Chapter 43
I looked up and was about to speak when I remembered the message Haymitch had sent us the night before that he didn't understand.I can't say that a kiss is a pot of soup, or else I'll annoy the audience, and they'll see that our romance is concocted, a way to earn their sympathy, and then there's nothing to eat.Anyway, I have to get the audience's emotions going, and it's not that hard.I reach out and take Peeta's hand.

"You see, he must have spent a lot of money to help me knock you out." I said mischievously.

"Yeah, that's right," Peeta said, intertwining his fingers with mine. "Don't do that again."

"What else?" I asked.

"Otherwise...otherwise..." He couldn't think of how to say it for a while, "Let me think about it."

"Any questions?" I asked with a smile.

"The problem is we're all still alive, so you feel more like you're doing the right thing," Peeta said.

"I did right," I said.

"No, no, Katniss!" He squeezed my hand painfully, and his voice was angry. "Don't die for me. Don't help me again, okay?"

He spoke in such a strong tone that it surprised me, and made me see the perfect opportunity to get food, and I continued, "Maybe I'm doing this all for myself, Peeta, do you think so? Maybe you're not the only one Those who are worried, in case..."

I'm trying to find the right words, I'm not as good at words as Peeta.As I spoke, I felt the fear of losing Peeta again, and realized how much I didn't want him to die.It's not about patrons, it's not about going back to District [-], it's just that I don't want to be alone and lose the boy who gave me bread.

"What if, Katniss?" he said softly.

At this point I wish I had a shutter in front of me that I could close to keep out Panem's prying eyes, even if it meant losing food.No matter how I feel at this moment, it is my own business.

"Haymitch asked me to avoid this topic." I couldn't answer directly, but Haymitch never said such a thing.Maybe he was mad at me and lost the chain in the midst of the emotional turmoil.But Peeta seemed to have figured out what the words meant.

"Then I'll have to guess for myself!" he said, coming up to me.

This is the first real kiss, you love me.Sickness and numbness did not dampen its heat, lips were neither hot with fever nor chilled with cold.For the first time, I experienced the sprouting of emotion, the warmth of a kiss, and my heart was full of curiosity; it was also the first time I longed for another kiss.

But I didn't get a second kiss, Peeta just gave me a light kiss on the tip of my nose, and he turned his attention to my wound, "I think your wound is bleeding again, come on, lie down, It's time to sleep anyway," he said.

My socks are dry and ready to wear.I let Peeta wear his own jacket.It was wet and cold, freezing, and Peeta must have been frozen.I insisted on my first watch, although we both felt that no one would come in this weather.But he won't agree unless I get into the sleeping bag too.I was already shivering from the cold, and it seemed that there was no need to refuse.Two nights ago, I felt Peeta was thousands of miles away from me; now, he is close to me.We lay down, he turned my head away, and put it on his arm, and put the other arm on me like a protection, and he didn't take it away when he fell asleep.It's been a long time since I've been hugged like this.After my father passed away, I didn't trust my mother either, and no one's arms have ever given me such a sense of security.Through the night vision goggles, I watched the raindrops fall on the ground of the cave, making a rhythmic sound of ding ding dong dong, making people feel that the surroundings are very quiet.A few times I fell asleep, only to wake up quickly, guilty and angry.Three or four hours later, I had to wake Peeta because I was too sleepy to keep my eyelids open.He doesn't seem to mind.

"It won't rain tomorrow, I will find a place for both of us in the tree, and we can both sleep." I promised him with sleepy eyes.

But the next day the weather didn't improve, it was still raining, as if the contest organizers were determined to wash us away.The huge thunder shook the ground.Peeta was going to go out and find something to eat no matter what, but I told him that in this weather, he couldn't find food when he went out, and he couldn't see anything three feet in front of him. It's even more troublesome.He knew what I said was right, but his stomach was growling and he was very hungry.

Day passed, night fell, and the weather didn't get any better.Haymitch is our only hope, and he hasn't moved at all. Is it because of lack of money - prices are skyrocketing now - or is he not satisfied with our performance?Most likely the latter.I have to admit that we really didn't have a great performance today.All we showed was hunger, pain, fear of open wounds, we huddled in our sleeping bags and snuggled together, mostly for warmth, and the most exciting thing we did was take a nap.

I really don't know how to make some more touching love scenes, the last kiss last night was great, but there must be conditions for another kiss.In the Seam, some businesswomen are just at home with this.But I hardly ever have time for it, and it's of little use.Anyway, a kiss doesn't do the trick, otherwise we'd have had food last night.My hunch is that Haymitch wants us not just to be intimate, but to have something a little more personal.It was the personal experiences and stories he asked me to tell while preparing for the TV interview.I don't like it at all, but Peeta seems to be pretty good at it, and maybe the best thing to do is get him to talk.

"Peeta," I said softly, "During the TV interview, you said you were infatuated with me. When did you start liking me?"

"Oh, let me see, it must have been the first day of school, there were five of us, and you were wearing a red plaid skirt with two braids instead of one, and when we lined up, Dad put your Show me," Peeta said.

"What did your father say?" I asked.

"He said, 'See that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but her mother ran off with a coal digger,'" Peeta said.

"What? You made it up!" I yelled.

"No, it's true," Peeta said. "I said 'coal digger'? Why would she talk to you about a coal digger? He said, 'Because when he sings, even the birds stop and listen.' "

"Yeah, it does, I mean, it used to," I said.I was both surprised and moved to think of the baker saying that to Peeta.I suddenly felt that my reluctance to sing might not be because I was afraid of wasting time, but because I would think of my father.

"So that day, at the concert, when the teacher asked who could sing folk songs, your hands were raised high. The teacher asked you to stand on a stool and sing for us. I bet all the birds outside the window stopped at that time Tweet," Peeta said.

"Oh, please don't say that," I said, laughing.

"Indeed, really, when your singing was over, I knew—like your mother—that I was a follower," Peeta said. Courage to speak to you."

"But you didn't make it," I continued.

"No. So it was a stroke of luck that my name was drawn for the Harvest Festival ceremony," Peeta said.

For a while, I was foolish and felt very happy in my heart, but soon, I felt very confused.Ordinarily, we did this for a show, pretending to be in love; but Peeta's story seemed real, especially about Daddy and the birds.And I did sing on my first day of school, though I don't remember what it was.As for the red plaid dress... there was one, I passed it to Prim after Papa died, and it was all washed out.

It would also explain another thing, why Peeta willingly took the beating to give me bread on the day I was starving and cold.So, if these details are true, are the others also true?

"Your... memory is really good." I didn't know what to say.

"I remember everything about you," Peeta said, pushing a strand of loose hair behind my ear. "You just didn't notice."

"I won't now," I said.

"Well, I have no competition here," he said.

I wanted to close the "shutters" again, but I knew I couldn't.I can almost hear Haymitch whispering in my ear, "Speak up! Speak up!"

I hesitated, and finally said: "You won't be there anywhere." This time, I took the initiative to approach him.

We were about to kiss when there was a dull clang of metal, and we both jumped up, and I picked up my bow and arrow to shoot, but there was no other sound.Peeta looked through the cracks in the stone, and then yelled.Before I could call him to stop, he jumped into the rain and handed me something.A basket is tethered under a silver parachute.I opened it quickly and there was a hearty meal inside - fresh omelets, feta cheese, apples, and best of all, a lamb stew with wild rice in a soup plate, the kepi I was talking about to Caesar Frickman The best food ever.

Peeta twisted and slid into the hole, a broad smile on his face. "I guess Haymitch is tired of watching us starve."

"I suppose so," I replied.

But in my heart I can hear Haymitch's words, "Yeah, what you've done is exactly what I want, honey." His words are bitter, but still quite smug.

(End of this chapter)

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