miss you dearly

Chapter 7 The distance of dreams (3)
He said it lightly, but Xi Yan knew the feeling of being overwhelmed in the stomach after being drunk, "Eat a little, because it's a bit embarrassing to make headlines because of hunger." Looking at the breakfast, she found that it was all her favorite food, and she said: "Forget it , wait a moment, I will cook porridge for you."

Wen Xingyuan questioned her ability: "Can you? Because it's not a glorious thing to burn the kitchen to make headlines."

Xi Yan glared at him: "Do you want to go too far?"

Wen Xingyuan smiled apologetically: "I know my mistake." When she entered the kitchen, he went to the bathroom, then poked his head out and said, "Xi He called and said he would pick you up at night."

"My brother?" Xi Yan asked back: "Did you call this morning? Landline or mobile phone?"

"You didn't answer the phone, but I answered the landline."

"Did you pick up the landline?" Xi Yan was anxious: "Who told you to pick it up?"

Wen Xingyuan looked innocent, "What's wrong with me, it's not to wake you up."

"You are still stubborn." Xi Yan came from the kitchen angrily, stood outside the bathroom and kicked the door, "Hey, are you taking a shower?"

Wen Xingyuan said with a smile: "Why, do you want to watch?"

"Look at it, I don't have the habit of playing hooligans. I'm telling you that there is no change of clothes here. Do you want to go to the hotel to wash later." Wen Xingyuan has some cleanliness and Xi Yan still understands.

The bathroom door swung open, and Wen Xingyuan, who was naked from the upper body, stood facing her, "You care about me so much, you even figured out my habits?"

"You're not so beautiful." Xi Yan was startled, and wanted to push him in, but she stretched out her hand and felt embarrassed to touch him, so she kicked his calf impatiently, with a bad attitude: "You exhibitionist, why are you taking off your clothes in such a hurry , you dress me neatly before you come out."

Wen Xingyuan was amused by her turning around: "I don't mind, what are you embarrassed about."

"I'm sorry for you." Xi Yan went back to the kitchen to continue cooking porridge, and when she was pounding the rice into the pot, she couldn't help cursing: "You rascal."

During the waiting time, Xi Yan went to the closet to find a set of clothes that Xi He had left with her before, and when she heard the sound of water in the bathroom stopped, she raised her voice and shouted: "I have my brother's clothes here, do you want them?" Make it up first?" There was no response.Then, the bathroom door opened, and Wen Xingyuan swaggered out wearing a towel.

Xi Yan casually threw the cushion behind her, "Are you a bit ashamed? Can you stop being so dissolute?"

Wen Xingyuan laughed loudly: "Are you afraid you won't be able to control yourself and pounce on you?"

Xi Yan threw the clothes over: "Put it on."

She hasn't been home for three years, so the clothes are naturally the bottom of the box.

"It's almost moldy and you let me wear it?" Wen Xingyuan took it away with disgust: "No."

"Then wear something that smells like alcohol. But, to avoid getting me drunk," Xi Yan glared at him, "Walk slowly."

"No matter how many people want to see it, don't you have a chance?" Wen Xingyuan ignored her order to chase away guests, and said cheaply: "I'm in good shape, I don't believe you to test it." As he said that, he had already moved closer to Xi Yan.

Xi Yan greeted his handsome face with a pillow, "Who wants to test, narcissist." After finishing talking, ignore him and go to the kitchen to serve porridge.

Noticing her flushed side face, Wen Xingyuan smiled happily.As a result, when Xi Yan put the porridge in front of him, he couldn't laugh anymore, "Is this the rhythm of scorching? Are you sure I don't need to go to the hospital after eating?"

"That's so much nonsense." Xi Yan slapped the chopsticks on the table: "Anyway, I'm close to the hospital. It's a 3-minute walk. Don't worry, it's convenient." Clean up the battlefield.

Wen Xingyuan was mentally preparing for the bowl of porridge that looked really bad when the doorbell rang.He got up as if he had been pardoned.

Xi Yan thought it was Xi He, and poked her head out from the bedroom: "Didn't you say that my brother only comes at night?"

Wen Xingyuan thought it was the person who brought him clothes from the hotel: "He should still be in City G at this point." While speaking, he opened the door.

It was Han Nuo standing outside the door.

After seeing the disheveled Wen Xingyuan in front of him, his expression changed suddenly.

Long afterward, Xi Yan still remembered the scene of Han Nuo with dark brows confronting Wen Xingyuan with calm expression this morning.

It was Wen Xingyuan who spoke first: "It's not what you think." He was obviously explaining for Xi Yan, but his eyes seemed to be heavy, and they fell heavily on Han Nuo.

If Han Nuo's face wasn't so ugly, or if he responded, "I didn't think about anything." Xi Yan felt that the ending of that day should be different.However, he said, "I'll wait for you downstairs."

He didn't even have the courage to step into the room where she and Wen Xingyuan were together.

Xi Yan neither refused nor agreed, but just stood there without moving.

Han Nuo turned and walked towards the elevator. After the people inside came out, he walked in. He didn't look back until the elevator door closed.

The hotel waiter saw Wen Xingyuan who was topless, and stepped forward to confirm his identity: "Excuse me, is this Mr. Wen Xingyuan?"

Wen Xingyuan reached out to take the bag, and smartly signed his name on the slip he brought.

The brief silence seemed to be suppressing something.

After a while, Wen Xingyuan exhaled very slowly, and he reached out to Xi Yan: "Come here."

Xi Yan hesitated for a moment, but still walked over.

Wen Xingyuan's hand was close at hand, but she didn't have the courage to hold it.

Wen Xingyuan didn't insist. He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly: "Emotions can't be vague, they must be clear. You should know what to do."

Xi Yan raised her eyes, and in his eyes she saw herself who was so fragile that she was almost in a mess, just like three years ago.And those familiar black eyes were still full of encouragement.

Xi Yan forced back tears under his gaze, "Then I'll go."

Wen Xingyuan didn't speak, nor let go, but just looked at her quietly.Just when Xi Yan thought he was going to get angry, he reached out and rubbed her fluffy hair, "Don't do anything stupid."

His voice was clear and gentle, as if a wind suddenly blew, blowing countless tree shadows in his heart, blowing away the mottled confusion in Xi Yan's chest.Then, she bent her lips and smiled: "Okay."

Wen Xingyuan let go: "Go, I'll wait for you."

Han Nuo was smoking in front of the car, his expression was hard to see in the smoke.Seeing Xi Yan coming out, as if he was worried that she would turn around and leave due to regret in the next second, he put out his cigarette, stepped forward and grabbed her wrist and shoved her into the back seat of the car.

Han Nuo then sat in the back seat, looked at Xi Yan, and waited for her to deny.

But she didn't.

"I thought it was over three years ago, I thought it would be better for us to be together without each other; I thought, as long as you are happy, I can do anything." The fact is, when you stand beside me people, I can't accept it.Eyes as clear as the vast sea, fell deeply on Xi Yan, Han Nuo struggled to speak, "Can we start again?"

"It was you who decided to separate, without even an explanation." It was not as difficult as imagined, Xi Yan looked him in the eyes: "When I was abandoned by love, you stood with Xie Yuanteng. At that time, I didn't understand why you suddenly It has changed. Now, the answer is not so important to me. I can imagine that you have difficulties, but you shouldn’t even deprive me of the right to choose. Han Nuo, you can say that it’s over when it’s over, I But you can’t start over like you didn’t get hurt because you want to start.”

"It's not our fault, it has nothing to do with us at all." Han Nuo thought that Xi Yan would cry, but she was very rational, so rational that she seemed a little heartless, he tried to redeem something with old love, "I still love you, Yan Yan. "

"I don't have the confidence to say I don't love you. I don't have the courage to say I still love you." There was a mist in Xi Yan's eyes, as if it was a barrier between her and Han Nuo: "There are many warm things that seem to be in harmony in this world, but We can't afford it. When the blood of our loved ones is mixed between us, Han Nuo, can we still love each other like before?"

"Yanyan, I can't do it." When he spoke again, Han Nuo's voice revealed the pain of despair, "I know I chose the most stupid way, but I didn't mean to hurt you, I thought it was against you the best choice."

"What do you think?" Xi Yan choked up, "Why do you choose for me?"

"My mistake is that I made the decision for you self-righteously." Clean and slender fingers caressed her cheek, Han Nuo's voice was filled with helpless sadness, "Watching you walk away step by step, one meter, 100 meters, Until you disappear from my sight, do you know how regretful I am? I told myself, as long as you come back, I will never let go. I waited day after day, one year, two years, until you appeared."

Xi Yan couldn't hold back her tears anymore, she cried and said, "It's not just 100 meters, I've walked seven thousand miles, Han Nuo."

She also waited, standing foolishly in the airport hall, watching people coming and going, watching other people's gathering and parting, waiting for him to stay with the most complete despair.However, he still didn't say a word to her until the plane took off and took her away from City A to the ancient city seven thousand miles away.

After three years, he said: start again.

But how to start?
Hot tears fell drop by drop on the back of his hand, and Xi Yan wept uncontrollably.

Han Nuo hugged her into his arms and hugged her tightly: "I'm sorry."

sorry.Export is harm.

That sudden change, those days when she tried to anesthetize herself with alcohol, the pain that existed whether she was sober or not, everything was enough to obliterate a love.

When the salty tears soaked the shirt on Han Nuo's chest, his eyes were also red, he held Xi Yan's face as if it were precious, he kissed her eyes softly, then moved down slowly, and finally landed on the On the lips that had been missed for a long time, there was a strong and deep kiss.

The momentum was so direct and strong that Xi Yan almost gave up and surrendered.Then, a face with clear facial features suddenly appeared, pulling back her remaining rationality.Xi Yan pushed Han Nuo away with all her strength, and refused, "Don't do this."

Han Nuo didn't let go.

Xi Yan didn't struggle, and let him hug her, "When my mother left, I knelt all night, and I begged her to forgive me, forgive me for not giving up on you, because I know it's not your fault. I thought you understood, But you don’t want me anymore. I waited until the last moment, until the airport broadcast urged boarding over and over again, but you didn’t come.”

On the day of leaving, Xi Yan stood in the waiting hall, waiting for Han Nuo to show up at the last moment like the male protagonist in the novel, preventing her from leaving.Her and Wen Xingyuan's names were read over and over again on the radio, Xi He looked at his watch frequently, Wen Xingyuan sat silently, and she was finally disappointed.

"Brother, I'm leaving." Xi Yan bid farewell softly in Xi He's arms, then let Wen Xingyuan hold her hand and boarded the plane.

Then, three years.

At this moment, Xi Yan finally broke away from Han Nuo's embrace: "Facts have proved that without each other, nothing will happen. So, let's be like this."

Whether it is love or nostalgia, it ends here.

Yes, there must be an end.

Han Nuo watched her push the car door and drift away.He sat in the car and smoked one cigarette after another until Xie Yuanteng appeared.

Pulling Han Nuo's hand over his left chest, Xie Yuanteng's exquisitely made-up face showed exhaustion, "Three years ago you said that there are many kinds of love, but there is only one mother. I thought you were really over, I thought it was plain You can also have love, take ten thousand steps back, even if you take me as her substitute, I will be willing. But you forgot, I am a human being, a woman, and I will be hurt."

I thought it would be a matter of time to be accepted by him, but I tried my best, but still couldn't get a response.

Xie Yuanteng cried with a smile: "I don't even dare to expect you to love me, so it doesn't work."

In love, humility is not enough.

Tang Yifan and Ji Ruoning went on their honeymoon, Wen Xingyuan and Xi Yan went to see them off.

Ji Ruoning walked in front with Xi Yan's arm: "Stop competing with the past, use time to dilute a relationship with Xinhuan, and only then can you be worthy of yourself."

Xi Yan turned her head subconsciously, just as Wen Xingyuan, who was walking behind with Tang Yifan, was looking in her direction, her eyes met in mid-air, and she turned around hastily.Since she met Han Nuo in the morning, Wen Xingyuan didn't take the initiative to talk to her, but he didn't mention to leave. He just read a book in her small apartment, as if nothing happened, and he seemed to be angry.

"I can't try him, it's not fair to him." Xi Yan sighed softly, "You don't know how good he is, I can't hurt him."

"Your worries are simply inexplicable. As long as you are sincere when you are with him, why hurt it? Love is a consensual thing. I haven't tried it. No one knows if it is suitable. I believe that even if the final result is not What he wants, he won't blame you."

"It's more sad to lose than not to have, I'm afraid..."

"What's your psychology? How is he not as good as Han Nuo? You can fall in love with Han Nuo, why can't he?" Ji Ruoning wanted to hit her twice and wake her up.

It was because he was so nice that Xi Yan hesitated, besides, "He didn't say anything."

Ji Ruoning let out a "puchi" laugh: "So you're struggling with this."

Xi Yan pushed her: "Keep your voice down."

"Does it need to be said? Isn't his action the most powerful proof? I'm worried about your IQ." Ji Ruoning almost didn't want to be friends with her: "Even a fool can see how much you love Han Nuo. It means that once, once, he didn't take advantage of it, it just means that he loves you and doesn't want to make things difficult for you." Leaning close to Xi Yan's ear, she whispered: "Listen to Yifan, Wen Xingyuan has liked you for a long time gone."

At the end of that day, Ji Ruoning said: "Since you know that he is good, it means that he is worth your risk. Give him a chance, and give yourself a chance."

Xi Yan was silent.She didn't know that Wen Xingyuan was standing not far away in the busy airport hall, and he didn't even dare to take a second look at her back. If he took another look, he would be unable to restrain himself from hugging her into his arms.

After so many years, it's not unreasonable.Wen Xingyuan also thought about it: I'm afraid I won't be able to walk into her heart in this life, only by not saying anything can I stay by her side for a long time.But after he tried it, he found that it didn't work.

The love for Xiyan is either absolute or zero.Wen Xingyuan really couldn't compromise.

Coming out of the airport, Xi Yan said to buy flowers, and Wen Xingyuan knew where she was going.

The cemetery is surrounded by pines and cypresses, and the fragrance flutters with the wind. The perfume lily has a sad beauty in this tranquility.Putting the flowers in front of the tomb, Xi Yan sat down on her knees and gently pressed her face against the cold photo, "Mom."

Accompanied by this choking sound, her tears fell drop by drop.Wen Xingyuan knelt down and wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes with his fingertips.

"Auntie, long time no see. I'm Xingyuan. I'll accompany Xiaoyan to see you." He held Xiyan's hand in his palm and pressed his thumb gently on her tiger's mouth. Didn't come back, but she misses you very much, every moment. I know you don't blame her, but she stubbornly refuses to forgive herself."

Xi Yan buried her face in the socket of his shoulder and let the tears drip down on the skin of his neck.

Her sadness and helplessness have long been invisible in front of him, and there is no need to cover up.

"Xiaoyan is fine, don't worry. She eats well and sleeps well. Look, she has gained weight. She is so heavy that I can't even hold her." Wen Xingyuan hugged her tightly, trying to Share the pain buried deep in her heart with the warmth of her body: "You have to say something for me, this girl will be me if she has nothing to do, and she will throw all her anger on me, it's all up to me." The person in his arms moved slightly, and he smiled lowly, "Am I wrong, dare you do it or not."

Xi Yan burst into tears and smiled: "It's not too shameful, a big man is still suing a petty complaint."

Wen Xingyuan patted her on the back like coaxing a child: "Who said that complaints are reserved for girls? You're sexist."

Xi Yan retorted: "My discrimination against you is not only about gender."

Wen Xingyuan hugged her badly, making Xi Yan scream.When she calmed down, Wen Xingyuan spoke again: "Xiaoyan, don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone is vulnerable, and this is allowed." Holding tightly in his generous palm, "Auntie's matter has nothing to do with you, and your self-blame is unreasonable. People who leave can't come back, and everyone around is still there, but you are not good. Three years, what should I do?" Let go, what should be forgotten, what should be understood. Be brave, just be brave."

(End of this chapter)