, they will give in to each other.

A similar phenomenon also occurs in the different ways of living and getting along between people in rural and urban areas.

It seems that people generally think that most country people are more honest and kind than city people. This is because everyone lives together in a village for generations, and they "look down and see each other" all day long, and the parents can be known by the whole village in less than half a day. .If you do something that harms others and benefits yourself, you will definitely incur resentment from the other party and moral condemnation from the villagers.

But people in the city are relatively unkind.Firstly, there is a lot of traffic in the city, and if a person does something bad, he disappears in the vast crowd in a blink of an eye, and it is difficult for the other party to take revenge on him; secondly, the city also pays more attention to privacy. There are many people who do not communicate with each other, and they do not have too much contact with each other. If they do immoral things, it is difficult to be condemned morally.

Why is there such a big difference in different environments?In fact, this is the difference between the "acquaintance society" and the "stranger society". The concept of "acquaintance society" was proposed by Mr. Fei Xiaotong, a famous sociologist in my country.Mr. Fei believes that traditional Chinese society is a "society of acquaintances", which is characterized by a personal relationship between people, and people are connected through this relationship to form a network of relationships.Background and relationship are typical discourses of "acquaintance society".The folk saying that "acquaintances are easy to handle" is a simple expression of "acquaintance society".

Mr. Fei Xiaotong pointed out that in modern society, due to social change and population flow, people become strangers in an ever-increasing social space, which is why laws are necessary.Because when a society becomes a "stranger society", the development of society will depend on contracts and systems, and the communication between people must establish mutual relationships and trust through systems and rules.With the gradual improvement of contracts, systems and rules, the law will naturally grow up.

In fact, if you interpret Mr. Fei Xiaotong's theory from an economic point of view, it is the principle of the game between people. The "acquaintance society" is a repeated game, while the "stranger society" is a one-time game.In the countryside, people always put on banquets and treat guests to dinner during festivals, weddings and funerals, because this kind of dedication is expected to be rewarded by the villagers.In cities, it is rare to invite guests to a big banquet like this, because there are not many contacts between people, and it is not known when the next time is invited this time.The "AA system" for foreigners has become popular in Chinese cities. Everyone eats and drinks together, pays for themselves, and owes nothing to anyone.From an economic point of view, the "AA system" is not because of indifference, but because of the high population mobility, which makes it difficult to form repeated games. Therefore, the "AA system" has become the fairest way of cost sharing.Of course, such an "AA system" can only become popular among cities, and it does not apply to rural areas where "repeated games" widely exist.

At the same time, economists also found that repeated games are the premise of trust.For example, street stalls, train stations, and tourist spots, where there is a high flow of people, not only have the worst quality of goods and services, but also rampant counterfeit goods. This is because there is no "repeated game" between merchants and customers.A tourist is unlikely to come back because of your delicious food. Of course, he will not take a special ride back because he bought a fake scale.Such a "one-shot deal" is naturally not profitable.However, supermarkets and convenience stores in cities rely on "repeat customers" to make profits, so in the "repeated game", they must pay attention to honest management and establish their own brand and reputation.Because once they deceive customers, they will lose long-term profit opportunities.Therefore, we usually talk about credibility and not lie, in order to lay the foundation for winning in repeated games in the future.

With the increasing development of the Internet, the earth is being condensed into a village, and the "stranger society" is becoming less and less likely to appear.In particular, the emergence of "human flesh search" that is no stranger to young people in their twenties has made speculators who want to get away with profit in the "one-time game" lose the opportunity.Therefore, in the "acquaintance society" full of "repeated games", we must pay attention to rules and integrity, which is not only conducive to personal development, but also conducive to the integrity and harmonious development of the entire society.

Wisdom Pieces: How to Break the Deadlock in Communication with Strangers
1. Understand the purpose of communicating with him.Is it a boring conversation or something to do?Is it meeting friends or socializing at work?Only when you understand the purpose can you understand the content of the conversation that needs to be carried out, and avoid stuttering or not knowing what to say.

2. Observe the other person's expression.The face is the main expression part of a person's psychological characteristics. Observing the other person's face will allow us to grasp the first impression of us and whether the topic of the conversation will attract their attention, thus laying the foundation for our further in-depth conversation.

3. Don't be impatient.Don't be impatient because you don't understand other people's topics or your own topics make others unable to understand for a while.In fact, it's normal for two people who don't know each other to have disagreements, and learning how to defuse embarrassment skillfully when the topic is wrong will make your relationship go further.

4. Talk about popular topics.The communication between strangers generally only involves ordinary events in the early stage, and does not talk about privacy and some controversial topics.Therefore, it is necessary to adjust an ordinary conversation attitude in the early stage, and ask some more popular topics. Only when the two parties have established a good relationship can the conversation go further.

(End of this chapter)